Rain, cunning plots and an evening in

Took an age to drag myself up this morning – must be the effect of all that weekend activity. Can’t be the bottle of wine we finished off last night, oh no, of course not. Alcohol never passes my lips (I take it intravenously …). Quite a slow day at work really, though I’ve chased a professor or two, just to keep my hand in. Can’t have the management having an easy time, you know. The boss is off today, but has emailed me, asking me to arrange a meeting for the strangely named FIG Management Group. Nobody here has a clue what that is, and neither has the boss let me know either how long he wants the meeting for or how many people are coming. Which makes it tricky when it comes to estimating room size and how many muffins they need. Still, I’ve done my best and will have to see what we can come up with, until he can enlighten me further.

Not only that, but Counselling is having trouble with their electricity supply. Ruth has emailed Estates asking them to deal with it, but they don’t seem to be keen. We think it might be a cunning university plot to electrocute us all over a period of time so that they can save money. Hmm, you heard it here first … And it gives a whole new meaning to the phrase, “Come to Counselling and have all your problems solved – in a flash!”

I’ve also had a quite in-depth conversation with someone I met on the way to the loos – she obviously knew who I was, but I didn’t have a clue about her. Darn it – still, I did the best I could, and hope I passed muster. Knowing my luck, it’ll probably turn out to be my mother. Again.

It’s still raining, by the way. Will it ever stop? In my more optimistic days, I used to like to think of it as liquid sunshine, but I was just too cute for words then. And if you believe that, you’ll probably believe anything … Still, managed a walk around campus at lunchtime, and also popped into the new exhibition at the art gallery. Not as interesting as last time, I think, but I enjoyed the two pictures of camels at night, and the tall seascape scene. Lovely! In the loos (lots of loo stories today, I fear …) on the way back, I came across some of our dance students who’d obviously been doing something strange outdoors – caked in mud, huge amounts of giggling, and desperate to clean up before the next exam. Poor things – I’m sure they can ring Student Line for that kind of lecturer cruelty.

This afternoon, I’ve checked the (hopefully) final draft of the mentoring handbook – it will be soooo nice to get that job off my job list sometime. Time for ordering that A5 paper and presentation folders, I feel. Nice to act like a real secretary now and again!...

Oh and great news - I've reached 120,272 words in The Gifting and I'm just at the end of the final scene, with the last small chapter to sort out. Hurrah! I'm beginning to think I might just one day make it to the end now.

Tonight, Lord H is out at theology class – the Reformation in England calls him – and I’m looking forward to an evening in. Watching some videos, and then there’s “New Tricks” on TV. Lovely. Before that however, I must write to one of my pension companies (I have many and varied due to an wild job-life in my 20s ...) telling them to close me down (as it were) - they're taking out so much in standing charges that I barely have a penny left to rub together in that one. Ye gods, you'd have thought they'd have told me earlier. Sigh.

On the reading front, I've just finished Mike Smith's "Brussels, Mussels" poetry collection - it's cute and enjoyable. Ideal reading for those summer evenings to come. And excellent value if you do go to Brussels at any time of course.

Oh and there’s the ongoing mystery of where on earth has my website got to and what are UK Hosts doing with it?? Bring it back, guys! I need it, if only to remind myself what I look like now and again … Without it, I fear I will become entirely invisible and, believe me, I seem to be invisible enough as it is. Which must be the curse of the rising 43-year-old striving woman writer indeed. Heck, I could write the book on it.

Today’s nice things:

1. Getting to the magic 120k words to The Gifting
2. Pictures of camels and the sea
3. An evening in.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com/ (if you can find it, that is …)
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com/
http://www.goldenford.co.uk/

Rained-off golf and some quick PR

Frightful weather today, Carruthers. Honestly, no wonder Blair is going if he can't control the weather any more. Good riddance is what I say! Spent this morning typing up the Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) minutes (at last!) and writing a press release for us. Which I have now sent off to the usual suspects. I'm hoping Writers' News (http://www.writersnews.co.uk) might take it, but I sent it off to the Surrey Advertiser as well with a heavy heart - knowing that I am always invisible to them. Sigh!

Because of the rain, we didn't bother with golf, but Marian & Siegi came to lunch instead, which was nice. If exhausting, as I am definitely socialised-out by now. Once again they're astonished we haven't been to church - get over it, people!! Why is it that the most hassle we're getting comes from people who haven't darkened a church door since their baptismal days??? Do church people provide some kind of insurance policy for the rest of the population, who can't take the shock to the system if we should dare to break the routine?? Really, sometimes you have to paddle your own Canute, as they say ... I'd be more phlegmatic about this peculiarity if I'd even been the sort of person who berates people for not being church-goers. But I've never been that, so I don't see why I should have to be berated for being a lapsed one. Double sigh!

Socially though, I can't take the pace - I'm utterly exhausted! So much so that I have flagged until later an email from one friend suggesting meeting dates, as I simply can't think about it today or possibly for the rest of this week, and ignored a phone call from another friend, who I haven't heard from for two years anyway so, to be frank, I'm not jumping to it now. The week to come stretches ahead like an oasis though - four nights in!!!! Hurrah!!! And the fifth night out is to the theatre with Lord H, so it's not like going out proper.

All this means that I have so much recorded TV to watch that I am never going to catch up with myself. I think I might have an aerial installed inside my head so I can just pick up programmes I want to see without the need for sitting in front of a television. That would be soooo convenient. I'm surprised it hasn't already been invented really.

Tonight, I'm going to fit in some historical viewing if I can, and also finish looking at the second part of the bizarre "Dalziel and Pascoe" story. And then get to bed as soon as I'm damn well able to.

This week's haiku:

From the train window:
Through grime and shadow,
two bay horses gallop, grass
and sunlight flying.

Today's nice things:

1. Staying in
2. Putting the house back the way it should be, post-lunch
3. TV.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com

Naked men and cocktails ...

... as it were. Nice lie-in today, brought on by yesterday's social whirl. I must say how lovely it was to meet Clayton (http://www.myspace.com/dwbsoho) at last and to be able to have such an inspirational in-depth chat about writing and this strange world of books we find ourselves in. Thanks, Clayton - enjoyed it very much! Also lovely to meet Bryony and catch up on the last year over pizza and wine. Bliss.

Lord H very kindly picked me up from Woking station last night (I missed the train to Godalming by 3 minutes, darn it!...) and over the course of yesterday and today, I find out that he has been storing away Husband Points like nobody's business. While I'm out gallivanting and meeting nice people, Lord H has (a) cleaned the whole flat and done the hoovering (b) bought me the latest Joanne Harris book (c) glued down the broken tile in the bathroom (d) sorted out the recycling boxes (e) videod "My Family" and "Have I Got News for You? without being asked (f) done the rest of the shopping (g) solved the problem of Iraq and (h) instigated World Peace. It's astonishing what we can get up to here in the shires. So I am now married to a Husband with a Very Smug Smile. And I have absolutely no Wife Points to speak of. What a SuperHero indeed. Perhaps I should go to London more often ...!?

This morning, I have typed up more to The Gifting (119,500 words now, and onto the very last scene ...) and popped into Godalming for papers etc. We have then motored into Guildford to see "Dead Funny" at the Guildford Theatre this afternoon. Which included tasteful (the worst sort really!) male nudity, with bits concealed (sigh!) and a very funny rerun of a classic Morecambe and Wise sketch. However, the play itself wasn't great, and really lasted for 15 minutes too long, in our opinion.

Straight afterwards, we've been to a cocktail party in Godalming for an old American friend & poet - lovely to see you again, Gordon, and I still miss our Monday night poetry group ... But I have to say Gordon does have some very strange friends. One of the local rich folk was there, whom Lord H and I can't stand, but we managed to avoid him successfully, hurrah! But, just as I thought it was safe, I was cornered by a drunk old geezer with an attitude problem and a lurid green jacket who just wouldn't go away (the man and the jacket, believe me). I eventually ditched him by telling him I was a street ballet dancer and I needed to get to my next performance. Bizarrely this seemed to work, though I suspect I shan't be going into Godalming for a while ...

Some nice writing news - Crimeficreader (http://itsacrime.typepad.com) has reviewed "A Dangerous Man" (http://www.flamebooks.com) with an interesting political slant, and the full review can be found here:

http://itsacrime.typepad.com/its_a_crime_or_a_mystery/2007/05/a_dangerous_man.html#more

Thanks, Rhian - I'm very happy to be included on your blog. As is Michael! And one of my poems has been shortlisted in this month's Writing Magazine, so that's a boost for sure. And Jackie (http://freespace.virgin.net/jackie.luben/) has also been shortlisted for the Writers' News short story competition, so well done, Jackie! Guildford Writers (http://www.guildfordwriters.net) are back on form then! Ooh, and I've received my book prize for being Readers' Choice in the 55 word fiction competition in http://www.birdandmoon.com/55words/ site, so shall look forward to reading those. Thanks, guys! And thanks also to everyone who voted - I'm really grateful.

Tonight, it's the great Eurovision blitz, with the adorable cynicism of Terry Wogan, which I shall pop into now and again. What could be nicer?

Today's nice things:

1. Crimeficreader's review
2. The shortlistings
3. Writing.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Of humility and excellence

Was working through the personal strength questions in my "Authentic Happiness" book this morning whilst on the exercise bike (and, yes, I was peddling ...) and have found out that my humility score is excessively low (no surprises there then) but my appreciation of beauty & excellence score is rather high, thank you very much. Pause for bowing and self-congratulatory applause ... Lord H attempted to cheer me up about my appalling lack of humility by suggesting that perhaps having a low humility score is, in fact, a good thing as a high humility score would mean you could be proud about it, and then the whole point would be lost. He looked suitably smug when I told him about the beauty/excellence result and said that of course I would get a high score for that as I had been married to excellence for thirteen glorious years. Hmm. Nice to know that our humility scores may well be similar indeed.

