A day when things just don’t work …

… dammit. Managed to break one of our nice glasses in the kitchen today – why can’t I ever break one of the horrid ones?? I then spent some minutes looking for the dustpan and brush to clear up the glass, but then realised that Lord H had left it in the loft whilst working on the watertank over the weekend. As I don’t do the loft – too spidery – I then had to get Lord H out of the bath and into the loft to retrieve it. My, the excitement we have in the mornings here in the shires. And we came here for the peace and quiet, don’t you know.

Anyway, as I was running a little late, I waved Lord H goodbye and then started drying my hair. When I left the flat five minutes or so later, he was still outside attempting to start the car. It’s obviously a day for things to go wrong. I offered him my car for the day, but he was determined to get his own started via the tender ministrations of the RAC, so I drove on with a merry wave. As you do. I’ll have to find out whether he actually made it to work later on. What a good wife I am. Not. UPDATE: he did make it to work, but only at lunchtime. The RAC man had no idea what was wrong with the car either. Time for a new one, I feel …

For the rest of today, I’ve been typing up minutes at work and attempting to rationalise my huge shopping list. I ended up shopping at lunchtime (it’s easier to get a parking space in the middle of the day now it’s vacation time) and after work. I’m a glutton for punishment really. And I’m also vaguely thinking about possible conversations between Simon and Annyeke in Hallsfoot’s Battle – but only vaguely, so don’t get too excited. Ho ho.

Tonight, I shall be at home, hurrah! And watching “Springwatch” so I can catch up on all the fledglings I missed over the weekend (honestly, every time I turned away from the webcam for a second, another one had gone, dammit. I sulked for hours. Thus proving what a mature and rounded human being I am …). I’ll also be luxuriating (no doubt) in Rupert Everett’s programme on “The Victorian Sex Explorer”. Bliss.

Though, sadly, my hopes of a pleasant evening were rather dampened by the fact that Waterstones have cancelled my long-outstanding order for Thorn in the Flesh on the spurious grounds that it's not available at all online. A simple email to Gardner's would solve that problem, but they're obviously way too much up their own arses to bother with something so logical. Still, at least (unlike Amazon) they've actually put a "Not Available Online" button on their Thorn entry, together with a link to AbeBooks (no, they've never heard of the book either). So. I have resigned myself to having yet another commercial failure on my hands, this time partly helped by the fact that none of the main online retailers are prepared to stock anything by Goldenford.

Also I think it's time to admit that I'm better off simply writing stuff I want to write to the best of my ability and continuing (hopefully) to sell it to the forty or fifty friends (both online and off) who are prepared to buy it. It saves the agony of thinking: maybe this one will make it? Or this one? Because, to be honest, the whole process is beginning to defeat me, and I don't think I'm prepared to fight to be heard (or even read) any more. This decision also seems to echo the fact that I've been withdrawing from the publishing/pitching ring more and more over the weeks, and it seems to be the right way to go. So, no more painful submissions, I think - I'll leave it to the agent to take the rejections and when they come, I'll try the Goldenford route if there's space or, if not, then I can always print up a few of whatever it is myself. As you can see, I'm worn out and I simply don't want to play the game any more: why should I when the rules are so rarely in my favour?

Anyway, all that said, I've enjoyed reading Chris Preddle's poetry collection, "Bonobos". Some quite refreshing works and less pretension than is usually found in today's poetry. Thank the Lord. Preddle is best in the small moments of human interaction, I think, and in the area of family relationships. Well worth reading for that alone.

Today’s nice things:

1. Thinking about novel scenes
2. TV
3. Being at home this evening.

Anne Brooke
Anne's website
Goldenford Publishers