Golf and "A Dangerous Man" blurb

Briefly shopped in Godalming this morning, and then spent the rest of the time until lunch writing more of "The Gifting". Another 1000 words done today, and it's flowing a little easier now that I've got a key scene over with. I think I'm coming to the end of the second (of four) main sections too, so it will be nice - a challenge, yikes! - to move onto the next one. But it still takes me an age to get down to typing - I always have to mess around on the computer, surfing and playing Solitaire, before I'm in the right frame of mind. Or is that the write frame of mind? Weird, but it's how it is.

Golf at lunchtime was fun - Marian and I were rubbish, but we laughed a lot. This evening, Lord H is out at a works do, so I've taken the opportunity to buy an Indian takeaway (he can't stand the smell ...). Bliss! Will have to remember not to breathe when he comes back though. A night in front of the TV watching videos is called for, I think.

Ooh, and great news on the "A Dangerous Man" front. Sean from Flame Books (http://www.flamebooks.com) sent me my blurb yesterday and said that we should know the publication date very soon. It was such a relief to get the message - thank you, Sean! And I was very impressed with his blurb, which is in itself a work of art. The man's a genius. I include it below for your delectation:

"Michael Jones, a young gay artist and part-time prostitute will do anything to stage his first exhibition. When he falls in love with rich financier, Jack Hutchinson, he seems set to achieve his goal. But as Mikey becomes caught between the unforgiving territory of smoky-bar Hackney and the green-garden luxury of upper class London, we witness the intense mindscape of a man obsessed with his dreams as he attempts to free himself of his past. When a net of antagonistic relationships and inner battles encroaches upon him, the consequences of Mikey’s uncompromising pursuit emerge in thrilling tragedy, leaving him having to fight for all he holds dear, and in the only way he knows how.

Within a plot thick with the flesh of individual struggle, a backbone of page-turning tension carries Mikey’s plight through the charcoal grey London which rubs itself so close to his skin, entrapping him in a dark kaleidoscope of sex and crime. As she pushes him to the full expression of his haunting richness, Brooke creates a most contemporary of protagonists, alerting us to the psychological discourse and emotional minefield of a troubled man struggling to establish a sense of self and place in urban England."

Gosh. Coming soon (and frequently) to a street corner near you ... And, hell, I can't remember there being so much in it (down, modest writer, down!), but I'm not complaining ... I kind of like being referred to as "Brooke" too - makes me almost sound like a real writer. I suppose I'll know I've really arrived though when people start calling me by my initials (A.L. if you're interested). Shades of JK ... I wish!

And I've just given up on my latest Booker Prize shortlist - Hisham Matar's "In the Country of Men". Um, dull, dull, dull. Don't bother.

Today's nice things:

1. Writing
2. The ADM blurb (though strictly speaking that was actually late yesterday)
3. Golf.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Clarins treatment and Bridport longlisting

Spent a glorious morning having a Clarins facial and body treatment. Bliss. Hey, I'm worth it ... And when I got home, I discovered a letter telling me that my poem, "Kitchen Lion", had been longlisted in the Bridport Poetry Prize. Now there's some jolly good news - it's really given me a lift. All I need now is for someone (anyone! Please?...) to give me some good news on any of my novels and my literary life will be complete. Pause for hoped-for miracle ... Ah, sadly not. Ho hum. Still, I shouldn't be greedy. We writers are surely only allowed one piece of good news in a day (possibly only one per month) - isn't that a staple requirement of the publishers' handbook?...

Bad news on the friends' front. Poor Gladys has had a fall and a mini-stroke, so is in A&E at the local hospital while they sort her out, and do a million and one tests etc. Her neighbour will let me know how things are progressing tomorrow, and I'll see if I can pop into wherever Gladys might be to visit. And another friend has just been made redundant. Bastard employers! Can't they understand skill and genius when they see it?? I've told him to kick the blighters into touch, get whatever he can out of them and go and get a nice job with nice appreciative people. What a world, eh?

The rest of the day I've spent on "The Gifting" - another 1000 words done and I've finished the key naming ceremony section - hurrah! Lord knows what comes next - we'll have to see when we start typing again. As ever. Tonight I'm planning a crash-out night in front of the TV - once Lord H has got rid of the wasp (another bloody wasp!! Where the hell are they coming from??!) in the bedroom. Mind you, it should be dead by now as I sprayed half a can of fly spray at it. The only good wasp is a dead wasp, in my opinion.

Today's nice things:

1. Clarins treatment
2. Writing "The Gifting".

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

University Open Day

Ah the rollercoaster ride of the University Open Day - I covered the afternoon slot, but was on my own most of the time as one of my colleagues was having a work crisis. I'm not at my best at this type of event, but I think I managed the well as I could and sent everyone away happy. Bloody exhausting though!

Shopping this evening, a quick dinner and then the excitement of "Torchwood" on TV. Well, it's looking good, though it isn't a patch on "Dr Who" of course - but you can't go wrong with John Barrowman as Cap'n Jack Harkness. Hmm, serious eye candy ...

Have just finished Nik Perring's "I met a Roman last night, what did you do?" book for children. Very enjoyable and energetic, and a definite one for the young people's Christmas list. And nice to see Beowulf mentioned of course. Good on ya, Nik!

Today's nice things:

1. Surviving Open Day
2. Torchwood
3. Nik's book.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

UniSWriters and Guildford Writers

A day spent writing up minutes today. Felt a bit down, to be honest. Must go back to taking those De-Stress herbal pills - I think they help. Hope the prescription B vitamins kick in soon! Anyway, lunchtime was good - another session of UnisWriters. Though there weren't many there, we had a brilliant in-depth discussion of Julia's synopsis and Alan's pantomime. Both pieces of work sound very exciting to me and I'm looking forward to hearing more about each. (Julia - get those 5 chapters written, or there'll be trouble ...). Can't fuss too much though - Julia has very sweetly just bought "Pink Champagne and Apple Juice" from Amazon, and my rating has rushed up to 22,000-odd - a rare miracle indeed, as normally I'm way down in the six figure zone. Ah well, no doubt, it'll be back down there tomorrow ...

Tonight was Guildford Writers (http://www.guildfordwriters.net) - not many of us there, but it meant we had good discussions of the work on offer and ended early, which is something of a blessing tonight, I think.

Today's nice things:

1. UniSWriters
2. Julia buying "Pink Champagne and Apple Juice" (thanks, babe!)
3. Guildford Writers.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com

Morning strop and Goldenford event

Completely lost it this morning prior to work - spilt my whole breakfast tray, fruit juice 'n' all, off the breakfast bar and over myself, and then went on a 10 minute swearing bout whilst Lord H hid in the bath. I was just soooo cross, and all the frustrations of the last month (no news from Flame Books - http://www.flamebooks.com - on the publication date of "A Dangerous Man"; no news on whether anyone likes "Maloney's Law; no word from my agent - http://www.sff.net/people/john-jarrold/about.html - on publisher responses to "Thorn in the Flesh"; no news on whether Pighog Press - http://www.pighog.co.uk - like my poetry collection; the general feeling of being a failed writer and nothing literary ever working out for me - God) spilt over into a frenzy of rage and tears. Lord, and I hate Mondays anyway. Thank goodness, Lord H and I managed to have some kind of healing conversation before we both had to get out of the flat.

The rest of the day was pretty crap, all in all. We were in a room the temperature of an ice-box for the Steering Group lunchtime meeting, and I just got worse and worse, health-wise. By the time the meeting was over, I felt like lying down and giving up entirely. But necessity meant I struggled through the beginning of the write-up - though my boss took pity on me (thank you, David!) and said I didn't have to minute the last item, which was very confusing and went on for ages, as it would all be changed soon anyway. Lord, I must have looked sick ...

This evening, I was at the Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) "Crossing the Genre" event at Barclays - part of the Guildford Book Festival (http://www.guildfordbookfestival.co.uk). It went surprisingly well - but how I hate doing these things as I'm not a natural at presentations - and Lord H, Liz & Robin turned up (huge thank you, guys ...) - and we even sold some books, though not "Pink Champagne and Apple Juice unfortunately. Lord H made me feel terribly humble as he turned up with an identical version of the shirt he thought I might have ruined this morning - Lord, he's way too nice for me, which is something I've always known of course!.... But it was great to see him, and our day has ended well. Marriage - where would I be without it, eh? And it was nice that one of the Barclays people said how much she was enjoying "Pink Champagne and Apple Juice" and looking forward to seeing how things went. And - even better news! - they've invited us back for a Christmas reading event at the end of November. Result!

Today's nice things:

1. Lord H's kindness
2. The Goldenford Barclays event

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com

Escape from church and more Booker pain

Actually went to church today to do Sacristan duties - hey, at least I'm showing willing - but couldn't face staying to the service. Too many people - ruddy baptisms, how I hate children and babies!! - which always puts me off, and I didn't think I'd last the course without screaming. Church is really beginning to get me down - but it feels as if there's no point in saying it to anyone there as (a) I don't have an in-depth relationship with anyone, and (b) sometimes they're part of the problem. Why do we do the same things week in, week out, but get no closer to God? I'm fed up with the apparent emptiness of the ritual. I think Lord H and I are going to try another church next week - not that I'm that confident that the solution for me is in church at all. Sometimes I find that services just keep God at bay. And sometimes it feels as if - when I'm brave enough to let myself - I can long for Him so much without any hope of fulfilment. Ye gods, there must be another, better way of trying to relate to the Almighty.

The rest of the morning, I did more work on "The Gifting" with my key naming scene. 71,000 words now, thank the Lord. Though I do always prefer the even numbers ... And I logged in for a while to the Rejesus (http://www.rejesus.co.uk) site and did their daily prayer. It helped ease the longing for a while. Do you know, at times I envy people who don't have a faith - it must be a lot easier to live life. But does that emptiness still exist somewhere in everyone? Lord knows.

Have just given up on another Booker Prize shortlisted novel - "Mother's Milk" by Edward St Aubyn was as dry as a desert. I hated Patrick and had no interest in any of the other characters either. That said, there were some funny moments, but not enough to hold me. I think if the child, Robert, had had the viewpoint all the way through then I might have hung on till the end - as he was very surreal (though completely unrealistic) - but no, even then, I think I would have abandoned it. I wonder if literary novelists have forgotten the importance of gripping the reader in their quest for the best sentence - it all seems so bland, with no kick in it. When I read a book, I want to be ravished by it, no matter the flaws - is that too much to ask for? God, I hope not. If Murakami can be a literary novelist, and yet still make you long for the next scene, the next sentence, the next word, why can't others?

I'm planning a lazy day for the rest of today. I've popped downstairs to see Henry, my recuperating neighbour - he's had a minor stroke, but is looking surprisingly well. Later I'll ring mother (yikes!), and then tonight, it's "Wide Sargasso Sea" on TV. I hope it's as ravishing (see above!) as the book.

This week's haiku:

Softened by the day,
I let things rest where they fall.
A slow unlearning.

Today's nice things:

1. Not staying for church
2. Writing
3. Doing the Rejesus prayer.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Poetry breakfast & Goldenford "win"

Attended today's Poetry Breakfast (part of the Book Festival - http://www.guildfordbookfestival.co.uk) at the Abbots Hospital in Guildford - marvellous building and a wonderful occasion too. Heard some great poetry, and my input of "Ivy Tree with Robin 2006: M.J. Strang" went down well. Hey it's lovely to have good feedback! And, as an added bonus, one of the people there read a poem from Esme Ashford's "On the Edge", which was of course the first book Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) produced - such a delight to see it appreciated and out in public! I mentioned I was one of the directors and said how good it was that the lady reading had bought a copy - afterwards she came up and chatted with me. Apparently she's the wife of the former Mayor of Guildford who attended the "On the Edge" launch in 2004, and still loves the book. Now, that's the sort of news publishers like to hear! The lady sitting next to me also joined in the conversation, the upshot being that Lynn (the lady in the next chair) is going to look at the Goldenford website to see the sorts of books we have on offer. Result! Occasionally, even I can do PR ...

Back home, I did some more to "The Gifting" - I'm very much into the scene I'm working on now, and am enjoying it. Hey, writing is fun (though publishing of course is hell ...)! Then a double bill of Star Trek, and I'm videoing "Monk" for later, as Lord H is on a Diocesan course today and he won't want to miss it (the TV, that is - the course sounds like an exercise in dullness, even to him ...).

Tonight, I'm planning a lazy evening, and will be glued to the glorious "Strictly Come Dancing". Mark (Mr Sexy Smile) and Karen get my vote!

Today's nice things:

1. The Poetry Breakfast
2. Writing
3. TV.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com

Golf and shopping

Added a miniscule amount of words to the current scene of "The Gifting" this morning. I'm not getting very far at the moment, so am not too sure how the scene will go. It's a mystery - to me more than anyone ... the joys of writing, eh? Also entered a couple of competitions for this month - one poetry and one story entry - so the mechanics of the trade are ticking along, even if the guts are weak.

Still, I managed a pretty damn good game of golf with Marian today. Not only did I twice chip in from a great distance on a hole (hell, putters are so last century, darling), but Marian did exactly the same on the same holes. Synchronised golfing, here we come! And I parred the sixth - hurrah!

A health-orientated shop in Godalming has rounded off my day, though I've also been pleased by some positive comments from the Writewords (http://www.writewords.org.uk) site about the latest section of "The Gifting". And Lynn Michell from The Linen Press (http://www.linenpressbooks.co.uk) has kindly acknowledged my partial MS for "Maloney's Law" and says she sympathises with how difficult it is for good writing to get published nowadays. Well, that's cheered me up - of course, once she's read it, she may not want to see more, but at least she's being nice - which is a huge miracle in today's shit-nasty publishing world. Good Lord, what a fiery bloody furnace it can be.

Have just finished the second in my Booker Prize shortlist - MJ Hyland's "Carry Me Down" - though by "finished", I mean I got so bored a quarter of the way through that I started skipping huge chunks and then gave up entirely. I don't have any issues with unreliable narrators (hell, I write them myself sometimes ...), but does it have to be quite so dull? If you want a classy novel with a main character with mental problems, then my advice is to skip Hyland and read Mark Haddon's "Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time" instead. It's a million times better.

Today's nice things:

1. Golf
2. The message from Linen Press Books
3. Writewords' response to my upload.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Doctors and wasps

Had my usual check-up with the doctor today. He asked how I was, so I told him - briefly - about the last few months - including feeling depressed, trying to cut down on busy-ness, the current problems of church and God, and the counselling etc. He's a good listener (as well as being a fellow Christian, though I try not to hold that against him ...) and it felt nice to be able to be honest about the whole damn thing for once. He was really sweet about it all - and the result is he's renewed one of my prescriptions, given me another for a Vitamin B complex, printed out some information on anxiety and depression for me, and suggested contacts for my planned ongoing counselling arrangements. At the end, we prayed together - which was unexpected and not normally something I feel that comfortable doing (hey, praying is really personal so back off, people!...) but it actually felt all right this time. Thank you, Dr J. Anyway, I've got another appointment in a month's time, so I'll see how things are then.

Back at home, I got on with having a go with "The Gifting" again - something of a struggle to get into it, but I expected that as I haven't written anything for a week, what with being ill. It took a while, but I've done another thousand words, and am facing a key scene now - so at least it's something to get my teeth into.

Oh, and David Caldo from Writers Promote (http://www.writerspromote.com) has written to Harper Perennial Press mentioning a couple of very worthwhile self-published books they might like to consider (as they're in the market for this, apparently) - one of which is "Pink Champagne and Apple Juice". A thousand blessings on you indeed, David - that's really cheered me up!

Tonight I was supposed to go to the Book Festival (http://www.guildfordbookfestival.co.uk) poetry evening, but I don't much feel like it, to be honest. I think I'm better off staying in and watching TV. Sounds like a plan!... Right now though, I'm stuck in the spare room, as there's a wasp in the hall. I've sprayed, but I'm way too terrified to venture out. Bloody hell, how I hate the evil little beasts! We've been suffering from a spate of them over the last couple of days and I am very, very twitchy. Lord only knows where they're coming from, but I wish they'd ruddy well stay put. Anyway, I've emailed Lord H and told him not to go shopping after work, but to come home instead to rescue the fair maid from the dragon. He's promised a speedy arrival - and has also just rung to confirm this, but I can't answer the phone as it's - yes, you've guessed it - in the ruddy hallway!! Ah well.

Today's nice things:

1. The doctor's appointment
2. Writing
3. David's letter to Harper Perennial.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Counselling

Still not brilliant today, but went to work anyway. Glad I did, actually, as I managed to catch up with the stuff on my desk - hurrah. And prepare myself for the trials and tribulations of next week.

Had my penultimate counselling session with Zoe at lunchtime - we talked about living a fluid rather than a fixed place life, which is something for me to aim for, I think. We also discussed what to do after (yikes!) my last session in a couple of weeks' time. Hell, I'm going to miss it - and her too. Still, I've decided I'm going to look into the whole therapy thing a little more, and Zoe has given me a list of local people to try. That of course fills me with fear - how I hate making direct contact with people. Hell, isn't that why I became a writer?? - but if I'm going to take this seriously, then I'm going to have to hunt around for another therapist, and just get over the blockage.

Lord H is tied up at work this evening, so will have to go for the late dinner option. At least I'm hungry though - I haven't felt like eating for days now! I was supposed to go out to the second part of the Book Festival (http://www.guildfordbookfestival.co.uk) chick lit evening tonight - specifically to cheer Kate Long, whom I know from Writewords (http://www.writewords.org.uk) - but I don't feel up to much so I think I'll give it a miss. If I had the energy, I'd try to do some writing, but frankly m'dear I can't be arsed.

Today's nice things:

1. Getting on with stuff at work
2. Counselling

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

The further annals of the sick

Hey, two days of feeling rotten - lucky me!

Monday 16 October: Went to work. Damn fool - most definitely shouldn't have, or I should at least have come home in the afternoon after minuting the Student Mental Wellbeing Group. Will I never learn??!!! During the evening, the nasty sinuses thing really came on apace (as it were, Carruthers ...). Lord H reminded me that I had exactly the same attack last year post-New York and during the first week of the Guildford Book Festival (http://www.guildfordbookfestival.co.uk), which this is. Damn and double damn. So I was up all night, finally being able to sleep at about 5am this (Tuesday) morning. Mind you, I tried the castor oil packing on the chest and throat thing that my kinesiologist (http://www.kinesiology4health.com) recommended, and it did improve things greatly - but not enough to be able to lie down to sleep without feeling sick, sadly. Still, it was better - and I'm grateful. I shall definitely be doing that again during my next bout ...

Tuesday 17 October: Still feel weak (though on the mend), so took the precaution of having a day off work today. It means missing my Indian Head Massage with Emily, darn it, but there it is. I will have to reschedule. I'll also be missing the Guildford Writers (http://www.guildfordwriters.net) Success Stories evening at the Book Festival, but it's safer to stay at home, and I hope - please God! - that I'll be better by the time of the Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) Crossing the Genre event next Monday. Spent a large part of the day asleep. Hurrah.

Finished the first of my Booker Prize shortlist - Sarah Waters' "The Night Watch" - during the night, appropriately enough. Frankly, m'dear, I didn't give a damn. Most definitely NOT her best. Dull, dull and ... err ... dull. It needed to be cut by about a third and, really, I didn't believe in the very incestuous lesbian circle (surely there had to be other lesbians out there in post-war London!!?), and the affair with a married man and the abortion were frankly just cliche. Wasn't Bette Davis in the film during the 50s??? A shame, as I usually enjoy Waters' stuff, but this isn't worth it.

Some nice things:

1. Um, feeling better? Sort of ...
2. Getting a little bit of sleep.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com

Recuperation day

Made a brave attempt to get to the 9.30 service today (goodness, how holy I am), but decided I wasn't quite up to it and it would be more sensible to stay in. I do feel a lot better after a decent night's sleep last night (at last!!) though. Lord H represented the household at the service - he didn't bring back much gossip apart from the fact that the church kitchen now has a microwave. Now if only I knew how to use one ...

So this morning, I've pottered around and cleaned, and this afternoon I've watched "Rumour Has It" (romantic comedy) on DVD - not bad actually, and just the ticket when you're not feeling up to much. Just about time for another nap before the evening turns up. And tonight is the final episode of "Jane Eyre" - Reader, I married him ... Yikes, have given away the ending! It won't be a surprise now ...

This week's haiku:

Fired up by Lemsip,
Lucozade and sleeplessness,
my slow night ticks by.

Today's nice things:

1. The film
2. Napping.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Still sick, dammit ...

.... and another rough night in the living room with very little sleep. Which meant I've been too ill to go golfing today. Further damns. And I suspect the cleaning will have to wait. Not to mention any thought of writing!

Still, I did enjoy the double bill of Star Trek this afternoon, along with the new series of Monk. What did sick people do before the age of TV? I dread to think.

Being up all night meant I finished Jodi Picoult's "Perfect Match". Another page turner from the mistress of page turning work, but my goodness what a horrible heroine and an equally horrible heroine's husband. I had no sympathy with either of them. How I wish Nina had gone to jail for twenty years - it would have been justice for her crass stupidity, shallowness and general bitchiness. I felt sorry for the poor priest - no justice for him, obviously ... And why was everyone in love with her? They must have been mad.

Today's nice things:

1. Star Trek
2. Monk.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Day of Sickness

A hell of a night last night - a catarrh-filled cold suddenly came upon me (cried the Lady of Shalott) and I spent most of the night in the living room - it's warmer, and my sinuses can't stand the cold in the bedroom ... Some of the time I slept on the sofa, but not much. So it was a very lazy morning, and I finally really surfaced somewhere around midday. Feeling like crap. Tired crap too.

Did a few more words to "The Gifting" - which was really all I was good for, and had another long nap. Lord H and I were supposed to be going out to a play in Guildford tonight, but have decided not to bother. I'll see how I feel in the morning tomorrow before worrying about what to do as regards golf. And, apparently, the artist (Michael Strang) currently exhibiting at the University gallery likes the poem I did about one of his paintings, so that's made me feel better. Hell, in this business, ego is all.

Oh, and last night's "Characters in Conflict" Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) evening was very good, even though not many people turned up. Those that did seemed to enjoy it, and left smiling at the end. Didn't buy any of our books though, dammit.

Today's nice things:

1. Writing (a little)
2. Michael Strang's comments about my art poem
3. Getting some sleep!!

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com

Characters in Conflict

Struggled to squeeze out some words to "The Gifting" this morning - I was just getting into the zone (as it were) when I had to go and play golf. This is the life, eh?... Still, it wasn't the best round I've ever had - three air shots, dammit, though I made up with a par on the sixth. Honour was satisfied. Never mind, Marian and I still managed to enjoy it.

Popped in to see Gladys after golf - a very vague day, and she seemed very quiet, but that's the way of it sometimes these days. We had the same conversation several times. I didn't stay long, as she looked very tired.

Tonight, Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) are hosting a creative writing evening in Waterstone's in Godalming. The theme is Characters in Conflict - I've practised my section so many times I could probably do it blindfold while hanging from a lamp-post. Not a pretty thought, all in all. But no doubt I'll still be so nervous that I'll end up going to the loo at least three times before we start. How I hate these public events, but Lord knows they have to be done. I'd really rather just do the writing. But, for Goldenford's sake, let's hope some people actually turn up and we have someone to be creative with - now that would be good ...

Today's nice things:

1. Golf
2. The bit of "The Gifting" I managed to do.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com

Counselling and Request for "Maloney's Law"!

Finished off the draft mentor manual today and gave it to Carol for checking. Also started typing up a large font format copy of our new fees leaflet - once done I can add it the Student Care Services website.

Had a good counselling session with Zoe today - I think we decided that there were lots of fragments of me floating around, but at least I acknowledged their existence more now - the thing to do is get them into some sort of cohesive whole. Quite a task, eh? And only two more sessions to go with Zoe. We talked a little about what happens afterwards - and I'm beginning to feel that I'd like to explore this more and see what else I can do, so we'll discuss it at next week's session.

Food shopping after work (what joy!) and then this evening I've been doing a few last minute edits to "Maloney's Law" before sending it off by email to US/Canadian publishers, Kunati (http://www.kunati.com) - who, ye gods and little fishes, have actually requested a copy! Please God, I hope they like it. It feels so positive to be at this point after all this time. It makes such a difference. Let's hope something good comes of it ...

Today's nice things:

1. Counselling
2. Finishing off the manual
3. Kunati's request for "Maloney's Law".

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Stewarding and Kinesiology

Managed to get all my report proof-reading done today apart from the appendices. Quite a good flow to the day as well, which was nice. Stewarded in the art gallery at lunchtime - finished my book and wrote a poem about one of the pictures whilst there. Jo, who runs the gallery, said she'd put it on display and thought the artist might like to see it. Quite a positive feeling, all in all!

This evening, I had another kinesiology (http://www.kinesiology4health.com) appointment with Jane - we've decided to look at Vitamin E tablets and Epsom Salt baths for going through the winter - my grandmother would have been proud!

As mentioned above, I've just finished Andrew Taylor's "The Barred Window" - a slow-burn psychological thriller, which is something of a page turner and which I rather enjoyed, though it's not a patch on the "Requiem for an Angel" trilogy or "The American Boy". And I had worked out who the murderer was by the end - but the journey there was still very worthwhile.

Today's nice things:

1. The poem in the gallery
2. Andrew Taylor's book

Gallery stewarding

Spent most of the day doing my mentor manual project at work - have finally (at last! at last!) got all the text in, and now only have the (huge) task of sorting it out and looking at the style of the thing. Still, it is the more interesting stage now, so I'm not as worried about it as I was before. Famous last words, eh?...

Sat in the art gallery at lunchtime doing my stewarding session. Had more people through today, but no-one wanted to chat. Which is good news as I don't know anything. And it meant I could relax, stare at the picture of the beautiful green tree opposite and read my book for an hour. Bliss. I might do this more often anyway, whether stewarding or not. It's quiet and peaceful, and a break away from it all.

Tonight, Lord H is out at theology class, so I'll try to get more of "The Gifting" done, but I suspect my efforts will be minimal - I'm feeling shattered after the anger-filled weekend, and also rather emotionally sore, so an early night is desperately needed. And nothing on TV, damn it.

Today's nice things:

1. The art gallery stewarding
2. Getting to the editorial stage of the mentor manual project.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Publishing hell and Star Trek

A very low day today - will have to up the dose of my de-stress herbals soon, dammit. Have spent a large part of the day arguing my case on the Writewords (http://www.writewords.org.uk) site that mainstream publishing has its finger too far up its own proverbials to know much about quality as its main focus is sellability (two very different things) and that you have to rely these days on self- and small-publishing a lot of the time too. It's interesting how the support has neatly divided into those who have mainstream deals who say I'm talking stuff and nonsense, and those who write equally good (if not more so) work but aren't lucky enough to have landed a commercial deal, who understand there's a lot of truth in what I say. Have been increasingly annoyed with the attitudes shown throughout the day, I have to say - Lord preserve me from not seeing the "other" side of the street any more if I should ever get a "big name" to take me seriously! I suspect I'm kept fairly grounded from that horror though by the fact that if I ever get a mainstream deal, I believe it'll only be for one or two books anyway, no more, so the self- and small-publishing options are very much going to keep me in business.

Still, all the shennanigans of the discussion have made me feel that for my own sanity I'd like to steer clear of the Writewords forums for a while - at least until people see that we have to give house-room both to mainstream and smallstream authors. This bollocks about "oh it's only ever published if it's good, and anything good always gets published" is nothing but moonshine and arses.

The one good thing about today was the lovely triple bill of "Star Trek" I've watched this afternoon - you can never go wrong with outer space indeed. Would that the world down here was run with honesty and justice - but sadly it's not.

This week's haiku:

Today, I gave up
being the social glue; see
my friends fade away.

Today's nice things:

1. Star Trek.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Canterbury

Lord H and I spent a day in Canterbury today. No particular reason - just because we could. We weren't as impressed as we'd hoped to be. The more I visit Kent, the happier I am to be out of it - except for the valued few residents whom we know, it strikes me as being filled with hard people who get angry and swear a lot. There's a terrible feeling of oppression. Surrey - and indeed Essex - is far nicer all round. Still, the Cathedral was very pleasant - I was particular moved by the shrine to 20th century martyrs. A lesson for us all. And the organ, which happened to be playing for some of the time we were there, was lovely. Oh, and finding the fudge shop - which I remember from my Kentish days - was great too. Naturally, we purchased.

At home, did a mad round of shopping and semi-cleaning, and then it's "Celebrity Come Dancing" with Brucie later on. Bliss.

Or it would be bliss if I wasn't rather depressed and in a "God but I hate the bloody mainstream publishing world" zone. Writing is a world apart, thank God, but the publishing big business is - as far as I can see - pure crap. Run by hard-nosed posh folk for whom the word "commercial" has become a god. Good writing is, unfortunately, a very poor second. I think I want as little to do with it as possible. Thank the Lord for decent small publishers. At least they're keeping some sort of flame alive.

Today's nice things:

1. The organ music
2. The fudge shop
3. Leaving Canterbury.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Writing

Did more to "The Gifting" today - and I think I may have got over one of the "humps" in the plot I've been worried about. Thank goodness. It does spark off other potential problems, but at least I've gone part-way to surmounting it. And 65,000 words now, so that's good news. I'm aiming for 120,000, I think, as fantasy novels are always longer. So they say.

Should have gone golfing with Marian in the middle of the day, but torrential rain stopped play. So I stumbled on with "The Gifting" for a while, but I'm stopping now to laze around and watch TV. Hell, I have to get my ideas from somewhere.

Still no news on a publication date for "A Dangerous Man", but I know Flame (http://www.flamebooks.com) must be bloody busy with everything right now, so I'll just have to be patient. If I've learnt any damn thing over the years in this game, it should be patience - but still it doesn't come easily. Ah well. At least I've not been feeling quite as depressed recently as I've grown accustomed to feeling. Which is something of a relief, though I'm not sure how long this "light zone" will last, to be honest.

Oh, and last night's ballet - "The Three Musketeers" as performed by Northern Ballet Theatre - was absolutely stunning. The first few minutes of the Prologue might have been a tad on the camp side of camp, but once they got started, it was bloody marvellous. Great and very exciting dancing, great characters and wonderful swordfights/scene choreography. If you get the chance to see it, then do!

Today's nice things:

1. Writing
2. Not feeling quite so depressed
3. Yesterday's ballet.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Goldenford and ballet

A slow start to the morning - hell, we all need a lie-in sometimes. Typed up the Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) minutes from Tuesday's meeting, practised my readings for the three Goldenford and Guildford Writers (http://www.guildfordwriters.net) events we have coming up in October, and did another thousand words to "The Gifting". It's funny how painfully slow the process of writing is for this particular novel, but how much I'm learning from it. It's as if I'm pulling Simon into the world very very gradually, and the more I see of him, the more I realise he's me. It gives me a lot to think about, but feels real.

Visited Gladys in the afternoon - lively but vague today, I think. At home, I uploaded my two available novels and one poetry book onto the new Writewords (http://www.writewords.org.uk) bookshop site. This is going to be a brilliant idea - there are about 5 or 6 books there at the moment, including mine - and it's going to be so much simpler to have this sort of place where quality work is guaranteed. Of course!

Tonight, Lord H and I are off to the ballet in Woking - "The Three Musketeers". Hope it will be good, but I have to say the new Woking icecream is rubbish. They just don't offer Loseley any more - shame, we cry.

Today's nice things:

1. The writing
2. The new Writewords bookshop
3. The ballet.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com

Counselling

A long day, but not as bad as yesterday as I'm now neck-deep in sorting my current project out (a student mentoring manual). Once I've bashed it all in on the keyboard, I can get down to putting things in the right order, which will (probably) be easier than choosing what actually goes in. I hope ...

Lunchtime was my counselling session with Zoe - in the new Counselling Centre, which is much nicer than the old one. We talked about finding the hidden "me" (which basically feels like a screwed-up male in his twenties/thirties who's not terribly obviously "nice") and bringing it to the surface more - rather than pretending to be a nice, relatively normal woman in her forties - and even as I write that description, it seems like a lie. Hell, sometimes, I feel I'm living a shadow life and somewhere out there this bloke I carry inside me is living his real life in a much fuller and more energetic way. Maybe that's why I write about him all the time. Even in my head, I call him "Michael". The closest book to the way I feel about myself has always been "A Dangerous Man". Now I'm beginning to understand why.

A fairly quiet evening lies ahead - probably a good thing. Sean, my editor at Flame Books (http://www.flamebooks.com), is just sorting a few bits and pieces out for the printer, so maybe that publication date is soon in the offing. Hope so, anyway! It'll give me something to look forward to, which would be nice.

And we're hoping to mend our leaking toilet soon - Ruth at work has given us lots of ideas - thanks, Ruth - and I really hope one of them solves the problem.

Today's nice things:

1. Counselling
2. Moving forward with the publication of "A Dangerous Man".

Reflexology and Goldenford

A long and very average day, most of which I spent with my head down doing a university project. A bit dull, but there you go. Thoroughly enjoyed my lunchtime reflexology session though - a bit of balance and grounding does you good. As they say.

And this evening, I minuted the Goldenford meeting - not much happening at the moment, but we have three events coming up in October, so it will be all systems go from next week - click onto http://www.goldenford.co.uk (then go to "Events") or http://www.guildfordwriters.net (then go to "Programme") to find out more. If you can come along to any of those, you'll be assured of a very warm welcome.

And good news on the "A Dangerous Man" front - it looks like the wonderful artwork done by Nell Grey (aka Penelope Cline) of Writewords (http://www.writewords.org.uk) is all set to go, so that's marvellous. Huge thanks again, Nell! Now all I have to worry about is getting my publication date from Flame (http://www.flamebooks.com). Talking of the Writewords site, they've just put up a "Sell your Book" field on the profiles page, so have uploaded my 2 novels ("The Hit List" and "Pink Champagne and Apple Juice") and one poetry book ("Tidal") onto there ready for when it goes live. I'm not sure I've got the hang of the front covers and some of the text looks strange - but we'll see.

Today's nice things:

1. Reflexology
2. The artwork being sorted.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com

Writing admin

A long and depressing work day today - I felt shattered throughout. The good news though is that my colleague Ruth's husband, Douglas, isn't seriously ill with his current chest infection, and it's nothing more sinister - hurrah! No, double hurrahs. All round. We celebrated with left-over meeting cake in the afternoon, which was much needed by then.

Spent the lunchtime stewarding in the University gallery - some of the paintings were glorious. I particularly liked the one of Wiltshire poppies - stunning, though you probably needed to stand further away from it than you were allowed to in order to appreciate it fully.

A quick-fire turnround this evening as Lord H had to leave at 7pm to get to his Theology course. So I've been busy doing writing admin - including chasing up Arcadia Books (a recommendation from Maggie Hamand of Maia Press) to see if they'd like a closer look at "Maloney's Law". Please God let them say yes! That would be soooo unbelievable ... I'm also doing last minute chasing of Flame Books (http://www.flamebooks.com) as Nell (my marvellous cover artist for "A Dangerous Man") is away on holiday from Friday, and the both of us are desperate to get any hitches ironed out before she goes away. Dear God, let that be okay too ...

I also received a very positive comment on "The Gifting" from the Writewords (http://www.writewords.org.uk) site, which has given me a much needed boost - thanks, Tony!

Today's nice things:

1. Coming home from work
2. The Writewords comment
3. Douglas isn't ill! Thank you, God ...

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Bloody rainy ...

... and it never stopped today. One moment okay-ish and then another half hour or so of torrential downpour. And so it went on. Ye gods. So far we've had three mini-storms (one not so mini) and one short electricity cut. Just like the 70s, as far as I remember them of course!

Haven't been feeling very well today, so have kept warm-ish and dry in the house. Lord H went off to do church stuff, including the grand opening of the new vestry. I'm not great at big parties, so am glad I missed it. Besides, I don't much care about the new room anyway, and am having a big "I don't really care about church so stop asking me about it" moment. Instead, I slept for two hours, watched some TV and did a barrel-load of reading.

Have just finished Susan Hill's "The Various Haunts of Men" which is absolutely stunning - couldn't put it down. Very well structured too, even though there aren't any actual bodies till at least a third of the way through. It was the psychology and characters which made it for me though, not the body count. A darn sight better than the other novel by her which I've read - the one about the second Mrs de Winter - that was dullsville UK until the very end paragraph where it finally took off. Still, this latest one is tempting me to read more.

And no need to phone Mum today either - she's in the Azores, so a week off from being a good daughter. Ha! Not that I'm ever that, not being interested in anything that smacks of family.

Will try to add a word or two to "The Gifting" later on, but it depends how the evening goes. I don't have a great urge to do any, so we'll see.

This week's haiku is:

The week is rain-full;
skies flow endlessly to earth.
I stare at the clouds.

Today's nice things:

1. Not going to church
2. Reading.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

TV catch-up day

Lazy morning - hurrah! And then Lord H & I cleaned the flat in a frenzy of activity. Not like us at all really. The rest of my day has been spent doing a little more to "The Gifting" - I'm really struggling on the scene I'm on at the moment. I'm not quite sure what's going to happen with the snow-ravens, but maybe it'll be a test or series of tests my MC has to jump through. I'll have to see what the fingers end up typing.

