Lord, how I hate Mondays. It was a real effort today and everything I did seemed to be weighed down with lead. A real feeling of dragging myself through the effort of it all with zilch sense of actually achieving anything. First of all, we had a meeting about the university's annual fund, explaining what it was. Nice to have a meeting I don't have to minute though, damn it! And it was fairly interesting. Eased straight from there into a brainstorming meeting about the new student mentor role and risks associated with it. Ye gods, I'm bloody good at finding worst case scenarios and running with them. Death, fire and flood, along with illicit affairs and drug dealing, here we come!
After that, I was plunged into the SCS Steering Group meeting (help- something I have to minute!), during which I had items to present, which is my idea of hell. I shouldn't be expected to take minutes and present stuff - it's too much! I also felt cross as for one of the items I'd actually been putting a lot of effort into, I got zilch thanks and a ticking-off for not doing enough. Damn it, I'm only one person, and part-time at that! I can't produce ruddy miracles.
So, my afternoon was spent swinging from irritated to seriously depressed, and 5 o'clock couldn't come fast enough. Mind you, in the middle of all that, Southern Counties Radio broadcast my "Life" piece - which I only just found out about today, damn it - so no chance of recording it then. I'll have to wait for the CD to be sent to me. All that fame and glory, and not a ruddy person to hear it - typical!
At home, yet again no-one's picked up on "Maloney's Law", surprise surprise, and there's no word from my agent that he's been able even to think about looking through "Thorn in the Flesh". Even if he should like it (which, frankly, is becoming less certain by the mile as the minutes tick by ...), I'm bloody well not giving up on "M's L" and shall continue to send it out to anyone that asks. If it's good enough to be shortlisted in major competitions, why the f**k can't it be published?? Ruddy publishers - they can't tell their arse from their elbows, to be frank. That's f***k, of course.
Still, have had a couple of positive comments from the Writewords (http://www.writewords.org.uk) site about the latest section of "The Gifting", which is much appreciated. So maybe all is not lost, and I should remove the (metaphorical) knife currently pressed against my (also metaphorical) fevered brow. Mind you, if people enjoy what I write, it probably means it will (a) win awards and (b) never have anyone want to publish it at all, if previous history is anything to go by. Sometimes, I really hate this life.
Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk
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