Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Self-esteem seminar

Felt very low today - God knows why. It's distressing how things pile up, I ignore them for weeks/months and then they overwhelm me. There must be another way of managing my own life, if only I knew what that might be. Ho hum. Attended a self-esteem seminar at the Cathedral today - and ended up feeling lower than ever. All those tips for a balanced life, but not energy enough to apply them. It was also terrifying walking into the room and having to do the breakfast chat thing on my own. David (boss) turned up after a while though, so at least there was someone to sit next to. Also Jennifer from Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) was there as well, and we managed a brief publication-related chat afterwards.

The rest of the day trundled by. High points were (a) a good and unexpected chat with David about how frightened I am about next week's publication/launch week for "Pink Champagne and Apple Juice", which will be followed closely by the Winchester Writers Conference (which for various reasons will be rather more demanding than usual, though worth it, I hope - http://www.writersconference.co.uk). David was actually really sweet. It's funny how much I want to be read and how much I at the same time dread other people's judgement. Doesn't make for much sanity really. (b) Lovely encouragement from Julia (thanks, Julia ...) from UnisWriters - who said a lot which I know is right but I'll have to wait for hope to return to take in those words of wisdom. And (c) a very nice lunch with Angela, also from UniSWriters, about writing, work and the hell that is minute-taking. It cheered me up a little, so thanks, Angela.

Ate healthily this evening and felt (marginally) better. Tonight it's the monthly Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) meeting, but thank goodness Jackie has agreed to take minutes - thanks, Jackie. I couldn't have coped with them right now ...

Which makes me think that no matter how bad I feel, people around me today (including Lord H) have been desperately nice. Which in itself makes me feel better - and I'm desperately grateful. You don't know how much ...

Anne Brooke

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