I've also managed to catch up on most of the TV I've recorded over the week: Jane Eyre was good, very atmospheric; the second part of Stephen Fry's bipolar disorder programme was very good too - moving and thought-provoking. Good for him. And the York Minster people appear to have invited a gay trainee priest over for 6 weeks and then abandoned the poor bugger (sorry). Honestly, it's the height of rudeness - my heart went out to him. Still, from my experience of cathedrals, they're not the most welcoming of places. If he'd come to Hascombe, we would at least have met him at the station and given him a friendly face to stay with!!

And there've been lots of interesting discussions on the Writewords (http://www.writewords.org.uk) site. We've just formed a Teachers' Group - so I've joined hoping to get ideas and help for my UniSWriters' gang. I'm sure we can all help and inspire each other along the way - at least, that's the hope.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Haircut and night out in London

Hey, it's rare I actually get those two things to coincide - perhaps the universe is for me today. Or maybe I'll be rained and blowed on so much on my way to the station tonight that it won't make a fistful of difference. Hey ho. Still, right now, I'm looking quite chic - trust me on this one.

When I wasn't getting my hair cut, I've been editing and writing more of "The Gifting", sending out papers for next week's Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) meeting and writing a poem for the UniSWriters' group. I've put the latter up on the Writewords (http://www.writewords.org.uk) site for comment, so I'll see what people say. Talking of which, I had a lovely and very positive comment on Writewords for "The Gifting" - thanks, Sarah! Very much appreciated - just hope I can try to keep it up!

I did get rather cross with one of the topic threads on Writewords though - once again, people are saying that if a book is "good enough", then it will be published. Actually, bollocks, people! Quality is irrelevant, and many very good books don't get published - in reality, what's published is only what's deemed "commercially viable" and, believe me, that has sod all to do with quality.

This afternoon, I need to nip into Godalming to get some shopping and distribute flyers to Ottakar's (aka Waterstone's) for our upcoming Goldenford event there on 12 October. I'll also see if I can persuade the Library and the museum to take some. If there's time. After that, I'll be up to London to see Jane and to go to the Kandinsky exhibition at the Tate Modern, so all in all a very busy day - for me. Sometimes it's astonishing I'm still standing. But it'll be lovely to see Jane.

Today's nice things:

1. Haircut
2. The Writewords comment on "The Gifting"
3. Seeing Jane.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com

Golf day

Lord H took a day off today and we spent it at the World Championship golf day at The Grove club near Watford. Utterly fantastic - I got so close to Tiger Woods, Colin Montgomery (great smile, Colin!), Vijay Singh and, best of all, Jose Maria Olazabal (Mr Sexy Spaniard) that I could have touched them! Or at least spat at them, if I'd been so inclined. It was marvellous to see so much good play and so many beautiful swings. Only wish mine were a zillionth as good. We wandered round the course and saw all the big names. All very exciting.

I do feel rather guilty though that I haven't done any of the things I'd thought about doing today, such as distributing Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) events leaflets in Godalming, sorting out poetry to read for our Guildford Writers (http://www.guildfordwriters.net) book festival evening or even editing more of "The Gifting". Ah well, there's always tomorrow and the weekend.

Today's nice things:

1. Golf
2. More golf
3. Even more golf

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com

Counselling

Got a hell of a lot done at work today, and actually felt quite calm and not so low. Result, eh? Still tired though, but that's not too surprising. Had a lunchtime counselling session with Zoe, which was really very good indeed. I felt quite energised after it. We talked about the fact that I never feel I fit into the "girl" or "boy" slots in life, but am somewhere in between, simply being me. Bloody hell, but gender specifics are way overrated ...! If I had to make a choice, I'd say that inside I feel 75% boy and 25% girl, or maybe 65/35. Either way, welcome to the twilight zone. This might go some way towards explaining why if I write from the male point of view, I use "I", and if I write from the female point of view, I use "she". And in my dreaming I'm a man. Mostly. But hell, live with it, people. Quite honestly, it is what it is. Anyway, talking about this kind of stuff made me feel much more real. And that can only be for the good.

Was going to go golfing with Marian tonight, but the winter nights are drawing in, so we decided against it. What the heck happened to summer??

I've just finished Nicci French's "Catch Me When I Fall" - all about a woman with bipolar disorder. Great and page-turning stuff, but it's made me feel very edgy. I also enjoyed the fact that the second character gets a chunk to herself at the end, thus giving a different and equally exciting view of events.

Today's nice things:

1. Counselling
2. The Nicci French book
3. Work being all right.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Editing, and writers galore

A double entry today due to an editing frenzy yesterday (Monday 25 September). I was too busy doing the final editing to "A Dangerous Man" for Flame (http://www.flamebooks.com) to spare a moment for blogging. It was a strange experience too - I wrote the book about four years ago - yes, folks, it's taken that long to perfect and sell - and coming back to it now makes me realise I don't think I could write so intensely and with such darkness about art, sex and death again. It's an exhausting - almost carthartic - experience. But my main character's (Michael's) voice has such a strong grip on me that it's been like coming back into the clutches of an obsession or drug. Strange stuff but oddly enjoyable..

So, today (Tuesday 26 September), I've felt absolutely shattered all day and I've kept returning to Michael's voice and the things he says and feels. I definitely need some sleep.

Over the last couple of days, work hasn't been so bad either. I'm almost up to date with my minutes and the meetings I've been to have been all right. Which is good, as I'm not sure I could take anything complicated at the moment. God forbid! Also, today I've had UniSWriters, which was great, and I popped into Guildford Writers (http://www.guildfordwriters.net) for the first hour, which was also very good - before leaving to pursue my dream of an early night. There's still time, hurrah!

And my reprints of "Pink Champagne and Apple Juice" for Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) have arrived in time for our October events - thank goodness! Here's hoping I manage to sell some ...

I've just finished Clare Morrall's latest novel, "Natural Flights of the Human Mind". Stunning, gripping and the woman is a genius. I couldn't put it down - she does relationships so well. It was a pleasure to read and I'm looking forward to her next.

Today's nice things (yesterday counts too!):

1. Editing "A Dangerous Man"
2. UniSWriters
3. Guildford Writers' meeting.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com

Coming down with a cold

Decided to skip church today - they're resurrecting some old bishop to take the service who is probably a saint but should no doubt have been put out to pasture some time ago, and to cap it all they've got a confirmation as well. Frankly I can't be arsed. Besides, I'm coming down with a cold and not feeling so good, so a morning off is well overdue. So, instead, I chatted to the neighbour and sorted the cars out, and then Lord H and I had lunch at The Stag at Eashing. Good pub and great food, though the service is a little on the slow side of slow. That's the country for you ...

Some good news on the booksales front - Gary from Independent Authors (http://www.independentauthors.co.uk) has sold a copy of "Pink Champagne and Apple Juice" for me, so I've broken my duck for September. Huge thanks, Gary - you're a star!

This afternoon, I lazed around watching "Star Trek" and last week's video of "Ancient Rome". Looks like Nero was all fine and dandy until he went insane. Though no doubt the same could be said of any of us. Still, he carried a certain pizzazz with it all, which I warmed to. Tonight, I'll watch "Midsomer Murders" and video the first part of "Jane Eyre". I take style over substance any day.

This week's haiku:

A Reader's Life:
Poems for breakfast,
novels in the lunchtime lull,
short stories at night.

Today's nice things:

1. Not going to church
2. Lunch out
3. Selling a copy of "Pink Champagne and Apple Juice".

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Golfing

A lazy morning, followed by a mad rush round trying to get essential lunch shopping done (Lord H) and tidying the house (me). Then golf with Marian and Siegi, followed by lunch at ours (which explains the previous sentence). It was fun, but we didn't do hugely well - still, such is golf. At least the weather was good.

On the writing front, I was cheered by a comment on the Writewords (http://www.writewords.org.uk) site saying how much they loved my extract of "The Gifting", but brought down to earth by a strong (and probably justified) comment on the poem I currently have on the same site. Up one moment and down the next - welcome to the writing life, eh?

Post-golf, I'm absolutely shattered, so am hoping for a evening of TV and flopping. Right now, that sounds like bliss.

Today's nice things:

1. Golf (at least the good holes ...)
2. The Writewords novel comment.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

The Gifting continues ....

... but slowly. Still, managed a thousand words today, so am now up to 62,000. Over halfway through then. I think. Phew. It's an interesting journey - scenes are buzzing round my head, but at the moment I can't write them till I actually get to them in the text, as lots of other strange things are happening on the way. Such is the writing process, I suppose!

Last night's theatre - a Shared Experience version of "Orestes" - was superb. Gripping, dark, sexy and politically relevant. Honestly, SE can do no wrong. If they ever bring a production to your part of the country, for God's sake, go and see it. Top class theatre every time.

Was thrilled to receive a postcard this morning from Trish from church saying how much she enjoyed "Pink Champagne and Apple Juice" whilst she was on holiday and couldn't put it down. Thanks, Trish! It's this sort of response that makes it all worthwhile and keeps me slogging away. I'm more than grateful.

Popped into Godalming to stock up on lavender oil and herb teas. Goodness, how new age-y I'm becoming. I think they do some good though. Also managed to buy four very decent shirts from the Edinburgh Woollen Mill for only £11.00 the lot. Re-sult. Ah the joy of the sales. And I have to say that Godalming's EWM is the classiest one I've ever known and always well worth a visit. The stock is completely different and much better quality than other of the brand's outlets.

Managed to fit in a nap this afternoon while the rain hammered down. It's been like a monsoon out there today, though now (late afternoon), the sun has at last shown its face.

Have just finished Patricia Duncker's "Miss Webster and Cherif." Hell, what a disappointment from a writer I usually admire. This time, it's clunky, dull, the story doesn't start until Page 80 (when - at last! - Cherif turns up), and all the plot twists are squeezed into the last 20 pages. To my mind, it would have been better as a novella or long short story. Not one I recommend. Let's hope Duncker's next is back to form.

Today's nice things:

1. Trish's postcard
2. The Edinburgh Woollen Mill sale purchases
3. The Gifting.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Competition entry day

A late start to the morning, but eventually got down to doing my monthly competition entries. Have given up on short stories entirely now, but am still keeping up with the poetry round. I seem to do better there, in general. It took me ages to get together a haiku collection for the Snapshot Press competition, but the rest of it was fairly straightforward.

So a late lunch and then I squeezed in some more of "The Gifting" and popped in to see Gladys. This week she's happy but frail. Apparently she'd been thinking of me and then, scarily, I turned up. Good talent - I told her she ought to be thinking of nubile young men and see if it has the same effect. If she could bottle that skill, she'd make a fortune!

Tonight, Lord H and I are out at the theatre in Guildford to see "Orestes". Not many jokes there then. And terrible news about Richard Hammond of "Top Gear" - he's had a dreadful accident and is now seriously ill in hospital. I was really upset when I heard this morning - he's seems a genuinely nice guy. I hope and pray he'll be all right. Life's so bloody fragile.

Today's nice things:

1. The theatre trip
2. Getting my first haiku collection together, funnily enough.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Freshers' Week Day Three

And the last day of my working week, thank goodness. Though, having said that, it hasn't been so bad today. Library duties at the registration in the morning weren't great, but only an hour so not as bad as it could have been. And the students seemed brighter and chattier than yesterday (probably less exhausted ...), so that was okay. Later in the morning, we had two upset freshers in the office - I actually prefer this as I'm dealing with people in small, do-able numbers, rather than great and frightening swathes of them. Between us, Ruth and I managed to sort them out, with the help of tissues, fluffy pens and the use of my phone, so I think they were much calmer when they left. And, ye gods, I even felt humanly useful for once - so that was nice.

Lunchtime counselling with Zoe was great. I talked about how depressed I was last week, and the lowness I feel this week, which was helpful - and had a long discussion about how I think I ought to live more "organically", from the inside, rather than trying to follow structures which other people use or impose on me. Talking about this really got my energy levels fizzing, so I seriously think it's something I ought to move towards doing, or doing more often. I'm going to try to do things I enjoy, rather than what everyone anticipate or expects. Hell, sometimes I just want to be free to be myself - and I think it's a journey worth taking.

This afternoon was the first of this academic year's meetings to minute. And today it was the Nursery Management Group with scary Charmian. Actually she was quite smiley, so maybe she's warming towards me at last. Still haven't got an effing clue what they're going on about and I've zilch interest in children, but I got most of it down and hope it makes sense when I get the first draft done.

Things in the office between the boss and me seem to be better as well, which is something of a relief. I'm still looking around to see what's out there, but the edge of desperation has eased. Thank God. And tonight, it's TV and flopping. Bliss.

Today's nice things:

1. Counselling
2. Helping the upset students in the office
3. Getting Freshers' Week over with.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Freshers' Week Day Two

Ah, the hell of the Library registration. I did two sessions today of covering our small Student Care Services stall - one in the morning and one in the afternoon - and I really don't like doing it. I'm not a people person. So I put on my plastic smile (which is rather worn out really) and tried not to make too much eye contact. Doing this sort of stuff only confirms that I'm a back-room girl, through and through. Damn shame I have another session of this tomorrow. Curses. Still, the one good thing is that I've found out how to make the wretched DVD and a PowerPoint presentation work on the plasma screen. I am now technologically empowered. Hurrah.

Thank the Lord for my lunchtime reflexology session. Bliss as usual and I drifted off to sleep a couple of times. Afterwards I felt quite balanced. For a while ...

And the DVD story continues ... this morning, we had one session where the bloody thing wouldn't work in a room and one session where the students forgot to turn up. Apparently they might turn up on Friday, but who knows?

The one good thing about today was coming home to Lord H - such a relief. It's the best part of my day. Ooh, and my publishers (http://www.flamebooks.com) have contacted me again - so hope springs up once more. It was only to do with holidays and publicity though, damn it - when what I really want to know about is publication dates and finishing the editing. Maybe one day they'll let me know - in the meantime, we plod on ...

Today's nice things:

1. Getting the working day over with
2. Coming home to Lord H
3. Flame contacting me.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Freshers' Week Day One

The beginning of the Week from Hell. But actually it hasn't been too bad - yet. Both our talks today went well, and the damn DVD worked. Hurrah. The campus is stuffed with bright young people holding maps and looking puzzled. 'Twas ever thus. It'll take them six months to get used to the layout. It's not intuitive. Welcome to the adult world, people ...

Gave blood this afternoon - and for once I didn't have to take the extra test as I wasn't borderline anaemic. Phew. Must be all those dried apricots I'm eating. Better keep it up then.

At home, Lord H has bought me "Psychologies" magazine - as it has an article to help me find out if I'm depressed or just low. Actually, reading it made me feel worse, as I couldn't tell which I was. Do I have flashes of contentment or joy, or not? Haven't a bloody clue, Mr Smug Article Writer. You tell me. I think I'll put the whole mag to one side for a while - though I usually think it's okay, I simply don't have the energy at the moment.

Have just finished Lucy Ellman's "Doctors and Nurses" - bizarre in the extreme, but I got used to it in the end, though I was skipping through it rather than reading in depth. She's probably a genius, or a rather good scam artist, but I wouldn't want to read another one.

Today's nice things:

1. The chocolate biscuits and chat at the blood doner van
2. Being at home and being able to flop
3. Getting Day One over.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Church and a lazy day

Church not too bad this morning - only felt like escaping two or three times, which wasn't as many as I'd been expecting. I even liked a couple of the hymns, though I phased out when it came to saying (and actually meaning) any of the non-sung words. The nice stand-in vicar came (Robin Roe), who's really sweet and asks questions about non-religious stuff (thank the Lord), but my goodness his sermons are long. Lord H was sure there were at least three sermons in there. Today was heaven and hell, so I tried not to listen - too depressing by far. But I'm sorry he's not turning up till Christmas Eve now - I'll miss him. Had a couple of nice conversations after church too, which was a boost.

Was terribly noble and washed the car. How wonderfully suburban I'm getting. Sod it, who cares anyway? Spent the afternoon catching up on my video mountain, including "Far From Heaven" (classy film about the 50s) and "Afterlife" (great stuff with a good twist). Tonight, it's "Midsomer Murder", so my TV day will be complete. Thank God for television - it stops you thinking.

This week's haiku:

As a special treat
today we drown in chocolate:
truffles; candy; fudge.

Today's nice things:

1. The nice vicar
2. The nice post-church conversation
3. TV.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Haslemere Chocolate Day

A morning spent cleaning - not Lord H's or my favourite task but, hell, it's got to be done. Then an early lunch and a visit to the Chocolate Day of Haslemere's food festival (http://www.haslemere.com/foodfestival) - bliss. Stocked up on chocolate buttons, chocolate swizzle sticks (for melting into hot milk), chocolate ginger, and chocolate dried pineapples. Also sampled chocolate hazelnut tart and chocolate flapjacks. I think we've done our bit for the local food trade this week ... And a trip round the town took us to a sausage tasting (also part of the foof festival), so never say that Surrey doesn't know how to enjoy itself.

Late afternoon, I caught up with Star Trek, and then tonight it's the last episode of "How do You Solve a Problem like Maria?" (http://www.bbc.co.uk/maria) - I really hope Connie wins, but I'll take Helena as second choice if I have to. But please, please don't let it be Siobhan - I can't stand her! What am I going to do Saturday nights now it's over? Oooh nooo!

Today's nice things:

1. Chocolate
2. Star Trek
3. Maria School

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Clarins day

Clarins massage and facial today - bliss. Hell, I deserve it. Bought some De-Stress herbal remedy from Holland & Barrett to see if I can knock this feeling low all the time phase into touch - the concoction is stronger than my usual Quiet Life pills, so I can only hope ... But if it doesn't work, I might try some St John's Wort, even though there's such mixed opinions about it. To be honest, I'll try anything (well, almost anything) at this stage which doesn't involve having to ask the doctor for anti-depressants. Here's hoping ...

This afternoon, I had a long nap, which was also bliss. And much-needed. Am planning to get some writing on "The Gifting" done this evening, while Lord H is out at the village hall gardening presentation. Goodness, how very "Midsomer" we're getting around here. Though in a less murderous sense, one hopes!

Today's nice things (I've decided to list any I find up to three, rather than always having to do three):

1. Clarins treatments
2. Sleeping.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

A slightly better day - but only slightly

More problems with our pre-induction week at work - but Monique and I rushed around to get things sorted and we just about managed it. I'm hoping the students didn't notice the join. Still felt sore about all the rubbish stuff earlier in the week, but I had a good talk with the boss later on, and I think we both feel better about it now. Phew.

Didn't get anywhere in the placings for the Harry Bowling Award, damn it, so am really disappointed about that. I'm fed up with getting shortlisted and nothing more. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Right now, I really hate the publishing world, and I'm not sure why I'm bothering with it. Not only that, but no sign of that £100 cheque for being on the shortlist either, which they promised. Hmm. Even that would have been something to show for the trip to London.

As you can see, I'm feeling low. In general. I might finish off "The Gifting" and then not write anything for a while. Unless someone shows any real interest in any of my writing. At all. It's just bringing me down, and I really can't hack the pressure or the expectations. When, in the end, the result is nothing. Doesn't seem much point in it really, if what I produce isn't going to get read.

Could do with a night in tonight, to be honest. But it's the works do out and I said I'd go. Hope I can sneak away early though. That would be nice.

The one nice thing about today is that Colin complemented me on my reading aloud skills - he said the piece from "Pink Champagne and Apple Juice" was very enjoyable. That made me feel better for a short while - thanks, Colin.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Harry Bowling Novel Prize

Day in lieu today, as this afternoon I have to go up to London to (a) meet my agent (http://www.sff.net/people/john-jarrold/about.html) - phew, at last! - and (b) attend the Harry Bowling Novel Prize (http://www.harrybowlingprize.net) to see if "Maloney's Law" can do more than its usual "shortlist only" showing. To be honest, I'm not holding out much hope, if past experience is anything to go by. And, needless to say, I'm shitting bricks although I know I should be saying what a fun evening it will be and how useful it will be to my career in that people will get to know my name and what I look like. And might therefore remember me when they come to look at their precious future publications lists. Hmm. Some hope. Still shitting bricks though ... And I'm wired up about meeting John Jarrold too - as I hate going to meet people when I don't know what they look like. And I hate having to walk into strange pubs to meet them. Hey ho. Will have to take a calming pill or two fairly soon.

This morning was nice though - Jane Hide came for tea and chat, and we did a good old catch-up. Lovely to see her again. Now the children are both either at or nearly at school, she's going to be doing some product selling for a beauty firm (http://www.nutrimetics.co.uk). Looks like good stuff, Jane - so go for it!

Managed to get about 500 words of "The Gifting" done before I started to worry about which train to catch. So have stopped now, as I can't concentrate. Am also dreading having to do an extra day at work tomorrow, when I've been having such a crap week. Groan. How I hate it when my routine is messed up.

Have just finished Sue Miller's "The World Below". Not one of her best offerings, I think, but still worthwhile reading. Rather too meandering for me, and I lost the point very early on. An interesting writer though, and I've enjoyed some of her others.

Today's three nice things:

1. Jane's visit
2. Meeting my agent
3. Going to a post London literary do - that'll show 'em!

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Double entry today

Which is somehow fitting, bearing in mind Lord H's profession (accountancy). Yesterday - 11 September 2006 - was our 13th wedding anniversary. Work was hell (of which more later - grrrr...), but anniversary was lovely. Presents of books, a CD and flowers, including roses (my favourite), topped off nicely with a bottle of pink champagne, and "Dalziel and Pascoe" on TV. Perfect. And we're a teenager now. Hurrah!

Today was further hell at work. I've been working my socks off and my heart out to get these bloody induction presentation talks sorted out. Two things went wrong yesterday (neither of which it turns out were our fault), which in my opinion I dealt admirably with - fire-fighting, supporting and encouraging the troops, apologising to and soft-soaping those who needed it - and generally getting the show back on the road, with sterling support from our team of crack presenters. All this when the boss was out. The moment he comes back, he sends out an email saying exactly the same things as in my earlier email (which he'd already seen ...) as if he and only he was capable of coping with the disasters. Well wipe my bottom and call me a monkey then. Bloody hell - words fail me!! Not only that, but he takes the time to question, criticise and stare at me blankly, but is there even one word of thanks? Is there hell. Now, I may not be the world's greatest manager, but when I had staff, when the shit hit the fan I at least knew how to say thank you and make them feel (a) supported and (b) better. Which I think makes me a million times better than him right now. Thanks a lot - for nothing.

So today, I'm feeling very close to throwing the whole thing up in the air and (a) seeing if he can hack it, (b) telling him there's no way in hell I'm doing this again next year if that's the level of support I get, and (c) looking for another job. Perhaps the time to move on is beckoning - a fact only made clearer by today's thorough mis-management of me. Shame, but there it is. As and when I get something else, it will be a huge relief not to have to pretend I care (Fact: I don't - hell, it's just a job, after all. I do it to the best of my ability, but I don't see it as important. It's not writing ...).

But nice things that happened today include the Tesco's till-lady recognising me and knowing how much money I was likely to ask for - goodness, I'm so predictable, but hey that's service! And lunchtime reflexology with the new lady, Emily, was wonderful - so relaxing I drifted off twice. It provided a much-needed respite from the shit of the rest of the day.

I should have been going to Guildford Writers this evening, but the day's been too hellish and I don't have the emotional energy for it. So a night in in front of the TV calls me. Thank God.

Today's three nice things:

1. Tesco lady's banter
2. Reflexology
3. Coming home to Lord H.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Antiques shopping

No church today, as Sue promised to cover the 8am service - hurrah! - and it looks like she'll be covering sacristan duties until Christmas when it's apparently hoped to get a part-time verger to do the setting-up etc. It's good not to have the responsibility any more, although I've said I can do the stuff if there's a gap. I'm sure Sue and I can play it by ear and as it comes (double cliche moment - hurrah again!).

So, this morning, Lord H and I did some antiques browsing in the Farnham shops - some lovely bedside cabinets, but the ones we really liked were about £800, so rather out of our price range. Still, as we've been searching for bedside cabinets for 13 years, we can look a little longer ... maybe it will be a retirement present for ourselves.

A late lunch, and I slobbed in front of "Crocodile Dundee" this afternoon - great stuff, with a fantastically satisfying ending. Love it. This evening is more TV heaven - thank the Lord for crime dramas, but it's annoying that "Dalziel and Pascoe" is on opposite "Midsomer Murders". Looks like "MM" will be for the video again. And talking of TV, I am now seriously hooked on "How do You Solve a Problem like Maria?". Go, Connie, go! - I soooo hope you get it, gal, though I do have a soft spot for back-from-the-bottom-again Helena. Surely all this must count as research? Hmm ... Though, hell, why not? I work like a trooper normally. It's good to relax.

Lord H and I were talking about politics recently (strangely!) and he commented that the more the weeks go by, the more Blair is becoming something like Miss Haversham. I can just see him in 10 years' time, still hanging onto his dreams and surrounded by the trappings of power from years gone by. Now there's an idea for a story ...

This week's haiku:

Your sliced tomatoes
a row of Tiller Girls.
I know where your mind is.

Today's three nice things:

1. A lazy morning
2. "Crocodile Dundee"
3. A lazy evening.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Articles - publication and commission

Some good news today - the lovely people at Independent Authors (http://www.independentauthors.co.uk) have asked me for an article for their October magazine. Have decided to focus on what it's like to be both a writer and a publisher, and they seem happy with that. Have managed to get a first draft (c1,500 words) done this morning, but have some facts to check and also the read-throughs, so I'll see how it feels tomorrow.

And there's a piece about me in this month's Writers' News Magazine (http://www.writersnews.co.uk), so that felt really good. Hell, it's always nice to be in print, and it was a good article - phew!

Everything stopped at lunchtime when Star Trek came on - the real world, don't you know. All that we see around us now is simply a holodeck illusion. My real life is up there in space. Surely. Later on this afternoon, I'll do a Sainsbury's shop - to save shopping on Monday (which will be our 13th anniversary - Lord H & I are a teenager at last!). And tonight, it's "How Do You Solve a Problem like Maria?" on TV, and I'm completely hooked. Connie! It has to be Connie - please!

A perfect Saturday.

Today's three nice things:

1. The article commission
2. The Writers' News article - high five!
3. Star Trek.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Traffic jam Friday

A morning of traffic jams today. Got stuck on the road from Farnham into Godalming for half an hour. Everything just stopped. When I finally got to the point where the jam was, I realised it was a 3 car accident (though it didn't look too bad) and the police were doing their best to clear it off the road. A few minutes after that, I got stuck again on the Charterhouse Road - this time because two large lorries were attempting to pass in opposite directions on a road not originally made with the demands of big business in mind. It's going to be hell, should they ever give the go-ahead to the bloody quarry. We'll have lorries as big as Manhattan battling for supremacy every five minutes. Anyway, cue (or queue?) ten minutes of panting and puffing, edging and squeezing before the man in the smaller lorry gave in and had to get out to give direct instructions. At least that's what I think he was doing. Shades of Mr Bean ... Still, at last they sorted it out and I finally made it home. Phew!

At home, I got stuck into The Gifting again. Another 1000 words done and, this time, there was a lot of ideas for other scenes and maybe even a big near-finale set piece buzzing round my head. It's getting exciting again - hurrah! After that, I popped into Godalming (roads clear, thank the Lord) to stock up on lavender oil. Peace, man. But not for long, as gloom and severe pissed-offness reared its head - as I went into the dreaded Surrey Bookshop and spoke to Mrs Unhelpful to get three of our Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) books back, as she hasn't been arsed to pay for them (though she has paid for Pink Champagne). Apparently she can't be arsed to try to sell them either, as when I asked for them back, she delved around behind the counter and brought them all out, including Champers - which I forced her to hang onto. Honestly, I ask you!! If she could possibly stir herself from her sluggish literary daze to put books on the shelves, she might be having more success than she is. My loyalties are now entirely with Ottakar's opposite - something I thought I'd never say! - but, really, up yours, madam.

Ooh, and Irene is doing a fantastic display of posters for Goldenford books in preparation for our October event in Barclays, Guildford. They look superb - well done, Irene! I've also written a comic occasional poem today - for the friend of a friend's hen night (are you keeping up?) - I rather enjoyed flexing the poetic muscles again. Hell, sometimes I can still do it.

By the way, last night's play in Guildford - The French Lieutenant's Woman - was utterly, utterly fantastic. Best thing I've seen for ages in the theatre. Classy and deep, with comic touches. Superb scenery and even better acting. It's made me want to rush out and buy the book - to see if it's as good as the play! Hmm, something wrong with the order there, I fear - but, hell, at least it's made me want to buy it.

Tonight, it's wine, pizza, garlic bread, ice cream & TV heaven. Bliss.

Today's three nice things:

1. The writing
2. Pizza & ice cream
3. Irene's posters.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com

The Gifting continues

Aha! At last I'm able to get down to doing some of The Gifting again. Simon is now in the Kingdom of the Air, so I feel the two of us are moving along a little more. Something of a relief really. So another 1000 words done. Also did the minutes from Tuesday's Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) meeting and sent them out. Jane Hide rang and we caught up with each other's news, which was good - she's coming round for coffee next Wednesday morning. Which is the same day that I'm off up to London in the afternoon to attend the Harry Bowling Prize (http://www.harrybowlingprize.net) ceremony. Would be lovely to win with the apparently unsellable Maloney's Law, but I'm too much of a hardened cynic by now to expect such blessings. But the good news is that next Wednesday I finally get to meet my agent (http://www.sff.net/people/john-jarrold/about.html) as he's taking me for drink before the knees-up. Hurrah!

Popped into see Gladys this afternoon - very vague again today, and we had the same conversations two or three times. Maybe she's more fragile in the heat? Then again, aren't we all? And she doesn't do badly for 90.

This evening, Lord H and I are off to see "The French Lieutenant's Woman" in Guildford Theatre. Not many laughs there, I fear, but it will save reading the book ...!

Today's three nice things:

1. Getting some writing done
2. Speaking to Jane
3. The theatre.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com

Counselling session

A busy, and sometimes frantic, day - full of sound and fury. I have an urgent new leaflet crisis, which is supposed to be resolved by next Friday (ha!), but I doubt it will be. Still, at least it gave me a focus to the day, which was a pleasant change. Nothing like a good crisis, eh ...

And I had my first counselling session for 3 weeks with Zoe. Goodness, how I've missed being able to talk things through. I feel as if August has been a complete blank, and I've found it hard to feel anything at all, even when supposedly nice things were happening. Almost as if there's an enormous blockage between where I am and where the feeling is. It was good to hack my way through it all - or at least some of it - and whilst I was rather upset at the end of my hour, hell at least it was a bloody feeling, so I'm not complaining. At some stage, I need to be able to find a space in life where I can express this sort of thing outside the actual counselling sessions, and I'm not used to doing that - or admitting I might even need to do that - so I suspect it's going to be a long, hard process. Ho hum, but I should be used to those by now.

At home, Lord H and I watched a video of "Midsomer Murders", which was great, and provided much-needed slob-out time. I also managed to have a good chat with him, which made us both feel better, I think. Lord H also thought having a holiday in August was entirely strange - as if it wasn't happening at all - so it feels good not to be alone in that opinion.

Have just finished reading Sue Miller's "While I was Gone." Slow, but somehow electrically gripping. An in-depth portrait of a marriage in crisis. And she writes like a dream. I shall work my way through her backlist as soon as I can and wait in anticipation for the next offering.

Today's three nice things:

1. Counselling
2. Midsomer Murders
3. Chatting with Lord H.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Goldenford meeting

A long day at work. God, how long it seemed. I did get quite a lot done, but it just dragged. Another walk round the lake at lunchtime, but all the benches were taken, so I couldn't sit down this time. Admired the new exhibition in the Lewis Elton gallery instead. Shame the pictures I liked were all Not For Sale. Mind you, all the others were way into the thousands, so goodness knows who might buy them on campus!

The Writewords (http://www.writewords.org.uk) site is having a discussion on agents and publishers. That dreadful and completely meaningless word, "publishable", came up again. Ye gods. They should strike "publishable" from the dictionary - half the stuff published by the mainstream guys these days is unadulterated crap, so it's certainly no guide to quality. Let's get rid of the word entirely, chaps, and also let's ditch the idea that agents and publishers know f*** all about quality writing. They're only in it to sell what is deemed currently fashionable. It's got nothing to do with quality, believe me.

Tonight, I'm minuting the monthly Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) meeting. Hell, now there's a publisher who knows what good stuff is! And that, of course, is because we're a small independent, and not a mainstream f***er. In my opinion.

Today's three nice things:

1. The art exhibition
2. The smoked salmon starter we had for dinner
3. The fact that - somehow - the working day finally came to a close ...

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com

A present of crystals

The usual agony of Monday morning arrived too soon - as ever. It was a real struggle getting to lunch time (after noon, somehow it's as if a weight is lifted from my shoulders), but then I suppose it is my first Monday back at work since being on holiday. The payback from bank holidays indeed ...

Had a lovely walk round campus at lunch, and sat for a while near the lake admiring the ducks and moorhens. It's nice to stop and do something without purpose once in a while. During the afternoon, Julia popped in and kindly gave me a present of three crystals - one green, one red and green, and the third a shiny slate grey. They're really lovely - so thank you, Julia! All together, they're supposed to help me be centred, balanced, in tune with the real me and calm. Which sounds great! As per instructions, I washed them when I got in and am keeping them in my handbag, to see how things go. I should be a new woman the next time a Monday turns up - here's hoping ...!

Not much happened this evening - except I tackled the recycling and put it out for collection tomorrow. I am now the recycling queen of the house. And, later, it'll be the second part of "Dalziel and Pascoe" - I was gripped by Part One last night, so am hoping for a rip-roaring conclusion.

Today's three nice things:

1. Getting to the end of Monday
2. The three lovely crystals
3. Dalziel and Pascoe.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Twelfth Sunday after Trinity, but who cares?

Struggled through church today wishing I was still in bed. The high point was when one of the light bulbs exploded just after the Nicene Creed and woke everyone up. Nobody was hurt but it did provide the only excitement of the morning. Even the hymns were long and dreary. Afterwards, I did my chores and slipped away as soon as possible to get a much-needed nap (I was up during the night feeling totally wired - way too much coffee yesterday. Ye gods, I won't do that again ...) while Lord H went off to practise on the range with his new golf club.

This afternoon, I've caught up with yesterday's Star Trek, and plan to ring Mother and then have an evening doing as little as possible. I might do some writing of "The Gifting" but only if the mood takes me - we'll see. I should have cleaned the car too but, frankly, I can't be arsed. I'm fed up with doing everything I'm supposed to do. Maybe it's time to kick ass on the bloody routine. Here's hoping, eh?

And I'm dreading tomorrow and already getting the Sunday night depression - God, I hate Mondays. They're crap.

This week's haiku:

At your funeral
a butterfly danced; not you
but something close.

Today's three nice things:

1. The lightbulb explosion
2. Star Trek
3. My glass of lunchtime sherry.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Day in Oxford

Lord H and I had a day in Oxford today - just to treat ourselves. The city of dreaming spires lived up to its name - or maybe that should be dreaming towers? A couple of the colleges were open so we could have a nose around quadrangles and stuff. It's certainly another world away from the hustle and bustle of normal city life. We ended up doing our own walking tour, and feel we've only really skated the surface. There's a lot to unpack, and we'll definitely be making a return visit or two. The highlight of the day was the touring choir singing and giving us a history of the songs they chose in the University Church of St Mary the Virgin. Glorious and completely unexpected - we stayed for a while.

Have just finished Patrick Gale's "The Facts of Life". Goodness me, but it's a novel of two halves. The first half has real people in it, whom I really cared about. But the second half was crass and completely unbelievable. Oh no, not someone dying of AIDS again - per-lease. Surely in the 90s (when the book was published), this was still old-fashioned. It felt as if Gale was just using characters as ciphers to showcase his beliefs and they were as shallow as shit (is that a phrase? Hell, I think it should be) - and, honestly, his understanding of family dynamics in terms of siblings and sex is once again non-existent. I think he should (a) simply have stuck to the first part of the novel, which would have stood perfectly well on its own, and (b) not write about brother/sister stuff again - you just can't cut it, matey! Trust me on this one!

Today's three nice things:

1. Oxford colleges
2. The unexpected choir
3. Putting down the disappointing Gale.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Eileen's funeral

Attended the funeral of Eileen White (Brian's mother) in Kent today. The first funeral of one of the parents of my Durham friends since I came to know them. She was strongly Catholic, so we had the "full monty", which was very well done indeed. Interesting too - I learnt a lot more about her than I'd known before! Such is the world of the funeral, I think ... During the service, a red admiral butterfly got into the church and fluttered around - rather fitting, somehow, and Eileen would have liked it.

At home, had a much-needed nap, and also sent out the first few chapters of "Maloney's Law" to new press, Five Lines in the Sand. We live in hope, eh? No energy for actual novel writing today, but I didn't really expect there would be. One of my UniSWriters friends, Julia, tells me she's found a green crystal with a streak of red in it, which might have my name on it - will look forward to viewing said beast once I return to work next week! I think I might call it George ...

Oh, and I sent my first fresh (ie not one I'm answering) text today - thanks, Julia! - apparently it worked. A new era begins.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk