Literary thoughts and phone mysteries

I think I’m going through my monthly slump at the moment – feeling very flat and low, but have taken my usual supply of Happy Pills this morning (where would I be without them, eh?) and am hoping for easier waters soon. Talking of which, here’s today’s meditation:

Meditation 141

The boldness of water
breathes in

his footsteps
as if they were fish

or a summer dragonfly
dancing over a storm,

while the boat enfolds
his flesh in thunder:

rain, the easing wind,
silence.


Staying with literary matters, I'm delighted to say that Painting from Life has had another review on Livejournal, which raises some very interesting issues - thanks so much, Kassa 11, for that. Much appreciated. And, as an aside, the link may warn you that there's adult content involved but that particular link doesn't include any naughtiness (shame!). A special thanks also to Clare London who tipped me off about the review. Thank you, Clare!

At work, I am desperately preparing for the double whammy of meetings (groan …) I have on Monday – the major one is still not sorted yet but I’ll have to send the papers out today, even if only in draft form. Oh, and I’ve finally put the archiving into archiving boxes, though the mystery of how to create an archive box eluded me until Chaplaincy Ruth took pity on my sobs and groans. The instructions told me to look at section D of the flat-pack box in order to start making them up – but there was no section D. Sigh. Thank goodness for the motor skills of parents – it took Ruth about 30 seconds to work it out whereas I’d been struggling for at least five hours. The unfortunate thing was that by the time I’d created my boxes, someone was in the archive room (which also doubles as the meeting room) so I couldn’t get into it anyway. I kept nipping back and peering threateningly through the glass but they were unmovable. Ah well. UPDATE: it’s done, hurrah! I managed to sneak in when nobody was looking and squash the wretched boxes into their spaces, aha. I just hope there's no more archiving for a while, as we're strapped for space.

Meanwhile, I’m getting increasingly twitchy about the frustratingly long silence from the potential (please, God!) US publisher about whether they want to take on The Gifting or not. Honestly, this business is nothing if not soul-destroying. I suppose silence is good news – as if they don’t want it, they let you know soon enough, and I certainly had the same scenario with Flame Books and A Dangerous Man, where agonising months and months went by before the “yes” finally came through – but right now it feels like a doom-laden weight on my head. Sigh. I don’t really know whether to hang onto hope or not. I keep telling myself to wait until the end of the year, but it’s unbelievably hard. Ah well. They do look like such a gloriously good fit for the novel too.

I met up with Fiona from the English Department at lunchtime to thrash out the planning for the autumn reading event. I’m hoping it’s easier than the first time I organised one of these, where I had to end up screaming and sobbing before anyone would help me. I really don’t want to go through that again – but I do believe wholeheartedly in the concept. Again, I’m hoping for smoother waters this time round. UPDATE: Hurrah! - we've been lucky enough to get the hugely talented Charles Christian who runs the Ink Sweat and Tears webzine to come and give us a reading in October, so I'm very much looking forward to that. Thank you so much, Charles, for agreeing to see us!

And, back home, I have had to run the gauntlet of rude telephone people. Honestly!! I saw there were three messages on our answer machine and they all appeared to be from someone called Philip looking for someone called Robert, with increasing desperation as the messages went on. Being a socially minded soul (ho ho), I got the number and rang back to tell the hapless Philip that unfortunately he'd been dialling the wrong number and needed to regroup. Instead of polite gratitude, all I got was a rather abusive reply asking: who the hell I was, and where was Robert (who apparently is a refrigeration engineer) and what number did I think I was on when he definitely had the right number, and therefore it must be all my fault. I told him I had no interest in his problems, I had merely been trying to be helpful, but in his case I wouldn't bother again, and I put the phone down. Really, the cheek of the bloke! Lord H and I have decided that if the pesky bastard rings again, we'll blow a whistle down the phone, beat him with twigs and wish him long agonisingly hot days with no fridge. Really, if the unfortunate Robert has gone AWOL, I have every sympathy ...

Tonight, it’s Springwatch – will the dipper chicks survive their fledging??! The tension mounts, believe me. And Lord H and I are hoping to book our June holiday – I’ve been waiting to see if Dreamspinner Press need me to do anything else for the publication of The Bones of Summer on 22 June, but I haven’t had any response to my request, so I reckon I’m going to book anyway. They do know I have earmarked that time as hols, plus I’ve already signed off the galley proofs (with slight queries about the strange italics font) and I do desperately need to get away. I just hope I don’t upset anyone by taking a decision …

In the meantime, I’ve written a short poem about spaces (again – but different ones …) and I’m still working on that pesky short story about letters. Perhaps I should have stuck to a story about texting, eh?

Today’s nice things:

1. Poetry
2. The Painting from Life review
3. The reading event
4. TV
5. Holiday booking, come what may
6. Pondering short stories.

Anne Brooke - bamboozed by boxes, and phone calls ...
Cancer Research Race for Life - 4 days to go!

Papers, Books and Writers

This morning, I am inundated with paperwork. Hmm, the academic staff must be back then. And raring to go, darn it. Anyway, I have now printed out everything there is to print in the entire universe ready for Monday’s meeting, with the knowledge that at least three people are taking it to the wire (as it were) in terms of tomorrow’s deadline. Which – for once – is completely and utterly unmovable. Mainly because I won’t be here to do any further photocopying on Thursday and Friday, hurrah! Honestly, I think I am actually engaged to the photocopying machine, and hope to set a date shortly.

Ooh, and talking about marriage, the vicar that married Lord H and me (no, he wasn't bribed, before you ask!) has asked for a copy of Pink Champagne and Apple Juice so I am sending him one. Goodness alone knows what he’s going to think, poor man, as he’s such a sweetie. Hope it doesn’t send him over the edge into the great beyond, but if I don’t get our Christmas card and annual note next year I shall know the reason why …

Walked into town at lunchtime – mainly in order to pay in said vicar’s cheque, but also to get some exercise and some fresh (if chilly) air. Oh, and I’ve finally written my first poem of 2008 – an attempt at a cautionary tale for the next Writing Magazine competition. Not entirely sure about my rhyming scheme, but heck I did my best. I’m surprised I can function at all in view of the brickbats coming at me from all “official” directions, m’dears! And, with that in mind, a huge thank you for all the messages of support coming my way also – all very much appreciated. Give yourselves a very big pat on the back indeed. Plus a group hug!

I’ve spent a large part of this afternoon dealing with student queries, so have got loads of information to tell them, but can’t get hold of them to do so. Ah well. So near and yet so far! Ooh, and I’ve sold another copy of Champers plus one of A Dangerous Man, hurrah! Not only that but Sean from Flame Books tells me that last quarter I sold a grand total of 13 copies. May not sound much to you, good people, but hey it's one more than the quarter before! Still nowhere near getting any royalties though. Michael - he's such a chancer ... Oh, and I’ve been asked to write a short article on last year’s AUA conference by our local Rep for the University. Yikes! Maybe I should have a man coming through the door with a gun at the plenary session? That would have ’em rolling in the aisles …

And, hot off the press, I gather that the generous-hearted Tony at MySpace has also just ordered a copy of Champers from Goldenford. Gosh, thanks, Tony - you are an officer and a gentleman. Uncle John is already opening a bottle to drink your good health.

I've also just finished reading Reginald Hill's The Death of Dalziel. What can I say? Another Hill winner. I do so love that series and am even now salivating for the next one. It might have - for me - become a tiny bit too convoluted at the end, but as I read it mainly for the wonderful characters, it didn't bother me. I also suspect it was just my simple head, ho ho. Hill is, after all, a master plotter.

Tonight, I’m off to Guildford Writers and will be taking the next section of my skit novel. Well, you’ve got to have a laugh somewhere along the line, eh!

Today’s nice things:

1. Finding a way through the mound of papers on my desk – I think I can see the light, Carruthers!
2. Selling some books – hurrah!
3. Guildford Writers.

Anne Brooke
Anne's zappy new website!
Goldenford Publishers

The worst wine-maker ever and lunch with Julia

Still feeling shocked and very flat after yesterday’s news about poor Uncle Leonard. Have sent off a letter to my aunt today, but will try to ring her tonight. Rang Mother from work today though – she hadn’t had a very good night at all, poor thing. Not that I’m surprised. Worse for my aunt of course. Bugger. We did share a wry smile though at the thought of Leonard attempting to convince St Peter at the Pearly Gates to let him take in his home-made wine through. No! No! we cry. That paint-stripper is best in the other place by far …!! Trust us on that one, Uncle Leonard – though, knowing you, you’ve probably left us all a job-lot of the stuff in your will and will force us to drink it. Even from beyond the grave. Double bugger.

Anyway, this morning I’m at work and not feeling as sick as I thought I would. Maybe those supercharged nasal sprays from the doctor are doing some good after all. Thank the Lord. However, I’ve cancelled my chat with Susan in the Counselling Centre about the Mindfulness course – not sure I’m up to personal delving at the moment – I’ve rescheduled it to next week. In the meantime, I’m working away on the web project and attempting to look like a professional.

Oh, and there is some good news – Flame Books will be doing a second edition of A Dangerous Man, hurrah! With review quotes on the cover, more huzzahs. So once it’s out I hope they manage to sell some more copies. Michael will be wearing a new tee-shirt especially for the occasion. Probably bought with Jack’s money, but hey you know him …

Met Julia for lunch as it’s her last week here and I’m not in Thursday or Friday. As usual. Sorry to see you go, Julia, and I’ll miss your input at the University Writers’ Group, but glad you’ve got something nice to go to – and keep writing! Even more important – finish one of those novels, babe: they’re great and you know you want to!

I did have a “warm glow” moment today, when the Dean of Students said that his two older teenage daughters had been reading A Stranger’s Table and emailing their friends with quotes from it. Gosh, that’s nice – unless of course they’re emailing each other examples of how not to write and giggling helplessly. Ah well, eh! – and, heck, just as long as they’re producing better work themselves as a result, then I suppose I really can’t complain! And, whether they hate it or love it, at least they’re not indifferent to it …

Tonight, I’m not doing very much - though I have just spoken to my (nice - yes there is one!) cousin up north. My aunt's sleeping - which can only be a good thing under the circumstances. I sent our love. Apart from that, I'll watch TV and drink Lemsip. Bloody hell, it’s a plan.

Today’s nice things:

1. Chuckling with my Mother over Leonard’s dreadful wine-making - bizarrely
2. Lunch with Julia
3. A second edition of A Dangerous Man.

Anne Brooke
Anne's website

Gay's the Word and Guildford Writers

Jennifer at Goldenford emailed me last night to say that she’d had a discussion with one of the people at Gay’s the Word bookshop in London about A Dangerous Man and Pink Champagne and Apple Juice, and there might be some interest in putting on an event there at some stage. Gosh – well done, Jennifer. And thank you. Honestly, the woman’s like a tidal wave. I’m impressed about the talking up of a book Goldenford didn’t actually publish though! The only thing is that I now have to ring up Jim (the manager) at Gay’s the Word to see what his opinion is. How I hate these marketing calls – I’d much rather do things via email or not at all really. It’s seriously scary. I’ll never sound like a “real” author (whatever one of them is …), no matter how long I live.

UPDATE: Well, I rang the poor chap and burbled on unconvincingly. From the University loos. As you do. The upshot is I’ll send him a copy of A Dangerous Man with information on where he can get it from. And then we can breathe an extremely clichéd sigh of relief and get on with our usual life of Z-list obscurity, tee hee. And not writing. Which seems to be the case these days. Double sigh. Still, to show willing, I’ll pop some details in about Pink Champagne and Apple Juice. You never know your luck, eh …

FURTHER UPDATE: Sean at Flame Books has offered to send a copy of A Dangerous Man to Jim and get in touch with him directly. Gawd bless you, Sean – lovely to get the email. I’m just so used to doing everything myself that sometimes I forget the publisher aspect entirely. It certainly made me feel a little lighter of heart anyway! Ooh, and it must be my day (or possibly Michael’s day) as Sean has also sent out further review/promo copies to other venues (well done, Sean, and thank you) and has negotiated ADM’s availability on Amazon.uk and Amazon.com. Gosh, Michael might be easier to get hold of soon (as it were!), both here and across the water. He’ll enjoy that for sure.

Went for a walk around campus at lunchtime – nice to get out of the office. Without the terror of having to call anyone. Sat by the lake and enjoyed gazing at the ducks, the coots and the moorhens, the latter of which had two chicks. Lovely. The ducks also indulged in a display of simultaneous leg stretching. Very talented birds really. And I’m amazed they could balance on one leg at all.

And it’s Mother’s operation sometime today (they didn’t know if it would be morning or afternoon – that the NHS for you then), so hope all that goes well for her. Interestingly, I did ring the hospital last night to check she’d got in okay, and followed Mother’s instructions to the letter about never (under pain of destruction) referring to the ward manager as “matron” but always asking for the “Ward Co-ordinator” instead. This I duly did. There was a long, blank silence (as silences often are, funnily enough …) followed by a glorious Essex accent asking me if I meant Matron. So much for being modern, eh?

And here’s some flash fiction for the Writewords Flash Fiction II Group – this week’s theme is “obdurate”:

A change is as good …

Forty years she’d been married to him and she’d never known him change his mind. Once he’d made a decision, however small, it was set in stone. It was for this reason that she’d had one child only, that they’d never been abroad, that she didn’t own a colour television and that they’d always lived in Reigate. The morning after the funeral, she sent dating agency details to her son (she’d make do with grandchildren or want to know the reasons why …), booked a holiday in Fuengirola, placed a call to Dixon’s and asked her neighbour what Scotland was like. Well, a change was as good as a rest, they said. And now the old bugger was dead, she intended to find out for herself.



Suspect there might be the beginnings of a very strange novel in there somewhere, but let’s hope it doesn’t surface too soon, eh …

Tonight, it’s Guildford Writers, but I’m not taking anything of the novel along, as I’m feeling rather low on the confidence stakes, and don’t feel much up to being brave. Am happy to give reasoned opinions on other people’s work though and maybe take along today's flash fiction piece, so I hope not to be a complete lemon in the meeting. Will also need to go along in order to (a) donate wine bottles to Irene who is making plum wine (sounds like heaven – hope we get a chance to sample some, Irene …) and doesn’t have enough empty bottles to put it in (can’t understand that myself) and (b) give copies of Pink Champagne and Apple Juice to Jennifer and Jackie, both of whom plan to run a Goldenford bookstall at separate locations in the near future.

Today’s nice things:

1. The contact with Gay’s the Word, and Sean’s offer
2. Lunchtime walk
3. Guildford Writers (without the fear of reading!)

Anne Brooke
Anne's website
Pink Champagne and Apple Juice
Goldenford Publishers

Backs, ballet and books

Bought cakes on my way to work today, as it’s my birthday tomorrow but I don’t work on Thursdays. So I will be Mrs Popular for a day, hurrah! The office signed a card for me, which was very sweet, and also sang “Happy Birthday” when I’d sat down at my desk, which was also very sweet – if rather disturbing. I don’t think we’ll be entering the next series of “Britain’s Got Talent” in the choir category … Though of course, if you’re reading this at all, Carol, you’re a solo star in the making!...

The car’s gone in for a service & MOT today, so Lord H and I have swapped cars for the day. Must try and remember that his Renault Laguna is built like a tank, compared to my little Fiesta (goodness, how typical boy/girl couple we sound, all of a sudden, at least in our car choices …) so I can’t swerve into the parking spaces as I can with my own. Hope poor little Rupert (yes, I do name my car – don’t you?) is okay, and safe back tonight. I do worry about him.

And I’ve been thinking lately about scaling down the attempts to break into the world of the mainstream published. I’m just starting my seventh book now, and in my seventh year of writing fiction, and there have been no bites from any of the “big boys” so perhaps it’s time to accept that it simply isn’t going to happen. The constant attempts to chip away at the very thick glass ceiling that seems to exist around me have also, particularly over the last two years, been very debilitating and have really taken away a lot of the enjoyment I get from actually writing. I absolutely loved writing my first novel, The Hit List, and though I think it’s my worst one in terms of quality (which is probably better than it being my best – I like to think I’m improving after all), I’d love to get back that enthusiasm and sense of freshness that powered me through it. And yes it’s lovely to have been recently published by Flame Books (http://www.flamebooks.com) but I think they’re finding it hard to sell decent quantities of A Dangerous Man which must therefore be tricky for them too. After my attempts to be smiley and nice to people with ridiculous and surely unjustified amounts of emotional power at the forthcoming Annual Writers’ Conference (http://www.writersconference.co.uk), we’ll have to see.

The same goes for my poetry, which I’ve been writing for about twenty years now. I get accepted so rarely in magazines these days (though I was doing better – perhaps writing better? – a couple of years ago), that I think it’s time to revisit my once a month submissions schedule. I might scale down to trying once every couple of months. Rejections are soul-destroying enough, after all. Why put myself through it more than I absolutely have to? And I certainly won’t be sending collections out anywhere again. In my experience, people have enthused and promised to come back to me, but then after a year or so they just seem to disappear. I’ll stick to the self-publishing route. It just makes me feel a lot happier. Apart from the lack of sales of course. That’s always a bummer.

All this writerly thought and potential decision-making does make me feel sad, I have to admit. It’s hard to win awards for my work and yet get shunned by 99% of the publisher world – with the honourable exception of Flame! And also not forgetting Goldenford though there of course I do have a directorial say. But, for my own peace of mind, I do have to begin to think practically. And number my sales in the tens and fifties, rather than the hundreds or thousands.

Went to my back exercise class at lunchtime – the last of the academic year, at least for me as I can’t do next week’s. I’m hoping to get away with a light regime this session as I’d like to be able to move without aching tomorrow. I’m such an old crock, you know … Though now they tell me that they might put an extra week on, so is there, even in Health, no mercy?! Darn it, eh!

And I’ve just given up on Linda Fairstein’s Death Dance. I lost interest by page 103, to be honest. I think it was all too fast-paced and exhausting, and I didn’t care enough. I also preferred the sub-plot and had no interest in the main plot about the ballet dancer. Sigh.

Talking of which, tonight, Lord H is taking me out to the ballet at Woking – we’re going to have dinner at the theatre and see “Sleeping Beauty”, so that should be great. I love the ballet. I could have been a ballet star, you know, except that I have no sense of grace or balance. Or indeed any kind of skill or talent in that area. Ah well, another vocation cruelly snatched away, ho ho …

Today’s nice things:

1. Cakes at the office
2. The back class
3. Sleeping Beauty.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

The definitive Z-list feeling

Ye gods, but I'm feeling pretty Z-list today. It's the subtitle on the Blogger version of this journal (if you're reading that one) - someone once complained about it, but I kept it as it does seem to fit. Anyway, today, I am surrounded by writers who have already done it all, or are about to do it all, and are having utterly marvellous fulfilling times. And frankly, it's shit. Sorry, but it is. I know I'm supposed to rejoice in the wonderful success of others, but hell it's bloody hard sometimes. I honestly think that the older and more worn round the edges (and indeed the centre) that I get, the more invisible I become.

Anyway, bloody hard graft morning today - did the Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) minutes, sent them out, and the first response I got was a distinctly stiff command (not, I suspect, from any of the directors themselves, but from one of their administrators ...) not to send them to the address I was sending to as my email was Not Office Business. Well, sorry, but I'm doing my best, people. And the director concerned did actually ask me to use that address, so I was only doing what I was told. For once ...

I've also practised my Writewords (http://www.writewords.org.uk) poetry reading for the July event, and put together a few well-chosen (I hope) words for introducing The Gawain Quest (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) at the 23 June launch. And practised them too. Not only that, but Flame (http://www.flamebooks.com) have encouraged me to write an article on why straight women write gay fiction, so I've done a skeleton outline for that and made a couple of enquiries to possible article buyers. Ooh, and asked those women I know who write in that genre for any points they might want to include. However, I'm told that several pieces already exist in the same vein, so will probably change it to more of an opinion piece. We'll see. But it's a bloody hard slog - I'm not a natural at this game at all, I fear. Still, I'll do my best.

Then, lunch with Robin - which was lovely, as ever, but I was sooo hoping that she might say something about A Dangerous Man (which I know she's read now). However, there was nothing, and I was way too scared to ask. Yes, I know that shows how needy and desperate I am - but bloody hell, live with it! I am needy and desperate! After all, I always make some kind of comment on her concerts that I attend - even if I haven't enjoyed them (I'm not a great fan of requiems, though Lord H enjoys them), I can find something positive to say. Sigh! Still, we had a good time nonetheless

Just off to counselling now - Kunu couldn't see me this morning, so I'm popping in at 5.15 instead. How I hate the change in routine, but suspect I need the session. God, how I need the session! And after that, I'll be going straight to the Guildford theatre to see Ayckbourn's "Bedroom Farce", so hope that'll cheer me up. We'll eat at the theatre too. Salmon - yummy!

Oh, and poor Mother is having another cancer scare - bit of a bummer really, as she was so looking forward to her July holiday, which she'll now have to cancel. But I'm encouraging her to rebook for later in the year, as it'll be something to look forward to. Must admit we've been here before in terms of operations etc - being Mother, she's more pissed off by the fact that this time all the young doctors appear to be female, and she was so hoping for a nice young man - as ever, eh ... But we'll hold our breath and hope for the best. The good news is that they've caught it earlier than the last bout - thank God. Must rush and do my own essential checking then - groan! What a family indeed ...

And I do so wonder when Myspace (http://www.myspace.com) are going to allow me my blog comments facility back. Double sigh - was it something I said??

Today's nice things:

1. Lunch with Robin
2. Writing the launch party introduction
3. The theatre.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com

Watches, swallows and MCs

Lord H has lost his watch– well, we couldn’t find it anywhere last night. He was comforted by the fact that he’d already set the alarm for 6.30am so it was a matter of waiting till it started beeping and then trying to find it. Good plan – if it had worked. But come 6.30 this morning and no beeping. The watch isn’t in the flat then. So it’s either in his car, at work or somewhere along the walk he took yesterday lunchtime. I’m not that worried, to be honest, as actually it’s been broken for weeks (no strap now) and he’s been carrying it around in his pocket anyway, and ignoring my helpful wifely suggestions that a new watch, with a strap, might be nice. Well, I’m only trying to be supportive. He did look for one for a while, but never found anything he liked, so gave up. It looks like now he’ll have to find one, if the old version doesn’t reappear somewhere …

And those baby swallows on Springwatch (http://www.bbc.co.uk/springwatch) are now so ridiculously large that any moment I fear they will bring the whole nest down due to their combined weight. Lord H said that yesterday one of them was clinging on to the outside of the nest beating its wings desperately to avoid destruction. Well, fly, baby, fly – it’s what your wings are for!!! Honestly, it must be like having teenagers – leave the ruddy nest, why don’t you!! It’s time you were gone …

Oh, and I’m feeling quite chuffed as, at last night’s Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) meeting, Jennifer asked me to introduce her and say a few words at the launch party for The Gawain Quest on Saturday 23 June. I was really touched – I’ve never been asked to be an MC before. It feels quite nice – and I shall be more than happy to do it (though I’ll probably be terrified on the day and have to take 10 calming pills, as ever …) as I love the book and I had a wonderful time editing it for her. Such a class act. But then again, in my opinion, all our Goldenford books (yes, even mine!) are class acts and deserve a far wider readership than they actually get. I can guarantee that if you get yourself over to http://www.goldenford.co.uk and have a look through our list, there’ll be at least one book there that you or someone you know will love. Go on: I dare you. You won’t regret it.

Have spent this morning typing up the minutes of yesterday’s Student Affairs Committee, or attempting to, anyway. Felt like a bit of a trawl today, I must say. But then again, I’m shattered, so have no energy for this kind of stuff. Still, we struggle on. Went to my back exercise class at lunchtime, hoping some energy might appear there. Or, at the very least, a different type of exhaustion.

And this afternoon, I took the minutes of the Mentoring Advisory Board. I am seriously minuted out now – sometimes I do wish these things could be spread out more, so that one could catch one’s breath before the next one, but it’s not the university way. And it’s all the more tricky as I only work here Mondays to Wednesdays, so a full-time meetings schedule has to be shoe-horned into my part-time hours. I’m a mistress of logistics really.

Tonight, Ruth and I are going straight from work for supper at Penny’s, an ex-work colleague. Have stored the wine – and the map (I’m hopeless at directions, even though she only lives in Guildford …) in the car, and am hoping not to be too late home. Consequently, I am wearing my “going-out” shoes, which are nearly sparkly, rather than my usual black work shoes. Everyone has commented, probably because I usually dress not to be noticed, and am the Queen of Dark Colours.

STOP PRESS: Just back from Penny's now - we had a great time. Really chilled and soooo relaxing. Wonderful!

And I've just found out that Flame (http://www.flamebooks.com) have joined forces with The Writeout Club (http://www.writeout.co.uk), who are going to be stocking some copies of A Dangerous Man at their stall in the Royal Festival Hall, London. Astonishing! Michael goes posh - whatever next??? Thanks, Sean - you're a marketing star indeed.

Oh, and did I get any fiction writing done today? No chance. Sigh!

Today’s nice things:

1. Michael going posh
2. The exercise class
3. Supper with Ruth & Penny.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com

Dopey day

Lord, what a dopey day today. I seem to have had about a zillion hours sleep (which I suspect I needed) and only managed to drag myself out of bed this morning after 10am. Getting up is such an effort, you know ... But at least I managed to have a bath and get dressed by early afternoon, thus showing a great improvement on yesterday "getting dressed time" of gone 3pm. Somebody pass the smelling salts ...

Hey, and I managed to eat breakfast too - hurrah! A normal one. Though I suspect lunch will be a no-go area. Lord H has gone to the Cathedral today to stock up on more theology books, and then will be popping into Guildford & Godalming to stock up on essential girly items that I haven't managed to get this week. What a hero. I also really need to do something for my stepfather for Fathers' Day (next weekend, folks, if you've forgotten ...), so have added that to the Lord H list too. Poor chap.

While collapsed on my sofa (well, it's been a busy morning - all that getting up, you know), I've been flicking through the latest brochure for the Landmark Trust (http://www.landmarktrust.org.uk) - as Lord H is keen to take a few weekends away (with me, I hope, though he hasn't actually said that!!) over the summer. They have some absolutely glorious buildings, but no TVs - which, to a person of my pathetic attention span, is quite frightening. But I have to be careful to avoid buildings with beams and/or thatched roofs in order to clamp down on the possible spider content. Mind you, last time we stayed in a Landmark Trust property, it appeared to be home to a colony of moths the size of tigers, so I ended up getting Lord H to inspect each room before I went into it. I spent a large part of that holiday hiding under the bedsheets and screaming while Lord H ran around the room attempting to kill an insect almost the size of his own head. Needless to say, that wasn't a terribly relaxing week ...

... but not as terrifying as the other Landmark Trust property we stayed in, somewhere in Derbyshire, which I swear was haunted, and I kept getting up in the middle of the night rigid with fear and praying a great deal. Though I do accept Lord H's explanation that I did spend that week with a particularly virulent kidney infection (my, how the doctors loved me when I got back) and was therefore seeing all sorts of peculiar things in the woodwork. And visiting the bathrooms a great deal. My, what fun we have on our hols indeed.

And I've put "Springwatch" (http://www.bbc.co.uk/springwatch) on my favourites list, and keep dipping in to watch the latest excitements. My goodness, those baby swallows have enormously large yellow beaks. I swear that their heads make up 90% of their bodies when their mouths are open. Scary stuff.

I've also just finised Megan Taylor's marvellous and lyrical How We Were Lost. It's Flame Books' (http://www.flamebooks.com) latest offering (so, sadly, I am knocked off my "new" perch at last ...) and well worth a read. A poetic, gripping and ultimately terrifying view of childhood and the family. I particularly loved the constantly shifting family relationships, especially Janie and her sister, and Janie and her dad. Great stuff.

Ooh, and Lord H has just come back from the shops, loaded with goodies, and has even bought flowers for the invalid. My, his Husband Points are overflowing today. At least, I think the flowers are for me - unless of course he knows a barrel-load of other sick people!

Tonight, I'm doing some more serious slumping - I'm beginning to fear that I may have lost the ability to write at all, groan ... - and will be glued to (a) "Dr Who", (b) the sofa, and (c) my essential Lucozade bottle. Thank God for fizzy orange goo drinks when you're sick, eh?

Today's nice things:

1. Sleep
2. Megan Taylor's How We Were Lost
3. TV.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

A medley of writing thoughts

The very talented Amanda Mann (http://fessingauthor.blogspot.com) has put a fascinating series of questions on her blog today, and invited me to answer them too - which I'll try to the best of my ability. I'm not a great believer in the concept of "tagging", but if there's anyone else out there who'd like to answer them too, feel free to have a go!

1. Do you outline?
Not if I can help it would be my usual answer - but my agent (http://www.johnjarrold.co.uk) made me do it for The Gifting, and actually it's helped. Probably because it's fantasy, therefore a genre I haven't tackled before and also much longer than my usual projects.

2. Do you write straight through a book, or do you sometimes tackle the scenes out of order?
Straight through on the whole. But I do dot about every now and again.

3. Do you prefer writing with a pen or using a computer?
Always pen for poetry. Usually straight to computer for novels (though, again, the last fifth of The Gifting has been done by pen first).

4. Do you prefer writing in first person or third?
First person for my gay male protagonists; third person for my straight or bisexual women.

5. Do you listen to music while you write?
Never. It's just too distracting.

6. How do you come up with the perfect names for your characters?
By guesswork and trying things out. For Maloney's Law, I did ask my husband for a good solid surname for my main character, Paul, and he suggested "Cole" - as he thought a novel entitled "Cole's Law" would be a bestseller. Hmm, so much for marital support, eh?!...

7. When you're writing, do you ever imagine your book as a television show or movie?
Sometimes. The scenes always happen in my head like a film as I write them down. Afterwards, I fantasise about which people would be best to play which parts. For more of that, see http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com and click onto the Film section!

8. Have you ever had a character insist on doing something you really didn't want him/her to do?
Yes. Or, rather, they've taken the book in different directions and I'm more than happy to give them their head.

9. Do you know how a book is going to end when you start it?
No. I like a surprise! Sometimes, I do write a quasi-ending fairly early on (I like something to aim for ...) but I always change it when I get there.

10. Where do you write?
At the computer in the spare room; on the sofa in the living room; on holiday; at work; on trains; sometimes on the loo in the middle of the night when I've wanted some privacy! Dont' we all?

11. What do you do when you get writer's block?
Panic. Attempt to do something different in another genre to kick myself out of it.

12. What size increments do you write in (either in terms of wordcount, or as a percentage of the book as a whole)?
I used to go for 2000 words on a clear day, but I've scaled that down to about 500-1000 now.

13. How many different drafts did you write for your last project?
One so far! I've just finished (hurrah! hurrah!) the first draft of The Gifting at 123,000 words and am preparing to start the edit now.

14. Have you ever changed a character's name midway through a draft?
Once only - with my first novel.

15. Do you let anyone read your book while you're working on it, or do you wait until you've completed a draft before letting someone else see it?
I take the start of my work to Guildford Writers Group (http://www.guildfordwriters.net) and also upload sections to the Writewords site (http://www.writewords.org.uk). Comments received are very helpful indeed.

16. What do you do to celebrate when you finish a draft?
Eat chocolate. Crack open the champagne.

17. One project at a time, or multiple projects at once?
Usually one novel at a time (unless they overlap towards the end of one and the start of another), but I also write flash fiction and poetry to get a writing balance and to give myself a boost during the longer projects.

18. Do your books grow or shrink in revision?
Shrink.

19. Do you have any writing or critique partners?
Not really. But see Question 15. It's a very private matter, I think.

20. Do you prefer drafting or revising?
Both can be fun, but revising is when you can really get your teeth into it. Hold on, Simon - I've got The Gifting in my sights now so you'll soon be rather more polished than you currently are!!...


So, there you go. Hope you enjoyed the brief run-through of Brooke's Writing Style. I certainly did!

Other things that have happened today (apart from finishing the first draft of The Gifting - did I mention that?...) include Sean at Flame Books (http://www.flamebooks.com) contacting me to say that he knows that A Dangerous Man needs a more proactive marketing push on their behalf and he's hoping to rectify this over the coming weeks. That'll be good (says she!) but I wait to see what plans he might come up with. Now that he's seen that I'm being proactive on the internet marketing front, I'm hoping it might be matched by Flame, so I've given him some ideas - and I'm hoping that will come to fruition.

I've also put together my novel submissions (all Thorn in the Flesh, as I think it's probably my most easily marketable work) for the Annual Writers' Conference (http://www.writersconference.co.uk) one-to-ones with publishers and will post them off later today or tomorrow - apparently I'll be seeing Alex Bonham from Hodder & Stoughton, Katie Elspiner from Transworld, and novelist and ex-Darley Anderson agent, Lucie Whitehouse. I'm hoping against hope that they'll be more pleasant than the two (very well-known) agents I saw in my first conference who told me I was unpublishable, unmarketable and unreadable. Bollocks to those two, I say - they obviously have no idea about quality! But I'm hoping that the people I see this year won't be as rude or curt as they usually are at these things - after all, we pay good money for these conferences; we deserve decent treatment at least.

Oh, and I've just finished Jodi Picoult's Keeping Faith. The usual Picoult brilliance. I loved it! A great and clever ending too. More please (though as Picoult writes about a novel a month, that won't be too hard a task for her to fulfill ...)!

Tonight, Lord H and I are going to see "Skin Tight" (drama with nudity, I think - hurrah!) at the Mill Theatre in Guildford tonight, so that'll put smiles on our faces for sure. Best make sure I set the video for "The Last Detective" before we go.

Today's nice things:

1. Finishing the first draft of The Gifting (did I say that already??...)
2. Thinking about my writing methods
3. The Picoult book.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

A day of two halves ...

Very up and down today, I must say. In that order. Both me-wise and weather-wise. This morning was good. On all fronts (ho ho). Went into Guildford early and stocked up on underwear at Marks & Spencer. Where would I be without that shop? Today I've been bold and rebellious and actually bought bras that weren't white. Or black. Which are my usual bra colours. No, today I have bought, amongst other items, one pink and one light taupe bra. So I feel wild and free and liberated. Hurrah.

Also had a counselling session with Kunu. As I did things I enjoyed at the weekend, I think she's pleased with me. Though of course I know that isn't the object of the exercise. We talked about shopping and the Quakers, about friends and books. We agreed that perhaps the reason why I've been stuck on the last chapter of The Gifting is that I've been worried for days about whether I should or shouldn't go up to London to see the university gals. Then when I make the decision yesterday not to go, I felt some inner knot untie itself (heck, there's psycho drama for you) and then spent some time late last night telling Lord H what my last chapter would contain. Hell, it all came flooding out, and I had to rush to scribble the notes down. Luckily he has promised to expunge it from his memory so it won't spoil his reading if it ever comes to the page. Zip zip and the memory is gone ... it's amazing how Lord H can do that, y'know. Must be a boy thing.

Anyway, back at the counselling, Kunu is sure there's a link there somewhere. We talked about the uni gang for a while actually, and I think the trouble is that we're all performers to some extent or other. I think we spent a lot of time when we first met pretending things were different than they actually were. Sometimes that particular group friendship is like being on stage and we're all performing our own versions of a play which doesn't quite gel. Maybe over the years we've all changed so much and yet still, whenever we meet, we're back performing our usual roles, come what may. It can make it feel - at least for me - very awkward, and I get very tense and jittery about it all. And yet ... and yet ... I freely admit that, without them, I would never have managed to get through university. Or indeed my early 20s. Where did it all start to change? God knows. Maybe I should invite them all round for my birthday in June and just have a normal chat. Whatever that is. Again, God knows. I'm in two minds. As ever.

Though I have to say in my defence that it's not only me who's decided not to go to London tomorrow - someone else has dropped out to. For reasons more valid than mine. But at least it makes me feel less guilty. Which makes a bloody change then.

After counselling, I popped for tea & chat at Jane H's (hello, Jane!). This was lovely - I really enjoyed it. Sooo relaxing. And we covered so many topics. From recycling (we are both very excited about the new food recycling project in Guildford - my, how "Surrey" we both are indeed! - and I am desperate for it to come to Godalming too ..) to my mother's strange feelings about houses (they have atmospheres, you know), from the children (eat your veggies, little people, and stop pouting ...) to horse-riding, and from Roman soldiers to hearing voices (me, not her, I hasten to add, but then you knew that ...). Talking of which, Jane's mother has also apparently read A Dangerous Man (http://www.flamebooks.com) and was desperately worried that I'd had some past trauma that caused me to write such stories and was wanting to know how to help. Jane was able to reassure her, saying apparently that it was only that I heard Michael's voice in my head and just wrote down what he was trying to say. Strangely, this did reassure her - perhaps finding out that I'm probably a complete nutter was not a total surprise ... Still, I was very touched she'd been worried - so thank you, Mrs R.

Also, whilst at Jane's, I ordered some more Nutrimetics (http://www.nutrimetics.co.uk) products, so won't have to worry about running out of same. Hurrah!

Back home, I come to my emails, and was instantly plunged into the slough of despond to realised that my first quarter (ie 13 Feb to end March) sales of ADM have been ... um ... 44. Which Flame Books have now understandably downgraded from good sales to promising sales. To be honest, I'm surprised that anyone should think 44 is good sales, but perhaps they all came in the first two weeks and they were hoping the sudden spurt would continue. Ah well. No, I'm sounding too philosophical now. Actually, I cried, but it did start raining at the same time so at least I'm doing my bit for the ongoing literary tool of pathetic fallacy. To be honest, I was upset as I was hoping it might be in the 80s figure, maybe even more (though that for me would be serious dreamland only 2 months or so after publication). Though, once I'd dried my tears and had a banana, I checked my records and did remember that I've sold 11 copies myself, so have dragged the figure up single-handedly to 55. Hurrah indeed. So, in royalties terms (the 11 sold author copies don't count of course for that), I've made £35.20. Which I won't get of course as they don't, understandably, pay royalties until the figure goes over £100. My, how it makes me laugh when people think I earn money from books. Slap my thighs and build me a garret.

And, if I'm trying to be sensible, I will be lucky if I reach 100 copies sold with this one. Michael is a specialised (and possibly very acquired) taste. Looking back on my past books, The Hit List has only sold 93 in the three years since I published it, and Pink Champagne and Apple Juice (my biggest success so far!) has only sold 105 since last year. So the disappointing sales of ADM are, I suppose, at least par for the course. I pride myself, however, on having round about 40 very discerning readers - to you all, thank you. I hope you might read me again. Small is beautiful indeed. Should any publisher ever be idiotic enough to take yet another chance on me, that is.

Meanwhile, the rain has stopped and the sun is trying to come out. Ye gods, I know how it feels.

And I've done about 1000 words to The Gifting. Which, under the circumstances of feeling like a demolition tool had whacked me in the stomach, is pretty good going, I think! Oh, and bizarrely I've had two emails and two phone calls from the university gang, in various sexes. And I know I should be answering them and being normal in some way but, really, I just can't summon the emotional energy for that right now. Sorry, gang. It's beyond me at the moment.

Tonight, it's the Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) meeting, so I shall keep my head down, have no opinions, agree with everything and just take minutes. I think that's the way through it. And maybe a sherry or two when I get home. Oh yes, please God yes.

Today's nice things:
1. Counselling
2. Seeing Jane H
3. Writing.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com

Small flashes and larger words

Goodness, what a literary day today. The boss is back too, so we have to look super-professional and cutting-edge. Not that we don’t always look like that, of course – it’s just that we have to expunge that tell-tale trace of panic from our eyes …

Anyway, did a fair amount of website stuff, which I always enjoy, mainly on the Mentoring site, and we have plans for the Health Centre site too. Hurrah. About time it got updated. I’m sure we still have stuff about the Bubonic plague up there somewhere, if I looked closely enough. Groan.

And what fun I’ve had with the University rejiggling of the bank holidays. A concept which is seriously pissing me off, if only for the complexity of the new regime we have to do – but frankly I can’t be arsed to make a fuss. For once. Anyway, the powers that be have decided that bank holidays and University closure days are not fair for part-timers, as those part-timers (such as myself) who work the beginning of a week get to take and enjoy more bank holidays than those who work the end of a week. A concept, I admit, that even I can understand. However, instead of doing the sensible thing and just chucking in a few more holiday days for those people who work the end of the week – as I would have done – they’ve decided to subject the bank holidays of all part-time people to a series of mathematical formulae designed to work out an even balance. Allegedly. So, David and I have pored over this, sighed a lot and finally worked out that I am (possibly) allowed to have 9 bank holiday/University closure days in one academic year. However, as there are actually 13 in total, this means I owe the University four days up to and including March 2008. As a result, I have to either work an extra day in a bank holiday week, or take it as part of my leave, or as unpaid leave up to the value of four. Ye gods, no wonder Higher Education is struggling. So now I have a natty little spreadsheet designed to work it all out as I go along, which I have designed myself, and a pretty nifty headache.

To cap it all, my case is easy, as at least I work full days when I am here. Those people, such as Andrea in the Dean of Students’ Office, who only work partial days have to work it all out in hours. It’s astonishing we have time for anything else at all, really.

Had a UniSWriters meeting at lunchtime, which was thin on the ground as some people were sick (we missed you, Julia! – hope you’re better soon) or on training days, but we had some very good discussions about the manuscripts and about the publishing business. They were also very helpful about cuts and changes I needed to make to the poem I took along too, so that was great. Oh, and Jenny at the Library is going to come to next week’s Book Circle discussion of A Dangerous Man (http://www.flamebooks.com) and has even read it in preparation (thanks, Jenny!), so at least there might be more than a couple of people there. Which will be nice. I’ve decided now that if there’s only a few of us and we run out of things to say, then we can always sneak off early to the pub. Heck, I’m sure Michael would approve.

Oh, and Angela who used to come to UniSWriters but left the University last year rang up for some emergency publishing information. I don’t see myself as the font of all knowledge, in any area, but it was lovely to talk to her again. My advice was, as always: send stuff out to agents/publishers before trying the self-publishing route. After all, I’m very much for having both routes to markets open (as you well know). In any case, I strongly advised her against using AuthorHouse, which she was initially keen to do – their reputation isn’t good, from what I’ve heard. Thankfully, I think I convinced her.

Back with my colleagues, we’ve had an in-depth discussion about the injustices of the social/work system with regard to non-child producing people. Now, I know I’m not a great fan of the concept of The Child, but I would like to say that I entirely agree with the provisions of maternity/paternity leave and think it’s a Good Thing. However, at the same time, I’ve always felt it discriminates strongly (as society does, to my mind) against those people who choose not to have children. I mean: hey, where’s my nice lot of leave when I produce something valuable or simply want to take a long tranche of paid/partially paid time off, eh? I don’t see why people without children can’t have some similar perks also. We all work hard enough, after all. However, I feel I’m a lone voice in this – well, Ruth at work agrees too, so perhaps together we can form a small splinter group. Child-free too.

Tonight, I’m off to Guildford Writers with the start of Chapter Three of The Gifting, so hope to get helpful comments on that. I’m still worrying about my last chapter, darn it. I did scribble down a couple of paragraphs last night, but hadn’t really got to the crux of the scene. Ah well. Perhaps it’ll all be all right on the night. You never know.

And I've written a piece of flash fiction for the next Writewords (http://www.writewords.org.uk) group challenge:

Carbon Copy
Genevieve lay back on the couch and sighed. At her feet, two scantily-clad young men massaged her lascivious toes. Bliss. They’d work their way upwards. In time. It had been a while since she’d been able to afford enough tokens for a double session and once again she thanked her long-dead grandmother for the ancient typewriter and carbon paper she’d recently discovered in the attic. It was amazing what the authorities would believe. These days.



Today’s nice things:

1. UniSWriters
2. Writing a piece of flash fiction
3. Guildford Writers

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Haircut, dinner and a peculiar number of words

For reasons I can't now explain, I booked a haircut today at 8.15am. Horror! Which, as Lynda is always always early (in fact she may well have been sitting outside the flat since last night ...), meant that Lord H and I had to be sure to be up, bathed and decent by 7am. Hell, we managed it too. Almost. But there wasn't much intelligent conversation going on, I can tell you. When it got to 8am, I decided to nip out and see if Lynda was there. She was. So I crept up to the car, leaned over the bonnet and whispered hello in my most scary Psycho fashion. My, you should have seen her jump. We both screamed. Which I'm sure the neighbours were pleased about. And she still gave me a decent haircut without cutting my ear off, so the woman is obviously a saint. I've also booked her in for highlights at the end of June, so I can look relatively interesting over the summer - so I'd better make sure to be a good client then ...

The rest of the morning was spent typing up what I've done to The Gifting thus far. And guess what! I came to the point when I'd actually typed 111,111 words. Bloody hell, I've never been there before! But I suspect that I'm never going to make it to 222,222 in one book though - at any point. Bugger. Sadly I did so enjoy realising it too - it made me feel quite binary. So much so that I kept typing another word and then deleting it just so I could go back to 111,111 again. I think it appeals to my borderline OCD Control-freak personality. Borderline? Pull the other one, eh. Anyway, you'll be relieved to know that I did manage to type some more after that in the end, and Simon is now therefore just about to face his (long) final scene - or series of linked scenes, which is what I think it'll turn out to be. Will he make it to 120,000? I can but hope.

I've also done some critiques for my Writewords (http://www.writewords.org.uk) groups, which was fun - there was a great novel beginning which had me completely hooked and some deep poetry to enjoy. I really have no idea why those ruddy publishers out there aren't taking any of this stuff on. I mean what the hell do they think they're doing? Answer: giving us way too many "poor child made good" dull tomes and celebrity claptrap, that's what. Yawn. I long for the day when the mainstream publishers will go to the wall (or at least start publishing more interesting and less copycat market stuff), and the small publishers/writer-publishers will inherit the earth. Or at least the decent shelf space.

Oh and I've found out that the reason my copies of A Dangerous Man (http://www.flamebooks.com) haven't yet arrived (I ordered them in March) is that the courier delivered them to the wrong place, and Chevonne was unfortunately on holiday till now so hasn't been able to sort it out. I'm hoping that I'll have some copies to wave around at the book circle event on 30 April, but you never can tell. Thank God I have my one reading copy, so won't look like a complete buffoon on the night. At least not for that reason.

This afternoon, I popped into Godalming to get a barrel-load of shopping, including lots of relaxation oil and a job-lot of birthday cards (why does virtually everyone I know have a birthday in May??). I think I've worried the lady in Boots though - she was telling me that if I joined the Half-Price Club I could get special discounts for any relatives I had who were over 60. She didn't take kindly to my suggestion that it might be cheaper just to bump them off and bury their bodies under the patio. Ah well. Worth a try though, I would think. Oh, and I've found out, much to my surprise (and worryingly I found this rather interesting, but see above for personality disorder paragraph ...) that when I key in the funny numbers on the card machine in order to pay, I'm happier using my left hand. Strange. Then again, all our family are cack-handed in some way or other. As for me, I write with my right hand, but I wear my watch on my right hand too, and I deal cards left-handedly and fold my arms the left-handed way. And now I can add number-keying to the left-handed list. What excitement indeed. Um, sorry. Are you still awake at the back?

Tonight, I think I'm going to have a snooze on the sofa, nicely curled up with my essential cuddly lamb, or possibly the cuddly crocodile -whichever comes to hand - and then Lord H and I are out at Robin & Gavin's for dinner. Bliss. I think Liz might be there too, so I must remember not to get over-excitable during our inevitable disagreements about art - we enjoy them, but I think Lord H gets worried. I still love Liz to bits though (even though she's wrong! - oh, sorry, that just slipped out ...). As it were.

Today's nice things:

1. My hair looks good today - hurrah!
2. Writing
3. Dinner out.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Reflexology, more reviews and the curse of the Japanese toilet

Was thrilled last night when Roger Morris (http://rogersplog.blogspot.com/), author of the marvellous Taking Comfort and the mysterious and much-praised A Gentle Axe, emailed me with a few comments on A Dangerous Man (http://www.flamebooks.com) which can be found here: http://therapsheet.blogspot.com/2007/04/looking-to-future.html under the entry for 16 April, half way down, or as below:

“Another small publisher with an interesting list, and an original approach, is Flame Books. It’s the publisher of the novel I’m reading at the moment, a crime work called A Dangerous Man, by Anne Brooke. A Dangerous Man has garnered praise from no less a writer than Andrew Taylor, who described it as “a dark and chilling parable about art, love and murder.” What’s remarkable about Anne Brooke’s work is her ability to enter convincingly and with extraordinary empathy into the milieus of her protagonists, which I imagine are very different from her own. I don’t know for sure, but I don’t believe she has that much direct experience of male homosexual prostitutes, which makes this a bold and brave book for her to write. I’m all for brave, bold books.”

Gosh, thanks, Roger. Much appreciated. I’m not sure that Michael and I ever feel either brave or bold actually, but there you go …! But, heck, both of us are really pleased you’re liking the book.

At work, it’s been slow but steady, and I’m still ploughing my way through my conference notes. Groan. I was however both cheered and brought back to reality again (as he didn’t like the ending, which is fair enough, and, for the purposes of being honest about my reviews, I’m reproducing as much as I can without spoiling the plot) by an email from Jay Mandal, author of A Different Kind of Love and Slubberdegullion amongst other work (http://www.bewrite.net), who has just finished ADM and says the following:

“I always knew you could write, and this was very, very good. I thoroughly enjoyed it … You’ve found ‘your voice’ (I hate that expression, too). Stick with it. It was taut, edgy, gripping, exciting, a page turner, and I read it slowly because I didn’t want to finish it. It was powerful and passionate, and I wished I’d written it myself. I was really on Michael’s side … The ending was the only thing where I felt let down. I don’t mean sad … I mean I thought it might have been better if it had ended differently. Obviously this is just a personal opinion … Not only did it seem too bleak, but also too out of character.”

Thanks, Jay, for all the comments. They’re much appreciated also. It’s good to get a different view but I must say that, speaking as someone who’s had Michael in her head for years, both he and I honestly feel I couldn’t have ended it any other way. It was the part of the book where his voice and mine gelled the most. Writing it that way felt fantastic and just seemed so fitting. But I do understand that people will find it difficult.

Anyway, all this excitement got me through to lunchtime, when I had a blissful reflexology session and just chilled. I think I might try some Reiki next time, as Emily (http://www.optimum-fitness.co.uk) always adds a couple of minutes of Reiki (at foot level, strange to say!) after my session and I really love it. I certainly need to get my energy levels in some kind of balance, but heck I’ve always known that.

Oh, and Lord H has told me there is apparently some kind of excitement over the curse of the Japanese toilet on the news. It appears that the new craze in Japan is to have electronically heated toilets/bidets (gross thought in itself!) which do virtually everything for you bar the washing-up (though maybe that’s not a good phrase to use in the same sentence as “bidet” …). Unfortunately, the electronics has gone wrong so some of them burst into flame without warning. Scary!! So just when you thought that all you had was a nice warm bottom, beware … Nobody’s been injured yet (thank goodness! Though how could you ever tell anyone!?...), so thank God for small mercies, eh …

Tonight, I might do a bit of scribbling but we’ll see. I’m also aiming to watch “Sea of Souls” on TV, which is probably too scary for my delicate constitution, but I do enjoy the classy pap of it.

And finally, on a more serious note and bearing in mind my part-time paid occupation, I’d like to extend sympathies and a terrified kind of understanding to the staff and students of Virginia Tech University. Dear God, it could happen to any of us institutions here in the Higher Education world, as it’s already happened in too many schools. But why oh why didn’t they at least try to shut the whole darn thing down after the first incident?? I know it’s a virtually impossible task in something the size and structure of a normal campus, but you would have thought something could have been done. I hope we’ll all learn lessons from this, in every way. Please God.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Second Amazon review and A Stranger's Table request

Great joy this morning to discover a second five-star Amazon review (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Dangerous-Man-Anne-Brooke/dp/0954594568/ref=sr_1_4/202-0915331-5590251?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1176559428&sr=8-4) for A Dangerous Man (thanks, Sue! Great pseudonym too!...), which I reproduce below:

"I thought the novel was suspenseful, unsettling and well paced and took me into a world that is totally alien to me; that of gay men and the art world. Although the main character, Michael, is not your normal type of hero - in fact he is a very dark personality indeed - I felt a real empathy for him and I found myself rooting for him until the end (even when he had stepped over the boundary into criminality). The final chapters of the book are gripping as the shadows that have been stalking Michael come to the surface and threaten to ruin his all too brief taste of success. There is a sense of foreboding as the reader realises that there is surely tragedy ahead for Michael and the people who surround him. I thought the writing throughout was excellent, particularly in the final more violent scenes, and I found it easy to visualise what was being played out in front of me. I was sorry to be coming to the end of the novel so I left the final few chapters until later in the day to savour reading them - what a sign of a good book that is!"

Glad you enjoyed it, ... um, Poohbunny(!), and thanks for putting it up there. Much appreciated!

I've also, much to my delight, had a request for A Stranger's Table (http://www.poetrymonthly.com), which has cheered me no end. Hey, someone out there likes poetry! So, many thanks, Richard - and a signed copy will be in the post to you on Monday. Finally, as the ultimate hat-trick, I see I am in this month's edition of Writers' News (http://www.writersnews.co.uk), and that Michael and Flame (http://www.flamebooks.com) are mentioned, so that's lovely too. All three of us are very pleased, I'm sure.

The rest of my day so far has been spent lolling around aimlessly and squeezing out some more words to The Gifting. I've also attempted to contact my agent, but at the moment it seems to be a one-way track so I'm not holding out a great deal of hope (John? Are you there? Come out if you're still in the building ...). Perhaps he'll show greater interest once I've completed the novel, especially as fantasy is his genre of expertise - there's always that hope anyway! And, of course, as I'm very much a Z-list author, I imagine there's not a deal of point in him spending much time on me until I can deliver the goods. So, don't wait up then, at least not in terms of the big publishers, methinks ... Sigh.

And I've just watched An American in Paris on TV - lost of fun with Gene Kelly, the joys of tap-dance and some good one-liners, though I could have done without the ridiculous dance schmalz extravaganza at the end. A wasted ten minutes there, to my mind. Though I loved the character of the cynical concert pianist - great!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Lord H has entered one of his periodic silent zones (more silent than usual anyway ...), during which he speaks to no-one, particularly me, and mooches round the flat sulking. I've learnt over the years that he's best left to it, and am hoping that he emerges from the male cave in a day or two. Question to the boys: just what is it you do in that darn cave anyway??! Last year, he actually managed a week, but then again I was out a lot in the evenings that time, so may not have noticed as much (bad wife! Bad wife!...). Still, we'll see, and if I want idle chatter, I can always switch the TV on. Or ring Mother (yikes! That's worse!). Mind you, the good thing is that during such times, he does get a lot of DIY done, and even now is doing something peculiar with a new bookcase. So it's not all bad news and lettuce. (Lord B-I-L: if you're there, and have any good family tips, don't keep them to yourself!!...)

Tonight, I'm hoping they'll show Dr Who and it won't be kicked out due to overtime in some silly sports match or other (pause for brickbats to be lobbed!...). And I might try for some more scribbling. Might even get to the end of a page - who knows?

Today's nice things:

1. The Amazon review
2. The request for A Stranger's Table
3. Being in Writers' News magazine

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Counselling, virtual worlds and a wasp battle

Had to get up at a non-writers time today (ie before 9am - ye gods, how will I survive the length of the day?...) in order to get to my Counselling appointment this morning. We talked about families and church. So no change there then. But I have now got to the point when I realise that, for the moment, I'm not going to go back to St Peter's. And I'm not looking for another CofE church to replace them either. Hell, it feels like a decision, and it also feels as if I'm finally - at least in one small part of life - attempting to be me and make my own choices. Rather than attempting to please everyone else and do what is expected. I may well go to the local Quaker meeting in Godalming this Sunday, but it will depend on how I feel on the day. We'll see. It is interesting though that last week I did finally get round to opening the bumph the Quakers sent me a couple of months ago. The envelope has been lurking at the side of the sofa for so long that I was starting to forget about it entirely. But it's open now, and even partially read. Again, we'll see.

Kunu's parting shot this morning was to say that I should look into enjoying more in life, rather than being hung up with achieving lots. She's said it before, I know, but it doesn't come easily. Maybe my achievement conveyor-belt lifestyle is what's stopping me being me, properly at least. Hmm, another thought to ponder a while. I fear. Anyway, whilst in town, I mooched around Marks & Spencer for a while, wondering where all the lovely things they show us on TV are actually kept, and failing to find them. Asking an assistant is way too much commitment. But I did find some nice t-shirts for £5, and in a 3-for-2 offer, so may well pop back in on Saturday to make real-live purchases. If it comes under my new enjoyment quota, that is.

At home, I've typed up more of the current scene from The Gifting onto the computer. And I know where that part of the book is going now, so that's clarified things for me. Just have to write the ruddy stuff really. Once again, a slower writing day today, but it's - hell - enjoyable.

I've also broken my one last connection with St Peter's; I've cancelled my standing order to them, emailed the church treasurer to tell him this (though I don't expect any reply, as these days it seems that neither church people nor my old university set have the courtesy to answer any of my missives any more. At least not in ways I can understand, bitch bitch!...). In its place, I've sent off a form to give regular payments to the Yvonne Arnaud theatre (http://www.yvonne-arnaud.co.uk) in Guildford. Well, I've worked out that I get far more enjoyment from the theatre than I do from the church, so what the hell, eh.

This afternoon, I paid Gladys a short visit - she was worrying about dandelions in the garden and a small fallen tree, but has a man coming on Monday to sort it out. I'm always a great approver of men who come to sort things out. A wonderful and dying breed. Sadly. Also, I was incredibly brave (for me) as there was a nasty looking wasp in her living room whilst we were talking, and I managed to (a) not scream and run sobbing from her house, and (b) get rid of it through the window for her. Really, I'm astonished at myself. It's probably my Courage Quota for the month. Maybe even the year. And please God don't let there be the swarms of wasps there were last year - I really can't stand it! It's like being invaded. In my own home too. Damn it.

Ooh, and Flame Books (http://www.flamebooks.com) have joined Myspace (http://www.myspace.com/flamebooks) and sent me a Friends invite. Thanks, Sean! Much appreciated, and welcome to the strange virtual world we all dwell in these days. Sadly though, so far I seem to be Sean's only friend, so I hope his social calendar fills up soon. If Michael had a Myspace profile, I'd send him round at once, of course.

Talking of virtual worlds, I must admit that I have times of getting really fed up with the Writewords (http://www.writewords.org.uk) world these days. It is (or it was) a good site, and the Groups are great, but I think the forums are getting way too cumbersome and sometimes downright unfriendly these days. Possibly it might be a victim of its own success, which is a shame. Recently I've found myself trying not to get involved with it quite so much, and I definitely feel far less supported on there than I used to be. There's just too many people, and the personal touch has gone, to my mind. Though I really don't want to leave it entirely, especially as parts of the site are incredibly useful, actually I feel far happier on Myspace, to be honest.

And I've just finished reading Jed Rubenfeld's The Interpretation of Murder. Marvellous novel - a pleasure to read, although I do think it was rather too convoluted, especially towards the end. But that doesn't matter, as the characters are just so hot, and it's got some top-notch one liners. A delight really. Go out and read it before they make the film.

Tonight, I'm planning some more scribbling, and it's Catherine Tate on TV later. Bliss. I love her. We redheads must stick together. I always admire a woman with attitude. Bliss.

Today's nice things:

1. Writing
2. Winning a battle with a wasp - for once
3. The pleasures of Rubenfeld's book.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Amazon review and a better writing day

Was thrilled yesterday to get an email from an old school friend whom I haven't heard from for ages - it really made my evening, and my morning today indeed as she replied to my reply, hurrah! We're currently trying to make a date for catch-up, now we're both over our 2006-ish traumas (God, what a year that was ...), so hope I'll be able to see her soon. Not only that but the thrice-blessed woman has actually gone and ordered my books through Amazon - for which huge thanks indeed. This means that for the first time in a long time my Pink Champagne and Apple Juice (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) Amazon rating has gone up to 5 figures instead of the usual 6, and A Dangerous Man (http://www.flamebooks.com) and A Stranger's Table (http://www.poetrymonthly.com) have both received their first rating entirely. Doubt any of them will remain at the 5 figure marker for long though, but it's nice to see for today at least.

And talking of Amazon, Michael has received his first review!! A five-star one at that. My cup indeed runneth over. The link (but be warned - it does carry some spoilers so look away from the next paragraph now if you haven't read it yet!) is: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Dangerous-Man-Anne-Brooke/dp/0954594568/ref=sr_1_4/202-0915331-5590251?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1176304434&sr=8-4 and the actual text is:

“I read this book in two sittings. My first thoughts were God! I wish I felt as passionate about anything as Michael does about his art … 'Fingers, hand, pencil even thought are one ... as the glow burns ... explodes like a shock of water'. The whole time I was thinking this is how a writer feels, an artist feels … For me he became a man obsessed with his need to understand and to try to express the dichotomy existing within him. To understand how to make sense of existing in an alien external world full of darkness and acute, cutting edges so at odds with his gentler sensuous vulnerable interior life. Jack, the urbane, the sophisticated, symbolised all he aspired to. As I read on I felt this was the nub of the real tragedy, a man torn between two such potent desires and that there wasn't going to be an easy answer. But I was totally unprepared for the final part. This novel reaches the height of true tragedy. I couldn't bear for Michael to destroy the man he loved, the gentle, the sensuous, loving part of himself. I found it more grievous to bear than anything I've ever read, at least Othello was torn by motives of jealousy. But the final pages of ADM revealed the horrific dilemma of a young man programmed by his abusive background and in the last resort unable to escape it. I wept for Michael, I wept for the pity of it all. This is a far greater book than the much acclaimed 'Line of Beauty' which lacks the driving energy of your theme. It just has to do well.”

End of Spoiler Alert! And huge thanks to Megsl who gave me that review. I really appreciate it. I'm glad too that you think it's better than Line of Beauty - especially as that was a book I couldn't stand, even though it won the Booker. Lord knows why - a load of twaddle to my mind, and dull twaddle at that. And nothing at all like the 80s. Michael, bless him, wouldn't have got on with any of them.

The rest of my day has been spent scribbling more of the childhood escape scene in The Gifting. It's flowing a lot easier today - again, Lord knows why - and I'm feeling quite enthused about it. So much so that I suspect the scene will be longer than I anticipated at the outset and will take on something of its own life and length. Which is good news for me if that happens as really, m'dears, I don't have a fecking clue most of the ruddy time what I'm supposed to be doing. And also good news for Simon, as it's a key scene which unlocks much of what has happened. Again, I hope. But honestly who can tell? If bloody LOB won the bloody Booker, ye gods, none of us is safe from disappearing up our own arses. And, yes, you can quote me on that.

By the way, did I mention Michael got a five-star review on Amazon?

And I really must say how utterly marvellous last night's final episode of Life on Mars was. It had me gripped all the way through, and the ending was full of wonderful twists and turns which we just soooo right. The final scenes were perfect. In every sense. Which, as I mentioned to Laura on MySpace (http://www.myspace.com/lauracwilkinson) earlier just goes to show that we have every right to kick the buggers who say that TV is not an art form into permanent touch. From last night's viewing (and indeed other programmes) it most certainly is. But, hell, I'm going to miss Sam & Gene and the gang. Pass me the ruddy tissues ...

Speaking of which, there's not a ruddy thing on TV tonight, as far as I can see, so I may have to watch a mindless video (an art form in its own right, surely) or scribble some more of the novel. We'll see.

Oh, and did I say that Michael got a five-star Amazon review? He's really so pleased.

Today's nice things:

1. Michael got a five-star ... hell, you can guess the rest
2. Hearing from my old schoolfriend
3. Having a day when the writing seemed to work - hurrah!

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com

Michael reaches the Amazon ...

Rather cold-ridden today, I'm afraid, so have been lolling on the sofa with smelling salts pressed to my nose and a wet flannel clutched to my forehead. How charming. I like to think I'm a modern-day Lydia Languish, but fear the true image is more prosaic than that. Ah well. Never put your daughter on the stage.

I was going to do lots of writing, and leap into Godalming to stock up on essential oils and the Surrey Advertiser, not to mention visiting Gladys, but I have done none of the above. Well, I have done some writing, though as the stuff I put into The Gifting balanced more or less with the stuff I took out, the wordcount remains similar, alas. Ha! I've always wanted to use "alas" in a sentence and now I have. Hurrah. That said, I now have Simon almost at the end of his water experiences, which means I only have two big scenes to go and then the first draft is done. Ye gods indeed. The penultimate scene is his final story-telling one, which will be - I hope - the key to everything. I'm not starting it today though. I need a fresh morning for that. And a less snotty nose. But I might well do another poem on art - there's one lurking somewhere in the ether so I'll have to see whether I can entice it out. It'll be something to do while Lord H is at the Maundy Thursday service tonight doing his server duties and keeping the priest in order.

Which brings me to Michael (somehow!) who has finally made it into the clutches of Amazon and can be found here: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Dangerous-Man-Anne-Brooke/dp/0954594568/ref=sr_1_4/202-0915331-5590251?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1175785414&sr=8-4

No cover picture yet, though I have queried this with Flame (http://www.flamebooks.com), and no ratings of course, but at least he's there. So if anyone out there has read A Dangerous Man and feels able to put a few comments up on Amazon at anytime, please feel free to do so! I'd be very grateful (as long as you're not too rude!...). Talking of which, the lovely Erastes (http://www.myspace.com/erastesdotcom) has just started reading ADM and has already reached the one night stand scene. Ah, but it becomes so much more ... and glad you're enjoying it, Erastes!

Tonight, I've cancelled my counselling session with Kunu (it was moved from this morning), but I'm glad not to be going anywhere, to be honest. Instead, I'll be watching my video of "Life on Mars" from Tuesday, and working my way through my secret store of Lucozade bottles. Oh, and there's chocolate in the house ... chocolate, hmm ...

Today's nice things:

1. Michael being on Amazon
2. Life on Mars
3. Getting Simon to the start of his two ending scenes.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

The red-lipped phone

Lord H’s alarm failed to go off this morning, but I was only ten minutes late from my planned getting up time, so it could have been far worse. Heck, we probably needed the extra time anyway. Oh, and I must say that last night’s TV production of “Northanger Abbey” was marvellous – a perfect lead and a great interpretation. It really cheered me up. Naturally, that hasn’t stopped the Monday morning post-holiday blues though, but hey there you go.

However, Ruth has cheered me up by swopping my standard work phone for one made up of an enormous pair of red lips – I absolutely loved it and wish it could be mine for ever, but apparently it (the phone, not the pair of lips …) belongs to Ruth’s mother and has to go home. Shame … it’s just the sort of thing to ring Lord H on!

I spent the rest of the morning catching up on emails and actually getting level with myself on the work front. Hurrah! And the usual bliss when 12noon came and went appeared too – it’s like a weight lifting off my shoulders when Monday afternoon arrives. I minuted the Student Care Services Steering Group at lunchtime – the boss had half a ton of tabled papers, which is always a bit of a pain as it means I actually have to scrabble round for internal envelopes and post them to non-attenders, rather than rely on the simplicity of an email. Almost like being a real secretary then …

And this feeling was compounded by spending the afternoon typing up the minutes. With the bliss of a 5pm finish today, as it’s outside term-time for the students. How we love our vacation hours indeed. It’s that extra half-hour between 5 and 5.30pm that’s always so killing to the soul.

Ooh, and the lovely Caroline on Myspace (http://www.myspace.com/caroline_biesse) loves "A Dangerous Man" (http://www.flamebooks.com) so much that she's advertising it on the book section of her profile. Thanks, Caroline! Michael and I both appreciate it very much. And he loves your new photo by the way (as do I!), though we do miss the hat ...

Tonight, Lord H is finishing off his divorce essay, which he’s much happier with now. He’s apparently learnt that the Bible tells him that husbands need to provide wives with food and clothing – don’t ask me for the reference though! Aha, I have a lot to catch up on then (pause for evil wife laughter …). Luckily, the same reference doesn’t give any particular duties for wives. Sound of more evil wife laughter then. And while he’s doing that, I’m planning to watch my video of last week’s “Life on Mars” and wait for my luggage to turn up. Ho ho. I live in hope, don’t I? …

Today’s nice things:

1. The red-lipped phone
2. Passing the noontide hour relatively unscathed
3. Caroline's profile page!

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com/
http://www.goldenford.co.uk/

Counselling and time for thought

A very intense counselling session with Kunu today, but a worthwhile one too. She's halfway through "A Dangerous Man" (http://www.flamebooks.com) and is finding it "gripping", so that felt nice. We talked about family and my place in it - a subject we looked at briefly last week, but in more depth today. To be honest, I got rather tearful about it but even that felt like a good place to be. A couple of times towards the end of our hour, I couldn't talk at all, as I needed to mull on stuff - but Kunu's okay with that. It's good to have somewhere where I can be silent. God, how I need that sometimes. Not that my family was an obviously difficult place to be - we were well-off, we lived in the country or, later, a nice part of the town, we took foreign holidays, etc etc. All facts which make it more difficult to look back and think that, yes, it may have been good, but it wasn't good for me.

I think it would have been better if I'd been able, at all, to get on for any length of time with my two older brothers - or they with me - but that never happened. And, no, we don't talk now. We haven't for years. My decision - it was the right one to take at the time (though the most difficult decision I've ever had to make) and it's still the right one now. And, yes, that makes me - on the outside - the cause of the family split, but at the same time I think it helps me (slowly, so slowly ...) to work towards wholeness. I don't think either of them have ever, apart from one or two notable and short-lived occasions, been my friends. And, in fact, today I would probably count both as my enemies - though it's an animosity that's been very subtly demonstrated over the years. What I remember from my childhood relationship with my siblings is a fairly constant sniping, the assumption that I was unworthy of notice and a good stooge for mockery. I also felt, particularly after my father died, that there was nobody prepared to fight my corner and I was essentially alone. I suspect that might be natural in families (fathers favour daughters, and mothers sons - hey, 'twas ever thus!), but it doesn't make it any easier to live in the environment, believe me. It might have been easier though if I'd actually made any friends at primary school, but I hadn't worked out the trick of doing that yet (that came with secondary school, thank God). The scrawny child in the playground corner? Yep, that's me. Ye gods, and then people wonder at my lack of self-esteem. Being myself with somebody else is the most difficult thing. Almost impossible. Sometimes I'm astonished when I can relate to people at all.

So, as you can see - intensive, which has made it a day for thought. And recovering from the feeling that I've just taken two steps over the bloody trenches with only an overwhelming need to discover where I left my self, and a counsellor, for company. Interesting too, that in my slow drift from the counselling session to where I'd parked a car, I met a friend coming the other way who'd also been to his counselling session. A fact about each other neither had known before. God, but Guildford is full of headcases. But on the whole we're harmless. I hope.

At home, I've flipped idly through the Radio Times, whilst sipping my decaff coffee. It felt like being normal. Which I've needed this afternoon. I've been thinking too. About how the times when I've felt most happy in myself have come from my christianity, and my relationship with Lord H. And with one or two friends when I can let the mask slip a little. No, I don't like that language. Sorry. The mask is part of me too. Something I use and dwell in. It's more like allowing another layer to surface and to exist for a while in a conversation, I think. It's happened with Jane W and Jane H, and one or two others from my past, but no-one else that I can remember. At least not face-to-face. I find it's easier to be me to the people I know only through the means of writing. It feels like a truer medium there. Most of my conversations otherwise are entertainment, not connection.

Neither is God the connection I so longed for him to be when I made my commitment when I was 18. No. Not true either. It worked for a while, but I think I was covering the issues, not dealing with them. Not that I could have dealt with them then on any level - it's only now that there seems to be time and space to think. Maybe, when I finally walked away from Evangelical christianity (I count myself as an Evangelical survivor, in so many ways) when I was 28 was in fact my first real step to adulthood, I don't know. Since then, God has become mistier, more unclear and so very uncertain. And I've tried so hard to pretend that's not so. Now, I gain every so often a sense of connection with him, but it's as if I'm walking along a path by myself which is lined by very thick woods. Now and then, there's a movement in the woods, and I sense someone might be there other than myself, but I can't see anything, not really, and the silence soons comes again. God, to me, is like that. For me, anyone who says otherwise is a liar.

In the middle of all this, I have done a few more words to "The Gifting". And yes, Simon does get sea-sick. I'm good at vomit. Tonight, I was supposed to be (a) going up to London to a Writewords (http://www.writewords.org.uk) get-together, or (b) going dancing with my non-existent dance partner, but I'm doing neither. Tonight I need to be at home. With Lord H. Watching TV and resting. God, yes, that will be good.

Today's nice things:

1. Counselling
2. Talking briefly with the friend I met in Guildford
3. Thinking.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Branding, minutes and more reviews

Relatively early to bed last night, so feel much less like a squeezed-out sponge today, thank goodness. Mind you, I’ve been feeling specially cheered by “A Dangerous Man” (http://www.flamebooks.com/) reader reactions, including Jane H’s brother, who thought it was excellent (thanks, Jane’s brother – much appreciated!) and Ruth at work who thought it was terrifying and gripping (thanks, Ruth!). Both comments mean a lot.

Also, Rhian from Crimeficreader (http://itsacrime.typepad.com/) has at last received a copy of ADM for reviewing – the first one is still wandering around Wales somewhere – and says she thinks Flame have done an excellent job on the look and layout. Yes, I think so too – so thanks to Flame for that. Now, all I have to do is wait for Rhian’s review … scary …

I’ve also managed to get the Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk/) minutes done – we’re looking forward to the publication of Jay Margrave’s “The Gawain Quest” in June, and are also looking into our first non-fiction book, focusing on eBay sales. It’s nice to ring the changes, and I hope they both do well. They deserve to. Oh, and in case anyone is curious, as of this point “Pink Champagne and Apple Juice” has sold 104 copies since last June. This may be small fry to you big hitters out there, but I’m always pleased when I go over the 100 marker. Believe me, it doesn’t happen often. Oh, and … um … actual sales of “A Stranger’s Table” (http://www.poetrymonthly.com) – rather than those I’ve given away as review copies or presents – is six. Which just goes to show that (a) poetry doesn’t sell, no matter how many awards you may have won for the contents, and (b) you should never produce two books in one month, as one will suffer big-time. Well, I’ve certainly learnt my lesson there, believe me!

This lunchtime, we had the Student Support Services Branding Project meeting – which isn’t, as Lord H thinks, a cunning plan to brand students when they join so we always know which department to send them back to. No, even we in the shires aren’t that cruel. Yet … aha! No, we’re trying to link different support services across our very higgledy-piggedly campus together so students can access everything they might need when they see our new brand sign. This should prevent them getting lost and milling round weeping. Oh no, sorry, that’s what I do when I can’t find my way (again) to the Management School. I have, as Carol at work tells me, special geographical needs … heck, I always knew it! All that said, it was a really good meeting (shock! horror!) – I feel quite inspired about our hoped-for improvements. Lots of website & new brochure stuff for me to do – I like to get my teeth stuck into something. Hope it works out all right.

Oh, and joy! Les M at the meeting told me (with real astonishment in his voice) how good the poems in “A Stranger’s Table” were – heck, that’s cheered me up no end as regards the poetry! Now if only I can persuade him actually to buy something …

And, talking of which, I’ve (possibly sadly?) written a poem about Michael. Maybe this is another way of saying goodbye. Again, we’ll see. Here it is:

A Dangerous Man – a final act

I want to write something
to say you’ve been here,
both friend and enemy
at different times,
sometimes at the same time.

You’ve never been dull,
even when I have been so.
Gripping, seductive, wild
in a way I can never be,
you’ve enticed me away from my self
towards a deeper self
I’d never know before.

You’re a part of me,
you see,
though I set you
as a man apart,
someone I talk to
in my mind’s dark caverns,
someone who talks to me,
whose story I can tell,
have told now.

Michael, you’re still so close
that I can feel you moving
under my skin.
My blood pulses with yours,
your limbs align to mine.
You’re the life I’ve never dared
to live
and at the heart of it we are one:
my tantalising shadow
to the sun.


Tonight, I’m worshipping at the great Tesco’s mall, and then it’s an evening in – at last! Might try to catch up on “Life on Mars” which I videoed yesterday. We’ll see.

Today’s nice things:

1. Getting nice reader feedback for “A Dangerous Man” & “A Stranger’s Table” – hurrah!
2. Michael finally arriving in Wales successfully – phew!
3. Selling 104 Champers all in all.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com/