I'm ready for my close-up, Mr DeMille - possibly ...

Book News:

Well, the truth is well and truly out. I am indeed, as the Surrey Advertiser has now showcased for all time, a redhead. I sincerely hope that their rather wonderful pic (please note my much-loved collection of fluffy pens, though sadly they couldn't quite get my snow globes in the shot) will finally stop people strangely insisting I'm a blonde or a brunette. Um, no, as is very evident ... Plus a BIG thank you to Jennifer Maxfield at the Surrey Advertiser who somehow managed to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear and produce a rather good article about gay sex and faith in The Heart's Greater Silence from my mindless ramblings this week. Thank you, Jennifer.

To add to this excitement, I've had a visit today from the very charming Sam Milletti of Milletti Films, who is keen to pitch a ten-minute film about the psychology of the writing life in general and my writing in particular as part of his degree course film assignment. We've come up with a few angles so I'll see next week if his is the one chosen.

Yesterday was our Elstead Writers group meeting which was as inspirational as usual (many thanks, all). I think I now have renewed enthusiasm for battling on with my gay fantasy novella, The Taming of The Hawk, though I suspect progress will still be slow. In the meantime, I've done the second round of edits on Angels and Airheads for Musa Publishing, and have sent them off, so am awaiting the response.

This week, biblical story Dancing with Lions was my bestselling story at Amazon US, and gay short story For One Night Only gained a 4-star review at Goodreads (many thanks, Lennis).

I've now also signed up for the upcoming UK GLBTQ Writers & Readers Conference which takes place in Brighton in September, so am very much looking forward to that. Am hoping to be involved on one of the panels, and also in the novel beginnings session, so watch this space ...

Nearer at hand in terms of timings, I'm very happy to announce that for the whole of next week I will be the Featured Author at Pants Off Reviews, and this will include reviews of my gay short stories, an interview and a fun giveaway. Do pop in and join in the fun - all are welcome!

Finally, to round off your weekend and put the zing back in your week, why not pick up a copy of warm-hearted romantic comedy Pink Champagne and Apple Juice? A classic cocktail not to be missed indeed - enjoy.

The Sunday haiku is:

A glimpse of sunshine
across the silent grasses:
one lone daffodil.

Life News:

Yesterday I finally felt well enough to crack open the champagne we were supposed to have on Valentines Day but I was too ill. Mmmm, champagne - it was lovely, thanks. I really have never met a bottle I didn't like. Bliss. To maintain the universal culinary balance, however, I must needs confess I managed to burn the muffins, alas. I was attempting to be such a Kitchen Goddess too (hmm, as if ...) but I fear the oven is hotter than the recipe anticipates. So we do still have muffins, but the burnt bits have gone in the bin and the chocolate chips appear to have sunk to the bottom and are huddling together for safety (though not warmth). Ah well. Perhaps next week's cookery attempt will prove more successful.

Speaking of being a Bad Wife (of a sort), I decided to be very noble and tidy up my computer desk which has been in a shocking state for weeks. This resulted in the unexpected discovery of the Very Vital USB cable that I accused K of losing a fortnight ago. Hmm, anyone for Humble Pie? It's definitely on the menu for me ...

Meanwhile, the bird excitement here on the estate (as it were) is mounting. A couple of days ago I saw three goldfinches on our bird feeder, and K has now also put up the two nesting boxes we've very kindly been given. We might not quite stretch to installing a webcam to view them more thoroughly, but I do hope something will turn up and move in.

And today's sermon pointer: God is never as narrow-minded or resentful as we are. Well, thank goodness for that indeed!

Anne Brooke
The Gathandrian Trilogy
Gay Reads UK
Biblical Fiction UK

Short stories and dancing queens

Goodness, but that old jaw of mine is a thousand times better today, hurrah. I'm barely even thinking about it now. So good news for me, but bad news for Lord H as the talking levels are back to normal. Ah well.

Here's this morning's poem:

Meditation 194

The land keeps
an ancient power.

It whispers
to those whose feet

walk the warmth
and bleakness

of its skin:
hills and valleys,

desert, pastures, streams.
Still its voice

calls men to possess
what cannot be owned.


Keeping to literary matters, I'm both thrilled and relieved that I've actually finished that short story about the post, hurrah! I'm planning to submit it to the upcoming Dreamspinner Press Christmas story anthology, and see how it fares. Well, nothing ventured, nothing gained, as they say.

Lord H and I decided to treat ourselves today and we've been out for lunch at the recently reopened Squirrel at Hurtmore. It closed at the beginning of the year as the owner/manager had problems, but a consortium of three local businessmen have just reopened it and what a magnificent job they've made of it too. Great furnishings (soothing but modern), wonderful food and extremely good staff. Their blackberry, apple and cherry crumble was to die for, and we'll definitely be going again. Well done to them.

This afternoon, I've also treated myself and at last seen the DVD of Mamma Mia which was a birthday present from a friend (thanks, Pauline!). Lord H was less keen, but I thought it was absolutely wonderful. Ah those songs, and what a revelation Meryl Streep was. More like this please. Perhaps best to put my dancing queen frock back in the cupboard till the next time, however ...

Tonight, it looks like the repeats of Top Gear might well call us, and I'm pondering a piece of flash fiction too. But only pondering.

This week's haiku is:

A garden clouded
with white butterflies; they spin
dreams in the bright air.


Today's nice things:

1. Feeling better
2. Poetry
3. Getting my short story sorted
4. Lunch out
5. Mamma Mia
6. Pondering flash fiction.

Anne Brooke - young and sweet and only seventeen (I wish) ...
Vulpes Libris - previews a week of love, death and erotica

Brokeback, massages and God

Now there's a title that you don't really want coming up on your A Level Philosophy paper with the command to "Discuss". Scary biscuits indeed. Anyway, getting God out of the way first (sort of), here's today's meditation:

Meditation 162

Remember the past
with baskets of wheat,
corn, barley, garlic,

figs, grapes,
pomegranates.
Let them rest

on the altar
where God remembers also
and walk away

into bright air
and sunlight.


Other literary news is that Is This Reality webzine have accepted my short story, The Way Back, for future publication, so that's nice - thank you, Jade! And I've spent the morning watching the film of Brokeback Mountain and taking notes for my upcoming Vulpes Libris article. It's such a fantastic film. It makes different and very interesting choices from the book of course - which I intend to talk about in my piece in some measure - but that's as it should be as the mediums of literature and film are very different. At one point at the end, I was blubbing so hard I had to take my glasses off. Which doesn't really do my kick-ass Paxman-style image much good, I grant you. And I know what happens too. Really, it's hard to take notes when you can't see the page for the tears, sigh.

This afternoon, I have had a wonderful massage and facial from Alice, the new Clarins girl. At one point, I was so relaxed I think I drifted off to sleep. Bliss. And the big excitement is that Clarins have finally produced a foot cream which goes on the shelves next week and I have a sample of it, ha! How I long for the day when they finally give us Clarins groupies some soap too. Liquid and hard copy (as it were) would be nice.

Tonight, I'm at the Bible Study at the Rectory and continuing our tour of the Book of James. Well, at least I assume that's what we're doing as I've missed a few weeks what with holidays and stuff, so anything could be going on really. I shall take the prettiest of the Bibles in the flat (ah, my dears, we have loads, in all sorts of versions, shapes and sizes, I fear ...) along with me and attempt to look confident. That way, nobody will realise I know nothing. Hell, it's a plan.

I also mustn't forget to listen to today's radio episode of Torchwood, plus Krod Mandoon and that pesky flaming sword of his also beckons. I'm beginning to have a soft spot for that man. Do you think I need help?...

Today's nice things:

1. Poetry
2. Short story acceptance
3. Watching Brokeback Mountain
4. Clarins massage & facial
5. Bible thoughts
6. Torchwood
7. TV.

Anne Brooke - totally chilled out, apart from the weather ...

Contracts, reviews and sock considerations

Managed to grab a decent amount of sleep yesterday, thank goodness, but have still taken the day off today as I did feel rather shaky this morning. I also want to be as well as possible for tomorrow, which I think is probably a sensible move.

Anyway, today there's good news and mixed news ('twas ever thus ...). I was delighted to receive both my eBook contracts from Bristlecone Pine Press, one for Thorn in the Flesh and the other for Pink Champagne and Apple Juice. So I've read through and signed those and will get them back to Leslie next week.

And the great Scott Pack has nobly flicked through Maloney's Law (an act surely well beyond the Call of Duty ...) and considers it to have a certain charm, though it's not as slick or professional as other crime novels. So a rather mixed response, sigh. Ah well - as I said in the comments which you can find here, we Essex Gals don't really understand the concept of slick professionalism. Unless it comes with white stilettos of course ... But I'm certainly grateful for the mention, as Lord knows I need all the help I can get - so thank you for that, Scott!

This afternoon, I've packed for my hospital stay tomorrow, though I do wonder if - now I'm not having the ablation - they might let me out early. That would be good, but I'm not taking any chances so have packed anyway. I can always bring it all home again. Hell, I've even remembered my specially purchased flannelette nightie, so that should get them running to the hills for sure. I've also taken it hugely easy and done nothing to further my literary career today (professional or otherwise, tee hee ...) but instead have watched my DVD (yes - we do DVDs too here in the twilight zone!) of My Beautiful Launderette. A gorgeous film - you can't really go wrong with Daniel Day-Lewis and a dash of boy-on-boy action. All so gloriously 80s.

Oh, and I've decided to change my sock-wearing routine. Sorry if this is dull - or possibly hugely OCD - but I always wear black socks when I'm working and happy socks (ie non-black ones) at weekends. That's so I know when I'm supposed to be having fun. I decided a couple of weeks ago that, in line with my slow withdrawal from other aspects of the dreaded Writing Game, I'd wear happy socks on Thursdays and Fridays too, as I wasn't going to view writing as "work" any more. I'm going to try to view it as a fun hobby, hence the happy socks. I think it might be helping, somehow, in a weird sort of a way. And as the Doyenne of the Non-Professional Novel, I do of course have standards to maintain ...

Anyway, if the hospital keep me in, then I should be back on Friday, but probably won't feel much like blogging. But we'll see. I hope both my readers (Gawd bless you, sirs ...) have a good end of week, and hope to catch up soon.

Today's nice things:

1. Signing two contracts
2. Getting a mention on Scott's blog
3. Films
4. The existential mystery of socks.

Anne Brooke
Anne's Website

Sick as the proverbial ...

A day off today as I've finally succumbed to the evil demands of the cold I've been developing, sigh. Having managed a grand total of 4 hours' sleep on Sunday night and a gloriously indecent one hour last night, I probably ruddy well deserve a day off. I gave up even trying to sleep at around midnight yesterday and got up and began to do a stream of endless puzzles in the living room instead. Couldn't be arsed to turn the TV on really. My one hour's sleep finally overtook me on the sofa at around 5am. Frankly it was delicious.

So today, I called in sick and have been dousing myself with the usual Lemsip, Lucozade and Echinaforce combo. Oh, plus honey and a Vick's vapour rub steam bath. And yet more puzzles. Might try another steam bath later - Lordy but it's good to be able to breathe, you know. I've also watched my video of the totally wonderful Galaxy Quest, which is just such a great film and never fails to cheer me up, and I've had a nap, hurrah. Don't want to overdo it though - I'm hoping for sleep tonight after all ...

All in all therefore, I'd make an excellent Lydia Languish - I haven't even had the energy to think about Hallsfoot's Battle, let alone bring it up on screen at all. Simon, Annyeke and the rest of the merry gang will have to hold their own by themselves for a while, I think. I'm good for nothing more tonight than TV, whimpering and wondering if I ought to get round to eating anything at all. Because, my dears, my appetite has packed up and headed south for the winter. If you see it wandering around looking lost, please point it in the right direction and send it back. I imagine I'll need it someday.

Most of all, I'm bloody determined to get better before bloody Thursday!!

Today's nice things:

1. Puzzles
2. That hour of longed-for sleep
3. Napping.
4. Galaxy Quest
5. TV.

Anne Brooke
Anne's website

Golf, Bones and Books

Have managed to edit another couple of chapters of The Bones of Summer today and am now on Chapter 21, p201. It's the start of the end phase, if you see what I mean, so I'll leave it till tomorrow now.

I've also played golf with Marian - Lordy, but we were rubbish. Goodness alone knows what the hell I was doing on the 8th hole, but Marian had to crawl into a bush twice in order to rescue my ball. And I was at that point still on the damn tee. Bloody hell eh!!! Believe me, 5 off the tee is not my best moment ever ...

After that disaster, I popped into Godalming and managed to get all my shopping without irritating people or smashing anything. Makes a change from last week then. I even had quite a jolly conversation with the scary man in Boot's, who now realises I'm insane and handled it accordingly. Probably the best way really.

I've also watched, as per the recommendation of Bill on MySpace, the gay comedy "Bedrooms and Hallways". Thoroughly enjoyed it, so thanks for the tip-off, Bill! And yes, I did love the flatmate. And you can't really go wrong with James Purefroy and Kevin McKidd, can you? It's "Rome" all over again, but with comedy. And without the death, blood and gore. Though there's nothing wrong with death, blood and gore, I have to say ...

Tonight, Lord H and I are off to Pulborough Brooks to their Nightingale Festival, so best keep my ears open. There might even be a few nightjars too - you never know your luck.

And I've just finished reading a glorious short story collection - Laura Solomon's Alternative Medicine. A cracking collection, with emotional acuity (hell, I like that phrase - it sounds like I know something!), humanity and depth. Well worth a read for sure.

Today's nice things:

1. Editing
2. Books
3. Nightingales - I hope!

Anne Brooke
Anne's website
Goldenford Publishers

Lydia Languish and some thoughts on royalty

Goodness me but today I have been the Lydia Languish of Godalming. It's the only way to be, m'dears. I had a lovely lie-in, followed by an equally long bath and a Lemsip. All utterly exhausting of course - which may explain why breakfast was such an intellectually challenging exercise. The layout of the flat means that the kitchen is actually the furthest room away from the dining room (almost), and in the course of breakfast preparation, I managed to forget the milk, the spoon, the Lucozade (fruit juice replacement when ill) and the Lemsip (see above). So I seemed to have to make eight trips before I could actually sit down and eat rather than one. That's the week's exercise done then ...

This led me nicely into a lovely two-hour nap in the middle of the day and, indeed, I was only woken up by what seemed to be an enormously loud buzzing next to my ear which turned out to be from an insect the size of a pin-head. How do they make so much noise? Do they carry microphones? Project their voices? It's a mystery.

Anyway, as I was up, I decided finally to watch my DVD of "The Queen", which Lord H kindly bought me for my birthday a couple of months back. Marvellous - really classy and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Almost made me think about liking Diana - but, really, as she was such a manipulative cow (pause for brickbats and hate mail, no doubt, but it's true!...), that would be a bridge too far of course. My sympathies were with Prince Philip. And the boys. Dreadful to lose a parent at that age, no matter how irritating they are. Anyway, I must have been one of only four people in the country (including Lord H) who really couldn't have cared either way - and I know about the other two as we met them when we were out walking on the day of the wretched woman's funeral: wry smiles exchanged all round on that occasion. Oh no, that's not true - my stepfather never trusted her either. Five of us then!

Actually, I really like Camilla. Much more dignity and she'll make a far better queen. And besides it's always lovely to see a man choose the less outwardly attractive woman. It gives hope to the rest of us normals ... Go, Camilla, go girl!

Tonight, it's "Mock the Week" (I love Hugh Dennis - he's the best!) and "My Name is Earl", so I shall be glued. And I might even have a sherry - I was too ill for Sherry Night last night - but we'll see. After all, I don't want to have a relapse ...

Today's nice things:

1. Napping
2. DVDs
3. TV.

Anne Brooke
Anne's website

Editing tics and dinosaurs

Oh lord, more editing tics today - now I can't seem to stop writing words with "some" in them. Somewhat, someone, sometime and just generally some. I'm attempting to put them in the cage with all the a little phrases which I'm also finding. But don't worry - I'll put them in another novel soon, I fear. Hmm. As you can tell, I've spent a large part of the morning and early afternoon sorting out The Gifting, and I'm now at the start of Chapter Thirteen - of seventeen, though they're long chapters so I have over 100 pages to go. It's beginning to astonish me how much I've managed to pack in, and how much of Medieval life there is in it. Though I suppose that's not entirely a surprise, seeing as I read Medieval English for my undergraduate degree and Medieval Latin for my postgraduate one - but, no, I can't remember anything about it now, so please don't ask me!

I forgot to mention in my blog of yesterday how much Lord H and I enjoyed the play we saw on Thursday night. Only an hour long, "Skin Tight" nevertheless packed a powerful emotional punch and held us utterly gripped. I actually found myself in tears at one point, and laughing in sympathy the next. There's nothing like a piece of good experimental theatre to stir the blood. It's one of the best things on earth.

Oh and, during the week, I had an unexpected conversation with a former fellow church-member who turned up at Gladys' while I was visiting. Wendy wasn't one of the people I would normally talk to at St Peter's but, when she asked the question, I did try to be as honest with her as possible about why I left. It did feel like a punch in the gut though when at the end of what I was trying to say, she came back into the conversation with "Oh, you mean you've lost your faith then?" Er, thank you, but no. It doesn't feel like that at all - weren't you even listening to what I said, Wendy? Honestly, I don't know why I bothered. If I hadn't been feeling stunned by her comment, I would have liked to (a) give her a good slap - though I appreciate that's not a good response to a lady in her late 70s, and (b) say that it's my faith in the church I've lost, not - as far as I'm aware - my faith in God. Such as it is. But the moment passed and frankly I'm not going to bother explaining again.

Anyway, back to today - late afternoon, Lord H and I went into Guildford to see the film, "A Night at the Museum". It was great - we both really loved it, and it made a change from having been in the kingdom of the air and the land of the fire all day (at least for me and in literary terms). And, yes, it had a dinosaur in it - hurrah! I love dinosaurs - there can never be enough of them. Also I think Ben Stiller is ace in quirky comedies with heart. Anyway, we were back in time for "Dr Who" - which I'm sure was a rehash of a plot from a couple of seasons ago, but nice to see Martha in full action mode.

I'm not feeling so good at the moment though, I have to say - either the onset of hay fever or a cold, but I can't quite tell. Damn it. Will try to get an early night, I think.

Today's nice things:

1. Editing
2. The film
3. Dr Who - the rehash.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Queer Up North and hobnobbing with the stars ... almost

A fairly relaxed day today. It feels soooo good to get my luggage back. Everything feels much calmer, as if I’m really here now rather than being in transit. Hmm. Maybe I do attach too much importance to my things after all. But they’re my things. Thank goodness it’s counselling tomorrow, eh? I obviously need the input.

And the office is glad I’ve got my case, as it means I can finally donate the Madeiran honey cake to the National Office Cake Shortage Society. Hmm. It’s lovely too – even Ruth liked it, and she’s not usually a sweet-toothed gal. Carol too was glad of the extra snack input as she spent most of Monday and Tuesday not being able to get into her chocolate biscuit drawer which had jammed. Horror indeed. Luckily, Estates & Facilities treated it as an emergency and it was opened yesterday afternoon. Phew! We in Student Care Services are unable to care for our students without the proper culinary support, you know …

Oh, and I forgot to say that yesterday was especially nice as one of our students came in to thank the Dean for helping her through a bad year and therefore enabling her to get her degree and with two interviews lined up too. Fantastic! We so rarely get to hear the good news stories here – normally people only come in to complain. We were all quite choked up with the surprise of it all.

Meanwhile, back to today, I spent quite a while chatting (oh, sorry, networking) with the gals in the Student Advice Office, which made a nice change. We mainly chatted about holidays and religion & health. As you do. And what with term being over for now, we’re not too busy. Back at my desk we had a visitation from the delightful Melanie from Central HR, who’s apparently lined up to take over the care of Student Care Services once the HR restructuring is completed. Hey, we have an owner at last – hurrah! Mind you, now she’s met us, perhaps she’ll beg for a different job (please God, not Student Care Services - anybody but them!) …

On the novel front, Adam Pushkin of Queer Up North (http://www.queerupnorth.com/) seems interested in having a review copy of “A Dangerous Man”, so I’m hoping he might like it. Thanks hugely to gay author Jay Mandal (whose books are great fun and can be found on Amazon) for the tip-off!

Went for a much-needed walk (note to self: must get back into my exercise regime if only for the sake of my blood pressure!) round the campus at lunchtime. This afternoon, I have caught up with the AUA (Association of University Administrators - http://www.aua.ac.uk/) newsletters in all their various formats, so I am primed for their conference that I’m attending from Monday to Wednesday next week in Nottingham. Thank goodness I’ve got my case back, eh. Another couple of days and there would have been no real need to unpack the darn thing. It did amuse me that one of the AUA newsletters mentioned a recent study that’s been done on how many people have affairs during conferences (oh Lord, how clichéd can you be – really, people!!) but the editor put a little aside (as it were) at the end reassuring us all that such things would never happen at the AUA, of course! Phew, that’s a relief then. I need my beauty sleep, you know.

And a former colleague from my last job, Ronnie, rang up to catch up on the news, which was unexpected, and fun. He's a part-time consultant now as he's been retired for years, but his son, Alex Yearsley, is very knowledgeable in the diamond smuggling trade (in terms of being on the side of the law!) and was apparently involved in drafting some of the script for a new film, "Blood Diamond", which opened recently. As part of the perks, he was invited to the first night, took Ronnie as a surprise, and both of them got the Red Carpet Treatment, and ended up shaking Leonardo di Caprio's hand. Bloody hell, eh! I'm obviously not quite in the inner circle of fame and will have to try harder next time. Though I have to admit to not being able to stand L di C. Didn't tell Ronnie that though ...

Catching up on books I read whilst in Madeira:

1. "The Mystery at Folly Mill" by Justin Brooke (who may or may not be my grandfather, but how weird if it is) - nice pace of story, but very much "of its time", though with an interesting focus on the psychology of the characters rather than the action. Hmm ...

2. "Gravedigger" by Joseph Hansen. A gripping gay PI story, but the man simply can't write starts or endings from this sample of work. But I loved the characters (and the plot), which were very exciting and I shall definitely read more.

Tonight, I’m really hoping to do some writing as I desperately need to get back into it in a structured way rather than scribbling a few sentences round the edges of my life, as is happening at the moment. I miss it. Big time!!

Today’s nice things:

1. The hope that Adam at QUN might like Michael
2. Happy students
3. Writing – I hope!

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com/
http://www.goldenford.co.uk/

Rugby and relapses

There seems to have been a lot of rugby this weekend, which Lord H has been glued to when he thought I wasn't looking or was too ill to tease him about it. But actually I like Johnny Wilkinson - for a rugby player (I don't like muscle-bound men), he's really quite cute. And I don't really mind rugby either (though don't tell Lord H as teasing him is such fun) - of all the ball sports, it does seem to be the one where every so often all the teams get together and have sex on the pitch (though Lord H always sighs at this point and says it's a scrum), so I'm not complaining. And they do have good thighs.

Well, I'm sorry to say that today has seen something of a relapse in the convalescence arena (yes, it is easy to tell I have worked in consultancy, sadly ...), which meant I was up all night again yesterday watching TV and doing sudokus, though I did manage a couple of hours dozing on the sofa, thank God. But I did enjoy the late night (well, late night for me) film - Bruce Willis in "Unbreakable". Great stuff - subtle and very clever, with a stonkingly good performance from La Willis. It's funny how much I can't stand the bloke when he's doing his action hero stuff, but when he's doing his quieter, more reflective roles - and actually acting - I think he's as sexy as hell. Ah, there's something about that glorious mix of macho vulnerability that gets me every time. Some day, I shall have to watch "Sixth Sense", as I'm sure I'll love him in that too.

So today Lord H has been to church on his own, doing server duties for the new priest - who apparently was more nervous than a man of his age really ought to be in a new church. I do realise that St Peter's does have a rebellious reputation in the diocese (dark mutterings of bloody St Peter's, always stirring up trouble have been heard in secluded corners at synods ...), but what did he think the congregation were going to do? Riot? Tear him from the altar and pin him to the vestry door as an example? Throw pew bibles if the sermon was bad? Hascombe isn't exactly a hotbed of positive action. Lord H thinks they'll get used to him in the end though and, besides, what the priest does or wants the congregation to do has never swayed the church before. This is the country, not the town. St Peter's is much like the London Symphony Orchestra who, as an old friend who used to play violin for them once told me, inevitably perform the music on the night in the same way they've always done it, no matter what the conductor is doing or what they've pretended to do during rehearsals.

Oh, and I've been very brave today and posted the next section of "The Gifting" (ie the start of Chapter 4) onto the Writewords (http://www.writewords.org.uk) site, as I've been too twitchy to post any for ages. What a wimp, eh? It'll be interesting to get comments, as they always think of stuff I haven't spotted. And at least I've performed my one brave act of the week, so I don't have to worry about planning any more derring-do for the next seven days. Hurrah.

For the rest of the day, I'm going to do nothing. I think today's problem might indeed be that I overdid it yesterday, and am reaping the consequences, damn it. Hell, I am beginning to sound more and more like a slightly fragile Victorian heroine - I expect the doctor will pop round any day now and demand that I be bled to bring the fever down or attach leaches to my forearm. Well, they are thinking of closing the local hospital, as too many people are being cured by it, so we in the Godalming area (which will become known as the "death zone" if the hospital is closed, as we will then be more than an hour away from any help at all ...) must use what means we can find for survival ...

And this week's haiku is:

January: colds,
flu, Lemsips, Vick and coughing.
Thank God for the spring.

Well, there's always hope, eh?...

Today's nice things:

1. Men having sex on a rugby pitch
2. Bruce Willis doing sultry and vulnerable
3. Sudokus (this week, where the bloody hell would I be without them?!)

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Inhalations and acceptances

In a brave bid to fight back the grim reaper last night, Lord H persuaded me that a steam inhalation with Vick's vapour rub would be just the ticket. This involved putting a towel over my head and all but plunging my nose into a basin of steaming pungency, while Lord H egged me on from the sidelines and ignored my cries for mercy. You may laugh, but you try breathing in a basin full of eucalyptus knives whilst looking like an extra from "Antony and Cleopatra". Or, as Lord H so kindly put it, like the Virgin Mary after a particularly bad session in the stables. Sometimes, husbands can be a little too honest, to my mind ...

Mind you, it did seem to work, as I felt really spaced out - in a nice way - afterwards, and my throat stopped being quite so fierce. Hmm, I could get quite hooked on these, I feel, and have even had another one today of my own volition. Are steam inhalations addictive?

But it does remind me of the time Lord H and I were on a golf tuition holiday, and I couldn't stop sneezing for two days. Now, this is very amusing for the first half hour or so, but after a while you do actually feel that you might lose the will to live or, at the very least, your nose. So Lord H (who is vulnerable to sneezing bouts and in fact has a whole, very complex sneeze handling routine) persuaded me to do what he has to do in order to stop - which is basically put your nose in a basin of cold water and breathe in. This seemed at first pass to be a good idea but, bearing in mind that I can't swim and am terrified of drowning, he kindly said that he would hold my head under water for me until the problem stopped. However, just as we were set up to do this, I lost my bottle - partly on the grounds that our hotel room was on the ground floor next to a main thoroughfare, so if anyone glanced in, Lord H would have a lot of explaining to do. Oh yes, m'lud, I always hold my wife's head under water until she stops struggling on a regular basis ... Hmm. Mind you, if I am married to a slow-burn wife murderer, what a way to go, eh? Interestingly, that was the same holiday that I dragged myself up early one morning to have a longer bath and was too dopey to disconnect Lord H's recharging shaver which was hovering gently over the water all the while I was washing. I've never seen him move so fast, once he arrived. Really, it's astonishing I'm still alive at all, and Lord H isn't struggling for survival in one of our overcrowded prison cells ...

I didn't bother to go to bed last night, as I knew lying down in our always icy bedroom would be a Bad Idea. So I did a bit of napping on the sofa, along with a lot of crosswords and sudokus, and a spot of TV. It's funny how I've always instinctively known the times when I won't be able to lie down without making myself worse (and keeping poor Lord H awake too ...). Maybe it's something my body tells me, as it's not a state I can easily explain to anyone else? It's also funny that I know when that state has passed, and it happens very suddenly. Always. For instance, today at 5.55am, I knew that sitting up was the only way forward, but at 6am, I knew that lying down on the bed would now be fine, so that's what I did, managing to grab a couple of hours of real sleep at last. Weird stuff indeed.

So, another day off sick today, though I do feel more human, thank God. Shame I'll miss my second back strengthening class, but hope I'll get the homework sent through anyway. Still don't want to eat anything, though I have got dressed for the first time since Sunday. In clothes I haven't been arsed to iron first, I have to say - so Lord H will not be happy, as he has issues with the crumpled look. Well, he is an accountant. What do you expect? I'm hoping that most of the creases will have dropped out by the time the homing hour arrives ...

Today's TV has been quite good, for a change. Couldn't resist the morning's offering of "Star Trek", which was great. Wish the programme planners would bring my regular fix of ST back to a normal hour and day though, so I could feed my obsession properly. I see the next double bill is later in the week at the ridiculous hour of 1 am. I don't want still to be ill enough to see it though! Absolutely not! Oh, and I've also just finished watching my DVD of Oliver Stone's "Alexander". I really enjoyed this - I must be one of the few people around who really like Colin Farrell, and think he's electric on screen. Or maybe I've only seen him when he's having a good moment? I did so love him in that strange off-genre piece about a man stuck in a phone box talking for his life. Can't remember what it was called now (probably something simple like "The Phone Box"?) but it was utterly gripping and he was brilliant. I could have done with more Farrell nudity in "Alexander" however - that would have been fun. He's got a nice body, from the glimpses I had of it.

Oh, and the lovely people at Bird and Moon (http://www.birdandmoon.com/55words/) have accepted the piece of flash fiction I sent them and will publish it online in February. Hurrah! That's really given me a lift, I have to say.

Tonight, I plan to do sod all. Well, I will try to do a little ironing maybe if I have the energy, but I don't see that lasting more than ten minutes. At most.

Today's nice things:

1. Vick inhalations
2. The flash fiction acceptance
3. The Alexander film.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Film city

Another sick day, ye gods. Will they ever end?!? Woke up way too early this morning feeling like shit. Nothing weird - or at least no weirder than normal - just a rather nasty cold and the old catarrh problem. Hurrah - not. What I should have done of course was drag myself up when I woke in order to start on the first of today's Lemsips, but foolishly I ignored the issue and stayed in bed till I felt doubly worse. So no work today - which makes me feel guilty as I should have been minuting the Steering Group which had a special guest appearance from our new registrar, and it means Ruth probably had to do it instead, and she's snowed under anyway. Still, it couldn't be helped.

The day has also brought no significant improvement, I have to say - I didn't even bother getting dressed, which is most unusual. Still, at least I managed to wash, at about 2pm when the energy levels rose slightly. Must be the ley lines, or some such nonsense ... I also typed up - slowly - the writing I did over the weekend, but couldn't be arsed to do anything else remotely creative beyond that. Instead, I attempted - and largely failed - to do some sudoku and the odd crossword, and spent the rest of the day watching the video/DVD. Films viewed: (a) Down with Love. Verdict - badly written, badly acted shit. To be brutal. Which was pretty astonishing since it starred Renee Zellweiger (or however you spell it ...) and Ewen MacGregor (however you spell that ...). I wouldn't bother, if I were you. (b) My Beautiful Laundrette - which is always a class act no matter how often you see it. You can't really go wrong with a young Daniel Day Lewis with his kit off. Phew - hot stuff. I even forgot to finish my Lemsip with that one. Oo-err, missus (c) Sense and Sensibility. Ah, perfect. And it has the utterly gorgeous Alan Rickman, so what more do you need? As always, I cried like a baby at the end. I am such a wimp.

Lord H came home after work with fresh stocks of ginger beer, Lucozade and the essential chocolate buttons - which are the only things which make being ill worthwhile. Tonight, he's out at his theology class, continuing to look at ethics (ah, if only we had some ...), so I think I'm going to slump once more in front of the TV and watch my video of Emma. Well, now I've unearthed the Jane Austen theme, I might as well stay the course ... And I can drool over the adorable Jeremy Northam, which will cheer me up once more.

God, I hope I'm better tomorrow, though at the current moment, I'm not confident.

Today's nice things:

1. Films
2. Chocolate
3. Ginger beer

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Sick day and the inner child

Not a great title for any novel, but there you go. Still feeling rough today, so am having a day's sick leave. Which means drinking my way through the European Lucozade lake, keeping Mr Kleenex in business single-handedly, reading a non-literary page-turner (of which more later) and watching my new DVD of "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers". How I love a Hollywood musical. It's not as good as "Calamity Jane" of course, but then nothing ever is. Ah times were simpler then ... And goodness what small waists they all had. I'm green with envy and regretting the demise of the corset.

I'll see how well I am tomorrow, but I'm hoping this bout of swooning doesn't mean the rest of the year will follow suit. However, on the other hand, I am making good inroads on my heartfelt New Year wish never to have to do a Monday at work again. Suspect I won't be able to keep that up for long though.

And I've been thinking - on and off - about my counselling "inner child" homework. Kunu was keen that I try to think what sort of things my childhood self enjoyed doing. You've have thought the question was simple, but in fact I'm really struggling with it. It's hard to connect with who I once was. In fact I have a strong feeling that every ten years or so I slough off the former me like old skin from a snake and reinvent myself as something else entirely. Maybe this accounts for the trouble I have with my family? - they tend to relate to the old me (or one of them) and I have no idea what they're talking about. As a result, as I'm trying to do my homework, events from childhood skip in and out of my head like snatches of an old film I don't remember seeing, and it's difficult to grasp anything useful from the reel. All I can say at the moment is that I think the childhood me liked (a) being left alone (b) making up stories with her toy horses, (c) reading, and (d) school holidays (at least in the ghastly primary school years). Not much to go on, but I suppose it's better than nothing. Ho hum.

I've decided to conserve energy for getting well today, and do no writing. But, as I reached 90,000 words in "The Gifting" yesterday evening, the guilt factor is low - hurrah! And, by default, it means that I am carrying out my resolution of not pushing myself quite so much, ho ho. I think that the next bout of writing I'll be doing - perhaps starting it later in the week, depending on how I feel - will be related to Sue Haywood's (http://www.teafriendsandchocolate.com/sue/) proposed "Pink Champagne and Apple Juice" project, and to do with biographies for characters from that novel. It will be quite a fun project, I think, and also nice to have a break from fantasy for a while (or at least fantasy writing!).

And, as promised earlier, a note on the reading I've been doing today: having started Katy Gardner's "Hidden" yesterday, I've finished it today. Nice, readable stuff. Strongly placed in the "woman in jeopardy" genre, but I loved both the ending twists, which were first-class and which I didn't see coming. Good stuff. If you want a nice, exciting read and you like that genre, I can recommend it.

Today's nice things:

1. Reading
2. Watching my DVD
3. Thinking about inner children.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Counselling and a London jaunt

Up at the crack of dawn today in order to avoid the car parking crisis of Guildford. Which meant I was there with an hour to spare before my Counselling appointment and with more spaces than you could shake a complex at. But this was actually good news as it meant I could scour the shops for those essential Christmas staples - such as a pack of 5 videos to record the numerous goodies on TV which we can't watch as we'll be out and which we'll never watch later. Ever. I am ashamed to say that we have some marvellous films on tape which we recorded about 7 Christmases ago and which we still haven't got round to watching. Ah well. Oh, and I also bought a box of chocolate biscuits from M&S - those one with extra thick chocolate and added chocolate bits with, um, chocolate, just in case there isn't enough chocolate in the first place. Well, we've got to have some comfort food in the flat for the season.

So onto my last counselling appointment with Kunu before Christmas. We talked about my conversation with Michael which I'd written down, so that was useful. To all three of us. I think I've worked out that actually having the conversation made me feel incredibly energetic and alive for about two or three days, but then comes the slump. Which I think I'm probably still in now, and will probably go some way towards explaining my current jittery exhaustion. (Query: can you actually have jittery exhaustion? Hell, you know what I mean ...). Kunu thinks I should go on having conversations with Michael where I (we?) feel it's right and see what comes out of it. I'm not sure I'll write them down again though - it's too tiring, m'dear - but maybe I'll go with the flow. Gosh, how girly that sounds - there's hope for me after all! Michael, of course, would make an instant decision as to what to do and stick with it. Lucky bastard. Oh, and during the session we also talked about my early family life, which was quite enlightening. Perhaps it's true after all that there's nowt wrong with me and it is the rest of the buggers. Hmm, dream on.

This afternoon, I've typed up the Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) minutes and done my outstanding actions, so I have the halo of secretarial sainthood even now glowing about my temples. I might do a bit of writing or I might just sod the whole thing and have a quick nap. The latter seems the better option right now. And tonight, I'm out in London with Jane W - we've booked a curry at 7pm in Waterloo and a catch-up, so that'll be good. I'll have to remember not to breathe when I return home though - how Lord H hates the smell of secondary curry!

Today's nice things:

1. Counselling
2. Buying chocolate biscuits
3. Seeing Jane W.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com