This morning, I have played golf with Marian. Now there's a game where humility and excellence go side by side, and are sometimes experienced in the same breath. Well, in theory anyway - haven't had much of the golf excellence quota for a while now. Surely it's time for our luck to turn?

I attempted a little bit of writing, but am really fiddling around the edges of it today - am spooked by my super-active weekend and the need to keep upright and look friendly at all times. But, hey, maybe this is what Widening Participation is all about? - even sociopaths are allowed into the outside world on occasion. And I do have some fun things to look forward to: today I'm off up to London shortly to chew the writing cud over coffee with Clayton (http://www.myspace.com/dwbsoho) - and I'm sure Clayton's shop will be excellent, and I will be suitably humbled by the experience. Though I am trying to look neat (fashionable is only a distant dream, I fear ...) and comb my post-golf wild hair into some kind of control. I don't want to let you down, Clayton! It will also be nice to revisit some of Michael's (http://www.flamebooks.com) old hunting ground; I'm sure his voice is stronger today, and suspect he knows he's off to the big city soon. Characters are like that - they know more than you think, dammit ...

And, after that, I'm meeting Bryony (an old schoolfriend) for pizza and catch-up. My mother is very pleased about this, as she's always loved Bryony (ah, such a nice girl, dear - why can't you be more like her? ...). I am also pleased, as we can talk without having to chat, hurrah! If you see what I mean.

Oh, and I've had some communication with my agent (http://www.johnjarrold.co.uk/about.html) today. We've decided (I think) that the only way to squeeze me into any major publishers' schedules is to rename me so I sound like dubious minor royalty (is there any other kind?). So goodbye Brooke and hello Baron Blackthornton-Smythe. Ah, the Baron - a fine old gent, you know, and a dab hand at croquet. Strangely, I can picture him already - tall and lean, 50s, silvering hair, piercing green eyes, and a butler who is secretly in love with him. Bloody hell, somebody pass me the anti-psychosis pills - I think I feel a plot coming on ...

And welcome back to Wayne (http://www.myspace.com/wblackhurst) who has been missing from Myspace for way too long due to Orange problems. Welcome back, Wayne - we've missed you!

Today's nice things:

1. Golf
2. Meeting Clayton ...
3. ... and meeting Bryony.

Anne Brooke (AKA The Baron)
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Lunch and Goldenford

Enjoyed the opera last night, but have to say it wasn’t the best production I’ve seen, and I was very tired, so found it hard to concentrate at all. The sets were nice and the singers were good – but I wasn’t convinced by the band. Not that I’m musical at all (heck, I can’t even read the stuff) but it just sounded off-key here and there to me. I was also a bit disappointed with the spectacle side of it – Ellen Kent operas usually have something exciting happening – eg real golden eagles, white stallions, whole circuses etc. Last night we had a fire eater, some pyrotechnics and a few dainty ballet dancers. Also there was a family in the row below us and along a bit with a young girl who just wouldn’t stop whispering all the way through. Really irritating behaviour. I’m sorry to sound fogey-ish, but I would never have got away with that when I was a gal. Thank goodness we were able to move along a bit after the first interval, and then they left after the second. Hurrah.

This morning, I have finished off the minutes for the Nursery Management Group, distributed the office’s P60s and had a long chat with the Head of Security about TV appearances (he’s done some in his anti-crime capacity) and strange meetings which don’t disappear from the calendar even though I’ve cancelled them. Sigh. My email system is just pants. I am also attempting to recharge my phone ready for my action-packed social weekend (which is becoming wilder by the second!) and I really must get some money out so I can actually eat.

Hmm, my legs are beginning to ache from yesterday’s exercise class too. Hope it stops there – I don’t want to be seized up like a rod over my action-packed weekend … Though I am having trouble actually walking. Groan.

Oh and someone came into the office to be introduced to everyone and find out what we do. We in the Student Care Services Central Team aren’t very good at this – we always look like we’re rabbits caught in the headlights of an oncoming Jag, and have no idea how to answer. I think this is actually my problem – my brain always goes blank if someone asks me what I do. Which can be awkward in meetings when we’re all being introduced round the table. When it comes to me, I find I have absolutely no idea. And am lucky to remember my own name. Now this is beginning to affect Ruth also, who used to be good at this kind of stuff. At least the Dean’s Office (good old Andrea!) can still sound like a professional. Perhaps the disease I appear to be spreading hasn’t caught up with her yet – she’s only been here a year. Anyway, we’ve decided that we need to practise for next time, so are hoping to persuade David to pop out of his office now and again and ask us both what we do. Not sure this will work, but at least we might know what the words should be, even if we can’t form the sentences.

Then lunch with Julia – very civilised indeed. And nice to catch up. Also amusing to watch the poor gal struggling to put a brolly up before dashing back out into our ongoing summer rain. Have you not opened a brolly before, Julia?!? Hope your finger survives, m’dear … I got cash out from the Students’ Union specially for lunch (though Julia bought – thank you!), but when I asked for a transaction slip, the machine gave me one, but with no writing on. Useful. Perhaps I should have asked for the printed version?...

Seem to have broken the blind again at work today. Hmm. I’m a demon with that window pole, I tell you. I will have to confess to Ruth when she returns from her meeting as she’s the only one of us with enough agility and courage to shin up to the top, using only a rubber band and her native wit, and fix it. We hope.

Tonight, I’m off minuting the Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) meeting – if they ever make taking minutes an Olympic sport, I’m going for gold. Heck, I’m sure I’ve said that before, but I’m a sucker for repetition. I’m a sucker for … oh, sorry, getting a bit carried away there.

And after my desperate attempts to get back to writing, I’ve managed to do another 1,000 words or so to The Gifting, which brings me to c118,500 words. It looks like I will reach the magical 120,000 for a fantasy novel after all. Hurrah! And I have a whole new twist idea for the end. Double hurrah. Funny how ideas only ever seem to come, if they come at all, when I’m actually doing the physical act of writing. Never before it.

Today’s nice things:

1. Chatting in the office
2. Lunch with Julia
3. Goldenford.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com

Interviews and Aida

Managed to squeeze in the first pass through my HagsHarlotsHeroines (http://www.hagsharlotsheroines.co.uk) interview today, as well as having a good look through later on and sending it to Laura (http://www.myspace.com/lauracwilkinson) for comment. I hope she likes it – or most of it – I’ve tried to be as honest as possible, but am happy to change/add stuff as need be. Anyway, I enjoyed answering the questions – it’s nice to think about why I write what I write sometimes. And, heck, being a self-obsessed egomaniac (is there any other kind?), I could talk about myself forever. Sad to say … Must get on with the darn writing though – I really wish I had a chunk of time to get stuck into the ending of The Gifting, but I’m forced to do it in dribs and drabs at the moment, which is making me very twitchy. Still, once I get the ending bashed out in some form or other, I can go back and edit. A process I do actually enjoy – hurrah!

At work, we’ve had a rather nasty email from a very unhappy person going round the university accusing us of all sorts of dubious and utterly impossible activities – it’s not nice and I really didn’t like having to look at it this morning. Suffice it to say that it’s being dealt with in the most compassionate way possible. Thank goodness. I can do with fewer of those for sure.

Lunchtime found me at my first back exercise class of the season (as I haven’t been able to do the others) – I was rather dreading it, but in the event it was fine, though I took it easier this time. Last time, I ached for aeons afterwards. I’m hoping that doesn’t happen again this week, but we’ll see. This afternoon, I’ve minuted the Nursery Management Group, where we were all rather vague and charming, as our kick-ass chair has left on maternity leave. But we bumbled through somehow, though I did feel a bit guilty as I suspect I should have made sure we knew who was in charge before we began – I’d made assumptions which were proved incorrect! There’s a surprise then … not. Call myself a secretary? Bah, I say! Bah! I’ve also sorted out minutes from other meetings, fiddled around with web stuff and attempted to look like a professional. Not sure I fooled anyone though.

And at home the (German) neighbour has had problems with his email, which Lord H has now sorted. Cue cries of triumph. Bizarre though that my email now has a few spam messages - in German - on it. Spooky, eh ...

Tonight, Lord H and I are off to the opera – Aida in Woking – so am hugely looking forward to that. Opera – soaps with songs. They’re great. I can’t remember what the heck it’s about though as my brain is totally befuddled. As usual. Heck, it’s sooo good to be lifted out of oneself now and again.

Today’s nice things:

1. Interview questions
2. Back class
3. Aida.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Summer Schools and treasure hunts

Ruth was back at work today, which was great as I’d missed her last week. It was rather quiet. She brought with her tales of gorgeous weather in Mull, peculiar fishing trips and chocolate ginger biscuits. Hmm. Lovely. Good for my circulation and my hormones – what more could one want?

This morning, I have made more phone calls from work than I normally do in a year. I rang Marian (golfing partner) to give her the name of the new National Trust property that Lord H and I visited last month as she was wanting to know it; I rang Jennifer at Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk/) to confirm whether this Thursday’s meeting is on or not. Answer – it is. So I’d better do an agenda then. And I think in that case I won’t go to Guildford Writers (http://www.guildfordwriters.net/) tonight as otherwise there’ll not be an evening in till the weekend. And I can’t do that any more. Not now I’m in my Executive Years. I also rang Guildford Museum as Lord H and I are keen to go to their showing of “A Night at the Museum” plus treasure hunt in a couple of weeks’ time. Yes, we’re just 7 year olds at heart … And it gives me an excuse to get my big torch (careful!...) out and do a lot of screaming, so what could be nicer?

In the middle of all that, I’ve sorted out various Professors, their Secretaries and all my outstanding meetings, by the simple approach of putting everything which should have been in May to the end of June instead. So they can’t go on holiday, ha! Oh. Darn it – neither can I then. Ah well. It will make June top-heavy to the point of implosion with minuting, but I’m hoping the joy of my birthday will carry me through the pain of having to work.

And it looks like I can do some of the courses on at the Diocesan Summer School this year – as the boss is okay with me taking those days off. I’m particularly keen on “Finding God’s Hidden Presence” (though the cynic in me says: well, if it’s hidden, how can you find it then?), “Renewing the Bodymind” (the same tutor did a great meditation day last year – really inspirational), “Transformation: Our Work or God’s” (heck, I would say his surely – he has to have something to do in the quiet times, doesn’t he??), and “Growing Together – an Accompanied Journey” – which is about spiritual direction. Something I’ve always been very much drawn to but have never had the courage to take that step. Hmm, funny how there’s a course on it the moment I leave church. Perhaps God does have a sense of humour after all? It wouldn’t surprise me.

This lunchtime, I walked round the lake. Windy but warm enough to sit for a while. Fresh air – it’s a marvellous thing – in moderation.

And in response to the Writewords (http://www.writewords.org.uk/) Flash Fiction II challenge – theme: anything mobile – I have written this:

On the move
Algernon Culverly-Smythe had always lived his adult life on the move. He never stayed in one town more than three months. And he liked to move countries after six months. He’d discovered the value of this since being chased by his father from the family estate in the Chilterns at the age of fifteen for selling drugs to his younger brother’s friends. His father then had told him never to darken his door again, but instead of being traumatised, Algernon had actually been rather pleased. After all, he’d run out of people to corrupt and he’d needed to try new pastures. And new pastures was what he’d tried: Morocco; Africa; Canada; the Alps; Mauritius; China; and Taiwan. Oh yes, Algie had made several fortunes with his nefarious activities. And spent them too.
Funny how he’d ended up here, back in the Chilterns. Back at the old homestead. Well, he was nearing his nineties now, and a man liked to die beside his own hearth, didn’t he? And after seventy-four years, surely all his sins would have been forgotten.
He knocked at the old oak door, using the brass imp knocker which brought back so many memories. Happy and otherwise. After a long time, the door swung open. A pair of eyes glinted at him through the gloom. He recognised his brother.
‘Arthur!’ he cried out, arms open wide. ‘It’s me: Algernon. I’m back!’
His brother harrumphed. ‘Never mind that,’ he grunted. ‘Where’s them drugs you promised me?’

Oh, and Laura Wilkinson from Myspace (http://www.myspace.com/lauracwilkinson) and also from http://www.hagsharlotsheroines.com/ has sent me my interview questions for her June magazine, so I’m going to get my teeth into that fairly soon. Thanks, Laura!

Big sigh though - I've just finished Tracy Chevalier's "Burning Bright", which in my opinion should probably be retitled "Burning Dim". I couldn't really raise any interest in it, which made me feel very guilty as it was a present from Lord H. I just didn't like the plot, the characters or the style. Sorry. It strikes me that she's a writer who seems to produce one masterpiece followed by a dud followed by another masterpiece, etc etc, and this was a Dud Moment. Um, I'm looking forward to the next one then ...

Tonight, in between interview thoughts, I’m planning an evening with Lord H in front of “Midsomer Murders”. Will have to video the new crime drama, “Holby Blue”, on the other side too – as it looks surprisingly good.

Today’s nice things:

1. Thinking about interview questions
2. Planning my social/spiritual life for the summer
3. TV.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com/
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com/

Aeroplanes, firemen and shopping hell

Lord H and I decided today that we've lived in Surrey for over thirteen years now, so we really had to do the Brooklands Motor Museum one day, and it might as well be today. We do quite like vintage cars but, as Lord H says, once you've seen the basic three shapes you've probably seen them all. However, it was a good day to do it as they were having a display of emergency vehicles as well - so lots of firemen and policemen wandering round looking cute. Bliss. I was desperate to ask the former how big their hoses were and the latter if I could feel their truncheons, but Lord H thought that the resulting court case would probably be too humiliating and we would be forced to leave the country, so I decided against it. Sigh. But, my goodness, the uniformed services are getting younger ...

We also had a look round the aeroplanes - from WWII planes to modern planes, plus a display on the bouncing bomb of Dambusters fame. So that was interesting. Also interesting was seeing inside the Sultan of Oman's VC10. Goodness me, but the rich people have really nice on-board bathrooms. And sofas, huge seats, bedrooms and carpets. Bliss. Even the servants' area was high-class. Brooklands also have Concorde, but we didn't buy a ticket to go inside as, daaahlings, we've already done that tour in New York, and Brooklands just doesn't have the same style. Don't y'know.

By then, we'd probably drained the motor museum excitements pretty dry, for us - though I do understand that if you're a real fan you'll probably want to spend all day there. Two hours is more than enough for this tourist. So we popped into the nearly Marks & Spencer afterwards, as I felt the need to reclaim my womanhood by shopping. And it worked! I bought three t-shirts in their 3-for-the-price-of-2 deal (or was it a 6-for-the-price-of-20? I really can't remember and I'm no good with figures ...), and then went on to buy a rather snazzy pair of black trousers and a cream & gold posh t-shirt - which looked surprisingly good on. Hey, I almost looked elegant. Ye gods, it can't last.

We should have gone home at that point, but we decided to stock up on domestic shopping in Tesco. Groan. Bad mistake. Never shop in a large Tesco on a Bank Holiday is my advice. It was hell, and Lord H lost the will to live halfway through (I could tell - I am a Wife and I therefore have telepathic rights to his brain ...) so I had to rationalise the list, pay and leave before he imploded. Never mind, I can catch up on the things we didn't get during the week, with a bit of luck.

The rest of the day has been spent typing up more to The Gifting - and I'm now at over 117,000 words. Hurrah! And tonight we'll probably watch yesterday's video of "Kingdom" and then "New Tricks". Lovely.

Oh, and I have to say I had a really lovely reply to my honest updating email from Jonathan - one of the university gang, currently in Taiwan. It's the first real reply I've had back and I found it very touching - so thanks, Jonathan, for that. I very much appreciated it. And good to know your updates too. Heck, maybe there is some kind of hope for us all - you never know. But why do we never talk properly when we all actually meet up? Maybe we're just too scared. Lordy Lordy, but people are a constant mystery indeed. No matter how long you've known them.

My blog title also reminds me - this month's fireman is Karl, who is from West Yorkshire and loves fitness and travel. And he's holding a very large hammer. Quite cute too. I do like the dark-haired ones ...

Today's nice things:

1. Firemen
2. M&S shopping
3. Jonathan's email.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

A nearly lazy Sunday

Half thought about going to the Quakers again today, but didn't get round to it. Which in itself made me feel good - as hey I can go with the flow too. On occasion. Which, in my carefully planned, ultra-controlled life, is a bloody miracle in itself really. Hurrah!

Instead I cleaned the car, did more to The Gifting (I am a scene-and-a-half-ish from the end!) and wrote out my birthday list. Which has pleased Lord H no end, as strangely he does like to buy stuff for me. Normally I am an extremely cheap wife, as I rarely buy anything apart from books, so it gives him the chance to let his wallet do the talking. Double hurrah! Mind you, seeing as my list consists of ... um ... books, oh and the almost compulsory Lindor chocolates (bliss - you must try them; the milk chocolate ones are best), the wallet doesn't get much of a chance. I am also trying to persuade him to buy paperbacks only, as I really don't like hardbacks as they're such an irritant to handle - but it goes against the grain for Lord H who sees hardbacks as classier somehow. As long as the stuff inside is good, I don't mind about much else.

And I have discovered the joy of not going to church in the morning - it means I have time for an hour's nap before lunchtime. Even with writing lists, writing novels and car-cleaning! Amazing really. And I've caught up with my video viewing and TV watching - "Ugly Betty" just keeps getting better. I love all the characters now and am unable to miss my weekly fix of the goings on. My, what fun they all have in fashion.

Oh, and the lovely Becky on Myspace (http://www.myspace.com/edie1964) has just finished A Dangerous Man and has given Michael a very enthusiastic review on her blog of today's date - which I also include here:

“I just finished A Dangerous Man by Anne Brooke and now I am more than ready to pick her brain about how she came to create this truly engrossing character study/crime novel. The narrator is Michael, a young, apparently very attractive, artist and sometimes hustler. His oeuvre is drawing in only pencil and charcoal – he has an aversion to paints and colors for reasons that are revealed later on. We come to learn that drawing is literally a necessity for him as his deepest, truest feelings can only be released on paper with the pencil and charcoal. In the course of trying to further his artistic career, Michael falls in love with Jack, an older but equally attractive businessman/art patron and it changes both of their lives forever. I don't want to get into much more detail here except to say that the story is very intense and descriptive, at times euphoric, violent, brutal, and always fascinating, and basically a damn good read. Anne has done such an amazing job with creating a fully three-dimensional character in the person of Michael Jones. Love him or hate him, you can't help but become interested in him, his life and how he came to be the way he is. His voice is so strong and clear like every good narrator's should be. The other main characters are equally well-developed (especially Jack) but it is Michael who really jumps off the page and captures the reader's imagination.”

I'm so pleased you liked it, Becky! Thanks so much for the mention. Michael sends thanks too, of course!

Tonight, Lord H and I are thinking of popping into Evensong (or Evensnog, as we like to call it) at the Cathedral later on, as you can come and go without being noticed and you don't have to join anything. That's the point of cathedrals really - you can view the whole show without the need to buy a ticket. I remember dropping in on Rochester Cathedral in my Kent days when I was between churches then (hmm, do I never learn?) and really enjoying the experience. Especially the day we sat in the front of the choir stalls as there were so few of us, and when the choir stood up to sing the opening anthem behind us it was like being blasted by sound. Fantastic. Say what you like about equality but I do think that an all male choir has the edge on mixed. Sorry, but that's the way it is. Girls? Girls? Ooh now, they didn't have them in them thar days, m'dear ...

Later, there's "Dalziel and Pascoe" on TV, which clashes with "Kingdom". I know which my money is on - I'll take a detective over Norfolk any day - but have yet to discuss with Lord H. Oh, and I must ring Mother and sound normal. Again.

This week's haiku (in honour of Lord H):

Amberley Working Museum
Old machines and memories:
you spot your mother's mangle
and you're five again.

Today's nice things:

1. Writing
2. Becky's review
3. Maybe Evensnog? Maybe TV? Can't tell yet ...

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Working museums, rabbit women and husband hints

As threatened, I popped into Guildford today with Lord H to face the irritating Nationwide people - but even though I had to queue for twenty minutes to see a real person, I have to say that the real person I saw was utterly charming, efficient and sorted me out (or mostly) in no time. If only I'd done that rather than attempt to call yesterday, I could have saved myself all that angst. I shall remember for next time: never use the phone; just go see a person. Always the best way.

And talking of angst, this will make you laugh: Lord H and I did go to the theatre yesterday in the end as we thought we needed a night out. The play was fine, and Stephanie Beacham was utterly wonderful. As ever. But, oh misery, the rows in front of us seemed to be filled with people from St Peter's who saw us in the interval and leapt upon us with apparent cries of joy. Damn it. We were having a nice night out up to that point. Still, I can do politeness and charm when faced with the enemy (though Lord H fell silent, as is his wont), and I chit-chatted for Britain. We then managed to escape to the lower bar, but they caught us up and started attempting to have an in-depth conversation about our desertion of the church in the middle of the theatre. Not the best place, I feel, and I was quite angry (though thought it best not to show it too much) - all the more so as I knew it was making Lord H feel twitchy. However, I managed to keep it light, though when the lay reader started saying once more how difficult the new guy, Paul, is, I spoke up at last and said that actually he'd been extremely lovely, real and humane to me the one time I'd spoken to him whereas our last guy (whom the lay reader always praises - in my opinion needlessly - to the skies) was a complete loser when it came to relating to the pew-fodder, had blanked me when I'd asked for help (twice) and I'd felt so strongly about it that I hadn't bothered signing his leaving card and had been very glad when he'd finally gone. That took the wind out of her sails somewhat. And when the lay reader's husband said he hoped that we wouldn't lose touch just because we weren't coming to church any more, I replied by saying that church friends were exactly that - church friends - and in my experience rarely lasted (except on a very few honourable cases) outside the bounds of the churchyard. Which may well mean that any attempted career move of mine into the Diplomatic Service will probably not last long, but at least no-one can say they don't know where I stand.

Funny how we didn't see them after the play ended though - they were probably running to the hills by then ...

Anyway, back to today. Post the Nationwide, we stared in great joy at the Guildford Morris Men (and Women) and Jack o' Lanterns for a while - how I loved those wonderful flower hats the Morris Men were wearing to welcome in the month of May and how much Lord H and I secretly long to do the dances and wave around sticks and handerchiefs, but I fear we would never live down the shame if we ever gave into it. Though Lord H would look nice in those hats - no! Stop it, stop it now!

We have then spent a wonderful day at the Amberley Working Museum (http://www.amberleymuseum.co.uk) which was great. Lots of fascinating old shops/businesses to look at - and it even made the concrete exhibition really interesting too, which was quite a feat. We took a ride on the old train - twice - and admired all the old kitchen utensils which our mothers used to have. Lord H got quite emotional over the top loader washing machine and attached mangle, which apparently was the same version that he fell off when he was five, thus giving him a (to me) almost invisible scar on his head, though he swears it's there and it's just my eyes which are wrong. We also wandered round the old buses they have there, and he was delighted to find a poster for the Royal Blue Coach Company, which his father used to work for. Hmm, is Lord H actually 150 years old and is just kept youthful by a life of accountancy and marital ease? The family will have to be consulted, I feel ...

We were also much amused by the electricity exhibition (hands-on stuff with plugs and creating static electricity - we loved it!!) which had an old advert for electricity which said "Don't kill your wife with work - make electricity do it instead." Ah, more innocent times indeed ... And naturally, there was a display about the Great Godalming Electricity Disaster, which comes up at all these kind of things. Our home town (if you don't know this already) was the first town in the UK to install electric street lights in 1881, instead of the old gas ones, and therefore the first town to have any kind of public electricity installation at all. This would have been wonderful and would have guaranteed Godalming a place in the history books forever, but unfortunately the town council decided in 1884 that electricity would never catch on, so turned it off and reinstalled all the old gas lights again. Sigh. Oh the shame of it all ...

It's nearly as bad as the Godalming Rabbit Woman - another true story, I'm afraid: she was around in the late 1700s/early 1800s, I think from memory, and was famed across the country for giving birth to rabbits. People came from all over the place to see her with her "rabbit children" - even royalty made the trip at one point. Gullible fools! And I think she was also invited to the Palace. However, after a few years someone found her stealing young rabbits from neighbouring farmers and so the scam was uncovered. Surprise! And more sighing - no wonder the countryside has a peculiar reputation.

Anyway, enough strangeness. Tonight, it's "Doctor Who" on TV, and I think there's a film on later, so I shall slump in front of that and be couch fodder. Hurrah.

Oh, and I've also just finished Kathy Lette's "How to Kill your Husband (and other handy household hints)" - have to say I was rather disappointed with it, especially as I've heard her speak and she's an incredibly charming, bright and sassy woman. I loved her. But the book - to my mind - isn't really a novel at all; it's more of the notes for a novel, or perhaps more accurately the notes to a screenplay. It would certainly make a good film. And it has a nice, sharp "feelgood" ending - though frankly the plot falls apart here. Because surely they'd know it wasn't human blood. We do have forensics these days ... (You'll know what I mean if you've read it!). Also Hannah was very poorly drawn, though Cassie was great. But the speed of the thing was very, very distancing, and I never felt close to any of the characters. You'd need actors to bring out the heart of it. Which takes me back to my film thoughts ...

Today's nice things:

1. The nice Nationwide woman
2. Amberley Working Museum
3. TV.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Pink Champagne and Apple Juice

Well, it's here! The frothiest and sassiest website of the year, and certainly the one with the hottest actor links, is now here and open for business: http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com

Come on in and have a look round! All are welcome, and the site is very good indeed (huge thanks to Sue & Frank at http://www.teafriendsandchocolate.com/sue/) – it has a cocktail area, a film area (with links to those rather good-looking actors, as mentioned above!), a review area – where you can also put your own reviews of the book up if you'd like – a characters section and a blog/chat forum etc etc. You can also read about how the site was set up and the reasons behind it. If you're interested, there are downloads (eg signature links) which you can use if you’d like to and which could bring you some essential extra pennies – much like the Amazon affiliate/associate scheme some of you subscribe to.

You can also – if you’ve not read the book – download the first two chapters for free, as a taster. And the eBook is on sale if that makes you want to read on – as well as the paperback via Amazon of course. Whatever you decide, enjoy! And remember that Uncle John's (Jolene to his friends) Den welcomes all comers. Especially those in stockings. Either gender, naturally!

A pink letter day (plus champagne!) indeed. And in true Uncle John style, I have spent this morning in the skilled hands of Emma (careful, it's not what you think!...) having my Clarins facial. Ah, what bliss. And I have stocked up on my Moisture Quenching Hydracream, so will be the Ultimate Woman for a while yet. We hope. Though I have to say that I rather blotted my copybook when I nipped into Boots for a soapdish (Lord H has broken his, goodness knows how) and was jumped on by several scary women wanting to sell me their Number 7 miracle cream (or some such name) in order to give me firm, uplifted, young skin. When I told the first one (in less than dulcet tones, I have to admit) that actually I preferred my droopy, age-ridden, past-its-best skin as it was, she was distinctly Not Amused. So I left quickly before I could be caught by the Beauty Police. Managed to get the soapdish though.

This afternoon, I have typed up more to The Gifting so am now at 116,000 words. I'm pleased I'm on the homeward stretch with it, I have to say. Writing these fantasy novels is a mammoth task. I'm usually just such an 80,000-words-and-it's-over kind of girl. Usually. Yeah, I know: part-timer.

I have also spent some time (over half an hour on the phone ...) battling it out with the ruddy Nationwide in an attempt to sort out my standing orders. To no avail. The upshot is that no-one in the f*****g Guildford branch will answer the phone, the Sheffield call centre has no email or fax facility (yeah, yeah, pull the other one, losers) and the mysterious people that actually do the banking centrally are too busy to answer me and they also have no fax or email, even from numbers internal to the Nationwide. Neither do they keep a record of any letters sent to them, so are unable to tell whether they are even dealing with my letter of 3 weeks ago, asking for several significant changes, or not. I eventually swore wildly at them (fill in your own blanks, please ...), put the phone down and burst into tears. I then rang Lord H at work and burst into tears again. I am just so b****y f*****g angry with them - after all, it's my effing money and they should effing tell me what they're doing with it. If only I'd had my bank statement this morning when I was actually in ruddy Guildford, I could have gone in and faced a real person. But now, I'll have to go in again tomorrow to thrash it out with them, as I'm damned if I'm going to go back today - I'm not paying for the ruddy car park again. Nationwide: bunch of tossers. Incompetent tossers too. Sod the TV advertising, and join Lloyd's instead is what I say - think I might just do that too after this fiasco.

Anyway, tonight, Lord H and I are due to go out to the theatre - to see "Hay Fever" in Woking, but I'll see how I feel about it. Not sure I'm up to an evening out at the moment.

Still, nice to have the Pink Champagne bottle open - cheers, m'dears!

Today's nice things:

1. The Pink Champagne website launch
2. Getting more done to The Gifting
3. Shouting at the incompetent tossers that call themselves the Nationwide - ha!

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

DVDs and Detectives

Still slogging away on the Health Centre website today – it’s getting rather more complicated, but I think I’ve managed to work out a new template for it – with the help of our long-suffering IT department. And it works too. Just need a shortcut name now and I can do exciting secretarial things with the leaflet links. Hurrah. Are you keeping up at the back?

The morning was galvanised into further excitement by our first meeting with the Guildford School of Acting who are going to be doing a new Student Care Services DVD for Freshers’ Week in September for us. Goodness me, having an arty, creative type sweep in was like a breath of fresh air in an abandoned room. It was great! We were all bright-eyed and sparky by the end of it all. Which, for me, was helped by the fact that the GSA representative was a nice example of hot male totty. Bliss. More meetings please! Down, girl, down! Hmm, maybe it’s my age?... My obviously pre-menopausal hormones aside, I think they’ll do a good job and it should be zappier than last year’s DVD too. And we can upload it to the website, so that will make us look modern for sure. Double hurrah!

Had a walk round campus at lunchtime and sat in the shade by the lake for a while. Did a bit of thinking, but not much. I don’t want to tire myself out, after all. Not at my age, m’dears. Actually, Andrea and I were talking in the office about our plans for life and what we might want to do when we retire with our respective spouses (so perhaps it’s the month for introspection after all, as everyone’s pausing to think, by the looks of it). Heck, maybe there should be a National Introspection Week and we can all get it over with in one go as we plan our years? – the government should make it mandatory and I will then at last have been responsible for starting a trend. Anyway, we both agreed that joint marital plans are a Good Idea. So it’s official.

And I've made a great and exciting discovery today - the loos in Roots Cafe (which we always have to use as we don't have any of our own) have nice green and red badges linked to the door handles so you can tell whether they're in use or not. How exciting! In three years of working at the university, I'd never noticed that before, so I went round testing them all and giggling. Did check that the loos were empty first though ...

Oh, and Andrea is also this month’s office Superheroine, as she has single-handedly recalculated my bank holiday formulae and worked out that I am giving the University too many days this year after all, as HR’s initial calculations are incorrect. There’s a surprise. Triple hurrahs for Andrea! And it means I can have one more bank holiday without having to fight for it. How we sigh for the days when life was so much less complicated, eh …

Tonight, I have to go and vote in the local elections – so I hope I can remember my own address this time. The time before last, I forgot entirely where I lived (well, it was a bad day, I was tired, etc etc …), pretended to be cleaning my glasses while I thought about the question, and was only saved by recognising my neighbour who was womanning the entrance and was able to wave me in the right direction. Phew. One false move round these parts and the men in white coats will be upon me, I fear …

Later, it’s the glorious “Dangerous Davies” in “The Last Detective” on TV– Lord H and I love this so will be glued. Some nice wit and dogged police work and a little bit of drama – what more could one want of an evening? So like the home life of our own dear Queen. Might also try to ring the friend I’m seeing next Friday again, as I haven’t heard from her yet as to when we’re meeting up (Bryony? Where are you? Hope you’re okay …) so I can rearrange the rest of my day accordingly. I think I’m going to try for an NVQ in Diary Administration, if there is one. I’m sure I’d be a wow.

At home, I've got another rejection from Snow Books (yawn) - in fact maybe Snow Books Yawn should be their new name, as the amount of rejections I get from them is really dull, dahlings. In fact it's so dull their minion couldn't even be arsed to confirm which novel it was - Maloney's Law (which they rejected in January anyway)? Thorn in the Flesh? Who knows! I don't think I'll bother with them again - obviously too much up their own arses to know good literature when it hits them in the face. (And I have to say that when I read one of their novels, it was actually as dull as ditchwater, tee hee, and made me feel very happy that I could write better than that, so I'm probably saved from a fate worse than death, hurrah!).

Oh, and only one more day to the launch of http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com on Friday (tomorrow!) at 3pm – hope you’ll join me there in a virtual glass!

Today’s nice things:

1. Website tinkering
2. Hot totty from the GSA
3. Andrea salvaging one of my bank holidays – hurrah!

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Pink Champagne, counselling and catching up

Have been doing some marketing for the up-and-coming Pink Champagne and Apple Juice (http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com or http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com/friends) website today - only one reaction so far but my responder liked the look of it - thank you, Robin! The launch date will be this Friday 4 May at 3pm UK time, so do pop in, have a look round (either now or on the day) and leave a comment in the blog if you'd like to. All visitors very welcome indeed!

Had a good counselling session with Kunu today. We talked about friends and about being in a creative limbo now that I've left the church and am not planning to replace it with anything regular. At least for a while. She seemed pleased that I've been doing things and thinking about making plans in a slightly different direction - eg tidying the flat and organising things that have, frankly, been left in abeyance for years, or thinking about what joint aims Lord H and I might like to have for the future. She thought this was actually quite positive, so made me feel more positive about it also. I mean, hell, if it is a mid-life crisis, then at least I'm dealing with it and not ignoring it. Hurrah! I get Counselling Points - as it were ... She'd also finished A Dangerous Man and found it gripping and moving - which was nice to hear. We've agreed to talk about it next time (which won't, unfortunately, be for another two weeks, due to university meetings/holidays etc) and how it relates to me, and also to look more into my childhood & family history. She's mentioned that before, but I slid past it at the time - but now it feels like something I'm more ready to look at. My goodness, what fun times ahead for sure. Not that there's anything that drastic in my childhood (best say this before Jane H's mother starts worrying again!), but a lot of emotional stuff did go on, which wasn't great. Hmm, funny how every single one of my novels - including the one I'm writing now - does have some quite edgy family problems at the heart of it all. Putting it mildly ...

Once home, I screwed my courage to the sticking place (probably a misquote, but what the hell, eh) and actually emailed my university friends, catching them up with (is that even a phrase?)what's been going on in the World of Anne over the last year. In a brief, very sweet (yes, I can do sweet, you know) and hopefully not too heavy, way. So, now if they do think I'm being peculiar, then at least they know something of why. I felt I owed it to them. Probably. I also suggested that perhaps we could do something over the summer if that works out, so we'll see. So there's my supply of emotional courage drained for the month. Possibly the year. Hey ho.

Popped into see Gladys this afternoon - rather frail today, I'm sad to say, so we didn't have much conversation. Though I was brave with a wasp. A large one too. Halfway through my visit, she did ask me how church was going, so I took a deep breath and told her. Again briefly and in a light way. She was really sweet about it. No, incredibly sweet. And then was gracious enough to let me move on to other topics. So at least she knows now. It'll be good not to have to remember all the lies I'm supposed to have been telling, I have to say.

At home, I've just finished Sharon Maria Bidwell's (http://www.myspace.com/aonia) eNovel, Snow Angel - hot, racy and fun! I enjoyed it - the two main characters were great, but maybe there was a tad too much sex for me (now there's an admission!), but of course it's the nature of the erotic genre, so I shouldn't complain. And I would have loved to know more about Dean's family too. Though I hated April, Jay's sister - but I was supposed to hate her. I could tell. My, how I love to have a character I can hate in a novel - it gives it teeth.

I've also finished a poetry anthology, "Look Closer (Poems about Works of Art)" - a rather mixed collection, but I enjoyed it, particularly stunning work by Marjorie Baker, Barbara Balch and Edward Storey. I've added their names to my ongoing poetry list, where possible, so they must have been good!

Tonight, I'm planning to do some more to The Gifting and move Simon along a little towards his natural ending. I've rather abandoned him over the last couple of days, and I suspect he needs some attention. Poor dear. Hey, but don't we all!

Today's nice things:

1. Counselling
2. Dealing with the new Champers website
3. Reading.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Pessimism and the search for happiness

Gosh, great title, eh? That'll have 'em lining the bookshops ... Anyway, after last night’s book club joy, I came down to earth very rapidly at getting yet another rejection for Maloney’s Law. Deep sigh. Admittedly, it was from a publisher I assumed had already rejected it, but there you go. So, it’s now only out with one US publisher – if they say no, I’m throwing in the towel on the commercial front, I think, as it’s coming up to two years in the market for that one now. Shame really, as it’s been shortlisted for the most awards of all my novels. But I am heartened by the hope that perhaps it might find its way into Goldenford’s (http://www.goldenford.co.uk/) lists at some stage over the next year or so, depending on what my fellow directors say. Mind you, our future publication list is getting longer (which is great!) so I don’t know when that might be.

I had a long chat with Lord H last night when he came back from theology class about why it is that we both admit to being a lot happier and more optimistic about life ‘n’ stuff in our late twenties and throughout our thirties, but now we’re in our forties, all that seems to be slipping away. Is it age? A growing cynicism? Or something more sinister? It’s a mystery really. But I do tend to stare out of my office window whilst at the university and watch all those young 20s walking by and I envy them utterly. Not that I’d want to be that age again – I wouldn’t; it was horrendous. But I envy the sense of optimism I had then and which they must have now about life being hopeful and being able to do anything you might want. One day. That’s the feeling I have less and less these days. And my moments of pure happiness are fewer too. I remember feeling happy whilst at the Japanese Garden in Kew, or at the National Trust house we went to recently, or looking at the blossom on the trees, but it doesn’t stay long and doesn’t come often. And I’m sure I used to have those happy, hopeful moments far more often when younger – even when I was going through hell. Weird really. I don’t know the answer to it.

All this has been sparked off by my reading of Authentic Happiness, my current self-help book. It’s really making me think – I’ve done the Optimism/Pessimism tests and was shocked to find that (far from being optimistic, which I’d hoped to be at heart – somewhere …?), I’m actually a Moderate Pessimist. I’m sure I wouldn’t have been that in my 20s … I was so worried that I actually mentioned this to the boss today, thinking he might express surprise, but he didn’t, darn it. Though he did try to reassure me by saying he didn’t think I was an Extreme Pessimist. Ah well.

Either way, Lord H and I have decided that, although we like being together and couldn’t imagine the alternative, we don’t actually like life that much. Not as a concept anyway. And actually God isn’t proving a barrel of laughs at the moment either. So we’ve decided we should try being outdoors more as, at the very least, if we’re still unhappy, then we’ll be outside being unhappy, rather than inside being miserable. If you see what I mean. We might even draw up a list of what we like doing and try doing more of those sorts of things to cheer ourselves up. (Steady there, at the back ...!)

Hey ho. Life in sunny Godalming is a laugh a minute, I can tell you!

Anyway, I’ve busied myself with catching up at work, and looking at the Health Centre website again, with a view to changing it. At last! And we’ve finally got notification through that the Lead Doctor has resigned. Heck, he was on sabbatical last year and never came back, but nobody would talk about it. I sooo hate that when that happens – honestly, the educational world is getting more like the commercial one every day – much to its detriment in some ways. It's inhumane, as far as I can see. But I for one would have liked to say a proper goodbye to the Good Doctor and am sad – and disappointed – that the powers that be have chosen to do this. Sticks in the gullet rather. Anyway, I’ve sent our former colleague a goodbye and good luck email – hope he gets it somehow.

Had my next reflexology session at lunchtime. Bliss – as ever. I felt really calm afterwards. Where would I be without it? Goodness knows. Next time – which, due to diaries, turns out to be in early June, dammit! – I’m going to try some Reiki, as I am hoping to achieve a new sense of balance and harmony. Pause for cynical comment – but I won’t make one this time, as I’m too pessimistic already, ha!

However, my day has been cheered by a rare sighting of two very hot men on campus - one who opened a door for me this morning (delicious sigh ...) and another, with glorious red hair, this afternoon. More delicious sighing and joy! It's so rare that totty is sighted at work and it's a pleasure to see it now and again. They're obviously raising the standards of meeting attenders in educational circles. Hurrah! Hell, maybe it is the menopause after all ...

Oh, and Laura Wilkinson from Myspace (http://www.myspace.com/lauracwilkinson) – who works with the HagsHarlotsHeroines site (http://www.hagsharlotsheroines.com/) is thoroughly enjoying A Dangerous Man (http://www.flamebooks.com/) and would like to do an interview with me for the HHH site. Thank you hugely, Laura – looking forward to that for sure!

Tonight, I’m off to the pub seeing Jane H and Tanya, which I’m looking forward to. A girls’ night out, but locally and with only two people. Bliss!

Today’s nice things:

1. Reflexology
2. Laura W’s enthusiasm for ADM
3. Seeing the gals.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com/

Steering Group and Book Circle

Was it just me or was last night's offering of "Kingdom" on TV slightly better than the week before? More jokes and sharpness, thank God. If they could only shake off the trappings of ruddy "Heartbeat", they'd be laughing. Oh and get rid of the irritating sister - a waste of space in my opinion. There, rant over. Phew

Have taken my calming pills to work today due to this evening’s University book circle discussion of A Dangerous Man (http://www.flamebooks.com). Am being good so far though and have only taken two. Am definitely saving two for later though – plus the Rescue Remedy spray. Oh, I’ve already taken one of those, darnit. And it’s only 11.45am. Ah well. Our family isn’t known for personal courage, you know. We always hide or indulge in dubious black market activities during war time. It’s in the genes. Anyway, thank you to all who’ve sent messages of support and good thoughts through the airwaves (and some funny ones too – thanks, Clayton – http://www.myspace.com/dwbsoho) – all very much appreciated. And, talking of which, I see the University Arts Office website has misspelt my name, so goodness knows how anyone’s going to be able to buy the book afterwards, should they wish to. Still, I’m used to that by now – sometimes my own mother misspells my name, so I’m lucky to have an identity at all really.

This morning, I have tidied up my emails, even dealing with some of them, and also updated parts of the website. So I’m not a complete quivering wreck, aha! It’s the Steering Group meeting at lunchtime, so I shall have to look knowledgeable about all sorts of stuff about which I know nothing. No change there then. But at least it will be something to do – and also nice to get back into some kind of work routine. Hurrah!

Spent the afternoon attempting to write the minutes up and hyperventilating. Maybe I’ll take one of my fluffy pens (possibly more!) with me tonight. I fear I may get stuck with Author’s Block – which is when you can remember absolutely nothing at all about a book you’re supposed to have written. Or is that just me? Or heck, I might even enjoy it – we’ll see. So maybe I should just stop moaning. For once. Ha! But then what would I blog about, eh??

Oh, and last night I hit 115,000 (exactly! Which appeals to my OCD tendencies sooo much!) words of The Gifting, with more plot to come. So there’s life in the old dog yet. Was even thinking about possible sequels – but whoah there! Let’s not run before I can walk. Have to edit the darn thing and then sell it yet. So at least four years’ work there, m’dears!

Sigh - we've got an email from the new vicar - addressed only to Lord H (hello? I've been leaving church for 18 months piece by piece, and not a single damn one of you has noticed??...) saying how sorry they are to lose him and if there's anything they can do to bring him back to St Peter's. Bloody hell, how about addressing a missive to Mrs Lord H? That might have bloody done it. Too late now though - and it's a shame, as the new vicar was human to me the only time I met him. Hmm, that trait must have been removed by now ... Ah well.

Anyway, I shall endeavour not to be bitter & twisted (though if you hear a scraping sound, it's probably the gnashing of my teeth ...), as there is good news below and I don't want to spoil it ...

Stop Press! Have just come back from the book circle. It was bloody brilliant!!! I utterly, utterly loved it and I utterly, utterly had a fantastic time!! So you all have full permission to beat me to a pulp with your keyboards until I beg for mercy for being a complete wimp. (I promise not to enjoy it). The group were lovely, they'd read the book, they'd got really into it, they couldn't stop talking and they asked loads of really interesting questions. Hurrah!! I even managed to sell one more copy, plus a copy of A Stranger's Table (http://www.poetrymonthly.com), so I am just soooo happy!

Today’s nice things:

1. Kind comments from nice blog readers – thank you!
2. Hitting the 115k word marker – precisely!
3. The book circle – hurrah!

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

More spring cleaning, event nerves and a good book

No church today. In any form. But, on the grounds that cleanliness is next to godliness, I have done my bit for the Great Hereafter and vacuumed the car. Yes, astonishing, isn't it? In the middle of yesterday's clear-out, Lord H found the car vacuum, recharged it (my, how thoughtful ...) and so today I have used it. But, ye gods, it doesn't last long, does it? Or maybe it's the amount of mess in my car that did for it. Hard to say, really. Anyway, we are recharging it again, in case I get the urge in another ten years' time. Ho ho. Even more astonishingly, I have actually dusted and polished the inside of the car as well. Which just proves, twice, that the age of miracles is not dead. Yet.

Apart from that, I've done some writing, and now have Simon through the first of his four final tests. And I think I'll put a sex scene in the next one (or rather an almost sex scene) as, hell, it's about time I wrote one. And I deserve it. If nothing else, it'll take my mind off my growing horror at tomorrow's book circle event for A Dangerous Man (http://www.flamebooks.com), which I am now dreading on the grounds that (a) nobody will turn up, and (b) if they do, they won't have read the book so the discussion options will be zilch, and (c) somehow they will be able to tell that I've only sold about 50 copies so am not worthy of their time. Hell, I might even get that tattooed on my forehead before I go in - it'll save all those accusations ... God, how I hate this part of it - yes, I know it's great that I've been invited and I am pleased - it's just that my nerves will be shot to pieces by the time I get there, resulting in me gabbling like an idiot, going as red as a stressed tomato and looking like a klutz. Hmm, so no changes there then. Nobody will notice the difference. I will have to remember to take my calming pills, my Rescue Remedy spray and ask where the nearest loo is. Last time I had to do a public book event, I had to go to the loo five times. In the last ten minutes before it started. Ah well ... I think I might leave my kidneys to Science when I'm dead. I'm sure they'll find them fascinating.

Sorry, sorry, I'm blabbering, I know. There's just not enough TV on tonight to keep my mind off it. Sorry ... Even "Ugly Betty" has ended on a sad note, though was as classy as ever.

Anyway, the good and sad news is that I've just finished Stef Penney's The Tenderness of Wolves. It's bloody marvellous. I'll say it again, in case somebody missed that at the back: it's bloody effing marvellous. Read it. You won't regret it. Wonderful, wonderful stuff. My only problem was (a) reaching the end and feeling devastated that I'd done so, and (b) even though the end was great and perfectly judged, I felt there was something I'd missed in Mrs Ross's name. I didn't get what it was. I desperately wanted it to be Amy (for reasons that will be apparent if you've read it), but I am not sure. And I desperately want to know. So if there's anyone out there who can put me out of my misery, please email me via my website (see below) so as to not spoil the surprise for anyone else. Thank you.

Still have to ring Mother tonight - suspect it's safer to go light on our current church difficulties and be nice, happy daughter. I think that will be the easier option all round really. And of course there's Stephen Fry's "Kingdom" - but I thought last week's episode was really too bland (though Lord H enjoyed it), so I'm hoping for more wit and sharpness this week. We'll see.

This week's haiku (well, it's not a haiku - more of a short poem, but it is what it is, I think):

Journey:
My walk a little less steady now.
Birds fly through broken clouds
and all the land is water.

Today's nice things:

1. Vacuuming the car
2. Writing
3. Stef Penney's book.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Baby animals, church encounters and a brief spring clean

Lord H feeling a bit low today, as am I a little, so the two of us are depressed together. Marital harmony. It's a wonderful thing. So we've been quiet, but not completely silent, which is nice. A slow start to our morning too.

We decided not to go shopping for a new casual jacket for Lord H, as he wasn't really feeling up to it, and visited Burpham Court Farm to look at the baby animals instead. There weren't many people around, which was a complete surprise, but very pleasant. Though I did get rather irritated by the Neanderthal Woman on the till who took ten minutes (at least!) to sell us a ticket. But I couldn't be arsed to (a) get cross or (b) be witty, so I just stared at her blankly until she finally gave in and sold us an admission sticker. Ye gods though, no wonder there weren't many people around. There've probably been loads, but none of them could be bothered to wait for N.W. to get her act together.

Anyway, it was nice wandering round and seeing the baby llama, the lambs (different varieties and ages), calves, ducklings, chicks and goslings. I took loads of photos, which have come out surprisingly well, for me. That is, there is actually something vaguely recognisable as an animal (or bird) in most of them, rather than just a lot of grass and the odd hoof, which is my normal level of expertise.

Came home via the Great God Waitrose, where we have stocked up on Chinese for this evening, sushi for lunch (I love sushi - could eat it every day), beer, cider and the paper. Everything you could need for a weekend indeed. The paper was full of stuff about eBay, so I have told Irene (http://homepage.ntlworld.com/blacks.house/), as it might come in handy for Goldenford's (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) forthcoming book, if only as a useful contact point. Heck they might even review it - you never know.

Lord H dropped me off at home and then went to St Peter's to return a box of the stuff from the vestry which we've had for a while. He thought this would be a good time to do it when nobody was around, as we are after all, and if truth be told, in the final stages of leaving the church and we don't really want the contact. Unfortunately - or perhaps fortunately depending on your viewpoint - the lay reader was there and asked Lord H if he was still okay to do next week's serving duties. He took the opportunity to say he wasn't and that he wanted to come off the rota, as well as giving back the vestry items. Apparently, the lay reader took this badly and got rather upset, so poor Lord H thought it best to just go. Which I think was probably the wisest move - though I do wish with all my heart that I'd gone with him, as I'm better able to cope with female tears, being a hard-nosed bitch when push comes to shove. It also would, I think, have been fairer to me to take some of the confrontation too, as I'm the one who began the process of leaving first. But it was obviously not meant to be that way. Though I think Lord H is glad that he had the chance to say his piece face to face rather than by email - for him it's a more honest way. Being me, however, I do admit to a rather bitter-tasting anger that somebody cried when hearing the news that my husband is leaving St Peter's, when no-one seemed to give a badger's arse (sorry, Bryony - your phrase I know, but it's a great one) when I left. They were probably laughing. Buggers!

At home, we finished off the rest of the cleaning, and then indulged in a spot of spring cleaning also. God, we must both be depressed, as this is something we never do. But it's cheered me up a little at least (which just proves that Grandma was right after all, dammit - hard work is a cure for all ills, though to be fair I've taken a happiness pill as well ...). I've packed up all my teapots (I used to collect these, sad to say) and put them in boxes so we have lots of lovely room to put books on the shelves instead. Instead of on the floor, where books usually go. Hurrah! While all that was going on, Lord H has cleared out the hall cupboard and we've created three binbags of rubbish, and we've then put the teapots in the cupboard so they're out of the way. Not only that, but Lord H has rearranged the cupboard so we have a boot section, a cleaning section, a domestics section and a food section. Rather than just chucking everything in higgledy-piggledy as was our wont. He also expressed interest in rearranging our DVD collection into Director and Year of Production, but I have dissuaded him on the grounds of marital sanity. Or any other sanity indeed. There's a limit to how sad even we can be in one day after all ...

Oh, and I've had another email from a member of the university gang, asking for a quick response to something I've already sorted out (though they don't know that). Frankly, bearing in mind that my emails are so rarely answered or even responded to, I'm not going to bother. So I've ... um ... deleted it. Ha! It's nice to be the one on the other end of a non-response this time, I have to say. As you can see, the older I get, the more of a cynical bitch I am turning into. Hell, I always knew it would happen ...

I've also scribbled some more of The Gifting down and hope to type it up later. Which just goes to show that I may not be able to sell the buggers but, bloody hell, I can still write 'em. And there's an evening of TV to look forward to, including "Dr Who", so it's not all sad faces and plain biscuits. Thank God.

Oh, and Jackie (http://freespace.virgin.net/jackie.luben/) has kindly added her review of A Dangerous Man (http://www.flamebooks.com) onto Amazon, which you can find here: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Dangerous-Man-Anne-Brooke/dp/0954594568/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/202-0915331-5590251?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1177779615&sr=8-1. Thanks so much, Jackie - much appreciated!

Today's nice things:

1. Baby animals
2. The Amazon review
3. TV.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com

The editing queen

I have worked like a trooper today and deserve countless gold stars, I'm sure. Well, maybe one anyway. For starters. First off, I must say how much I enjoyed the Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) meeting last night - it was really good in terms of (a) taking me out of my slough of despond, and (b) planning ahead for our two books of this year. It was also nice as Jennifer has read A Dangerous Man (http://www.flamebooks.com) now and says she thinks it's the best thing I've written. Thanks, Jennifer - actually I think so too (if I'm allowed - as a UK female - even to type that ...), though I know my two genres are very different. She might even be able to pop into the Book Circle discussion on Monday, which will be great as there's a woman who can talk (sorry, Jennifer!).

Anyway, our two books of this year are:

1. The Gawain Quest by Jay Margrave, which you can find here: http://www.goldenford.co.uk/main.pl?quest

or here:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Gawain-Quest-Medieval-Mystery/dp/0953161358/ref=sr_1_1/202-0915331-5590251?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1177688801&sr=8-1

and which is, frankly, the best and raunchiest historical mystery you'll read in a long time. With a very punchy main character too. And I know because I edited it. It's available in June, but order now to avoid disappointment. As they say!

So this morning, I've typed up the Goldenford minutes and edited our autumn book, which is also our first non-fiction one - a quirky and extremely interesting book on weird and wonderful eBay sales entitled Sold ... to the Lady with the Lime-Green Laptop by Irene Black. It's great. I really enjoyed editing it. Wonderful pictures and stories behind the sales too. This one will be ideal for your Christmas reading/presents for sure. We're anticipating an August publication date for that one. So good for late summer hols too!

Ooh, and I've also received a very kind review of ADM from Roger Morris, author of "Taking Comfort" and "A Gentle Axe" (both available on Amazon and well worth a read) on the Writewords (http://www.writewords.org.uk) site here: http://www.writewords.org.uk/forum/97_141651.asp and which I reproduce below:

"Michael Jones, the dangerous man of the title, is driven by overwhelming ambition and desire: the ambition to make it as an artist, and the desire to show the world his true talent and vision by putting on the first ever exhibition of his drawings. (Surely a storyline that will resonate with many of us here on Writewords!) Michael is a complex and contradictory man: to begin with, here is an artist who seems to have a horror of colour. Indeed, the suppression of colour from his art is ominously intriguing. Colour, perhaps, is metaphor for truth, because the life Michael comes to live is only viable if he rigorously excludes the truth of his disturbing past. If art aims at self-expression, the artist who seeks to edit and trammel his self is heading for trouble.

What makes this scenario even more interesting is that Anne Brooke has chosen to make Michael her narrator. If there are things that Michael cannot admit to himself, then he’s certainly not going to share them with the reader. Connoisseurs of ‘the unreliable narrator’ take note.

There are layers of revelation and deceit in this novel. Confidences that are shared with some characters (Frank, the landlord at the Soho pub where Michael turns tricks to support his art habit) are withheld from others (notably Jack, Michael’s rich lover and benefactor). And then there are the things that no one is ever told, or at least not directly. But which surface nevertheless. We can’t help noticing the disturbing quirks of Michael’s behaviour, which hint at something dark in the past and something darker yet to come. The tensions that are set in play inevitably lead to violence, at which we may be shocked but not surprised. But there is also an uncontrollable outpouring of self-expression, a kind of rampage of artistic creation. Anne Brooke writes well about art, but of course we can never see Michael’s drawings. So we can never really know whether he has any talent as an artist. This is where her choice of Michael as narrator works particularly well. Is his self-belief justified? Or are those characters who are rather less enthusiastic about his work more to be trusted?

As we all know, the creative artist has to have a degree of self-belief, as well as self-will. Michael has both to excess. But does he have the necessary self-awareness? Possibly. At one point, commenting on his own ability to exploit an emotionally charged incident in his relationship with Jack, he confides to the reader: “Nothing we do is pure…” He then goes on to assert, perhaps protesting too much: “though I loved him, I swear it.” Michael’s best visual art, it seems, comes when he allows the difficult truth about himself to break through the emotional carapace that is, in fact, his greatest creation. But the process, of course, destroys him.

Anne Brooke tells a gripping story (at one point I missed my tube stop!) in a direct, conversational style that pulls you along. She is particularly good, I think, at delineating the power shifts and dynamics of Michael’s developing relationship with Jack. The honesty that a relationship demands is completely beyond Michael. The scene where Michael is introduced to Jack’s family is very well done, with the tension between Michael and Jack’s mother extremely well observed. Michael is dumbstruck by the family’s apparent ease together, even more than by their wealth. It turns out that the potential for happiness is a greater divider than class.

Although the author uses some of the tricks of a thriller writer to keep the reader guessing, I read ‘A Dangerous Man’ ultimately as a tragedy. Michael Jones may be guilty of wishing for too much, but we cannot help being moved by his fate. Given that he is in many ways a selfish and ‘unsympathetic’ character, this is a remarkable achievement."

Gosh, thanks, Roger. Hugely. More than hugely. And hey maybe it might tempt one or two more readers into the BSRS (Brooke Select Readership Society)! You never know. Come and join us ... you know you want to ... [cue creepy music and wild unearthly laughter, aha!]

Anyway, after all this I nipped into Godalming and bought a local paper and a present for my stepfather (birthday in May). I also bought a panicky last-minute present for a friend whose 40th birthday is on Tuesday, but I'd forgotten it was the big 4-0. Whoops. Ah well. It's in the post now, and I hope it's suitable, John!

My head is now throbbing with all this computer work. Might do some scribbling (by hand and on paper!) of The Gifting tonight, but don't count on it. I also have to think about the cleaning (argh, no, no!) and of course there's Friday TV comedy night to look forward to. And a weekend. Bliss.

Today's nice things:

1. Editing Irene's book
2. Roger's review of ADM
3. Being up-to-date with birthday obligations.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com

A day of two halves ...

Very up and down today, I must say. In that order. Both me-wise and weather-wise. This morning was good. On all fronts (ho ho). Went into Guildford early and stocked up on underwear at Marks & Spencer. Where would I be without that shop? Today I've been bold and rebellious and actually bought bras that weren't white. Or black. Which are my usual bra colours. No, today I have bought, amongst other items, one pink and one light taupe bra. So I feel wild and free and liberated. Hurrah.

Also had a counselling session with Kunu. As I did things I enjoyed at the weekend, I think she's pleased with me. Though of course I know that isn't the object of the exercise. We talked about shopping and the Quakers, about friends and books. We agreed that perhaps the reason why I've been stuck on the last chapter of The Gifting is that I've been worried for days about whether I should or shouldn't go up to London to see the university gals. Then when I make the decision yesterday not to go, I felt some inner knot untie itself (heck, there's psycho drama for you) and then spent some time late last night telling Lord H what my last chapter would contain. Hell, it all came flooding out, and I had to rush to scribble the notes down. Luckily he has promised to expunge it from his memory so it won't spoil his reading if it ever comes to the page. Zip zip and the memory is gone ... it's amazing how Lord H can do that, y'know. Must be a boy thing.

Anyway, back at the counselling, Kunu is sure there's a link there somewhere. We talked about the uni gang for a while actually, and I think the trouble is that we're all performers to some extent or other. I think we spent a lot of time when we first met pretending things were different than they actually were. Sometimes that particular group friendship is like being on stage and we're all performing our own versions of a play which doesn't quite gel. Maybe over the years we've all changed so much and yet still, whenever we meet, we're back performing our usual roles, come what may. It can make it feel - at least for me - very awkward, and I get very tense and jittery about it all. And yet ... and yet ... I freely admit that, without them, I would never have managed to get through university. Or indeed my early 20s. Where did it all start to change? God knows. Maybe I should invite them all round for my birthday in June and just have a normal chat. Whatever that is. Again, God knows. I'm in two minds. As ever.

Though I have to say in my defence that it's not only me who's decided not to go to London tomorrow - someone else has dropped out to. For reasons more valid than mine. But at least it makes me feel less guilty. Which makes a bloody change then.

After counselling, I popped for tea & chat at Jane H's (hello, Jane!). This was lovely - I really enjoyed it. Sooo relaxing. And we covered so many topics. From recycling (we are both very excited about the new food recycling project in Guildford - my, how "Surrey" we both are indeed! - and I am desperate for it to come to Godalming too ..) to my mother's strange feelings about houses (they have atmospheres, you know), from the children (eat your veggies, little people, and stop pouting ...) to horse-riding, and from Roman soldiers to hearing voices (me, not her, I hasten to add, but then you knew that ...). Talking of which, Jane's mother has also apparently read A Dangerous Man (http://www.flamebooks.com) and was desperately worried that I'd had some past trauma that caused me to write such stories and was wanting to know how to help. Jane was able to reassure her, saying apparently that it was only that I heard Michael's voice in my head and just wrote down what he was trying to say. Strangely, this did reassure her - perhaps finding out that I'm probably a complete nutter was not a total surprise ... Still, I was very touched she'd been worried - so thank you, Mrs R.

Also, whilst at Jane's, I ordered some more Nutrimetics (http://www.nutrimetics.co.uk) products, so won't have to worry about running out of same. Hurrah!

Back home, I come to my emails, and was instantly plunged into the slough of despond to realised that my first quarter (ie 13 Feb to end March) sales of ADM have been ... um ... 44. Which Flame Books have now understandably downgraded from good sales to promising sales. To be honest, I'm surprised that anyone should think 44 is good sales, but perhaps they all came in the first two weeks and they were hoping the sudden spurt would continue. Ah well. No, I'm sounding too philosophical now. Actually, I cried, but it did start raining at the same time so at least I'm doing my bit for the ongoing literary tool of pathetic fallacy. To be honest, I was upset as I was hoping it might be in the 80s figure, maybe even more (though that for me would be serious dreamland only 2 months or so after publication). Though, once I'd dried my tears and had a banana, I checked my records and did remember that I've sold 11 copies myself, so have dragged the figure up single-handedly to 55. Hurrah indeed. So, in royalties terms (the 11 sold author copies don't count of course for that), I've made £35.20. Which I won't get of course as they don't, understandably, pay royalties until the figure goes over £100. My, how it makes me laugh when people think I earn money from books. Slap my thighs and build me a garret.

And, if I'm trying to be sensible, I will be lucky if I reach 100 copies sold with this one. Michael is a specialised (and possibly very acquired) taste. Looking back on my past books, The Hit List has only sold 93 in the three years since I published it, and Pink Champagne and Apple Juice (my biggest success so far!) has only sold 105 since last year. So the disappointing sales of ADM are, I suppose, at least par for the course. I pride myself, however, on having round about 40 very discerning readers - to you all, thank you. I hope you might read me again. Small is beautiful indeed. Should any publisher ever be idiotic enough to take yet another chance on me, that is.

Meanwhile, the rain has stopped and the sun is trying to come out. Ye gods, I know how it feels.

And I've done about 1000 words to The Gifting. Which, under the circumstances of feeling like a demolition tool had whacked me in the stomach, is pretty good going, I think! Oh, and bizarrely I've had two emails and two phone calls from the university gang, in various sexes. And I know I should be answering them and being normal in some way but, really, I just can't summon the emotional energy for that right now. Sorry, gang. It's beyond me at the moment.

Tonight, it's the Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) meeting, so I shall keep my head down, have no opinions, agree with everything and just take minutes. I think that's the way through it. And maybe a sherry or two when I get home. Oh yes, please God yes.

Today's nice things:
1. Counselling
2. Seeing Jane H
3. Writing.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com

Manor Park and mining the ideas factory

Did some real secretarial stuff today and prepared papers for Monday’s Steering Group meeting – which feels like getting more back to normal after the hiatus of the Easter holidays, conference etc. And God knows how much I like normal. If only I saw it more often.

The rest of the morning was spent visiting the new Manor Park campus – where Carol works some of the time as part of her mentoring remit. We walked there and back which took about 20-25 minutes or so each way, but my goodness she sets quite a pace. I’d forgotten how much quicker (at anything …) I must have been in my twenties. Or maybe I’m just used to a more sedate Golfing Pace these days? Anyway the actual campus is lovely – nice big rooms and all ensuite of course, as is usual these days. Now when I was at university all those years ago, the shared bathrooms were where you made your friends. Hmm, maybe that was the problem?!?... Mind you, I was surprised at the lack of social space – some comfy but characterless common rooms and one table-tennis room only. I suppose they use the kitchens for talking – by the way, the kitchens and common rooms all have digital TV. Bliss indeed. The setting is good too, but will be nicer when the trees and grass etc is all grown up. If you see what I mean.

What with all the excitement, I decided to skip my first back exercise course, which should have been today. But I don’t think I would have gone anyway, as I’m not feeling my best. Must be all that fast walking.

Ooh, and I popped out to the University gallery at lunchtime as there’s a new sports photographs exhibition on, some of them by staff. It was great. One of them – a picture of a deep-sea diver by Robert Kelsey (staff member) was so inspirational that I scribbled a poem about it:

Life after darkness: Peter Kelsey

He swims in shades of blue
deep where no-one
can seek him,
finds a narrow crack
between unknown worlds –

he’s been searching
for so long,
thought he’d never
see it;
all these years
and now suddenly
it’s here.

Only a moment
for the decision to be made –
didn’t think
he’d even need that
but he does –

then two kicks
of dark flipper,
a streak of rubber coating,
glint of torchlight
and he’s through.

Out there
in undiscovered blue.


I’ve had some ideas about the end of The Gifting too, which might steer me through some kind of an initial path into it. And also add to the tension a little. I hope. So I feel a bit better about it at the moment. Have to get on and actually write the darn stuff sometime though …

We had an hysterical conversation this afternoon about how our hairdos look whenever we wake up in the morning (the surprised cockatoo look is very in this year, don’t y’know). Ruth is convinced there are evil pillow elves which come in the night and mess things up. I can well believe it. Mind you, Ruth also says tent-face is worse, as whenever you’re in a tent, your face always ends up wedged against the canvas. Not being an outdoorsy type, this isn’t something I have to worry about. Thank God.

Oh, and I’ve written a poem about Easter too:

Easter

I used to like it
I mean ye gods but it’s got to be better
than Christmas

but somewhere between
the forgotten ages
of 38 and
42 – that nationally recognised
twilight zone for women –
I lost any interest
I might have had

in chocolate (unless
expensive), fluffy
lambs, small ducks,
irritating children
and one hundred and one
uses for an egg.

I mean it’s hard-boiled,
soft-boiled or
nothing, isn’t it?

Get over it
already.

So I’ve had enough
of festivals.
I’ve cancelled them,
at least in my house,
and from now on
I’ll be living
a pleasant, unexcitable
life.

Believe me it’s better
that way. Easter?
Bah, humbug, I say.


And I think I’ve decided not to go up to London this Friday. It’s just been quite an exhausting week and, to be honest, I don’t feel on top form, so I think I’ll give it a miss. I just desperately need a whole night in. And to see Lord H too, as this week if I’ve been in, he’s been out (tonight, it’s boring old Village Hall Committee for him), and vice versa, and I miss him. Plus I really need to get some sleep – particularly as May is going to be rather hectic. Yes, I know - excuses, excuses, but it's just the way it is.

Meanwhile, the Pink Champagne and Apple Juice site is coming along nicely. The launch will be on Friday 4 May, 3pm UK time, and I’ll be sending early invitations out to a few people shortly. It’s looking good, and now has a chat/comments section as well as the other whizzes & bangs. So thanks, Sue & Frank (http://www.teafriendsandchocolate.com/sue/) once more!

Tonight, I’m doing some much-needed shopping (groan) and then I’ll try to get some of my writing ideas (see above) started. That’s the plan anyway. Ho ho.

Today’s nice things:

1. A morning looking at Manor Park
2. Getting an idea for The Gifting
3. The Pink Champagne website preparation.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com/
http://www.goldenford.co.uk/