Tesco and topiary

Life News:

We've been in our new home for a week now and I'm loving it. The only downside is the influx of spiders we're getting (yuck!) but of course that's with having a garden and the joys of the season, I fear. Still, battling back, I have bought some spider doom equipment and a keep away spray so here's hoping that will thin out the wretched beasts. Even so, it's not as bad as where I grew up on a farm where the spiders were the size of wheels and frequently armed. Double yuck.

Other discoveries we've made this week are that we have a hazelnut tree, complete with nuts, in the garden and some hazelnut sprigs scattered around, and that the weird switch near the kitchen door lights up the under-the-cupboard areas around the kitchen walls. All very odd, but I imagine it will give the kitchen a romantic aura in winter, hey ho. Not convinced how vital it is however.

Our lovely friends, L & J, have once again come to the rescue and donated us their no-longer-wanted fridge freezer as our fridge has been broken for weeks. At the Woking flat, we'd resorted to keeping things in cool boxes in order to avoid serious food diseases. Now, it's bliss - we hadn't realised margarine could be so firm (as it were) as recently we've been all but drinking it. So another big round of applause for L & J - I fear that soon their house will be nothing but an empty shell as all their worldly goods eventually make their way to ours!...

This week, K has removed the area of dead lavender bush near the vegetable patch, and trimmed the topiary ball, which now looks far better. Hey, I've always wanted a topiary ball and now I have one! K didn't look keen when I mentioned wanting a matching pair, but he did so well with the trimming that I don't want him to lose the skill ... We've also ordered a composting bin from the council so we're seriously getting stuck in.

Yesterday, I popped into our old doctor's as I was due an appointment anyway and I wanted to say a proper goodbye as we're in the process of joining the Elstead one. She's been ruddy brilliant with me and my various ailments and I'll really miss her - but apparently not too much as I found out she lives two roads away from me in the village. Honestly, Elstead is truly the centre of the known universe, you know. All the best people come here.

Today, Jane H (hello, Jane!) came round for coffee, a chat and a tour of the estate (well, in my dreams, eh), which was fabulous. And she bought us a lovely French lavender bush as a house-warming present - thank you, Jane! - so we can plant that where we pulled out the dead lavender earlier on, hurrah. Plus, just now, Tesco have delivered enough shopping to feed the British army (should they arrive for tea ...) and I have fed the freezers, which should keep them happy for a while.

In the meantime, I'm waiting for British Gas to arrive to give us a first service, but no signs yet. Still, if we didn't have to wait for a gasman, then it wouldn't really be England, hey ho.

Book News:

I've started writing again, which has been very much on the back-burner for a week or so. I'm working on a literary gay short story at the moment, tentatively entitled In the Silence of The Heart, but I'm taking it steady and I think it be a while before I get properly into a routine again. But it's nice to be back, however lightly.

Literary lesbian short story The Girl in the Painting has surprised me again by turning up as the No 2 international bestseller in August at Untreed Reads, well gosh. And don't forget that there are a lot of book bargains to be had in September at the Untreed Reads bookstore - shop early, shop often!

Meanwhile, at Vulpes Libris Reviews, you can find my review of To Marry a Prince by Sophie Page, a right royal romance that's light-hearted and great fun and should take you happily into the autumn.

Here are this week's meditation poems:




Meditation 567
Somewhere in this cacophony
of trumpet, horn and harp,
shouts, wild applause and song

there must be a memory
of silence, an unheard voice
to rest upon.




Meditation 568
Even the holy Levites
needed administrators

which just goes to show
that a good secretary

is always worth her weight
in blessings.




Meditation 569
A list of holy names
in which I have
no real interest
fills my mind
and this quiet room.

I cannot catch
any wisdom here
and my frail attempts
at prayer
end too soon.


Anne Brooke
The Thoughtful Corner

Hallsfoot, horses and home

Life News:

We're in our new home at last, and it's absolutely wonderful! We seriously love it. The move went very smoothly and because we've blitzed it over the last couple of days, we're now fully unpacked - though some of the bookshelves/book cases and wardrobes might need sorting out at some point. It's nice to have themed rooms and try to suit the books to the theme - though the same can't be said of the wardrobes of course! It feels like we're really starting to settle in. The horses in the field at the bottom of the garden are an added bonus, especially with the foals (ah, sweet!), we have bought gardening equipment and K has already planted out - with autumn veg - one of the three raised beds in the vegetable plot. All very rural, m'dears. Next gardening job - attempting to work out how to make the fountain functional. Don't get too excited - it's not Versailles (though to us it probably is)! The fountain's small, but hey it's there and we're going to get it working. One day. STOP PRESS! K has got the fountain working already, so now we have a mini Versailles, sort of - what a hero!

Interesting things about moving to a house from a flat. We have an upstairs where you go to bed - heck, that's strange. We have our own wheely-bin and recycling bins - which feels very grown-up as we've always shared these before. There is more than one bathroom (hurrah!) which saves the morning panic as we both try to get ready at the same time. And - wait for it!! - I am at last a Woman with an Electric Garage Door which (possibly sadly) has been my dream for so many years I can't even begin to tell you. Fan-bloody-tastic!! I could play with it for ages, but K advises against it as I'll wear the batteries down. But, honestly, it's better than the telly.

Already, we have eaten out at the local pub, The Woolpack, which was very good indeed with very friendly people, and bought our papers from the local Spar - which is much larger and with a wider variety of goods than you might expect in a village, and is open every day except Sunday from 7am to 9pm (Sundays it closes at 7pm) - gosh, that's better than shops in town really. Today we have dropped in at St James' Church for Parish Communion which I really liked, and enjoyed a BBQ with our very good friends, L & J, who happen to live 2 doors down (hurrah!), so have met a raft of other new neighbours which was lovely. We feel we've arrived now - we may well lower the tone but, hey, we're here!

While I'm on, I must also seriously sing the praises of L, who left a big box of "Welcome to Your New Home" presents AND a box full of quiche, salad, strawberries, cream & champagne, and coffee in a flask for our supper when we moved in - all of which were hugely appreciated. Honestly, L is the most generous woman I know, and it actually made me cry. She is definitely my Heroine of The Year. Big time. Thank you, L.

Book News:

Stop Press! I'm delighted to say that Bluewood Publishing have agreed to publish the second fantasy novel in my Gathandrian Trilogy, Hallsfoot's Battle, so a huge thank you to Paulette and David for accepting it. I'm really thrilled and what a very lovely week it's proving to be indeed.

Meanwhile, not to be outdone, the first in the series, The Gifting, has just been purchased as an ebook by the Singapore National Library, so that's a great surprise.

At the same time, gay thriller A Dangerous Man gained a five star review at Goodreads (many thanks, Nithu) and the ebook version will be on sale for September only at £2.10 in the UK and $2.99 in the US - so now's your chance to snap up a serious bargain.

Speaking of bargains, ALL my books at Amber Allure Press are on sale at a 25% discount throughout September as well - so there's yet more good reading shopping to be done! Buy early, buy often ...

And, in terms of other reviews, gay erotic short story For One Night Only gained an interesting review at Goodreads, so thank you to Book Robot Reviews for that. Don't forget you can win a copy of For One Night Only or The Gifting by signing up to my newsletter - you still have until 23 September to enter! Don't miss out!

This week's meditation poem is:




Meditation 566
They task us
to guard the gate,
a way out
and a way in:

a concept
entirely dependent
on what you think of
as home.


The Sunday haiku is:

One small grey squirrel
dancing on the neighbour's tree,
gazing right at me.


Anne Brooke
The Thoughtful Corner

Slow machines and cancellations

Ah the existential pain of getting back to work. It’s taken me at least four hours to get my working head on again. If I even have such a thing. Groan. Added to that, my computer is playing up big-time and I have to have one of the IT technicians come and sort it out for me before I can even get onto the web. Excel’s rather dodgy too. At least I think they’re coming to sort it out – perhaps they’re just going to shoot me and hire someone who understands the computer? It may yet be the cheaper option …

Still, nobody seems very inspired today – our lunchtime Steering Group was cancelled as everyone is away, so it meant I could pop in to see Gladys in hospital over lunch rather than this evening – when I so desperately want to be at home. And talking of home, this morning Lord H and I were both longing to give up work and retire to a life of leisure, so it’s amazing we’ve managed to reach our offices at all. We just have so much more fun – and are far more relaxed – on our holidays. Really, retirement is wasted on the old. Poor Gladys though – not at her best again today, although at least she did vaguely recognise me. Lordy but she hates being in hospital so much. Can’t say I blame her either.

Anyway, the lunchtime cancellations have left me with a job-lot of sandwiches and very few people to eat them. Even the sabbaticals are all away, darn it. Though I can’t say I blame them – our boss is sick and has actually come in to do work. Double groan. If I’m sick for next week’s Thorn in the Flesh launch because I’ve picked something up from him, trust me: I will not be happy!!! Big time.

Oh and here's a poem which sums up my day. Basically.

My head

is full of soup
so there's no chance
of connection

with the mother-ship
today

if you're asking.



Tonight Lord H is at the shops as I just can’t bear the thought of them. And I’m intending to try to get my head together (don’t wait up then …) and, when I fail at that, watch “The Palace”. Not sure I’m up to working out what Annyeke’s going to get up to next in The Gifting but I might dabble a little. Ooh, and some kind person might even have looked at Thorn in the Flesh on Amazon as I actually have a rating now. Of sorts. Well, gosh!


Today’s nice things:

1. Surviving the day
2. Poetry
3. TV.

Anne Brooke
Anne's website
Goldenford Publishers

The squeezed-out conference attender

Well, I'm back from the AUA (http://www.aua.ac.uk) conference up in Nottingham and feel like a squeezed-out sponge. It was well worth going, but these things are always very intensive and it's great to be back.

This isn't going to be a huge blog, I'm afraid (thank God, you all cry!), as I can barely keep my eyes open, and I still have to (a) wash up Lord H's sausage & chips supper (yummy) and (b) unpack. Not to mention the mountain of post to deal with - oh well, there's always tomorrow.

Highlights of the conference: getting an Easter egg as a goodie bag in the second seminar; actually bringing it home unwrapped for Lord H to share with me; having chocolate cheesecake for dinner on the first evening; seeing lambs in the fields next to the M1. Lambs with black legs and white bodies, no less. Ye gods, it must be Easter.

Oh, and a couple of times during the conference I think I almost sounded like a professional. But not for long, I fear.

And I've come back to a lovely review of "A Stranger's Table" (http://www.poetrymonthly.com) by Anna Avebury of the Ver Poets Society, as below:

“In this collection, the poet reveals a striking awareness of the power of poetry to enact a ‘strange sea-change’ on the ‘heated substance’ of the reader. The majority of poems are celebrations of the life of the imagination and the senses, skilfully crafted, timely reminders of an aspect of life all too often neglected. A veritable “Ice Dancer” herself, Anne Brooke communicates ‘the danger, the explosion/of words/into ice’. She explores the inner world of personal relationships with an acute awareness of its complexity and is able to share these insights in poems, which are richly sensuous. Nor does she neglect the mundane: “Calling” describes a fridge door crammed with telephone numbers and messages; although she finds the ‘net of community’ ‘unforgiving’ and ‘beyond our calling.’ “Things I fold away” lists not only the obvious ‘briefs, bras, (into nests) … socks, jumpers …’ but also ‘my history, silences … your disapproval … resentment, irritations …’ And ultimately, ‘life’. The last poem in the collection, “The cat’s response to yellow”, captures the elusive nature of inspiration and its transformation into art, leaving the reader pondering the experience of ‘the echo of yellow air.’”

That's kept the smile well and truly on my face.

Oh, and before I left, I finished the poem on Marat:

The Death of Marat: The Studio of Jacques-Louis David

One pale arm hangs down,
gripping a quill
with which he might have written mercy,
while the other holds the letter
that condemned him,
making the unseen woman
a murderess
and him a martyr.

High upon his body,
almost at the collarbone,
a thin trail of blood
trickles down over white skin
to the bath he ran to soothe it.

His head, wrapped in cream cloth,
rests on the nearest shoulder,
eyes closed in peace,
lips half-smiling
as if only asleep
or dreaming.

In line with the tilt of his face,
the woman’s knife lies
abandoned,
his life’s blood still staining
its ivory handle.

And, above,
only the vast, uncharted dark
hangs waiting.


Today's nice things:

1. Coming home
2. The review
3. Lambs.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Counselling and the imaginary gay male

Another session of counselling with Kunu this morning. Actually I felt quite positive. We talked a lot about writing, about Michael and even got onto mentioning Paul (from "Maloney's Law") and Simon from "The Gifting". It's funny how I can know exactly what was happening for me at the time of writing them simply by looking at my strange line of imaginary gay males and their story. For instance, Michael is the screwed-up, desperately needy one (and God, what a year-and-a-half that was for me too), then the next one along is Paul, who's possibly even needier, but who covers it well with a nice dose of dry wit and the innate ability to grow (I felt better that year). Now, there's Simon who has a hell of a time at the beginning of his story, but who now finds himself on a journey to somewhere better - though he doesn't know where yet - and, even though he's shit-scared, is actually beginning to enjoy it. Lord alone knows where we go next. It's also interesting that now I've got Michael in the world beyond my own head, I'm beginning to focus more on Paul once more. Anyone fancy giving a publishing home to a good-looking gay PI who's obsessed with his ex-lover, has a bitter secret in his past and an almost Asperger's ability to calculate time? He can laugh at himself too ...

Anyway, Kunu and I have come to the conclusion that I am having a better week because I've actually managed to communicate with the outside world (by means of Michael) in a meaningful (I hope) way, and that astonishingly I'm getting positive feedback in return - which is making all the bloody difference. Ye gods though, if I am getting my personal validation from good reviews, I am obviously far more desperate than even I had realised. Must go back to those "self-esteem and how to find it" lessons ... And God help me when the bad reviews turn up. Argh!

We also talked about clothes - my £400 Orvis spend has turned up and I love every single one of my new items. I'm even wearing my new blue and white jumper now - it's ace. I think actually that now Michael is free (or freer) from me, I feel I can (a) buy nice clothes, and (b) wear different earrings. God, I'm so psychotic I probably have more issues than Paul. It's as if all this time I've been waiting. Oh, hang on, I'm getting muddled - that last sentence is actually from "Maloney's Law". I remember it well. Bloody hell, I'm plagiarising myself. Ah well, you read it here first.

At home, I discover that my copies of "A Dangerous Man" (http://www.flamebooks.com) have actually turned up - hurrah! So I can send out my copies to (a) Clayton (http://www.myspace.com/dwbsoho) who has apparently trashed his version of PayPal (well done, Clayton! I tried that once, but they got stroppy with me; they obviously have more respect for you), (b) Gary at Independent Authors (http://www.independentauthors.co.uk) in case he can sell any, and (c) the Apsley Guise Scout Association (no, don't laugh - they want a copy for their charity auction even though I have explained what ADM is about and that Michael isn't really suitable, unless the Scouts are much, much changed from what they used to be ...). So I have packaged items as if it were an Olympic sport and will post them tomorrow.

And, at the same time, Jennifer from Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) tells me that she needs copies of my books and a few flyers for the market they're holding in Guildford on Tuesday. I shall have to see if I can pop in tomorrow morning, or Monday night, as I'm on retreat in Bristol this weekend, so shall be out of contact until Sunday night. When I won't really be arsed to get in a car - with or without books - and drive anywhere. If I don't hear from her, I'll try ringing tonight, as I'd rather squeeze it into tomorrow morning's schedule than have to do it after work. Monday night is always, if at all possible, spent at home. I cannot make any kind of bid for sanity otherwise ...

Oh, and I've popped into see Gladys too - who is quite bright today and enjoying the daffodils. She's quite worried about her cat though, as she fears they might take Dolly (said cat) away from her. Seems unnecessarily cruel to me. Dolly's no trouble. Can't she ring Old People's Line about this sort of thing? If the Powers That Be do decide to steal poor Dolly, I will round up the usual suspects and cat-nap the damn moggy back for her. Godalming: The Cat Wars. It would probably make a good film.

Tonight, I will start packing (otherwise I will get twitchy). No, that's a lie. I shall be twitchy anyway as I hate being away from home and Lord H. Travel, of any kind, is just not natural. God knows why people insist on doing it. But I know I need to get away to think & regroup (me and my imaginary men), and I think now is a good time to do it.

Today's nice things:

1. Counselling
2. Copies of ADM arriving
3. Thinking about writing.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com

Counselling and Clarins

Got to town early today to avoid the mad rush for spaces, but weirdly the car-park that's never full was full, and the one that's always full was empty. Will the excitement of the year never end? So I managed to rush round town like a dervish and get suitable gifts for Lord H before going to my counselling appointment. This was really good this week - I feel I'm getting to a deeper level with stuff than I was able to do with Zoe, partly because I was new at the game then and partly because there was so much other crap going on that I couldn't concentrate on the core stuff. Bloody hell, but Kunu the counsellor (which sounds suspiciously like Vlad the Impaler, but she smiles more) is good. She made me think seriously about having a real conversation with Michael (the man who's always in my head and whom the non-funny books I write are always, always about in some way or other - hey somebody pass me the strait-jacket, won't you?...) so we can see what he actually has to say. Scary but interesting. I think I'll do it - next time maybe - but I also think I'll do some free association writing on it and see what comes up. After all, writing it as a first pass through might make it easier. But hey - counselling homework. Who'd have thought it?

I spent the next two hours post-counselling in the Library writing out the Christmas cards and inserting our sad couple's Christmas letter in the cards of those people I actually want to communicate with. Hmm, says it all really. I was also shocked to discover that Guildford Library has no loo. Honestly, what a rubbish (I would prefer to say "crap" here but the pun is too much even for me) place! It hardly has any books either - just staff who look as if they've been there for 150 years, died and never been buried.

Then, it was another two glorious hours in the hands of my Clarins therapist. Ah, the bliss of a facial and massage combined. Almost makes me feel female. Now, there's a novelty. What would Michael think? Oh sorry, I'm not supposed to be doing my homework yet. Bugger.

Today's nice things:

1. Counselling
2. Clarins treatments
3. Coming home and realising I don't have to speak to anyone else but Lord H for a whole evening - hurrah!

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Visiting, cleaning & napping

Goodness, what a wide variety of exciting activities makes up my day! Finally managed to pop in to see Gladys this morning - but didn't stay long as she was very confused, and I think my answers weren't making anything clearer. To either of us. We also had fun trying to change the battery in her hearing aid - why do the manufacturers make these things so damn complicated? You'd think they'd have more sense!!

Came home to help Lord H do the cleaning - finally! It's my most hated task, but I have to admit the flat does look less like a war zone now. Still got the hoovering to do though - hell, it's a man's job, ha! Spent the rest of the afternoon lapping up old Star Trek episodes before giving in to the overwhelming desire to nap. Have to catch up on my sleep somehow, y'know. Oh, and I also wrote a poem about spaces - which I think I'm fairly happy with. I'll type it up later.

Tonight, Lord H & I are off for dinner with some of my old university friends. It's funny how I used to feel they were the ones I was closest to, and now I don't. I think things have moved on for us all, to be honest. It'll be a pleasant enough evening, I'm sure, but the thought of making the 1.5-2hr journey down south just for food is a little exhausting. Still, at least we've decided not to stay overnight - I always find that prospect awkward, no matter who I'm staying with. My prime desire is to be home at all times!

Today's nice things:

1. Napping
2. Star Trek
3. Writing a poem.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk