Sunday, July 09, 2006

Fourth Sunday after Trinity

Groan - had to get up to prepare for the 8am service today, which isn't a great move for a Sunday morning. At least Lord H gets to stay in bed - lucky him! It was a bit dull too, although the visiting vicar was perfectly nice. And - hurrah! - our new loo works, so no more crossing my legs until I can get to go home. Was flummoxed however by one of the congregation being nice to me and (genuinely) asking me how I was, although I don't think I coped very well with the enquiry. Sorry, Jane H - but I'm grateful you asked. Believe me.

Lord H went to the 11am Family Service, which our new ordinand, Roger, was taking before going off to do a year in Bramley church. It's seems the height of lunacy to me to train someone up to do our local services, and then send them off elsewhere for a year. Still, as everyone knows, the C of E is run by a bunch of old farts (sorry re language, but it's true ...) who are still hanging on to rules made in the 1950s. Or that's the way it appears. Anyway, there was a celebration lunch for Roger in the village hall afterwards (for his ordination? Or his escape from us for a year? Hmm ...). Again Lord H went, but I bunked off; too much church and church gatherings are bad for any sense of inner peace. Instead, I had a much-needed nap, edited more of Darren's novel, updated my website and cleaned the car. So it was a worthwhile decision, all in all.

Actually, the more I think of it, the more I feel that I don't really want to be going to St Peter's for a while. The decision I'm slowly (or not so slowly ...) coming round to making is to resign from being Sacristan, as I don't think any of it fits any more. Not me, not the way I am, and not the way I'd like to be. I suspect I might make it official by the end of July - or perhaps August - and give them 3 months' notice. At least, that would give time for someone else (some other poor bugger!) to be "sworn in". Surely to God, there must be some other way of relating to that great and mystical Being other than the sheer effort of church? I live in hope. And, in the search for where the journey might take me next, I've ordered a couple of books on Amazon ( Alan Jamieson's "A Churchless Faith" and "Journeying in Faith", both of which deal with, and give helpful advice about, what to do if you want to be a Christian but aren't finding church-going remotely helpful.

Just finished Jake Arnott's "Johnny come home" by the way - not bad, and better than other of his novels (no matter how award-winning they might be, I've never got on with them ...). At least this time, I liked the characters, and the ending was suitably bleak to appeal to my current state of being. Ho hum.

Anne Brooke

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