Wednesday, November 01, 2006

A computer break-down, counselling and a car crisis

Hell, but I like starting everything with the same letter. It's obviously a "C" day. Couldn't post anything yesterday as Broadband dictated against it, but it now seems to be up and running so let's count our blessings. Not that much happened yesterday - felt a bit low, got up, did work, came home and went to sleep. Basically.

Actually, scrub that last bit - there were two nice things that happened yesterday. The Health Centre invited me to their spooky lunch (it being Halloween), and I thought "sod the theology, I'm pissed off, so why not?", went along and had a great time for an hour. Ate pizza, chicken satay, babies' hearts (figs, cheese & bacon, in case you're really worrying) and dead mens' fingers (shortbread slices with almonds for nails). Never say the Health Centre don't have a sense of humour. We played a Trick or Treat game, and I had fun being a monster, and then eating chocolate anyway. It was a hell of a lot better than my planned brisk walk and some pasta for lunch. Thanks for inviting me, Monique!

And the second nice thing of yesterday was finding two very supportive comments responding to the depressive posting of the day before - many thanks, Nik ( & Anon. Much appreciated.

Which brings me to today - not much excitement. But I did have my last counselling session at UniS with Zoe. It was good. We talked about how I should develop my hermit side, and give far more time to being quiet and alone (two things I love), rather than pretending to be a social person, which I'm not. Suits me, sir (or madam, rather). We also played a game in which I rearranged Zoe's collection of pepples, shells and coloured beads into a shape I thought was myself. Neither of us had done that before, and it was amazing what came out. I ended up with a line of shells/pebbles connected by small beads to each other (representing me) with, on either side, a clump (yes, that is the word) of ugly orange beads representing the world - which were as far away from "me" as possible. My problem was that I felt the connecting coloured lines which linked parts of "me" together were most often spent pretending to connect with the orange clumps when in fact they were expending the effort on keeping the world at bay. Are you still with me? Sit up at the back there ... So the plan is to develop the flexibility and strength of the linking parts so I can (a) keep myself together and real, and (b) bend round and touch the world now and again when I feel it's safe to do so.

So, there you have it. I'm sorry it's my last counselling session with Zoe, as she's been great and I really relate to her. But I've decided to carry on outside the university, and will be having an introductory counselling session at the Castle Street Clinic ( later in November. Watch this space.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Lord H is stuck in Waitrose as the car won't start and is waiting for the RAC. Hope they're quicker than the ruddy AA were in June ... I've taken him some food and brought back the frozen shopping, but I hope he'll be home soon. Bloody cars.

Today's nice things:

1. Counselling
2. When Lord H gets home - soon, I hope!

Anne Brooke

No comments: