… Sigh. And what a big sigh it is. Was quite tearful last night and this morning at the thought of going back to work. It’s still weighing on my shoulders now really. That’s always the minus side of going on holiday: you have to damn well come back. Groan. Though Lord H did lift the existential gloom a little by making my breakfast napkin into a candle shape, courtesy of our new napkin folding skills. What a hero. I wonder what tomorrow’s shape will be. Still, here at the office coalface first thing this morning, I was so depressed I could barely talk to anyone and only managed a few words beyond a passing grunt at eleven o’clock. I think that’s probably my quota for the day then.
I’m also feeling low as the small US publisher I sent The Gifting to has bounced it back and there’s no sign of any interest from the mainstream publishers John sent it to either. Yes, I know it’s early days to be moaning, but hell when has that ever stopped me? And actually these days they either like it in the first couple of weeks or they don’t. Or so it seems. I am feeling very disheartened about the whole thing really. So I’m not putting any great emphasis on getting more of Hallsfoot’s Battle done – I’ll do it as and when I feel up to it. I’m also planning to backtrack on some of my web commitments – they’re not doing me any good at all. Just creating false hope. And I can well do without that at the moment.
Sorry, I know this is depressing – but I’ve come right down from the total wonderment of being on holiday and am struggling to find some kind of even keel. Maybe the problem is that I (confidently, ho ho) didn’t take my B Vitamin Happy Pills with me to Portugal – I didn’t need them then but I realise now that I should have taken them if only to keep my levels up. I’m determinedly back to 2 shots of the stuff per day for at least this week and am hoping that will help.
Reflexology at lunchtime was much needed too – I drifted off and felt a bit more normal by the time the Blessed Emily had finished with my feet. Lord only knows what I’d do without reflexology – I thoroughly recommend it to everyone.
Tonight, I’m supposed to be getting back into my normal routine of visits etc and had half-planned to see Gladys on my way home – but to be honest I am just so desperate to be at home and stay there that it’ll be amazing if I don’t run someone down in the process. So I’ll leave Good Works till later in the week. My place in Heaven is rapidly diminishing, if in fact it’s still there at all …
And there’s “Springwatch” on TV, thank God. I think I’m up to that. Roll on retirement, eh!!
Oh but I have thought of another nice thing – hurrah indeed. I read three good books on holiday: (a) Jodi Picoult’s Change of Heart – her best yet and a total page-turner. Thoroughly recommended. (b) Anita Shreve’s Body Surfing – ditto. A fabulous read. You must rush out and buy it. Has a totally perfect and poignant ending and a wonderful main character. (c) Harlen Coben’s Hold Tight. The worst of the three really, but still a gripping read. Not as good as his earlier one but great for holidays.
Today’s nice things:
1. Lord H’s napkin skills