Friday, February 09, 2007

Birthday boy and a bricked-up boyfriend

Hey, if that title doesn't pull you in, nothing will ... First off, it's Lord H's birthday today - hurrah! I'm not allowed to mention how old he is though; suffice it to say that I'll be 43 this year, and he's a full year older than me. 'Nuff said. Anyway, he doesn't look a day over 29, I'm sure. And any ageing that has appeared since our first ever meeting is of course entirely down to his being married to me. Or so he keeps saying.

Anyway, I performed my wifely duties first thing this morning (no, not those, people - 6.30am is way too early!!! And, besides, this is Surrey, you know ...) and provided breakfast chocolate cake and suitable presents and cards. Which included a huge tome on the history of the Book of Common Prayer, which appears to be three feet thick, with size 8 font printing. However Lord H is happy with it, so I gain Wife Points. And of course Points Mean Prizes ... I also bought him the Beginner's Guide to Origami set, so not only can we have a surfeit of small paper planes in the flat, but we can have animals and birds too. Huzzah! My cup indeed runneth over. Already he has made me an origami dog - which would have been charming and nice if I hadn't thought it was a whale. Ah well. I can only be nice in short bursts - anything else isn't natural. And, of course, I have also sent him flowers to work, so it can give him something to be embarrassed about. I asked for a mixture of orange and purple, and apparently he has ended up with blue roses. Hmm. GM crops are a wonderful thing indeed ...

This morning, I have done sod all, really - probably the fall-out from yesterday's hyped-up hive of activity. But I did pop into Guildford for lunch with a friend, Sue - I have caught up with her daughter's traumas, which include the daughter's Dreadful Boyfriend. Still, at 18, I think everyone has a Dreadful Boyfriend - except me, of course, but I did live in the country in my formative years so didn't meet a man until I was 17 (ah brave new world, etc etc ...), and anyway I like to think that I am an acquired taste, like an olive. Lord H was the only one who didn't run fast enough and was therefore unable to avoid my marital rugby tackle tactics ... Anyway, Sue and I have decided that the best way forward is to brick the DB up in her new extension and tell the daughter that he's gone to Paris. You heard it here first, people ...

On my way back, I also popped in to see Gladys, who was quite lively today and had a wasp (a wasp!! at this time of year! Lord preserve us ...) which she is keeping alive in the hallway with leaves from the garden. My personal preference would be for a gerbil, but there's no accounting for taste. And it's always good for the older folk to have a hobby. But, please, if I take to wasp-keeping in my nineties, I demand that someone pulls the plug on me. It would be a mercy killing in my case, I feel.

Tonight, I am providing Lord H with his regular birthday requests (hey, steady, people, steady! ...) of sausages, beans & crinkle-cut chips, followed by chocolate ice cream, all washed down with pink champagne. Never say we don't know how to push the boat out in downtown Godalming. And I'm determined to be extra nice to him with no teasing for a whole weekend. Well, a girl has to try. Though Lord H remains unconvinced that I will manage this great task, and is muttering darkly about whether he has the correct wife or not. We'll see, eh? I do so love a challenge.

Today's nice things:

1. Watching Lord H's joy at getting his origami set
2. Lunch and murderous talk with Sue
3. Naughty birthday food.

Anne Brooke


Cathy said...

Happy birthday Lord H!

Do you think the origami is his midlife crisis? Fairly harmless one if so.



Anne Brooke said...

Probably, Cathy! If he starts making curvy paper women, then I'll know for sure!!