Battling through to a kind of finish ...

A rather singleminded focus day today, but here's this morning's meditation:

Meditation 215

He offers
not money

but healing.
Miraculous afternoon.

Though sometimes I wonder
what a lifelong

lame beggar
might do

in the years
that followed after.


For most of today, I'm simply been striding determinedly through the edit of Hallsfoot's Battle, attempting to change scene viewpoints and make the final battle scenes less fragmented. Though I have to say that the nature of battle is in itself pretty fragmented, I would imagine. I've typed and groaned, and muttered and typed, and muttered some more. In between pacing the flat like a mad goat and wondering where the hell the chocolate is. So no great changes there from a normal writing day then. I'm pleased to say however that I've completed the first tranche of the editing process, and I shall attempt to start the nitty-gritty part of shifting things around in a more detailed way tomorrow. Onward and downward, eh.

I must admit though that I've had great waves of existential despair and wondering why the hell I'm bothering - after all, nobody's leapt back to me with amazement in the fifteen months it's been doing the rounds to say they desperately want to publish The Gifting, so who on earth is going to want the second in a trilogy? In fact, publishers haven't even bothered to reject it, not even to the agent. They've just ignored it entirely. Really, I begin to wonder if I'm actually invisible. So, I have two very small publishers that I've submitted The Gifting to directly, and if I hear nothing by the end of the year, then I'll self-publish. If that happens, then I don't think I'll actually submit Hallsfoot's Battle to anyone. It's really not worth the pain and terrible silence, to my mind. One must consider one's mental health, when all's ... err ... written and done.

In the middle of all this, I've also got rid of two dead wasps and one live one (where the hell do they come from, the evil beasts??...) so huge applause for me and my extraordinary courage. Not sure I have the guts to deal with another one if it turns up though. If it does, I will have to hide sobbing in a cupboard and wait for Lord H to come home. I also suspect that as the two dead wasps were young ones and the living one was very dopey that there's a nest somewhere about coming to its natural end. Thank the Lord.

Tonight, Lord H and I are off to the theatre to see Strictly Murder - which, whilst probably not being strong on laughs, does at least look as if it might take my mind off my writing disappointments, hurrah.

Today's nice things:

1. Poetry
2. Editing
3. Dead wasps
4. Theatre.

Anne Brooke - last woman standing, possibly
Painting from Life - art and death: what could be nicer?

Eyebrows and operas

Had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine yesterday, who'd been to a Chinese healer and had had a face reading. Apparently, he'd spent one-and-a-half hours reading her eyebrows. One-and-a-half hours!!! I mean: weird, or what?? Especially as the friend in question has eyebrows that are barely visible, even though she doesn't pluck them. It appears that such eyebrows mean that you're the sort of person who only does one thing at a time and can't multi-task well. Bloody hell, I could have told her that in one-and-a-half minutes, and done it for free too. Is New Age healing disappearing up its own arse or am I in the twilight zone??

And I'm sure if I had an eyebrow reading, they'd have to spend one-and-a-half days on me as my eyebrows are of the Dennis Healey/Helena Bonham-Carter variety and have to be smoothed down every morning with water and a strong comb. I'm constantly plucking the damn things too - it's amazing I can see at all really. But at least I know where to place the blame for my obsessive multi-tasking orientation - it's all in my bloody eyebrows. Allegedly ...

This morning, I've not done much - though Lord H has nipped into Godalming to ransack the shops and bring the buffalo home. I've watched my video of "New Tricks" - which was great, especially as it had a truly sexy guest actor in, who was Sandra Pullman's love interest. Ye gods, but that was some seriously hot totty - I hope to God it's the start of a long-term relationship. That'll put a smile on my face for sure.

Oh, and I've just finished reading Tomas Transtromer's latest poetry collection, The Deleted World. It was okay, I suppose, though not a patch on his utterly marvellous prose poems - he's a master of that genre. Still, it did have two poems, in particular, which made me stop breathing for a moment or two, so I'm glad I bought it for those alone.

This afternoon, Lord H and I are off to the first of our Glyndebourne (http://www.glyndebourne.com) operas - we're seeing Verdi's "Macbeth", which we haven't seen before, so that should be interesting. I have to say that "Macbeth" is one of my all-time favourite plays. I love all that evil and trauma and a good man gone wrong stuff - just my sort of thing, really. So it will be good to see the opera version. We're not taking a picnic, but have booked a table in one of the restaurants instead - which is lucky as it's the rainy season once more here in the shires. Then again, when is it not?...

Oh, and I've had another rejection for Maloney's Law - from Waywiser Press, which didn't surprise me much as they never ever take anything I offer them. Bastards. I won't bother again. They're obviously too much up their own bottoms to know good stuff when they see it. I always see them as being rather mealy-mouthed too - something in the tone of their letters, I think.

And I fear the wasps might be back - I think we have a nest developing on the flat roof above the bedroom. Deep, deep sigh. We can see them flying in and out just over the window, the little stripy beasts. I'm hoping Lord H will go up and have a look sometime, so we can see how big a machete we might need. Honestly, if I ever ruled the world, I'd take every single wasp and destroy it. Without the use of an anaesthetic. That'd show the buggers! I am indeed so full of the milk of human kindness, not - I'm sure I would have got on with the Macbeths ...

Today's nice things:

1. Hot totty on "New Tricks"
2. Laughing at eyebrows
3. The Glyndebourne season - here at last!

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

V-Cs, wasps and saints days

St George’s Day today – so happy St George’s Day to all. I gather that Guildford is making a big thing of this, but as I’m not able to go to town in the lunch-hour (in any sense), then I can’t confirm anything. Lord H and I were wondering if we should re-enact the traditional slaying of the dragon by the good saint himself, but were unable to agree on which of us should take which part. So this mini-drama has, I’m afraid, had to be shelved for now. However, at work I have taken out my red, white and blue fluffy pen and given her (or possibly him, but it’s hard to say) pride of place. The saint will be smiling, I’m sure.

And of course it’s Shakespeare’s birthday, so great cause for rejoicing. And … um … his death day, so something more of a bummer really. My though, what a party that must have been. (Happy birthday, Will! Hope you like the present … Oh. Obviously you didn’t. Ah well …). But it does give a nice sense of completion, I have to say.

Oh, and I was cheered yesterday by realising that A Dangerous Man (http://www.flamebooks.com/) is actually on someone’s Wish List on Amazon – and can be seen at the Number Two position on “Jem’s” list here: http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/pdp/profile/ACEA95FQS1AVP - thanks, Jem! I’ve never been on anyone’s wish list before, and it’s a great honour. Talking of which, I find that ADM and I are not only in the University summer arts calendar today – advertising the forthcoming Book Circle discussion on 30 April – but are also on the University intranet news page - which I'm afraid you can't see, but bearing in mind the pic that may be a good thing!

This morning, I have finished off my updates to the Mentoring Handbook and have given it to Carol once more to check. We’ve decided that it will be best housed in A5 files, so we can easily update stuff on an ongoing basis – but you wouldn’t believe how few options the office supply people give on A5 paper or files. Hobson’s choice really. But it does give me a secretarial buzz to be looking at paper and wondering which I like best – almost makes me feel useful.

And I’ve decided to cancel next week’s Kinesiology (http://www.kinesiology4health.com/) appointment in Petersfield and not book any more at the moment, as I’m not sure that I’m learning anything else in my occasional visits - though Jane Phillips is a lovely woman and very good at what she does. It seemed like the right thing to do – and if I do want any further advice I can always make an appointment in Guildford, which is in any case much closer to home. So, I’ve written her a letter to thank her, as that seemed the right thing to do too.

This lunchtime, we had another talk from the Vice-Chancellor about the restructuring. Groan. Mind you, his super-fast delivery meant that I took very little in – which once again may indeed have been his purpose. We were all talked-at into submission by the time the questions slot came round. So I popped out for my lunchtime walk later than usual in order to get my brain functioning again – and saw that we have two baby coots on the lake. Or possibly moorhens, but I can’t tell. The mother had a white beak and the babies red beaks, so perhaps it’s our first cross-breeding? Who knows?

However, it’s not all good news and caviare, I’m afraid – an online friend of mine emailed me today to say she hadn’t really enjoyed poor old ADM at all, the reasons being because it just didn’t gel for her and because she thought I’d left too much of Michael’s traumas until the end. In addition she felt he had much more to say than I’d allowed, and it should have been far darker and more violent. This came as quite a punch (which probably only goes to show what a pathetically sensitive sad git I am, I’m sure …), partly because it’s my first bad review and partly because it was someone I was utterly convinced would like it. A lot. I also felt gutted at the comment that I hadn’t given Michael enough of a voice, especially when I’d felt I’d really gone to the depths with him, and back again. I know she’s being nice and is obviously perfectly entitled to a reaction, but I must admit it hurts. However, a wry smile (of sorts) was raised when I read the comment that she hoped this wouldn’t upset me. Um, I’m only human! Still one very stiff gin later and I’m slowly unfurling. A little.

Tonight, Lord H is out at theology, and I’m going to attempt to start my last scene in The Gifting, even though I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing and am scared to death by it. It really feels like I’ve bitten off far, far more than I can actually chew and, however I write the ending, it’s going to be pants. I simply don’t feel that I can end Simon’s story in the way he deserves and that any of the cats I can pull out of the bag now won’t be any bigger or any fluffier than the cats I’ve pulled out before, as the story’s gone along. Bummer. Again. In all of my other novels (well, most of them anyway …), I’ve known as I approached it what the ending would be – but I’m going to be spitting into a vacuum for this one, I fear. Boy, does this writer have cold feet about it – my toes are barely hanging on. Still, this isn’t the spirit that won (or indeed lost) the empire, so I’ll just have to grit my teeth and slog on. Grinning wildly …

And my 55 word fiction, “When the phone rang” has won the Bird and Moon (http://www.birdandmoon.com/55words/) Readers’ Choice award for February (hurrah!) and can be found here: http://www.birdandmoon.com/55words/readerschoice.html - so that’s cheered me greatly.

Oh, and I’ve had my first real battle with a wasp. I was doing the recycling when that terrible humming began in the hallway and I realised I was trapped outside the flat with no phone and no means of alerting Lord H who was having a quick bath prior to theology. I did try the neighbours but they weren’t in, so I couldn’t ring from theirs. So I had to wait 15 minutes for Lord H to finish his bath and wonder where I was. Lucky he noticed, eh! Still, he despatched the evil striped beast with his usual finesse and I could come home again. Phew. Damn lucky it wasn’t raining either …

And thank goodness there’s “New Tricks” on TV later – just the light relief I need, I suspect.

Today’s nice things:

1. Being on an Amazon wish list
2. The double University advertising splash
3. The 55 word award.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com/
http://www.goldenford.co.uk/

Counselling, virtual worlds and a wasp battle

Had to get up at a non-writers time today (ie before 9am - ye gods, how will I survive the length of the day?...) in order to get to my Counselling appointment this morning. We talked about families and church. So no change there then. But I have now got to the point when I realise that, for the moment, I'm not going to go back to St Peter's. And I'm not looking for another CofE church to replace them either. Hell, it feels like a decision, and it also feels as if I'm finally - at least in one small part of life - attempting to be me and make my own choices. Rather than attempting to please everyone else and do what is expected. I may well go to the local Quaker meeting in Godalming this Sunday, but it will depend on how I feel on the day. We'll see. It is interesting though that last week I did finally get round to opening the bumph the Quakers sent me a couple of months ago. The envelope has been lurking at the side of the sofa for so long that I was starting to forget about it entirely. But it's open now, and even partially read. Again, we'll see.

Kunu's parting shot this morning was to say that I should look into enjoying more in life, rather than being hung up with achieving lots. She's said it before, I know, but it doesn't come easily. Maybe my achievement conveyor-belt lifestyle is what's stopping me being me, properly at least. Hmm, another thought to ponder a while. I fear. Anyway, whilst in town, I mooched around Marks & Spencer for a while, wondering where all the lovely things they show us on TV are actually kept, and failing to find them. Asking an assistant is way too much commitment. But I did find some nice t-shirts for £5, and in a 3-for-2 offer, so may well pop back in on Saturday to make real-live purchases. If it comes under my new enjoyment quota, that is.

At home, I've typed up more of the current scene from The Gifting onto the computer. And I know where that part of the book is going now, so that's clarified things for me. Just have to write the ruddy stuff really. Once again, a slower writing day today, but it's - hell - enjoyable.

I've also broken my one last connection with St Peter's; I've cancelled my standing order to them, emailed the church treasurer to tell him this (though I don't expect any reply, as these days it seems that neither church people nor my old university set have the courtesy to answer any of my missives any more. At least not in ways I can understand, bitch bitch!...). In its place, I've sent off a form to give regular payments to the Yvonne Arnaud theatre (http://www.yvonne-arnaud.co.uk) in Guildford. Well, I've worked out that I get far more enjoyment from the theatre than I do from the church, so what the hell, eh.

This afternoon, I paid Gladys a short visit - she was worrying about dandelions in the garden and a small fallen tree, but has a man coming on Monday to sort it out. I'm always a great approver of men who come to sort things out. A wonderful and dying breed. Sadly. Also, I was incredibly brave (for me) as there was a nasty looking wasp in her living room whilst we were talking, and I managed to (a) not scream and run sobbing from her house, and (b) get rid of it through the window for her. Really, I'm astonished at myself. It's probably my Courage Quota for the month. Maybe even the year. And please God don't let there be the swarms of wasps there were last year - I really can't stand it! It's like being invaded. In my own home too. Damn it.

Ooh, and Flame Books (http://www.flamebooks.com) have joined Myspace (http://www.myspace.com/flamebooks) and sent me a Friends invite. Thanks, Sean! Much appreciated, and welcome to the strange virtual world we all dwell in these days. Sadly though, so far I seem to be Sean's only friend, so I hope his social calendar fills up soon. If Michael had a Myspace profile, I'd send him round at once, of course.

Talking of virtual worlds, I must admit that I have times of getting really fed up with the Writewords (http://www.writewords.org.uk) world these days. It is (or it was) a good site, and the Groups are great, but I think the forums are getting way too cumbersome and sometimes downright unfriendly these days. Possibly it might be a victim of its own success, which is a shame. Recently I've found myself trying not to get involved with it quite so much, and I definitely feel far less supported on there than I used to be. There's just too many people, and the personal touch has gone, to my mind. Though I really don't want to leave it entirely, especially as parts of the site are incredibly useful, actually I feel far happier on Myspace, to be honest.

And I've just finished reading Jed Rubenfeld's The Interpretation of Murder. Marvellous novel - a pleasure to read, although I do think it was rather too convoluted, especially towards the end. But that doesn't matter, as the characters are just so hot, and it's got some top-notch one liners. A delight really. Go out and read it before they make the film.

Tonight, I'm planning some more scribbling, and it's Catherine Tate on TV later. Bliss. I love her. We redheads must stick together. I always admire a woman with attitude. Bliss.

Today's nice things:

1. Writing
2. Winning a battle with a wasp - for once
3. The pleasures of Rubenfeld's book.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Birthday boy and a bricked-up boyfriend

Hey, if that title doesn't pull you in, nothing will ... First off, it's Lord H's birthday today - hurrah! I'm not allowed to mention how old he is though; suffice it to say that I'll be 43 this year, and he's a full year older than me. 'Nuff said. Anyway, he doesn't look a day over 29, I'm sure. And any ageing that has appeared since our first ever meeting is of course entirely down to his being married to me. Or so he keeps saying.

Anyway, I performed my wifely duties first thing this morning (no, not those, people - 6.30am is way too early!!! And, besides, this is Surrey, you know ...) and provided breakfast chocolate cake and suitable presents and cards. Which included a huge tome on the history of the Book of Common Prayer, which appears to be three feet thick, with size 8 font printing. However Lord H is happy with it, so I gain Wife Points. And of course Points Mean Prizes ... I also bought him the Beginner's Guide to Origami set, so not only can we have a surfeit of small paper planes in the flat, but we can have animals and birds too. Huzzah! My cup indeed runneth over. Already he has made me an origami dog - which would have been charming and nice if I hadn't thought it was a whale. Ah well. I can only be nice in short bursts - anything else isn't natural. And, of course, I have also sent him flowers to work, so it can give him something to be embarrassed about. I asked for a mixture of orange and purple, and apparently he has ended up with blue roses. Hmm. GM crops are a wonderful thing indeed ...

This morning, I have done sod all, really - probably the fall-out from yesterday's hyped-up hive of activity. But I did pop into Guildford for lunch with a friend, Sue - I have caught up with her daughter's traumas, which include the daughter's Dreadful Boyfriend. Still, at 18, I think everyone has a Dreadful Boyfriend - except me, of course, but I did live in the country in my formative years so didn't meet a man until I was 17 (ah brave new world, etc etc ...), and anyway I like to think that I am an acquired taste, like an olive. Lord H was the only one who didn't run fast enough and was therefore unable to avoid my marital rugby tackle tactics ... Anyway, Sue and I have decided that the best way forward is to brick the DB up in her new extension and tell the daughter that he's gone to Paris. You heard it here first, people ...

On my way back, I also popped in to see Gladys, who was quite lively today and had a wasp (a wasp!! at this time of year! Lord preserve us ...) which she is keeping alive in the hallway with leaves from the garden. My personal preference would be for a gerbil, but there's no accounting for taste. And it's always good for the older folk to have a hobby. But, please, if I take to wasp-keeping in my nineties, I demand that someone pulls the plug on me. It would be a mercy killing in my case, I feel.

Tonight, I am providing Lord H with his regular birthday requests (hey, steady, people, steady! ...) of sausages, beans & crinkle-cut chips, followed by chocolate ice cream, all washed down with pink champagne. Never say we don't know how to push the boat out in downtown Godalming. And I'm determined to be extra nice to him with no teasing for a whole weekend. Well, a girl has to try. Though Lord H remains unconvinced that I will manage this great task, and is muttering darkly about whether he has the correct wife or not. We'll see, eh? I do so love a challenge.

Today's nice things:

1. Watching Lord H's joy at getting his origami set
2. Lunch and murderous talk with Sue
3. Naughty birthday food.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

The writing - it's back!

Ye gods, I can still write. Re-sult! I approached "The Gifting" this morning with an anxious heart as I haven't worked on it for a couple of weeks or so, but I managed to bash out 500 words or thereabouts and get myself to the end of a chapter. Lord, but it feels sooooo good. And I've got ideas for scenes floating in silhouette round my head, so it looks like there's life in the old cat yet. Thank goodness. Now I have to think about how I tell the story of Simon's mother and what happened with her, and how I hint at the parts he must at this stage leave out. Hmm, no pressure then - but at least I'm thinking about it!

This morning, I fought a brave, fast and hard-won battle with a queen wasp in the bathroom - put the shakes back in me again, but so far there haven't been any more. Hope it stays that way. I got rid of the evil beast by opening the window very, very carefully and bashing it out with the home address book. But I must have had the quickest bath ever afterwards. Also popped into see Gladys as she's out of hospital. She was soooo glad to be home, but very frail so I didn't stay long. She probably needs her sleep - hell, don't we all ...

I've also rung our holiday hotel for next week and booked myself a back massage and an Indian head massage, so am looking forward to being super-chilled. If only for a while.

And tonight, Lord H and I are up in London for Jane's 50th birthday party. It's being held at the Pimlico Wine Library - which is definitely my sort of library, as long as it has books as well as plonk! - and I suspect it might be quite posh, so I'd better get the posh trousers out. I only have one pair, but they've done me proud for ... um ... twenty years or so. Oh Lord, I really am turning into my mother. Somebody help me!

Today's nice things:

1. Getting back into the writing again
2. Booking my holiday massages
3. Jane's party.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Golf and weekend retreat

Got up early, with Lord H today, to avoid the agony of getting dressed on my own in the flat surrounded by wasps. But so far ... no wasps. Let's hope it stays that way.

Updated my book information on the Writers Promote site (http://www.writerspromote.com) - David Caldo has made this look really nice - thanks, David! Then played golf with Marian - fun but we're weren't great. Are we ever??

I'm now about to have lunch and then my hairdresser will come at 1.30pm-ish. After that, I'm driving to Bristol to stay at the Emmaus Centre for a weekend's retreat on "The Enneagram - Your Personality". Hope it will be good, and relaxing - and insect-free. I'll miss Lord H like crazy though - I always do. Back on Sunday. I'm dreading the journey - I hate going to new places on my own. Please God I get there in one piece!

Today's nice things:

1. Golf
2. Getting a decent haircut
3. The retreat - I hope.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Wasp city

God, it's a day for the bloody wasps today. Wasn't feeling too great this morning, so had a lie-in and a slow start. Managed to have a bath, thank the Lord, before the first evil beast dive-bombed me at breakfast. Then had to get dressed whilst holding another one at bay - not an easy task, I assure you. Which explains why I look like I've been flung together by a Trinny & Susannah reject right now. The last straw was another one on the attack while I was attempting to put my make up on. I gave up at that point and sat outside the flat on the communal stairs and rang Lord H, asking him to come home for lunch so he could sort it out.

Lord H turned up on his white charger an hour later, which meant at least I could put my shoes on while he stood guard. We found 5 dead bodies, and three more live ones. Curses. He then brown-taped every gap we could find in the walls (it's an old house ...) to try to stop them coming in. We think they might be dropping out of the trapdoor to the flat roof, though it's hard to be sure.

Anyway, I went to lunch with Robin when Lord H left - heck, it was good to be out of the flat - but I am now back, typing this in the dark whilst wearing my coat and fingerless gloves just in case I have to do a runner if another of the stripy demons turns up. Thank goodness I'm away this weekend on retreat in Bristol - Lord H will have to deal with them, or maybe ring our usual wasp man if things get nasty. I sooooooooooooooooooo hate wasps. They're evil bastards.

Tonight, we're out at the Glyndebourne Touring Opera's version of Britten's "The Turn of the Screw". So that might cheer me up. Hmm, maybe not ...

Oh, and I've had some positive and interesting comments from the Writewords (http://www.writewords.org.uk) site on my poem, "Black cloud", which has been uplifting. But, as you can tell, no writing has been done - though I have sent off my monthly poetry submission to the next magazine on my list and tried to drum up some interest in "Maloney's Law". Again. With little success. Ah well.

Today's nice things:

1. Lunch with Robin
2. The opera.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Clarins treatment and Bridport longlisting

Spent a glorious morning having a Clarins facial and body treatment. Bliss. Hey, I'm worth it ... And when I got home, I discovered a letter telling me that my poem, "Kitchen Lion", had been longlisted in the Bridport Poetry Prize. Now there's some jolly good news - it's really given me a lift. All I need now is for someone (anyone! Please?...) to give me some good news on any of my novels and my literary life will be complete. Pause for hoped-for miracle ... Ah, sadly not. Ho hum. Still, I shouldn't be greedy. We writers are surely only allowed one piece of good news in a day (possibly only one per month) - isn't that a staple requirement of the publishers' handbook?...

Bad news on the friends' front. Poor Gladys has had a fall and a mini-stroke, so is in A&E at the local hospital while they sort her out, and do a million and one tests etc. Her neighbour will let me know how things are progressing tomorrow, and I'll see if I can pop into wherever Gladys might be to visit. And another friend has just been made redundant. Bastard employers! Can't they understand skill and genius when they see it?? I've told him to kick the blighters into touch, get whatever he can out of them and go and get a nice job with nice appreciative people. What a world, eh?

The rest of the day I've spent on "The Gifting" - another 1000 words done and I've finished the key naming ceremony section - hurrah! Lord knows what comes next - we'll have to see when we start typing again. As ever. Tonight I'm planning a crash-out night in front of the TV - once Lord H has got rid of the wasp (another bloody wasp!! Where the hell are they coming from??!) in the bedroom. Mind you, it should be dead by now as I sprayed half a can of fly spray at it. The only good wasp is a dead wasp, in my opinion.

Today's nice things:

1. Clarins treatment
2. Writing "The Gifting".

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Doctors and wasps

Had my usual check-up with the doctor today. He asked how I was, so I told him - briefly - about the last few months - including feeling depressed, trying to cut down on busy-ness, the current problems of church and God, and the counselling etc. He's a good listener (as well as being a fellow Christian, though I try not to hold that against him ...) and it felt nice to be able to be honest about the whole damn thing for once. He was really sweet about it all - and the result is he's renewed one of my prescriptions, given me another for a Vitamin B complex, printed out some information on anxiety and depression for me, and suggested contacts for my planned ongoing counselling arrangements. At the end, we prayed together - which was unexpected and not normally something I feel that comfortable doing (hey, praying is really personal so back off, people!...) but it actually felt all right this time. Thank you, Dr J. Anyway, I've got another appointment in a month's time, so I'll see how things are then.

Back at home, I got on with having a go with "The Gifting" again - something of a struggle to get into it, but I expected that as I haven't written anything for a week, what with being ill. It took a while, but I've done another thousand words, and am facing a key scene now - so at least it's something to get my teeth into.

Oh, and David Caldo from Writers Promote (http://www.writerspromote.com) has written to Harper Perennial Press mentioning a couple of very worthwhile self-published books they might like to consider (as they're in the market for this, apparently) - one of which is "Pink Champagne and Apple Juice". A thousand blessings on you indeed, David - that's really cheered me up!

Tonight I was supposed to go to the Book Festival (http://www.guildfordbookfestival.co.uk) poetry evening, but I don't much feel like it, to be honest. I think I'm better off staying in and watching TV. Sounds like a plan!... Right now though, I'm stuck in the spare room, as there's a wasp in the hall. I've sprayed, but I'm way too terrified to venture out. Bloody hell, how I hate the evil little beasts! We've been suffering from a spate of them over the last couple of days and I am very, very twitchy. Lord only knows where they're coming from, but I wish they'd ruddy well stay put. Anyway, I've emailed Lord H and told him not to go shopping after work, but to come home instead to rescue the fair maid from the dragon. He's promised a speedy arrival - and has also just rung to confirm this, but I can't answer the phone as it's - yes, you've guessed it - in the ruddy hallway!! Ah well.

Today's nice things:

1. The doctor's appointment
2. Writing
3. David's letter to Harper Perennial.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk