Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Counselling and convent life

Open day at UniS today. I covered some of the late morning, and an hour or so of the end slots. I always find this sort of thing - um, relating to people I don't know; trying to sound knowledgeable when I haven't a clue about anything; you name it really - difficult, but it wasn't as bad as I'd thought it would be. People even seemed to believe what I say - now and then that feels quite good.

Counselling with Zoe at lunchtime. Talked about how angry I'm feeling about church stuff and how bitter I'm feeling about publishing stuff. At least saying these sorts of things gives me some kind of understanding/control over them - otherwise it all just gets out of hand. We also discussed how important I feel it to be at the moment to draw back a little from the amount of things I get involved in - or let myself get involved in. In fact, I feel most nearly myself when I'm on my own - people simply take bits of me away and never seem to give them back (thieves! thieves!); maybe it's time to seek personal nourishment more often and live the kind of life I'd like to. Instead of the kind of life other people (damn them!) would like me to. More nights in and less involvement with the outside world, Carruthers, please ... Sounds like heaven to me.

Uploaded the next section of "The Gifting" onto the Writewords ( site this evening and have one very positive comment back already - thank you, John! Also Paul Bavister from the Writers' Conference ( emailed to say how much he'd enjoyed the two "place-orientated" pieces (both from "The Gifting") I'd sent him. Hell, that feels good too. Thank you, Paul.

Tonight, watched "The Convent" while Lord H was out at Village Hall committee - though he came back early as the Chair wanted to watch the football ... Enjoyed the finale - as I've enjoyed the rest of the series. The concept of the women's personal journey is one I very much relate to right now. Talking (somehow) of which, I've decided to cancel my subscription to the "Daily Bread" Bible reading notes - they're not doing me much good, although one of their writers - Lucy Winkett from St Paul's - is absolutely fantastic in everything she writes, and I would advise anyone - no matter what their religious persuasion - to gobble down everything she says, as the woman is great. Honest and real and human. Not attributes one would normally associate with a priest - so good on you, Lucy. I think she's the reason I've hung onto "Daily Bread" for so long, but now it's got to go. Now if only she'd do a book on her own, rather than sharing with others ...

Am also thinking of using one of the online Christian spirituality sites - - more often, as it's actually quite good. Surprising for a religious website - and thoughtful too. I enjoyed looking round it today.

Oh, and I wrote a poem - "Things to do in winter" - which has been dancing round my head for while. Best to get these things out in the open ...

Anne Brooke

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