Inhalations and acceptances

In a brave bid to fight back the grim reaper last night, Lord H persuaded me that a steam inhalation with Vick's vapour rub would be just the ticket. This involved putting a towel over my head and all but plunging my nose into a basin of steaming pungency, while Lord H egged me on from the sidelines and ignored my cries for mercy. You may laugh, but you try breathing in a basin full of eucalyptus knives whilst looking like an extra from "Antony and Cleopatra". Or, as Lord H so kindly put it, like the Virgin Mary after a particularly bad session in the stables. Sometimes, husbands can be a little too honest, to my mind ...

Mind you, it did seem to work, as I felt really spaced out - in a nice way - afterwards, and my throat stopped being quite so fierce. Hmm, I could get quite hooked on these, I feel, and have even had another one today of my own volition. Are steam inhalations addictive?

But it does remind me of the time Lord H and I were on a golf tuition holiday, and I couldn't stop sneezing for two days. Now, this is very amusing for the first half hour or so, but after a while you do actually feel that you might lose the will to live or, at the very least, your nose. So Lord H (who is vulnerable to sneezing bouts and in fact has a whole, very complex sneeze handling routine) persuaded me to do what he has to do in order to stop - which is basically put your nose in a basin of cold water and breathe in. This seemed at first pass to be a good idea but, bearing in mind that I can't swim and am terrified of drowning, he kindly said that he would hold my head under water for me until the problem stopped. However, just as we were set up to do this, I lost my bottle - partly on the grounds that our hotel room was on the ground floor next to a main thoroughfare, so if anyone glanced in, Lord H would have a lot of explaining to do. Oh yes, m'lud, I always hold my wife's head under water until she stops struggling on a regular basis ... Hmm. Mind you, if I am married to a slow-burn wife murderer, what a way to go, eh? Interestingly, that was the same holiday that I dragged myself up early one morning to have a longer bath and was too dopey to disconnect Lord H's recharging shaver which was hovering gently over the water all the while I was washing. I've never seen him move so fast, once he arrived. Really, it's astonishing I'm still alive at all, and Lord H isn't struggling for survival in one of our overcrowded prison cells ...

I didn't bother to go to bed last night, as I knew lying down in our always icy bedroom would be a Bad Idea. So I did a bit of napping on the sofa, along with a lot of crosswords and sudokus, and a spot of TV. It's funny how I've always instinctively known the times when I won't be able to lie down without making myself worse (and keeping poor Lord H awake too ...). Maybe it's something my body tells me, as it's not a state I can easily explain to anyone else? It's also funny that I know when that state has passed, and it happens very suddenly. Always. For instance, today at 5.55am, I knew that sitting up was the only way forward, but at 6am, I knew that lying down on the bed would now be fine, so that's what I did, managing to grab a couple of hours of real sleep at last. Weird stuff indeed.

So, another day off sick today, though I do feel more human, thank God. Shame I'll miss my second back strengthening class, but hope I'll get the homework sent through anyway. Still don't want to eat anything, though I have got dressed for the first time since Sunday. In clothes I haven't been arsed to iron first, I have to say - so Lord H will not be happy, as he has issues with the crumpled look. Well, he is an accountant. What do you expect? I'm hoping that most of the creases will have dropped out by the time the homing hour arrives ...

Today's TV has been quite good, for a change. Couldn't resist the morning's offering of "Star Trek", which was great. Wish the programme planners would bring my regular fix of ST back to a normal hour and day though, so I could feed my obsession properly. I see the next double bill is later in the week at the ridiculous hour of 1 am. I don't want still to be ill enough to see it though! Absolutely not! Oh, and I've also just finished watching my DVD of Oliver Stone's "Alexander". I really enjoyed this - I must be one of the few people around who really like Colin Farrell, and think he's electric on screen. Or maybe I've only seen him when he's having a good moment? I did so love him in that strange off-genre piece about a man stuck in a phone box talking for his life. Can't remember what it was called now (probably something simple like "The Phone Box"?) but it was utterly gripping and he was brilliant. I could have done with more Farrell nudity in "Alexander" however - that would have been fun. He's got a nice body, from the glimpses I had of it.

Oh, and the lovely people at Bird and Moon (http://www.birdandmoon.com/55words/) have accepted the piece of flash fiction I sent them and will publish it online in February. Hurrah! That's really given me a lift, I have to say.

Tonight, I plan to do sod all. Well, I will try to do a little ironing maybe if I have the energy, but I don't see that lasting more than ten minutes. At most.

Today's nice things:

1. Vick inhalations
2. The flash fiction acceptance
3. The Alexander film.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk