Disability Advisory Group workshop

A slow morning at work. No, really slow. Incredibly slow - so slow you could have had a snail race and it would have been high excitement. Had a walk round campus at lunchtime and sat on the bench near the lake. Five or six moorhens were pecking peacefully on the grass. The moment I sneezed, they all stopped and craned their necks in unison to see what the danger might be - surreal moment. After a while, they obviously realised I wasn't a threat, so carried on pecking.

This afternoon was the Disability Advisory Group workshop. Ruth invited me, even though it's not a group I usually go to, and it was rather interesting. Strangely. Lots of new legislation coming up and we all have to be more positive about disabilities. And disabilities is a wide term ranging from simple physical issues to mental health needs - so it could happen to any of us. Also lovely to attend a meeting I didn't have to ruddy minute - hurrah!

Received a couple more cheques for "Pink Champagne and Apple Juice" when I got home - which I will have to remember to give to the Goldenford team (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) when I'm at Guildford Writers (http://www.guildfordwriters.net) next week. Thanks, Roger & Dee of Writewords (http://www.writewords.org.uk) for the support - much appreciated.

Later, Jay Mandal from Bewrite (http://www.bewrite.net) is popping round to collect his books that I failed to sell at the Writers' Conference (http://www.writersconference.co.uk). Shame, but I think he would have done better if Bewrite had thought to offer a discount - at these sorts of events, everyone else does ...

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com

Defrosting the work fridge

Quite a slow day at work today - had one meeting cancelled (something of a relief), messed around with some other minutes and cleared my email pile. Walked into Guildford at lunch and visited Lush to stock up on products with my 10% off gift voucher (thanks, Julia!). In the afternoon, Ruth defrosted the work fridge and I provided essential advice and helpful comments while she was doing it - or possibly not. The ice monster was very determined, but not as determined as Ruth. At one stage, she was almost entirely in the fridge attempting to free it. At the point where we were trying to entice it out with a container of boiling water, Ruth wanted to know how hot the water actually was and decided to find out by means of putting her hand in. Hmm. Great move from a Health and Safety Officer ...

Oh, and I wrote a poem called "Waiting for the AA" - if I get nothing else from Friday night/Saturday morning's experience, I shall dredge up some inspiration at least.

Lord H and I watched "Dr Who" on the video this evening - good episode, I thought. And it all looks doom & gloom for next week and poor Rose. Ah well.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Post-Annual Writers Conference

Three days to catch up on here:

Friday 23 June 2006:

Excellent conference day. A day workshop on "The power of place" with Paul Baverstock. Quite a minimalist tutor, but it did mean you could interpret tasks in your own way. Managed to start what might be my next novel, after "The Gifting", and also drew plans of Simon's room in "TG", and wrote what might turn into a few sections of that novel - to do with the mythology of where he lives. I'm planning to do maps now of Simon's journey, his home and his destination - if there's one thing I've learnt today, it's that seeing the physical fact of what's in my head actually drawn down on paper makes everything stronger.

And in the evening, I did the first part of a poetry workshop, "From image to resolution" with Phil Carradice. Inspirational. There were only two of us, so the workshop was both informal and intense. And very worthwhile - managed to write three poems I'm pleased with and can work on them a little more.

We stopped at 10pm, ahead of the normal 10.30pm finishing time, so I had high hopes of getting home by 11pm. Famous last words. The car wouldn't start - the battery was completely flat, so I called the AA at 10.15pm, telling them I was a woman on my own and therefore a priority call. They promised me they'd get there in 90 minutes. Hmm, some priority. 90 minutes later, at 11.45pm, I rang again. They apologised, saying they couldn't get to me after all, so would put my call out to a sub-contractor (who shall remain nameless ...). This sub-contractor would get to me in an hour. At midnight, I got quite tearful and felt terribly lonely - really cut-off as if I'd be there forever, lost in the dark universe of the car park. At 12.15, I was desperate for the loo, so had to go across the campus grass, up the steps to the second level (the Winchester University car park is at the bottom of a hill), past the Stripe Theatre and into the loos in the Students' Union. No-one around, thank God. At 12.30, I gave up being sad and frightened, and got quite angry. If anyone from the bloody AA had turned up then, I might well have torn them limb from limb. At 12.45, I rang the AA again (with my mobile now virtually on its last legs ...), who said the sub-contractor had never received my details and they were now putting it out to another one. This second sub-contractor would be there in half an hour. To be fair, Emma from the AA did apologise and say she'd ring me at 1.10am to see if anyone had arrived.

At last, at 1.10am (so something the AA said was correct after all - result, eh?!), Matt from Ravenscroft Motors turned up. Never has a man been so welcome! While he was there, I tried to find a loo again, but gave up as the Students' Union was closed, and I didn't want to risk going any further into the campus. Lovely though Matt was, he didn't accompany me anywhere - which actually I think, in retrospect, he should have done. The RAC don't let women wander around on their own, apparently - so why should the AA? So, Matt recharged my battery and, at last, at 1.30pm I finally set off on the hour's drive home.

During all this, Lord H had been giving the AA hell - and rightly so, I think. It's really not good enough. We got to bed at 3am.

Saturday 24 June 2006:

Goodness, I was tired. Took Lord H's car back to the conference, as I didn't trust my own. Can you blame me? Not a bad writing day, however. The poetry sessions in the afternoon were particularly good. And I managed to sell 6 copies of "Pink Champagne and Apple Juice" at the Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) stall. Hurrah! I also bravely attempted to approach the author, Lorna Fergusson, to ask if she might consider doing a review of "A Dangerous Man" when it comes out from Flame (http://www.flamebooks.com) later in the year, as she'd been so positive about it when I first came to the conference, and had even sought me out to tell me so. However, obviously, my sheen has faded, as she brushed me off almost before I'd finished talking. Hmm, can't say I was that impressed with her attitude. Or her memory. And I certainly won't be buying her book (not that I could actually get past the prologue anyway ... ah, bitchery, bitchery!...).

Rather disappointed with my competition results this year - only a shortlisting in the poetry, and a Highly Commended in the haibun section. Buggery. Still, I never really understand what the haibun/haiku man is saying and, in the past, each time I've won or been placed in that competition, the only prize is the books (written by him!) which I've read before and didn't enjoy then ... so it's no great loss. Ah, bitchery and bitterness - what a weekend I'm having!

When I got home, Lord H updated me on the ongoing disaster of the AA. He'd wanted to take my car out that morning to do some photography, but again the battery was flat. When he rang the AA, they got uppity that he doesn't have a Homestart facility (though I do), and eventually (bearing the circumstances in mind) agreed to do a courtesy repair in an hour and five minutes. When Lord H rang them an hour and five minutes later, they promised someone within another half hour and told him off for having a duff battery in the first place. Of course, they shut up when Lord H told them that in fact it was the AA who'd given us the battery six months ago. They turned up quickly enough after that and replaced it, and now - so far! - the thing appears to be working. Still, Lord H is demanding financial compensation, which is fair enough, in my opinion.

Sunday 25 June 2006:

Took my car back to the last morning of the conference - it's still working! A great morning on part two of the "From image to resolution" workshop. Wrote two more poems, one about Lord H. Ah, the muse, the muse ...

About to go home when the AA rang me. This time, it was someone from the complaints section. He apologised again, made me recite the whole thing once more, and then offered compensation of vouchers or a membership upgrade. Bloody chancers - who do they think we are? Idiots? And do they not think I talk to my husband??? Give me money, you losers - it's a damn sight better for you than the picture of a dead woman in the papers, murdered because the bloody AA failed to turn up ...

And if you think I'm not joining the RAC pretty damn quick, you're more fools than I thought you were.

So, in honour of the occasion, a haiku:

In my thin, metal case
I wait. Slow leaves darken
against midnight sky.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com

Just as

Pink Champagne and Apple Juice launch, and one good review!

Got up this morning to find a very positive review of "Pink Champagne and Apple Juice" on the Writewords (http://www.writewords.org.uk) site - thanks, Nell! You can't ever imagine how much better that has made me feel ... And because I'm so excited about it, here's the review itself:

"Pink Champagne and Apple Juice is a rollicking roller-coaster of a ride from the moment we first encounter Angie, legging it along Platform One, her mother in hot pursuit. She just makes it onto the train to the big city, leaving her mum either gesticulating or waving on the platform. ‘There, I’ve done it,’ she said to herself. ‘I’ve finally left home.’ It was only then she realized she’d forgotten to pack any knickers. The knickers turn up again – in fact knickers both actual and metaphorical pop up (and down) fairly frequently before the end of the story. All the ingredients needed for a few hours escape from the mundane are here: there’s John, Angie’s transvestite uncle, concealing more than his sexuality beneath the paint and feathers; a gorgeous French waiter called Philippe; Heinrich, an intimidating German chef and the colourful staff and clientele of The Den Nightclub, as well as Angie herself, trying her wings for size and creating chaos in the process. But nothing and nobody in this novel, except possibly Angie herself, are quite what they seem. There are lessons to be learned, family secrets to be uncovered and a way to be made in the big wide world that’s so different from the quiet Essex village she’s abandoned. The writing carried me along at a cracking pace, and I laughed aloud more than once. Anne Brooke makes it look so easy. An enjoyable and light-hearted read and the perfect holiday novel or pick-me-up for a grey day. I couldn’t put it down and finished it in a single sitting. Pure escapism!"

Hey, that made me feel good. I've read it so many times now I could probably recite it verbatim. Which just goes to show how sad and needy writers are. No surprises there then.

Popped into Godalming and signed five copies of Champers for Ottakar's (thank you, Kevin and Sarah!), who were sweetness itself. Then ran the uninterested gauntlet of "The Surrey Bookshop". Goodness me, that was like getting blood out of a stone - and seeing that I am a valued customer there, I was distinctly not impressed. They barely managed to take one copy, and even then at a raised discount. Thanks a lot, guys - not. I shall definitely commence my book purchasing over the road at Ottakar's then.

Lord H came home for the afternoon, and has been working on the cover of Jay Margrave's "The Gawain Quest" for Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk). Later, it will be the launch of Champers, and Jacquelynn Luben's "A Bottle of Plonk" (spot the alcoholic theme!) at the Guildford Institute, so am very nervous about that. God, I hope it's all right. I've taken 2 calming pills, and will have a secret calming spray later, so maybe it'll be fine. And talking of which, I am very much fed up with the high numbers of church people who have backed out of the launch (or not even had the decency to respond ...) at the last minute. Bad show, people. Don't you have any idea how much it means to me? It seems that as long as I do my sacristan job Sunday by Sunday, no-one actually gives a damn about what really matters to me. Sounds harsh? Hell, that's the way it feels - live with it.

And I've done my monthly round of competition entries - mainly poetry. It's always good to tick something else off the writing list.

Meanwhile, onward to the launch ... wish me luck.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com

My 42nd birthday

An up and down day today. Had some lovely presents and unexpected surprises - people dropped in at work and said nice things and gave gifts, so that was lovely, and very much appreciated. But the shadow of tomorrow's launch for "Pink Champagne and Apple Juice", not to mention the intensity and worry of the weekend's Annual Writers' Conference (http://www.writersconference.co.uk) is hanging over my head like the proverbial sword. It feels as if everyone is expecting so much in a very short timescale which I simply don't have the ability to perform. Quite stressful really.

Work-wise, the day was long - not much to do at all really. Did have a nice lunch with the office crew. And Lord H sent roses & lilies - again, much appreciated. Wish I'd been at home though - could have done with the sleep.

Actually, and to be honest, I'm not sure I like being 42. It seems so adult all of a sudden - so many years lived and nothing done, or achieved. And not writing isn't helping much either - it's all building up inside with nowhere to go. But, right now and unfortunately, there's no damn time to write; my days are full of PR, marketing, attempting to sell "Pink Champagne" and simple survival. Damn it.

This evening, I shall attempt to do nothing and watch "The Convent" on TV - surely that might make me feel calmer, at least? I'm just too hyper right now. Mind you, I did write a secret poem today, when I shouldn't have - am fairly happy with it too and have uploaded it onto the Writewords site (http://www.writewords.org.uk) for comment. Am becoming desperate to write something on "The Gifting" though. We live in hope ...

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

UnisWriters

Not a bad day at work today - even managed to distribute the incredibly small-fonted (how the heck do they think people can read this stuff??) nursery flyers, and discovered parts of the university I never knew existed. And I've been here two years now.

Had the UniSWriters group at lunch - lots of manuscripts to look at, and a new person turned up, so that was good. We also said goodbye to Angela, one of our stalwarts, who's leaving at the end of the month. I'll really miss her. So we had cake to mark the occasion. Nobody bought a copy of my magnum opus though - sob! Ah well, I'll hide in my writers corner (I have attempted to put an apostrophe in that phrase, but can't be arsed to work out whether I'm single or plural - 'twas ever thus ...) for a while and come out when the angst has blown over.

Guildford Writers (http://www.guildfordwriters.net) tonight, and I'm taking along the slightly updated beginning of "The Gifting", bearing in mind my current short story embargo. It always seems more frightening reading out something from one of my novels, as it means more and feels more private, whereas the short stories always seem more distanced from me. I'll have to see how it goes.

Wrapped up another copy of "Pink Champagne and Apple Juice" for someone who wants it - hurrah! Now, all I have to do is wait for the cheques to come in ...

And I've just finished Philippa Gregory's "The Constant Princess". Not that impressed, I have to say. The character was terribly wordy and not that interesting. I think it's a case of the author getting carried away with their own love of their creation, so they fail to show the character's charm to the reader, having assumed we must already see it. Hell, we've all been there (as writers) and, no, this particular reader didn't see it.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com

Pink Champagne and Apple Juice publication date

Yep, it's finally here - my 3rd novel, "Pink Champagne and Apple Juice", is published today by Goldenford Publishers (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) - thanks, chap(esses)! - and ready for consumption. If anyone out there would like a copy of this stunning new work, just let me know or you can order from Amazon, if desired.

Hmm, and I think it's finally sinking in that it's real ... had a low morning at work, but am feeling considerably brighter this evening. The lunchtime reflexology helped a hell of a lot too - the afternoon was much more relaxed and energised. Have booked in several more appointments to get me over this down phase. Hope it's going to help. Also had a nice and helpful reply from Zoe at the university Counselling Centre to my rather desperate email, which was greatly appreciated. That might just see me through till I see her next on the 28th.

Came home post-Tesco shop (more hell ...!) to find an email from my "A Dangerous Man" editor, Sean, at Flame Books (http://www.flamebooks.com) introducing himself - so that must be happening too. Somewhere in the ether. Which is something of a relief, as I was starting to get twitchy about it, not having heard anything for a while. Nice to know that they're still there and working on it.

And have just received back the latest chapter of "Thorn in the Flesh" from that particular editor (so many editors, so little time ...) - http://www.jbwb.co.uk - so only 5 more chapters to go and we're there, thank the Lord. Talking of which, God's not my favourite thought at the moment either, to be honest - but maybe I'll just have to ride out that one too, and see where it takes me. I suppose my relationship with the supernatural has always been something of a roller-coaster, so perhaps I shouldn't be too surprised if the church/God thing is difficult. Hell, I should be used to it by now. And you know what they say - you just can't trust Him ... hmm.

I was very impressed, while I think of it, with the "Voices in my Head" programme on TV last night - great stuff. Apparently we all have them, and it's part of creativity and being human. Hilary Mantel (author) was one of the people interviewed, and made me feel much more normal by saying that she always expected the characters in her novels to take over and say and do things she wasn't anticipating. Hell, nice to know I'm not the only one! What a relief.

And, finally, had some lovely flowers and chocolates delivered today in celebration of Thursday's launch of "Pink Champagne and Apple Juice" - courtesy of my mother, who can't be there. Thanks Mum. Heck, if I'm going to get chocolates each time I have a launch, I think I'll have one every week. Do you think I can fool her? ...

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com

First after Trinity

Church very dull and depressing today, though the sermon was fine - all about God not judging the things we do wrong, but instead looking for the things we do right. No idea why I felt so low about it all afterwards - I was fine before I went. Maybe I shouldn't have gone at all - might have been a damn sight happier if I hadn't!

Made a shopping list for tomorrow and washed the car, so I gain "good worker" points. Lord H took some publicity shots of me in the garden before lunch, so I can update the website (see below) and send some pictures off to those who've requested them.

Think the rest of the day is going to be slow and full of sleep. My favourite hobby really. Both of them. If only, if only ... There's a TV programme on about hearing voices tonight, so will be glued to that. Nothing wrong with the voices, m'lud, it's the only damn thing keeping me going. And, hey, sometimes they even make sense.

And this week's haiku, in honour of the bugger of a week I've had, is:

The week destroys me,
each slow step dragging my skin
to a weary hell.

Hey ho.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Tea in London

Up to London with Lord H to see the Constable exhibition at Tate Britain - rather enjoyable and it brought back memories of where I was born & brought up - hell, I even recognised Willy Lott's cottage, without having to look at the explanation! Yeah, I'm good. Stared at the painting of the Dedham Vale to see if I could see my old home - Monk's Farm - in the background, and there was one which seemed to have a faint pink blob in the distance, but who can tell? Maybe it was just an accidental splash of the paintbrush? ... Afterwards, we wandered round some of the other galleries - Tate Britain does a fantastic series of themed leaflets, so I grabbed a handful. You can do a calming tour, a first date tour, a happily depressed tour, and even an I'm in a hurry tour and an I don't come here very often tour. Brilliant. Loved it. Just like those marvellous wines called "Great with chicken" - or fish, or beef or whatever. Why don't we get those any more? It saves having to think, a concept which is always top of my list. More like this please.

Then tea in Brown's Hotel with the Durham Gang. A good occasion and I even managed to sell three copies of "Pink Champagne and Apple Juice" to those wicked people not attending next Thursday's launch party (you know who you are!). Still, money in the hand is worth two novels in the bush, so I'm not complaining. And the tea and staff were much better than Fortnum & Mason's, in my opinion.

Even managed to get home in time for "Dr Who" - goodness, what bliss it is to have a day in London and be home in daylight with an evening ahead. Every commuter's dream. And the episode in question was quirky and brilliantly conceived. More of that, please.

Did my weekly reviewing for the You Write On (http://www.youwriteon.com) site - an interesting piece with a "woman in jeopardy" theme, but with more of a focus on the past - maybe too much. Some great descriptions though.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Golf, plus yesterday's catch-up

Thursday 15 June 2006:

Day at work due to the new Nursery Management Group meeting, for which I am Secretary. Bearing in mind how much I hate children, I must have done something really bad in a previous life. Still felt very depressed, but work was actually good, in that it took my mind off it. Which is no bad thing. In the evening, Lord H and I went to see "Rigoletto" at Woking Theatre - a marvellous production, which included naked ladies (naked people are always acceptable of course, no matter what sexuality one is), a golden eagle and lots of colour. Just how I like my opera. Could have done with some naked men though - but hey nothing's perfect. And somehow the opera managed to lift the depression, so maybe music is the best medicine after all.

Friday 16 June 2006:

Day off, as usual. Did lots of Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) marketing stuff for "Pink Champagne and Apple Juice" in the morning. Ottakar's in Godalming are keen to take 5 copies of the novel next week, and also expressed interest in seeing my other novel, "A Dangerous Man", which will be published later in the year. Oh joy indeed. Gawd bless 'em!

Visited Gladys from church during the afternoon - she was terribly anxious about her cat, but I reassured her that Dolly ( said cat) would come back when she was hungry, and being away is the nature of cats. Having said all that and managed to be extra nice, I damn well hope Dolly isn't lying under the wheels of some lorry somewhere - that would be irony hell!

Golf with Marian came next, and I'm now enjoying (post-cleaning duties - groan!) a lazy evening full of beer, pizza and ice cream. Bliss. And at least the suicidal gloom has lifted at last - thank the Lord.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com

Kinesiology appointment

This week of early starts, long and stressful days, and waves of depression is really taking its toll. I'm so tired my eyes are prickling, but I'm too on edge to sleep. Had a good session with Jane, my kinesiologist (http://www.kinesiology4health.com) this morning - to be honest, so far, that's been the only high point, and everything else about today has really knocked me back. She's suggested more and different nutritional supplements for another month before she sees me again, to encourage improvement, and I'll give it a go. It's expensive, but I trust her, and I'm desperate for something to work.

Did some Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) work over lunchtime and then in the afternoon, the directors and I did a talk/reading session at the Guildford Institute. I thought it went well but I was devastated by the fact that not one of my pre-launch copies of "Pink Champagne and Apple Juice" were sold, and overwhelmed with jealousy that we sold at least one copy of all our other offerings. It felt like a real kick in the teeth and I don't feel I can handle it right now. So I took 6 in, and I took 6 back. It's hell.

Once home, I tried to sleep, but couldn't, and was subject to the usual stressed-out "God, you're rubbish" messages my head always gives me in this sort of situation. I'm seriously considering not writing anything for a while, as it just seems to be the case that you put yourself out there and nobody's interested. Not great for my customary low self-esteem issues indeed ... I've also resigned from the Writewords (http://www.writewords.org.uk) short stories group, as I definitely don't want to write any of those for a while - the effort's too much. Sometimes, and without seeming too dramatic (is that possible? Hell, it's the way I am - live with it) and as long as I can be with Lord H, it would be really, really wonderful just to vanish and not have to bother with the whole palaver any more. God, I wish.

Can't be arsed to do anything this evening - Lord H is being really sweet, and cooking chips and giving me whisky. Sometimes, alcohol and raised fat intake are the only answers. No matter what the diet police say.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com

Self-esteem seminar

Felt very low today - God knows why. It's distressing how things pile up, I ignore them for weeks/months and then they overwhelm me. There must be another way of managing my own life, if only I knew what that might be. Ho hum. Attended a self-esteem seminar at the Cathedral today - and ended up feeling lower than ever. All those tips for a balanced life, but not energy enough to apply them. It was also terrifying walking into the room and having to do the breakfast chat thing on my own. David (boss) turned up after a while though, so at least there was someone to sit next to. Also Jennifer from Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) was there as well, and we managed a brief publication-related chat afterwards.

The rest of the day trundled by. High points were (a) a good and unexpected chat with David about how frightened I am about next week's publication/launch week for "Pink Champagne and Apple Juice", which will be followed closely by the Winchester Writers Conference (which for various reasons will be rather more demanding than usual, though worth it, I hope - http://www.writersconference.co.uk). David was actually really sweet. It's funny how much I want to be read and how much I at the same time dread other people's judgement. Doesn't make for much sanity really. (b) Lovely encouragement from Julia (thanks, Julia ...) from UnisWriters - who said a lot which I know is right but I'll have to wait for hope to return to take in those words of wisdom. And (c) a very nice lunch with Angela, also from UniSWriters, about writing, work and the hell that is minute-taking. It cheered me up a little, so thanks, Angela.

Ate healthily this evening and felt (marginally) better. Tonight it's the monthly Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) meeting, but thank goodness Jackie has agreed to take minutes - thanks, Jackie. I couldn't have coped with them right now ...

Which makes me think that no matter how bad I feel, people around me today (including Lord H) have been desperately nice. Which in itself makes me feel better - and I'm desperately grateful. You don't know how much ...

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com

Away Day

Student Care Services Away Day today - catch-up on what's going on in the morning, and a team/personal development exercise in the afternoon. Could write lots, I suppose, but actually I feel like crap right now. Very edgy, and people are just asking me to do too many things at the moment - it's completely overwhelming and I feel very depressed. Why can't they just stop? Honestly, can't people sort their own issues out? I'm not the fount of all knowledge. Sometimes I just bloody well want to be left alone. The older I get, the more it feels that people are simply chipping pieces away from me, and giving nothing back. And, God, it's hard to keep smiling for the outside world when I just want to go home and collapse in a soggy heap.

The heat isn't helping much either. Nor is the rejection of "Maloney's Law" by Macmillan today. It's only taken them nine months to say no. The bastards. Actually, right now I hate the whole fucking business. I don't know why I bother. And I don't know why my agent can't ever get round to giving me any bloody good news. All the good news I get comes from my own efforts, and that's few and far between, to be honest.

Have just finished Hilary Mantel's "An experiment in love" - well written, but also bloody depressing. God, what a life.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Golf day

Bloody hot today. Did the 8am service this morning - we had the difficult vicar (deep groan). I suppose there's always one in every deanery. Just wish he'd lighten up a bit though and not complain about every little thing. The good news is that I managed not to strangle the wretched gent with his own stole - though I did find myself wishing that the trapped swallow in the church this morning might do a slightly more dramatic fly-past than it actually did. Hell, what do you expect? I've never been nice.

Had a nap after church, and then golf and lunch here (cold collation - the thought of hot food is beyond us ...) with Marian & Siegi. Lord H played fantastically well and got several pars and a birdie. Did my usual mother call this evening, so am cleansed of family demands for a week. Goodness, how well I play the dutiful daughter!

This evening, Lord H and I played TV catch-up - "Dr Who" (which I thought was great and, hey, Rose actually gets to be proactive this week!), and Friday night comedy. Saved having to watch the ruddy football.

Tragic news! - "Thorn in the Flesh" has dropped to Number 6 in the You Write On (http://www.youwriteon.com) charts - ooooh noooo! Ah well, that's the writing life. And have edited another writer's chapters on the site - an excellent piece of work about a journalist and the devil - it's great. There's such good stuff around - why can't wretched publishers get off their arses, ditch the celebrity trash and actually publish some good novels? At least, it would make a change for them.

And this week's haiku is:

The white moth flutters,
a ghost in pursuit of dreams
in the cool blue room.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Clarins facial

Ah, the bliss of a Clarins facial - where would I be without them? Had a replenishing version today, and discovered I have 275 minutes on my "Time for Me" card - so free treatments, here I come! Choices, choices ... I'd like to go for the aromatherapy massage, but we'll see. Also popped into Neals Yard and bought some milk thistle tincture, which is supposedly good for cleansing the liver (if only I knew where exactly my liver was ...) and some rose body cream (good for sensitive skins). Also got a free sample of their new frankincense body cream, so shall have fun practising being a girl with all that lot.

Lunch with some friends in Guildford, with Lord H - which was full of bad food choices, so no doubt my liver will be looking forward to its cleansing soon, poor thing. Oh, and I bought (ie I chose and Lord H paid ...) a skirt in M&S, so hey I can do two girly things in one day - result! Lord H & I shopped for tomorrow's golf lunch on the way back - pie & salad, as the thought of cooking in all this heat is just too frightening.

Ooh, and some indirectly good news - Alison Baverstock's new book, "Is there a Book in You?" is out on 30 June, and includes a contribution from me, as I've met her a couple of times. Doubt I'll be named though, as she's got loads of well-known authors to give her some thoughts, but at least I'm in there somewhere. So it's almost like being important - I wish!...

And tonight we're at the Guildford Choral Society (http://www.guildfordchoral.org/main.pl) Mozart concert in the Cathedral, so perfect summer music.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Night out in London with Jane

Weird dreams last night - a host of poetry stuff, Indian ladies and loo rolls on a mantelpiece floated past my head. Must mean something - only the Lord knows what.

Struggled with writing today - managed to dredge up 1000 words for "The Gifting", but goodness me it was an effort. Just too damn hot for thought. Or inspiration. Not that I've ever trusted inspiration of course ... this life is 99% bloody hard slog, and the 1% that isn't is usually changed before draft two. Oh, and I also wrote a poem for the Writers' News (http://www.writersnews.co.uk) last line competition. Have uploaded it onto the Writewords (http://www.writewords.org.uk) site for comment, but no-one's bitten yet. And good news about "Thorn in the Flesh" - it's in the Top Ten on the You Write On (http://www.youwriteon.com) site - at Number Ten, so hanging on just by its proverbials. Talking of which (novel, not proverbials - steady, people), my editor (http://www.jbwb.co.uk) has sent back another chapter of "Thorn", which I have duly edited. It's like drawing teeth - only another eight chapters to go. Don't hold your breath! And today, I am consumed with my usual writers' jealousy at all the wonderful things happening to other people - groan! And it's only been a week since my own big competition shortlisting (http://www.harrybowlingprize.net) for "Maloney's Law". Wish the good feelings lasted a little longer ...

A quick pop into Godalming this morning to stock up on brown rice and detox tea (not as bad as it sounds), and a nap this afternoon. And I'll be ready for my night out with Jane in London later on. We usually do art, but this time I think we'll stick with drinks, food & chat. It'll be great to see her.

Have just finished Melanie Penycate's poetry collection, "Breaking the arch" - quite enjoyed it, especially the marital crisis sections. And I particularly loved her subtle use of rhyme. Interesting stuff.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Golf & catch-up

Two for the price of one today, you lucky people. Or maybe not. Even hotter today. Muddled through with writing some of “The Gifting” this morning, and then popped into see Gladys. She’s very confused today – must be the heat. Can’t say I blame her.

Had a nap this afternoon, and then played golf with Marian later. Glorious sunshine, and I did quite well. Much more consistent than last week, and one wonderful chipped-in par at the eighth. Bliss. The monthly writing mags arrived today. There's a piece about Goldenford and "Pink Champagne and Apple Juice" in Writers' News (http://www.writersnews.co.uk), so that's good. Must be happening then ...

It's too hot to move, let alone type. Damn it.


Wednesday 7 June: Counselling day

Didn’t manage to write my blog yesterday, as I had a full day in London doing the last of the SUADP (Administrator Development) course. Yesterday’s theme was “Teamwork and Leadership”, and we all had a good time. Even the team games weren’t too scary, once they got going, and – thank the Lord – I didn’t have to be Leader at any time. Phew. Couldn’t imagine anything worse. Did a “what role are you in a team?” test and found out I am basically a Worker Bee type. No surprises there then. In fact I was 12 points higher than the highest point on the so-called scale. So, it’s proven: I am officially square. At last! – I’ve found my true inner self. Hmm ... At least we had a hell of a lot of fun playing a Scrabble-type game and building a tall tower with Lego. I’ve had far more terrifying days. And the presenter was someone I know from UniS, so it made it that much more light-hearted for me. As it was the last session, we had a talk from London University’s Vice-Chancellor at the end. Whose name I instantly forgot, as it means nothing to me. Verdict: he tried too hard and ended up being dull. Why do these managerial types always attempt to get twenty-five minutes worth of speaking out of ten minutes of material? It’s a mystery. Still, he seemed a harmless enough chap. Unusual, for a V-C … And we all went out for dinner in the evening (not with the V-C of course – that would have been a network too far!), so a good time had by all.

Today – Wednesday – had quite a good day at work, and was absolutely up-to-date by the time 5pm came round. And it was my two year anniversary at UniS, so I took in cakes. It’s amazing I’ve lasted so long. My lunchtime counselling session with Zoe was helpful – as ever. It feels as if I’m facing a glass wall, with the normal carefully-managed and very separate parts of my life contained behind me, and something like a very rich and colourful field in front. A field where all the separate sections might be able to merge together one day and still be okay. God, that would be a relief. How I hate all these bloody labels people seem to put on me – Anne’s an “X”; oh no, she’s a “Y”; she’s exuberant; she moans all the time; etc, etc. I’m pissed off with all that, people. Can’t I be all of them without being judged? Yes, having the label might make for a simpler life, but it leaves other parts unexpressed. How I’d like to move on from there. Hell, the search for some kind of wholeness – it’s a bloody mystery, isn’t it?

Still, there a revisit to “The Monastery” on TV tonight, so maybe that will be a source of inspiration? Not sure where my five-minute silence slot disappeared to last night, or if it will even happen tonight, but we live in hope. (Postscript – it happened but in a concertinaed 5 mins when Lord H was washing up. The thing I took away from it was that I’d really like to live more deeply. Nice thought, but God alone knows how …)

And it’s so bloody hot!

Lunch with Julia

First day back post-holiday wasn't as terrifying as I'd feared. Even managed to get all my emails sorted in the morning, which left the afternoon for messing around with the website and catching up on news emails etc. Never let it be said that my life is meaningless.

Lunch with one of our UniSWriters, Julia - which was fun. She's created a Yahoo Group for us, but Lord alone knows how I'm supposed to work out how to use it - I always find the Yahoo Group thing a great mystery. Like being trapped in an invisible net which won't let me go. I'm sure it will be wonderful when I can understand it. Much like life really. Or Ikea. If you're reading this, Julia - I'll try! I'll try, honest I will! I'm also hoping to link it in with a new UniSWriters website, probably attached to the Arts Office site, but am waiting for the go-ahead from Jo.

The hell that is Tesco shopping tonight. Why do I spend so much and yet when I get it home it's as if I needn't have bothered? We'll have demolished it all in a week, in spite of the fact I buy for a month. Ho hum.

Have just finished reading Nell Grey's "Three Magic Women" - the sequel/prequel to the utterly amazing "The Golden Web". The style is very rich - like eating good chocolate or drinking a fine wine - but I could have done with slightly more plot. The sex scenes are fun though - but have to say there were more of them and weirder (and who on earth doesn't like a lot of weird sex scenes?...) in "TGW".

And finally, have received the latest chapter of "Thorn in the Flesh" back from my editor (http://www.jbwb.co.uk), which didn't have that many changes to make. Only another nine chapters to go before I'm done - goodness, this time the process is agonisingly slow. Even though she's fine, I might consider using someone else next time - we'll see.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Pentecost

Church not too bad today, though it was obviously a day for seriously weird hymn tunes. This week's visiting vicar, Bob Heyes, was a nice chap, and seemed genuinely interested in our non-church lives - not like the normal sort of priest at all. He can come again. And he looked cute in the red (for Pentecost). Shame it's only for one week, and we're back to the white next week. Ah well. Had a good chat with one of our churchwardens before the madding crowd (all 35 or so of them - goodness, that's not bad for St Peter's ...) arrived. Told her how the counselling was going - which is, basically, six more to go, and I'm feeling better about God (now that's a bloody miracle in itself, eh?), but who knows when the next "down zone" will be.

Slummed it for the rest of the day - caught up on yesterday's "Doctor Who", and also the Robin Williams' film, "One Hour Photo." Depressing indeed. It's made my head feel full of noise, which in a day as hot as today isn't great. Oh, and talking of "Doctor Who", Billie Piper will be opening our church/village fete at Hascombe on 19 August, and judging our children's fancy dress competition. The theme is "Doctor Who", so how can she refuse? And Chris Evans will be running one of our stalls - but please God no more of those dreadful zip-up ties, which turned up a few fetes ago. Mind you, we had fun with them in the end, if only as a talking point ...

In order to salvage the dregs of my meagre spiritual life (such as it is), I've decided to try for 5 minutes silence in the evening, and factor in 5 minutes silence in the morning as I'm reading through my "Daily Bread" notes. Mind you, as my morning Bible study/thought period (if I can call it that ...) is always done while I'm on the exercise bike, silence might not be the operative word. Hell, even I know it's not how Christianity is supposed to be, but hey it's the best I've got so don't knock it!

And this week's haiku is:

Things I learnt at Longleat
Gorillas love TV;
giraffes glide like slow angels;
meerkats do stand up.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Longleat

A bloody fantastic day in Longleat today (http://www.longleat.co.uk) - spent the whole morning in the park. The giraffes were fantastic, lions ditto, and we were so close to two rhinos we could have reached out and stroked them. Don't advise this though. Marvellous. Everyone should go - a magical day.

Also did the house - wonderfully ornate and homely, with ceilings to die for. Then onto the lake trip round gorilla island - actually saw a gorilla and it moved like a gorilla too! - with the bonus of sealions and two hippos. Add to that, the small steam train and the mazes, plus a beautiful orangery, and it's been a perfect day.

Chinese meal this evening and the video of "Doctor Who" and Lord H and I are laughing.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Editing day

Hell of a night for not being able to sleep last night. Think I was on too much of a high to settle. Bummer. Still, it did mean that I day-dreamt a structure and some scenes for a short story whilst staring at the ceiling. Jotted some of it down today, with a working title of "The Bar on Sigmond Street". Also did some more work on "The Gifting" - the beginnings of a flashback castle scene now, and Ralph & Simon's first meeting. I now know what exactly a bailey looks like, and have glanced at a picture of a trebuchon (weapon for throwing boulders). Both of which could come in handy, both for writing and for life.

Also did my weekly editing round for work on Bewrite (http://www.bewrite.net), the To Be Published site (http://www.tobepublished.com), UK Authors (http://www.ukauthors.com), Writewords (http://www.writewords.org.uk) and the You Write On site (http://www.youwriteon.com). Particularly enjoyed the very lush but dark short story which was allocated to me in the last of the list. Sinister and well expressed. And talking of writing, I watched the interviews with the two main actors of "Brokeback Mountain" on DVD yesterday and they said something (concerning their acting careers) which really struck home: (a) they act in order to bare something of their soul, and (b) each role is a step on a personal journey somewhere. That's exactly how I feel about why I write. That's exactly it.

A quick shop this afternoon around Godalming - found the perfect Father's Day card for Jim. Now all I have to do is get a present and family duty will be done! Tonight, I'll do a spot (only a spot, mind - I'm not proud) of cleaning, and then slump in front of glorious Friday TV.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Harry Bowling Prize 2006 Shortlist

Today's been a really good day, in all sorts of ways. Did a little bit more on "The Gifting" in the morning, and then discovered that "Maloney's Law" has been shortlisted for the Harry Bowling Prize 2006 (http://www.harrybowlingprize.net) which is astonishing! Particularly as the publishers involved in the award, Headline, were one of those who rejected the novel last year. My agent (http://www.sff.net/people/john-jarrold/about.html) thought this was highly amusing, and hopes to do a run through those publishers (including, perhaps, Headline) I have still to hear from to tell them the good news. Here's hoping somebody bites ... Ah now, wouldn't that be nice?

As a result of all that, I think I've probably played the best eighteen holes of golf today I've ever done - 4 pars, one of them a chip in from off the green. Felt as if I were cooking on gas, thank the Lord (indeed). Bliss. Popped in post-golf to see Gladys, but didn't stay long as she was having her tea.

Once home, BBC Southern Counties radio (http://www.bbc.co.uk/southerncounties) are doing a marvellous job on publicising the Life Competition shortlist, and are putting the series (of which my piece is one) into two radio awards later in the year. There's also some talk of publicising the stories on the website, so sent across a photo, a short bio, and a note of how I came to write the piece. And, in addition to all that, the anthology, "101 Poets for a Cornish Assembly" (in which my poem, "The Milkmaid by Vermeer", appears) has turned up in the post - so lots of lovely new poetry to read. Hurrah.

Have just finished Nick Fletcher's "Imperfect Day" - great stuff. Cynical and fast-paced with a good lead character. Wonderful dry humour too. Would definitely read more of his stuff - though I could have done with less typos. Hell, I have typos too, so I can't talk!

All in all, a really top-notch day - it's lovely to get one of these every so often. I'm incredibly grateful - hope the feeling lasts through the barrel-load of rejections that will no doubt be coming my way soon. It's a funny kind of a life.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Patricia's leaving day

One of my work colleagues - Patricia - left today to move down to the New Forest (lucky devil), so popped in for cakes and chat and to say goodbye. It's actually quite refreshing to go into work when you don't have to do anything. Though I did pick up my pay slip. Priorities, priorities. Patricia's just come back from a cruise holiday, during which someone died by falling overboard. Sounds like a classic Agatha Christie to me - very exciting indeed. My first thought was: fantastic plot! Which just goes to show all writers are heartless beasts. No great shocks there then.

Did more work on "The Gifting". Ralph's home is becoming more castle-like every day, so had to research castles on the Web. And medieval-style clothing. Not to mention class issues. This novel is definitely crystallising into a medieval-based fantasy - which at least means I can be vaguely accurate, but not anal about it. Thank the Lord. Tried not to get too bogged down though - I hate research. I'm much happier writing the bloody thing and then winging it later. As in life, so in writing indeed. It's fiction, people. Live with it.

A short nap this afternoon, and then a leisurely evening ahead. Yesterday, Lord H and I watched our "King Arthur" DVD. What a load of old tosh - although the two male leads were cute, which always makes it worthwhile. Still, I think they could have done a lot more with the whole society and relationships/friendships thing, rather than all those ruddy confusing battles. Just an opinion.

My editor (http://www.jbwb.co.uk) has just emailed back the latest two chapters of "Thorn in the Flesh", including the extremely violent one. She likes it and thinks it needs to be there - which makes me feel very happy, as I was worried what she might say. She's a nice woman. Only ten more chapters for her to go through then.

And my agent (http://www.sff.net/people/john-jarrold/about.html) will be going in for a minor operation over the Winchester Writers' Conference (http://www.writersconference.co.uk) weekend at the end of June - nothing too drastic apparently, but it means I still won't actually have got to meet him yet. Am beginning to wonder if he only exists online! - though I have been promised lunch in July. Which would be nice ... actually I was originally promised lunch last August, but it never came to anything. Ho hum. Evidently, I will have to produce a real potboiler of a novel before I get to eat. Plus ca change then.

And the joy of tonight is I can change all my calendars over to June and have a fresh month ahead. Including the glorious gay men's Canadian rugby team calendar given to me by some close gay, non-Canadian friends. My favourite calendar of them all - leaves nothing to the imagination and does it with style and charm. Bliss!

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

The Gifting - onwards ...

The beginning of a week off work - hurrah! Had a lazy start to the day, but enjoyed scribbling away with "The Gifting" and actually managed to get 2000 words out. Have added a twist to Ralph's character, which I rather like - with a bit of luck and if the literary wind is in the right direction, I might even be able to make something of it. Who knows?

Also, wrote a proposal outlining the possibility of turning my blog into a book, which The Friday Project (http://www.thefridayproject.co.uk) have asked to see. Got that off in the post today, together with an example of my writing - sent them "Pink Champagne and Apple Juice", so if nothing else it might make 'em laugh. My first non-fiction (or is it?...) proposal. Another bridge crawled across. Have also sent the first few chapters of "Maloney's Law" to Snow Books (http://www.snowbooks.com) who apparently want thrillers this year. Well, it's certainly a thriller, so at least they can't reject it for not fitting the request. They'll probably find another reason though - ah well.

But at least no-one can say I haven't been busy today. Had a quick flit round Godalming this afternoon and restocked my dwindling book supply. Also bought some poetry, as I'm running seriously low on that front and the stuff I currently have I don't even like anyway. Give me decent poetry - somebody - please!

BBC Southern Counties Radio (http://www.bbc.co.uk/southerncounties/) have emailed to say my "Life" piece will be broadcast sometime over the next few weeks. It could even be tomorrow or next week - hurrah! However, as there's a list of twenty of us, it's all rather vague (if delightful), and I'm too much of a wimp to email back and ask: hey, so when exactly is mine being broadcast? It just sounds way too selfish, even for me. Hey ho.

Have just finished Sue Monk Kidd's "The Secret Life of Bees." Loved the first chapter or so, but the rest of it is rather a drag, I have to say. Apparently it started life as a short story, which publishers got hold of and then wanted more. Hell, they ruined it. It would have made an utterly fantastic and classy short, but is simply a dull novel. Which just goes to show that, no matter what the financial and career incentives, writers should stick to their guns and go with their instincts concerning exactly what something is. Trust me, you know. A lesson for us all - let's hope I'll remember it, should my distant and rapidly diminishing boat ever come in.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Bank Holiday Monday

A mixture of torrential rain and bright sun. Typical bank holiday weather. We were planning to go to the Surrey County Show, but I didn't have a very good night last night and, to be honest, couldn't be arsed. Instead, we had a late, lazy morning, then I had a nap until lunchtime, after which I watched my video of "Phone Booth", with Colin Farrell. Damn good film - I loved it.

Plan to do a fat lot of nothing the rest of the day - we might watch one of our many as yet unwatched DVDs however, and then there's "New Tricks" tonight on TV. I've thought my way into the beginning of some scenes for "The Gifting" and will do some work on them tomorrow. Won't push myself too much though - or will try not to! - as it is a holiday week, after all. I'm supposed to be relaxing - if I only knew how.

And Lord H has mended our overflow problem - what a star - which will make the neighbour downstairs a little happier. How we both hate the whole thought of DIY. It's unnatural.

Still feel rather up and down, but thank God it's not as bad as yesterday.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Easter 7

Church was surprisingly okay today - ie I didn't feel quite so bad about it as I usually do at the moment. This week's visiting priest was Colin Semper, who used to be Head of Religious Broadcasting at the BBC - nice chap. He can definitely come back. He gets humour. Great. Some of them don't. I think he quite liked us too.

Had a trip round Busbridge Lakes afterwards - nice and relaxing. Wandering around looking at birds is okay. Shame they don't open it more often over the summer. There weren't many people about, which was good.

Felt low this afternoon. Can't always tell when the feeling's going to strike, but it's not pleasant while it lasts. Had a couple of hours' nap to try to ride it, but was only partially successful. Have finished the book my Counsellor recommended however: Alice Miller's "The Drama of Being a Child" - I thought some of the stuff was very good, plus helpful, but the latter part of it wasn't quite so helpful. Not sure whether the intellectual understanding of what might be going on right now is entirely a good thing, without the means of practical action. Still, I suppose that's what the counselling is for ...

The final part of "Invasion" tonight - they really seemed to leave us up in the air as to what happens next. They'd better bloody well make a second series - us fans need some kind of resolution!

Lord H has a bad headache, and I don't feel so hot either, so am hoping for an early night. Have sinned on the family front, as haven't done my weekly call to mother - but not sure I can face it right now.

And this week's haiku is:

The music rises,
your friendship fizzes in dance:
bodies in rhythm.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Windsor Castle

Too wet for Longleat today, so Lord H and I went to Windsor Castle instead. The changing of the guard was bizarre - lots of marching for no apparent purpose, but Lord H enjoyed it and took lots of photos. I particularly liked the Drawing Gallery - some good photos of the queen & entourage which I hadn't seen before, a few being very relaxed and fun. I was hugely jealous though of the one of the royal princesses on a rocking horse - I always longed for a rocking horse, and was never allowed one!... Damn it.

Still, was somewhat cheered by the State Apartments, which are glorious - great ceilings. Also enjoyed St George's Chapel - I never knew so many monarchs are buried there. At least it keeps them all together - we know where they are ... But, another thousand damns - the Sacristan on duty at the door had a badge with his name and title on - damn! Why can't I have a badge? I'm a Sacristan too! - deep sigh ...

However, much to my joy, the shop had a Noah's Ark in a snowstorm, so just had to buy that for work. Trashy gifts 'r' us! Lord H sighed deeply ... Ooh, and bought jam too - can never resist it, especially as they had quince & rose petal jelly. Bliss.

Tonight, it's "Doctor Who" and a take-away chinese from the shop. We also stocked up on our wine, but we've now broken one bottle. Curses.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Haircut & golf ...

... not a great combination, especially in the wind. Ah well. At least I looked relatively elegant (almost) for half a morning. Golf was fine, but didn't enjoy it as much as usual for some reason, even though I did okay. Marian was great though - and parred the ninth with a fantastic putt. My putt wasn't so bad either, but sadly not as exciting. Ah well - again!

Did more work on "The Gifting", but I'm not as happy with the scene I wrote up today, as I was with yesterday's. Too much talking & angst, I think, and maybe not enough action - it's irritating me, but I'll have to wait till another day to redo. Or maybe just leave it - and try another scene. Sometimes these things work themselves out. The JBWB editor (http://www.jbwb.co.uk) has sent back another chapter of "Thorn in the Flesh", so made the suggested changes to that. Then had a lovely nap for two hours in the afternoon - bliss.

The book recommended to me by my counsellor (goodness, how modern I'm beginning to sound ...) has arrived, so I'll get stuck into that at some stage soon. Tonight though, it's TV comedy night. Will have to do some cleaning somewhere in the midst of it, I fear - groan. There's no silver lining without that cloud. When, oh when, will somebody create a press-button solution for all the domestic chores?

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Ascension Day

Edited my summer ghost story as suggested by Guildford Writers (http://www.guildfordwriters.net) and it certainly seems to have improved it. Then wrote the beginning of a piece (short story? novel? - hard to say) including the phrases, "country music", "smart thinking" and "illustration" for our UniSWriters group. It came out as hard-nosed chick lit, so goodness knows whether I'll continue it at all, but hell it was fun to write.

Lunch with Jean T in Milford - an hour or so of off-the-wall conversation which flowed over me like a river, and which always makes me feel as if somehow I'm not as strange as I'd feared - quite reassuring really. Then a quick pop to see Gladys & home. Where I did another 1000 words of "The Gifting" and really enjoyed getting deeper into the story. Simon and his thoughts and feelings are beginning to take me over more as it goes on - which is fairly usual for this stage in the novel. I'll now have him in my head for at least two years - even after I've finished writing them, they linger on. Like a good wine. Or piles. Difficult to say which, sometimes.

Tonight, Lord H and I went to the Ascension Service - not many there, but we lit enough candles for the 5000 to appear, should they have wished to. One of the local priests, John Bundock, took the service - he may be our priest for real in the long run, but that's a few years down the line yet, as they're still hoping to appoint a temporary guy/gal for three years until a real decision on our future has to be made. John's quiet but sweet. And I think he quite liked us by the end of it all.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Counselling day

Didn't feel like writing my blog yesterday - it was a difficult day, apart from the high points of the UniSWriters' group at lunchtime and Guildford Writers in the evening, the latter of which I chaired due to non-appearance of the usual suspects. People - where were you? We missed you ... Apart from that, I made a mess of something I had to do at work, and felt the fall-out. Funny how one little thing can completely destroy any confidence I might have thought I had - or maybe not so funny after all. The struggle to fit in becomes increasingly complex.

So, to today. A better day, thank the Lord, and people were nice. Which I hadn't expected. Counselling with Zoe was great - maybe it's okay to stay in the puzzled zone for a while, no matter how uncomfortable the feeling. Getting used to not being able to solve things instantly is, I see, going to take some ... well ... getting used to. Thank goodness I'm able to talk about this sort of stuff now and again to Lord H. And Zoe has recommended a book to read which might also help, so have ordered this. We trog onwards. Slowly.

This evening, have received my professional critique on "A Dangerous Man" from the You Write On site (http://www.youwriteon.com) which was, I think, very generous and also helpful. And have had a few good comments on "The Gifting" from one of the Writewords (http://www.writewords.org.uk) members, which was a very pleasant boost indeed.

As for reading, have given up on the award-winning "26a" as I just didn't care enough. And have finished Jodi Picoult's "Vanishing Acts". Not one of her best, to my mind - the main character was way too perfect and the two subsidiary men's adoration of her frankly ridiculous. And the prison scenes - totally out of place! That said, the tension and page-turning pizzazz of it all kept me hooked and the court scenes were top notch.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Student Care Services Steering Group

Spent the morning catching up on last week's emails, then took the minutes for the steering group at lunchtime. This was made more horrific than usual as two of the papers in it were mine, so I had to present them. How I hate speaking in meetings. I was in a real panic beforehand and took two calming pills and a flower remedy spray. Thank goodness for herbs. Still, it wasn't as bad as I'd feared - partly because there were a few apologies, so there were fewer people there, thank the Lord. And the bliss when it's over is uncontainable. I rewarded myself with two mini muffins and a decaf. What a wild one I am indeed.

The afternoon was spent on the minutes, but didn't manage to finish them - which means I still have two sets of minutes lurking in the shadows, damn it. I do so love to get things finished. Shopping tonight, and then it's "New Tricks" later. Where would I be without comfort viewing? Not to mention the handy unfinished bottle of red from yesterday - hurrah!

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Easter 6

Lord H did church/sacristan duties for me today, as our visiting priest was one I can't stand. And yes, I know that's not very Christian (whatever that means ...) but it's human. Live with it. Worse, the same guy is doing our next 8am service in a few weeks' time, so I'll have to persuade our Lay Reader to do my duties for me then, I think. I can't possibly ask Lord H to get up so early - it would be cruel.

Spent the morning catching up on my monthly round of writing competition entries, and remembered to add a flyer for "Pink Champagne and Apple Juice" into them all - well, one can always hope - then watched the video of "Hannibal" which I recorded last week. Quite interesting actually. Later on, I'm hoping to catch up with "Dr Who", having missed it yesterday. Talking of which, yesterday's murder mystery event (half play/half clue discussion) wasn't all that great. Very creaky indeed, to be honest. Lord H and I could do a better script with our hands tied together and our pens removed. And my goodness, the folk in Dunsfold are strange. I don't think I'll be rushing to see another performance. I would rather have watched "Eurovision", which at least has Terry Wogan in it to keep the sanity levels up. Loved the wild rock Finnish entry though - what a welcome change from our normal Eurovision pap winner.

And "Invasion" tonight - the tension is mounting.

Oh, and today's haiku is

Your hands soothe my feet
to silence and green meadows.
Hear the rivers play.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Cake making day

A trip to the cathedral for Lord H to look at the library and for me to buy a dedication present for a work colleague's son. Feel quite pleased with my eventual choice. Back at the ranch, made chocolate fairy cakes - although each has only one wing as I couldn't be arsed to half them. We had some of them for lunch, and they weren't bad at all. Much to my surprise.

A long nap this afternoon, which was stunningly good. Sleep - my favourite hobby. Then uploaded a review for You Write On (http://www.youwriteon.com) and requested, in turn, another review for "Thorn in the Flesh". There have been one or two positive comments for my poem on the Writewords site (http://www.writewords.org.uk), which has been a boost. In conversation with someone on Writewords, have decided that writing isn't about finishing up with a perfect book - not least because the author will never be perfect - but getting it as near as possible to where you are now and how you feel about things. At least that's how I think it is for me. It's self-discovery and the personal journey that count - the market can go hang.

Tonight, Lord H and I are out at a murder mystery evening - not sure whether it's a play, an event or something in between. No doubt, all will be revealed - one hopes.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Golfing ladies

A very good day today. Spent the morning doing marketing and PR for Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk), as well as writing up the minutes from earlier in the week. Then played nine holes of golf with Marian over lunch time at the local club. It's great to get back into the swing (yes - pun deliberate) of it again - I'm sure we're much more relaxed without the menfolk, much as though we love them. And also it's much better playing during the day - now that Marian is retired - as we don't have to queue for the holes. In fact, apart from us, there was only a couple of men in front. Very enjoyable.

Visited Gladys from church on the way home - rather frail today, but over the moon that she'd managed to get five books out of the library on her weekly shopping trip. Some of them are rather racy - but knowing her, she'll enjoy that. And a jolly good thing too. Who ever said old ladies are staid? Not to my knowledge!

Have decided to concentrate on novels, and go easy on the short story competition entries for a while. With that in mind, I did more work on "The Gifting" and found myself really enjoying the writing - which I haven't been able to do for a while. A pleasant - and very welcome - surprise indeed. And I think - I hope - the result is all the better for it. Simon's journey is beginning to grip me a little more each day. He hasn't had the same wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am effect that some of my previous main characters have had, but he's certainly making his presence known - if more subtly.

Wrote a poem on the moon for Writers' News (http://www.writersnews.co.uk) and posted onto UK Authors (http://www.ukauthors.com) and Writewords (http://www.writewords.org.uk) for comments.

And Friday night is TV comedy night - what could be nicer? Oh, and by the way, yesterday's trip to the theatre to see Edward Albee's "Three Tall Women" was so dull we ran away in the interval. Not something we do very often. No doubt - and bearing previous experience in mind - this means that the Surrey Advertiser theatre critic will praise it to the skies. She's a woman with very strange tastes indeed on occasion!

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com

Careers Service Committee

Patricia's last day today - so said farewell. She's moving to the New Forest - lucky her! - though she may be back for a couple of days after her hols next week, depending on how the house move goes. A fairly easy morning, other than that, then Careers Service Committee over lunch. It may well be our last one, depending on whether the new Committee structure is accepted. Can't say I'll be devastated - it's never really fitted with the rest of my Student Care stuff.

Spent the afternoon trying to write the minutes up - what joy life is! - and ended with being about halfway through. Still, it could have been worse.

Tonight, Lord H and I are out at the theatre, so hope it's a good one. And, on the writing front, I am pondering whether to stop doing any regular short stories in favour of concentrating on my novel, where my heart lies right now. It might be the best way forward - we'll see.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Counselling day

A good day at work today - am pretty much caught up with what needs doing, and managed to get work reading done too. Though I did ignore the QA stuff on the grounds that life's too short to get beyond the first paragraph of any QA article.

And a very good counselling session today - I really felt I was getting somewhere. Am realising I need to learn to be, rather than doing all the time. Maybe the time has come simply to stop and not worry if things fall off the radar. Also I'd like to do more things I actually enjoy, rather than the things which I think need to be done, and learn not to see life quite so much as a battle I have to grit my teeth and get through - which is, to be frank, very much my current attitude. That's the plan anyway. So have booked another 6 sessions which will - holidays considered - take me up to August, which seems right.

Had a short story rejected by Route when I got home - but as I'd already thought they'd rejected me last November, it wasn't too much of a surprise. They never take anything of mine anyway - not sure why I bothered. I won't again, I think.

And the Guildford Diocese (http://www.cofeguildford.org.uk) summer courses' programme is now out - am strangely enthused by this, as it's a good range this year. Lord H and I are hoping to attend several, and I'm particularly interested in the one about attitudes to the body, and faith & sexuality. Hope to get time off work to do those which take place in the day, so will have to ask if it's okay. Am also thinking of looking into spiritual direction (which the diocese does provide), either later this year or next. This is something I've thought of before, but I've never felt quite ready for it. I'll think again after my counselling sessions are over in late summer. A way forward to ponder, in any case, especially as I'm getting very little from church at the moment (Lord H's comment: we're supposed to get something from church? Nobody told us ...!). We'll see.

Tonight, I'm out to the pub with Sian and Ami from the road - they're both moving out fairly soon, so it will be a "farewell drink".

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

At last! The parcel arrives ...

A miracle has indeed occurred. The Cards Made Easy flyers have at last arrived - though I did have to go 4 doors down to collect them, as they were delivered yesterday to the wrong address. Sigh. The same address which refused them before - but this time must have taken pity on me, thank the Lord. The flyers (for "Pink Champagne and Apple Juice") are okay, but not worth the effort I've had to put in actually to get them. Cards Made Easy aren't a company I'll be using again. And I don't recommend them either.

The rest of the day has been fairly lazy. It's a day in lieu, which means I have to go in tomorrow and Thursday instead. Double groan. I should have been getting loads of writing done, but my stomach upset continues and instead I spent the morning asleep on the sofa. This afternoon, managed to do a little of an email story I'm writing for Writers' News (http://www.writersnews.co.uk) but not as much as I'd have liked. Also the gentleman who yesterday emailed me about what I'd charge for a short story still isn't giving me the background information I need to deal with the request - so I've given him advice on self-publishing, printers and marketing, and also how to make the request clearer to other writers - as what he's saying ain't helping me any!

Shopped in Godalming later, and brought some detox tea and some detox bath oil. Hope to be a new woman by sunset. Hah! Some hope.

Another couple of chapters of "Thorn in the Flesh" turned up from my editor (http://www.jbwb.co.uk) so have sorted out the issues there. And I've had a very positive review on the same novel from the You Write On (http://www.youwriteon.com) site, which is reassuring.

Tonight it's another Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) meeting to minute - hope it's not too long, as I could do with yet more sleep. Not to mention feeling better. How I hate having to be out in the evening and, goodness, what a stick-in-the-mud I'm becoming. There's a surprise. Oh, and it looks like no bank holiday Shakespeare for me either - as "Antony and Cleopatra" is fully booked for the next 2 or 3 months. So my holiday plans are rapidly slipping away. Got quite tearful about this earlier on and threw the info away in a fit of pique, but feel too exhausted to make the effort to find somewhere/something else.

Oh, and I've just finished Nick Hornby's "A Long Way Down". A marvellous, deep and real novel - no matter what some of the strange reviewers on Amazon (http://www.amazon.co.uk) may think - what are they on?! The best Hornby's done so far - read it. But don't be in a state of misery when you do - as it may not help.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com

Reflexology day

Haven't felt well today - a slight stomach upset, which has been rather annoying. But trogged my way through a day at work, as it wasn't bad enough to stay at home. Which meant I could get fairly up-to-date with my in-tray, and go to a glorious, relaxing hour of Reflexology over lunch. So relaxing that I almost drifted off.

Did battle with Cards Made Easy to get my parcel delivered once more - it's becoming something of a hobby now. Not one I enjoy. I asked them to ring the couriers this time as I can't be arsed. Besides, I'm the ruddy customer - so why the hell am I doing all the ringing? They eventually promised me delivery today - but of course nothing was here when I got back from work. Surprise, surprise. Will have to ring them again tomorrow - what a bloody nuisance, and what - in all honesty - a crap company they are. Both of them. In my opinion. Next time, I'll use a local firm - I'd rather pay the extra than have to go through this again. Ever.

Lord H and I are thinking of going up to the RSC in Stratford to see "Antony and Cleopatra" over the bank holiday, but the RSC site (http://www.rsc.org.uk) doesn't seem to have an online booking facility - at least not for me - so I'll have to try to ring. Deep sigh. I hate the phone.

And I've received an email which seems to want to commission me to write a short story - I've no idea what it's about, so have asked for more details. It all sounds most odd to me, but perhaps I'm simply a cynical old trout. Hmm, don't answer that. At least it's "New Tricks" on TV tonight, so I'll be with my people.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Easter 5

Too tired to post my journal yesterday, as I spent all day in Guildford watching three Shakespeare Plays - "The Wars of the Roses" from Northern Broadsides Theatre - which was fantastic. Can thoroughly recommend it. It started with Henry VI - which was, I think, the best - and ended with Richard III. The use of music and drums to portray the various battles was particularly good and very dramatic. A wonderful day, marred only by Lord H being too ill to join me for the 3rd play in the evening - he's better now though.

And so to Sunday ... 8am church this morning, with a new and very sweet visiting priest - Ned Townshend. Good sermon too - about accepting ourselves and not needing to feel inadequate. Almost made me feel like praying again. Almost. He can come again, for sure.

Have spent most of the rest of the day catching up with TV and doing the cleaning. Lord H was well enough to serve at the Family Service, but I never go to that - I'm not needed as there's no communion, plus I don't like children and, hey, I've done my time today. One service a week is more than enough.

And tonight, it's "Invasion", and I'll record the Hannibal drama for later in the week. I can never resist an elephant.

And this week's haiku is:

Tonight, on stage, seeing
the performed prayers of others,
I long to pray again.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

More terrible service from ANC Camberley ...

.... well, did they deliver my goods? Did they hell. Surprise, surprise. Honestly, they're rubbish. Apparently, they've simply returned them to sender, even though they told me they'd be delivering so I've waited in for most of the day. Even their Head Office in Stoke-on-Trent think they're appalling and can't understand it. I am angry beyond belief. And I can't understand why it's me who has to keep phoning and chasing. Surely Cards Made Easy (am I bothering with their web address either? - no way) should make a fuss too. Has anyone heard of customer service at all? Load of thick bastards, say I. And now I'm promised (promised? huh - I'll believe it when I see it) delivery on Monday or Tuesday, but ANC are too stupid to know which day it might be. God, they're idiots.

But at least I've managed to do another 10000 words of "The Gifting" so something in the day has gone right. And I've uploaded another section of that particular novel to the Writewords (http://www.writewords.org.uk) site for comments. And Lord H is back now, thank God.

Tonight we're going to friends in Woking for dinner. I could certainly do with the break. Hope it's not too late though, as I need an early night. Desperately. It's too damn hot.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Meanwhile, back at the writing ...

Ooh, what a day of whizzes and bangs indeed. Up and down all the time! Made two phone calls chasing up people who haven't delivered goods to us yet - the first one being the religious suppliers, Kevin Mayhew (http://www.kevinmayhew.com) who were utterly charming as always (it's a joy every time to speak with the honey-voiced man in the candles department ...) and promised to resend.

The second people were ANC in Camberley who were supposed to deliver a pack of "Pink Champagne and Apple Juice" flyers to me from Cards Made Easy (http://www.cardsmadeeasy.com) - but it's obviously a case of Easy Cards and Difficult Couriers. Mind you, I've had trouble with ANC before and, in my opinion, they're crap. Which I wouldn't mind so much if the woman on reception wasn't quite so rude - she managed to accuse me of rejecting the goods (when I hadn't had them), failing to ring them up (when no card was left) and then threatened (yes, that is how it felt to me ...) to send the goods back to Cards Made Easy without bothering to deliver again. It's a good thing I didn't want them urgently! Anyway, we finally worked out that in fact the driver had delivered to the wrong address entirely, which was of course why the stuff had been refused, and had never bothered to ring me (and they had my number) to sort it out. Apparently, they might possibly be delivered tomorrow, but who can tell? And did I get any kind of apology? Did I heck! At least Cards Made Easy tell me they're ditching ANC and going with a courier who can actually deliver and be nice. And if the goods come back to them after all, they'll send them straight on to me again and use someone else to do so. The plot thickens ...

Did another 2000 words of "The Gifting", which was the main thrust of the day. I'm so glad I've finally got round to writing the novel again, as I was starting to think I'd never get down to it. Ooh, and I've been shortlisted for another Writers' News (http://www.writersnews.co.uk) poetry competition, and also received two very positive reviews on "A Dangerous Man" and "Thorn in the Flesh" on the You Write On (http://www.youwriteon.com) site. Lovely to have a boost now and then.

Further news also on "Maloney's Law" - have sent a partial MS and synopsis off to Poisoned Pen Press (http://www.poisonedpenpress.com) who have requested this. Have let my agent (http://www.sff.net/people/john-jarrold/about.html) know, and he seems happy. Will have to wait and see now. The game continues.

Also collected the proof copy of "Pink Champagne and Apple Juice" from Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) - it looks great! Jackie has done a fantastic job on the typesetting and Keith's cover is brilliant. I'm incredibly happy with it all. There are a couple of things which will need changing in the next print run (should it come to that), but I can worry about that later. At least, the 100 copies will be available for the launch now, as long as they're delivered okay. Lord preserve us from ANC!

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com

Counselling day

Managed to get the first draft of the Mental Health minutes done and with the boss by home time. Lovely. That's a relief. Also minuted a Putting Students First meeting I was secretly reluctant to get involved in (oh no, please, not another meeting - have mercy ...!), but in the end it wasn't so bad. Though, why oh why does everyone insist on using flipcharts? I'm sure they're evil. We'd all communicate better without them. Or not communicate at all, which would be my preferred alternative, I have to say.

Counselling today was quite inspiring - I still feel it's all a muddle, but at least I might be making some sort of movement somewhere. Though I suspect it will be a long and slow process full of frustrations - but ultimately rewarding, I hope. We struggle on ...

Bad and good news this evening. The bad news is that the father of a close friend of mine has just died - a terrible thing. Hard to know what to say - have tried to ring and will try again later, but of course she may not want to talk. In the meantime, have emailed, although I know it's not adequate. What is?

The good news (of a sort) is that Antony Rowe (http://www.antonyrowe.co.uk) have printed and bound 100 copies of "Pink Champagne and Apple Juice" by mistake without getting our go-ahead first. There a slight pages error at the back, according to Jackie, but the relief of being sure we have them for the launch drowns out all other sorrows. And they're offering us a 10% discount for the error, which can't be bad. So I shall go round to Jennifer's (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) tomorrow to look at the proof, but the worry about schedules is wiped away. Phew.

My next two chapters of "Thorn in the Flesh" have come back from my editor (http://www.jbwb.co.uk) who seems pleased with them, so I've made the corrections and will wait for the next set of enclosures. The game continues.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com

Administrative Development Course & Kinesiology

A day in London today at the penultimate university admin course - today we focused on conflict resolution. It was great! Lots of psychology, which I love, plus discussions on emotional intelligence and managing our inner state, plus useful exercises. The presenter was the best so far - as indeed was the course.

Afterwards, I had a session with my kinesiologist (http://www.kinesiology4health.com) which has given me lots of other things to try, which I'll work on over the next month.

The train travel has shattered me though. Thank goodness I don't commute any more.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Mental Health Task Group

Managed to get last week's minutes done, checked and out today - I'm cooking on gas, obviously! Then had the Mental Health Task Group over lunchtime, and struggled with those minutes afterwards. It's the Group's last meeting ever, but fear not - we all just reinvent ourselves under another name - the Student Mental Wellbeing Group - and carry on meeting. Oh the joys of university life ...

A mammoth Tesco shop this evening - thank goodness that's over. I hate having to not go home at once after work is over. Home is my inner sanctuary - I love being here. Sometimes it's like an ache to go home if I'm away. I'd probably be happy never to travel anywhere again, but I have to admit some of our holidays are in fascinating palaces.

Joy! The proof copy of "Pink Champagne and Apple Juice" has apparently arrived at Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk), and Jennifer is happy with it. Have asked if she wants me to check it, but am happy to go with the majority approval, bearing time constraints in mind - the launch is on 22 June. So that's some good news. On the other hand, my "Champers" flyers appear to have been delivered to someone else last week - am desperately trying to get some kind of response from the online printers - idiots!! - (note to self - I won't be using them again ...) as to where they are. Watch this space.

Tonight it's "New Tricks" on TV. Bliss. Better do the ironing while I'm watching it. Groan. And poor Lord H is shattered tonight - work has been hell for him for ages now. Hope it's better soon.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com

Trip to The Vyne, Basingstoke

Average church day today, with no obvious disasters and no sudden baptisms - thank the Lord. Had the first of our visiting priests post Geoffrey's departure - this time it was the turn of Robin Roe, who has a wonderful Irish accent and can spin a good yarn with the best of them. And he has the humility to fit in with us, which is great - some visiting vicars come bearing gifts of their own egos/ideas, which doesn't go down well. Robin can come again.

At last stirred myself enough to wash the car - an action well overdue by now. Then Lord H and I went to The Vyne (National Trust property in Basingstoke) for lunch, a viewing of the house and the usual trip round the shop (including the customary purchase of two chocolate mice - which don't last long). Had an absolutely wonderful rhubarb and apple crumble and custard at lunch, by the way, during which I'm sure I achieved Nirvana. Twice. Also bought more appropriate stuff at the shop for our departing work colleague.

Am planning a slob-out evening in front of the TV, once I've done my usual mother call. And another weekend drifts by ...

This week's haiku is:

Fleeing the dark North,
I leave my history behind.
I'm myself again.

And, boy, does it feel like that!

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Editing day

An easy day - something of a relief after the general to-do of last week. Caught up with my online editing at Bewrite (http://www.bewrite.net), UK Authors (http://www.ukauthors.com), Writewords (http://www.writewords.org.uk) and You Write On (http://www.youwriteon.com) sites. The last one at You Write On has gained me a reading credit for "Thorn in the Flesh", so I'll wait to see what the comments are for that one this time. It's funny that my editor, Jenny,(http://www.jbwb.co.uk) seems to enjoy it more than my fellow struggling writers do. Still, that might work in my favour - you never know!

Brief trip to Godalming today to look for leaving presents and a card for a work colleague who's moving to the New Forest in mid-May. I have some ideas for what we might get, but it may have to wait for the bright lights of Guildford next week. Nap this afternoon, and now Lord H and I are getting ourselves geared up for "Dr Who" and a Chinese this evening. Hmm, lovely - on both counts.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Student Experience Group

Goodness, how agonising it is to go back on a Friday, of all days, just for one day this week. Almost unbearable. Still, at least I managed to catch up on emails - and get almost all the minutes of the Student Experience Group written up by the end of the day. Which leaves that much less to do on Monday when I go back. These two day weekends just aren't long enough.

Barbara Large of the Annual Writers' Conference (http://www.writersconference.co.uk) is willing to mention "Pink Champagne and Apple Juice" at the plenary address of the conference in June, which is great PR, and hugely kind of her. Am really pleased - as is Jennifer of Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk). Barbara even says she'll buy a copy, which is great. Hope she likes it! A couple of people at UniS have mentioned "Pink Champers", and said they'll buy a copy too. So good news there in the writing (aka "real" - one can only hope ...) career zone.

And I've got the next chapter of "Thorn in the Flesh" back from my editor - so will get on with improving that over the weekend. How I wish I could get some good news on "Maloney's Law" though, which is still doing the rounds. I keep prompting my agent (http://www.sff.net/people/john-jarrold/about.html) subtly for some kind of advice on this, but he just doesn't take the bait. Damn it. Next time I write to him, I think I'll just screw my courage to the sticking point (?place? - can't be arsed to look that quote up ...) and ask outright. Am beginning to think he'll dump me soon, which will be irritating. But, hell, I've been there before - so it wouldn't be too much of a surprise. It's so damn hard trying to be - and pretending to others to be - positive, when underneath I feel anything but. Ho hum.

Just finished reading Hilary Mantel's "Beyond Black". Bloody brilliant. Everyone should read it. And I will most definitely be buying and reading more of her stuff. Why can't everyone write like her?

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com

Return from the North

Thank goodness - I'm home! It's been an exhausting three days going up to York, staying with my aunt and uncle, plus my mother, and going to Harrogate and getting my Writers' News (http://www.writersnews.co.uk) poetry winner certificate. Didn't feel as happy about it as I thought I would - perhaps I'm just going through a low phase. Again. Or maybe it's just because I wasn't Poet of the Year, or the Winner of Winners. Hey there, surely my stuff is better than theirs? Though right now it actually all seems rather pointless, especially as my main focus is the novel-writing at the moment. And, much as I'm fond of my more mature relatives (the younger ones of course remaining nameless), they are very demanding. I'll have to see if Lord H can come if I win anything next year. Maybe we can skulk in a hotel or something and avoid telling anyone. Might be the safer option.

Have come back to what looks like a horrendously busy day at work tomorrow. How I hate these meetings. Not to mention the ridiculous amounts of organisation needed to prepare for next week's and the week after's meetings. Heck, has no-one remembered I'm part-time? Answer - no. I shall have to start missing deadlines or something, just in order to get the message across. How I wish I could afford to write full-time. Roll on, retirement ...

Have just finished reading Ann Granger's "Flowers for his Funeral" - standard crime cosy stuff, but pleasant enough for the train. And also finished Jodi Picoult's "Plain Truth" - loved it. Gripping page-turning writing. Though I had realised what had actually happened a long time before the end. Still, Picoult's always worth reading, even though I don't normally like legal novels.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk