Showing posts with label retreat. Show all posts
Showing posts with label retreat. Show all posts

Thursday, June 09, 2011

Writing? It's riskier than you think ...

Book News:

NB THIS VERY LONG SECTION HAS BEEN REMOVED DUE TO LEGAL NEGOTIATIONS WITH THE PUBLISHER CONCERNED, AT THEIR REQUEST.

Meanwhile, back in the quieter world of writing (remember that?), The Gifting is now available for purchase at All Romance Ebooks. And, hey, selling a few might even help towards my legal bills, so at last I must have made it as a serious writer, ho ho! I'm also pleased to say I've received my first review for the book, and it's a 5-star one, so many thanks, Sarah, for that - I'm thrilled you enjoyed the read.

Speaking of reviews, The Art of The Delaneys gained a 4.5 star review at Top 2 Bottom Reviews - thank you, Lisa!

I've also uploaded a review of Apex Hides the Hurt by Colson Whitehead at Vulpes Libris, which is an interesting satire, but rather too heavy for my taste. Worth a look though.

Just one meditation poem this week so far:




Meditation 535
Bakbakkah
is an angry man.
He stands at street corners
and glowers.

He chews over
the wrongs of the past.
His griefs
come in showers

and he’s never content.
Pity him.


Life News:

I have a life? Goodness me. Delights of this week include the discovery that we have a nesting song-thrush just outside the spare room window (where I work at my computer), which is lovely. She doesn't seem disturbed by our comings and goings either, or even when we open the window, so we're hoping for the pitter patter of tiny bills at some stage. I'll keep you posted.

On the other hand, we heard mid-week that our vendors' solicitors have apparently been waiting (for about 3.5 months now) for us to sell our flat first (some hope, eh ...) before they do anything with the purchase we're trying to make from them - and this in spite of the fact that we've told them five times that our buying their client's house does not in any way depend on the selling of our flat. Deeeep groan - no wonder nothing's happening ... Anyway, their incompetence and inability to listen has meant that, if nothing happens by tomorrow (Friday), then we're withdrawing our offer and frankly they can whistle for it. Tough luck to them is our view. We prefer a house we can actually buy.

Anyway, today, my head filled with bitterness and fantastical thoughts of revenge (so the ideal moment really ...), I've gone on a planned retreat day at the Acorn Christian Healing Foundation which was very nice indeed, despite the evangelical tone, which I don't warm to. Why, oh why does one have to sing a chorus three times when the words meant so little the first time round? It's a holy mystery indeed ... However, there were a couple of interesting talks, I found some like-minded folk, which was lovely, and also had a wonderfully quiet chill-out time in the garden. Bliss.

Anne Brooke

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

The joy of the garden

Another retreat today - this time in Chertsey (hell to find, but I got there) - and this time about transformation. I didn't think much of the speaker (or most of the people indeed) who was way too evangelical for me. Do these people not realise there are other ways to be a Christian?? It also all seemed a bit too 1970s in style. Anyway, I ignored most of what the leader was trying to make us think, and simply enjoyed the garden. Which was beautiful. I had such a feeling of peace and enjoyment whilst sitting in it, which was bliss. And I wrote a lot of poems, even did some drawings too, which helped. A lot.

Here's a couple of the poems:

Thoughts on being on retreat, July 2007

(i)
I don’t say amen to the prayer.
Probably I’m the only one
who’s listening.


(ii)
Nothing in church
has pleased me half as much
as leaving it.


(iii)
Please God
if I never have to read
a Christian book again

it won’t be a moment
too soon.


(iv)
The best retreat
is not having to think
about God at all

but just sitting
in the garden, enjoying
the grass, the air, the birds

and me.


As you can see, I entered retreat in my own particular way. And very rejuvenating it was too. Lunch was good at the retreat house as well. As were the chocolate biscuits. Ace! When I write my book on chocolate and prayer, I swear it will be a bestseller.

This evening, I've seen Kunu again for counselling. Had a very good session today - we talked a lot about being an individual and accepting that I don't particularly want to have strong family relationships. Hell, it's just the way I am. And, actually, I'm happy with it. The older I get, the more I grow apart from those I grew up with, and actually the journey for me is a good one. Again, when I write my book on how to move on from your blood relations and be happy, I'm sure it will be a bestseller!

This evening, I'm packing for tomorrow's long weekend away. So I won't journal anything again till Monday, possibly Sunday. Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Today's nice things:

1. Chocolate biscuits
2. The retreat centre garden
3. Counselling.

Anne Brooke
Anne's website
Pink Champagne and Apple Juice
Goldenford Publishers

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Renewing the bodymind - very, very slowly ...

All day retreat today, as part of the Diocesan Summer School. Should have gone on one last week, but couldn't be arsed and I was actually busy with the Thorn in the Flesh edit. Panicked hugely about getting there, even though it was only in Woking, but Lord H found a better route than I'd anticipated and in the end it was fine. The only problem was it was held in St Columba's House Woking which, frankly, has to be the least welcoming retreat house in the UK. I've been before, and had the same feeling of despair and lack of anyone friendly or even willing to tell you where you should park or which room you should be in. Lordy lordy, but this time was a struggle as well. They really need to raise the level of their customer service game. Ye gods, but even I know how to smile when people come into the office. At St Columba's, the people in the office (when I eventually found it) all turned round and stared at me as if I was the devil himself paying them a visit. Or perhaps they know me better than I thought? Hmm ...

Anyway, once the lovely Viv Stacey had turned up and was leading us through the "Renewing the Bodymind" day, things calmed down all right. I've been on one of her courses before and they're really good. Though this year, what with one thing and another, I wasn't concentrating as much. I think I got the most out of her breathing meditations - so simple, but it does make you aware that prayer goes on in the body too. Not just the mind. It's how we feel and our physical selves too. And also good to be reminded that words get in the way of the silence. Sometimes I do think that the church is full of words words words, and only God is quiet. Oh, and I found myself sitting next to two more Annes, one from Godalming, so that was nice. The other Anne from Godalming was great as a lunch companion. In the course of one hour, we managed to discuss when churchgoing becomes impossible at all, how to survive the fall-out, the value of silent retreats (ace, in my opinion), how God can be really disappointing at times and what the Buddhists can teach us. And we didn't talk all the time either.

The funny thing (and the thing that got me most) was that during the afternoon, we had a brief session on Gospel encounters involving restorative touch, and we were all given a passage to look at and think about. Mine was the story of the woman who'd touched the edge of Jesus' cloak to try to cure her bleeding, and been healed of her illness. It took me right back to last year where, during one of Viv Stacey's retreats, I'd had a picture in my mind of doing exactly the same thing, but this time Jesus had stopped, turned round, faced me and given me the whole cloak instead. I don't often get these pictures, and so rarely indeed these days, and they always pack a punch. Anyway I was glad to be reminded of it again.

Post-course, I've done a Tesco shop and bought some light-hearted books for Mother to read if she gets bored with hospital mags next week. And I've typed up the Goldenford minutes.

Tonight, Lord H is out at the Village Hall Committee (groans of boredom ...) and I'm going to do a little writing, possibly some flash fiction for the Writewords Flash Fiction II group. We'll see if I can get any inspiration.

And, coincidentally enough, I've just finished reading Reclaiming the Body in Christian Spirituality, edited by Thomas Ryan. It's about using the body in meditation and developing the essential link between mind, body and spirit. Which I feel is so important. However, I don't think the book made much of an impression, to be honest. Actually doing the thing is far better. Or attempting to, rather!

Apart from all that, I do feel very drained and rather low at the moment. I'm dragging myself round the flat, attempting to do only one thing at a time. It's the only thing to do at times like these, I think. Ah well.

Today's nice things:

1. Talking with the other Anne of Godalming
2. Remembering the image of the cloak
3. Not having to go out this evening.

Anne Brooke
Anne's website
Pink Champagne and Apple Juice
Goldenford Publishers

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Space for me and my men

Bloody hell, but that was a valuable weekend. I'd been dreading it beforehand thinking: should I go? should I stay at home? can I get to Bristol (and back) in one piece? But I'm glad I made the effort. And yes I made it through the wind and rain and lorries, and I'm back now. With my usual post-travel headache, but feeling something's changed inside. Which can only be a good thing.

So, Enneagram 2 - me and my relationships was the focus. On the technical side, as a Moody Romantic 4 (the Enneagram circle has nine numbers which you have greater or lesser leanings towards - I'm a 4), I've found out about how I can use my Loner neighbour (5 - the number which I do think Lord H is, by the way, but it's up to each person to work it out for themselves, so it's only my opinion!) and my Movie Star neighbour (3) in circumstances where that will be helpful, and also how my strongest links in times of stress & security are to the Perfectionist 1 and the Helper 2. And thinking about it, I do love so much to be at home (like a 5) so I can recharge, and I also do perform in public (like a 3), probably as a defence mechanism. Also, I think that when I'm stressed, I get obsessive about why things aren't perfect in some circumstances, and on flattering people so they don't attack me in others. Both of which actions are like the 1 and the 2 on the circle. Same with the security points really - when I'm feeling safe, I like the feeling of being in control (like a 1) and I also feel better able to help others (like a 2). Ye gods, Sherlock, it's all beginning to make sense. To me anyway.

Oh, and being a 4, I do love talking about myself, which explains the last paragraph - welcome to Anne's ego trip. Enjoy the ride ...

But far and away the best part of the weekend was what I feel I got out of the meditation/body work sessions (they focus on the combination of the physical and the spiritual at Emmaus House, which is something I appreciate). During the two meditations, we were asked to focus on our inner self and to hold that self with love and care. Not something I do very often, if I'm honest. For a while, I didn't really know what I was supposed to be doing, but then it came to me that it wasn't just me in that space. It was Michael too. And someone else. Which (in my tradition and understanding) I'd probably call God, but other people might call something else. The question I was asking, and which Michael was asking too, was: did I do okay? is it enough? And the answer was: yeah, you did good. It's enough. And then an overwhelming feeling of acceptance. No. More than that. Affirmation. Sounds simple, I know, but always the big question hanging over me in everything I do has been: is it good enough? am I good enough? And after five years of struggle with the book, the question becomes too huge to lose even on publication, believe me. To have it answered at least in terms of "A Dangerous Man" (http://www.flamebooks.com) and Michael in a way that means something to me and on a deep level is frankly revolutionary.

It also, I think, has freed something up in me in the way I've tried to ignore Michael and the Michael parts of me in my attempts to relate to God. After this weekend, I feel more that God might actually see the whole picture and not be as surprised or afraid of it as I am. Maybe (just maybe, mind ...) when that great supreme being in the sky looks at me, he already sees Michael, and Paul, and Simon, and ... whoever, as well and is even pleased that I've begun to acknowledge them too. Maybe even they can be part of the plan. Bloody hell, eh?...

Well. Phew. A lot to be pondering on, as you can see. But there were some lighter moments along the way - including having an ensuite room which had a toilet with only one wall between it and the window. And, um no other cover, not even a door. So, as Lord H said on the phone, more of an "en" than a "suite". I had to be jolly careful not to lean forward after getting off the throne (as it were) or everyone on the Bristol highway had a prime view of my unmentionables. Which may explain the amount of shrieking that appeared to go on at 2am on Saturday morning. Perhaps the Bristol youth were letting off steam at the horror of it all ...

Back home, I have yet to face the unpacking, but Lord H has done some cleaning (what a superhero - he now has huge numbers of Husband Points), so I'll leave it till next week. What a slut I am indeed. And tonight, it's "Lewis" on TV, so a slob-out opportunity. Hurrah.

Ooh, and for the first time, I've won the Writewords (http://www.writewords.org.uk) Flash Fiction II weekly competition with my "Another Time, Another Place" story, so that's a nice feeling for sure. And it means I have to set next week's competition - aha! the power! the power! My Enneagram 4 ego is loving it, dahlings!

This week's haiku:

Gravel and water,
sunlight, birdsong, a cool wind:
time and space to breathe.

This weekend's nice things:

1. Having space with Michael and God
2. The unexpected sense of peace
3. Laughing at the toilet arrangements.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Friday, March 02, 2007

On retreat and Flame reviews

Had a fairly logical packing session last night for the retreat I'm on this weekend at Emmaus House (http://www.emmaushouse.org.uk). I'm doing the second Enneagram course focusing on relationships. So, by the time I come back, I'm hoping that Lord H, my three imaginary menfolk and I will all be living in perfect harmony. Still, we don't do so badly at the moment, all things considered and at least no-one's turned up in a white coat. Yet.

And Lord H has finished "A Dangerous Man" (http://www.flamebooks.com)!!! I think he enjoyed it. He did say it was very terrifying, but not quite as terrifying as realising he had a wife who could get inside the head of a gay male prostitute with a proclivity for violence. I'm not sure it was the deal he signed up for! Still, he was smiling when he said it (whilst backing away and phoning the police for help ...). He'll no doubt be glad to get back to the relative normality of his theology essay this weekend while I'm away. And he did say I mustn't worry that his chosen topic is the ethics of divorce ... I can see I'm going to have to come back and be extra nice and loving! Goodness, what a strain ...

Ooh, and Flame Books have added a couple of the reviews I've had to their review section (http://www.flamebooks.com/books.asp?sectionId=3) which is nice. Almost makes me feel like a real writer. Someone pass me the smelling salts.

This morning, I have shopped wildly for birthday cards in Godalming (why is everyone's birthdays in March - or at least everyone I know?) and think I've found suitable pictures for all. And I popped round a set of books to Jennifer of Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) for the market on Tuesday. Now all I have to do is have lunch and go to Bristol. God, how I hate travelling to strange places on my own. I really hope (a) my petrol isn't contaminated and will actually get me there, (b) I can find the place all right without stopping and having to burst into tears & ring Lord H. I can see I'm going to have to take a calming pill before I set off. God, I must be a woman after all ...

Back Sunday. Have a great weekend, all.

Today's nice things:

1. Lord H surviving ADM!
2. The reviews now being on Flame
3. Starting the retreat - once I get there ...

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com

Friday, November 03, 2006

Golf and weekend retreat

Got up early, with Lord H today, to avoid the agony of getting dressed on my own in the flat surrounded by wasps. But so far ... no wasps. Let's hope it stays that way.

Updated my book information on the Writers Promote site (http://www.writerspromote.com) - David Caldo has made this look really nice - thanks, David! Then played golf with Marian - fun but we're weren't great. Are we ever??

I'm now about to have lunch and then my hairdresser will come at 1.30pm-ish. After that, I'm driving to Bristol to stay at the Emmaus Centre for a weekend's retreat on "The Enneagram - Your Personality". Hope it will be good, and relaxing - and insect-free. I'll miss Lord H like crazy though - I always do. Back on Sunday. I'm dreading the journey - I hate going to new places on my own. Please God I get there in one piece!

Today's nice things:

1. Golf
2. Getting a decent haircut
3. The retreat - I hope.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk