Friday, June 06, 2008

Bumbling along and battening down

A nice lie-in today and a slow start to the morning. God though, but I needed it. Didn't do much else really before lunch which wasn't till 2-ish anyway. Because I couldn't be arsed to get any. I'm obviously missing my five-course repast delivered straight to my mouth a la our Portuguese river boat. Ah well. I've also done a few lines of Hallsfoot's Battle, but not with any degree of enthusiasm or commitment. I gave up after about 200 words. I'm coming up to a big scene and I don't have the energy to start it, or even the belief that I might actually be able to, to be honest.

I've also withdrawn from my Group commitments on the Writewords site - something of a relief in terms of timescale, I must say - though of course a large percentage of the work I've read on there is top-class. Which - sadly - these days means it's unlikely to find a publisher, but hey we knew that already. I'm still unsure whether I'll renew my Writewords subscription come August - the jury is most distinctly out on that possibility! And having made such a fuss, particularly recently, about the importance of calling myself a writer if asked what I do, I now find that the advantages of not bothering to press the point are becoming clearer. Why make the effort when it's not actually a battle I'm likely to win? Perhaps the phrase well I used to be a writer, but now I'm not so sure is nearer the heart of it, goddammit.

I've also meandered round Godalming getting odds and sods needed for the house, whilst trying to talk to as few people as possible. At least I've sorted out a Father's Day present which I shall have to remember to send off next week. And, yes, I've taken my De-Stress Pills to try to avoid the heavy curtain of depression which has descended over my head this afternoon, but hey they're not working yet. Then again, it's been a bloody week and I suppose I should have expected my alleged coping strategies would turn and rend me limb from limb at some stage. I was just hoping for later rather than sooner. Sigh.

Mind you, it's not all doom & gloom. I've booked my birthday lunch in a couple of weeks' time at Wisley, so will be hoping for a glorious day and some stunning roses.

Tonight, I have to attempt to make the flat look presentable, and I will also continue to wonder, in a slightly exisential kind of way, what to do about the broken toilet and water tank. As you do.

Today's nice things:

1. A lie-in
2. Getting the shopping done
3. Sorting out my birthday lunch.

Anne Brooke
Anne's website
Goldenford Publishers


Anonymous said...

Dear Anne,
When I saw that you had resigned from both our shared groups on WW I came and had a look here. I'm really sorry that you are sounding down at the moment. The people who bring the most laughter and joy into this shitty world sometimes sink the lowest too. Thank you for the times you've made me laugh. I wish the best for you ill friend and that you will soon be brimming with energy. Rod.

Anne Brooke said...

Oh, thanks so much, Rod - that's really kind of you. I really do need some downtime (in the best sense!) at the moment I think. Love & hugs to you.