Of ex-agents and Strictly gold

Back to the meditations this morning, so here's today's:

Meditation 223

Twelve leaders,
seven accountants
but only two altars

for prayer
just about sums up
the church,

both then
and now.


Is it just me or is everything topsy-turvy in terms of standards? Ah well. Anyway, this morning I have finally brought to an end the relationship between my agent and me, and honestly it feels as if a great weight of literary expectation has been lifted from my shoulders. And I hadn't even realised it was there - though abandoning any form of agent representation has been going through my mind for months really. Ye gods though, it feels good to be free. After all, no mainstream press is ever going to give me the time of day, so why put myself through the agonising mill each time? Crazy really. So it's back to my usual small independent press outlets, plus self-publishing. It's like coming home.

With that in mind, I've uploaded my third poetry collection, Salt and Gold (Forty Meditations) onto Lulu UK and you can find out more here. I've requested a proof copy just to check it for sillies, so it's not quite ready yet, but I do so love the cover:



It will be available as a paperback and in ebook versions, so I'll let you know when that's happened. And talking of good things (hurrah - makes a change after yesterday's misery, eh), I must say that the Chris & Ola's rumba on Strictly Come Dancing yesterday absolutely took my breath away. It was romantic, strong and very very poignant, and Chris (who I've never heard of before, I must admit) was somehow a dead ringer for Colin Firth during the dance, so he is definitely now my favourite. I've watched the dance on YouTube several times already and here it is in case you've somehow missed it. Well worth a viewing for sure.

Other events of today - we managed church this morning, though slipped away before the agonies of the post-service coffee & chat could come upon us. Some great hymns too, and someone behind me was singing really well, so it meant I could keep in tune more easily. Always makes a difference.

I've also caught up with Ugly Betty on TV, though the episode was a tad on the gloomy side, really. Bring back the humour is what I say. Tonight, there's not much viewing pleasure on offer, so I might dig out a DVD and chill a little before the horrors of the week to come (double groaning alert). Ooh, and so far, my Sony Reader is at least a thousand times better than the CoolReader - it's much quicker and even allows me to read an eBook without breaking down, ho ho. I love it and I've named it Eric. The wretched CoolReader is thankfully forgotten.

And here's the week's haiku:

Tall, dark and silent.
Forgotten sunflower fields
wait their turn to die.

Today's nice things:

1. Poetry
2. Abandoning the agent
3. Salt and Gold
4. Strictly rumbas
5. My Sony Reader
6. Haikus.

Anne Brooke - Strictly impressed
Salt and Gold - meditations for today

Rejections, career thoughts and a literary sex-fest

Was rather sent reeling by a rejection by the last publisher I'd sent my poetry chapbook, Salt and Gold, to yesterday. I don't know why - I'd fully expected to be rejected, as my poetry collections always are. So I don't know why I was so horribly upset but I was. God knows why I even bother thinking of commercial publication for my poetry anyway. I mean they only sell out when I'm paying the money raised to charity, as in my first collection, Tidal. My second collection, A Stranger's Table, sold the grand total of eleven copies and the rest I gave away to friends as presents. One writing friend (so really there's no excuse and I'd never dream of doing this, ever ...) even said she'd buy a copy and give me the money later, and then after a couple of days she returned it, saying she'd read it, had thoroughly enjoyed the collection but she'd finished with it now and didn't need to pay. Lordy, no wonder I actually have very little confidence, no matter how much I walk the walk. As it were. But really, I should have learnt my lesson from all that. I think what I'll do from now on is simply self-publish my poetry collections online, and then people can ignore them or read them as they fancy. Without me having to put myself through the mill like this. It's not pleasant, believe me.

All this trying to find a way through the poetry minefield has reminded me that I started writing fiction in 2000, and said then that I'd give it ten years of trying to find a commercial publisher before having a very big rethink of the attempt at a writing vocation I've been trying to follow. Well, it's 2010 next year, and maybe I have to start preparing myself to tackle that rethink. Not that I haven't found a commercial publisher - I have. Three times. Four if you count the eBooks. But none of my previous publication "successes" have actually been at all successful. By any measure. Yes, several people do enjoy what I produce - and I'm hugely grateful to them for that. But I've never made any money from A Dangerous Man at all, Maloney's Law is selling very poorly and a couple of key gay reviewers have really disliked it which I don't think has helped, and the eBooks of Pink Champagne and Apple Juice and Thorn in the Flesh are also selling poorly. Or, more truthfully, not selling at all.

I do have the upcoming release of The Bones of Summer in June, but I'm trying not to be too hopeful about it as previous experience tells me that - for whatever reason, and to be honest I don't know what that reason is - I'm not as popular a writer as other gay fiction authors, and I simply can't keep up with their sales or readership levels. Meanwhile, there continues to be no news on the sale or otherwise of The Gifting. For that book, I plan to send it out one more time only over the summer, to a small publisher. If that fails, for my own sanity (not to mention Lord H's), I need to draw a line under it, self-publish it, if only for my own sense of completion, and then move on. As and when that scenario occurs, I also believe it to be time to part company from my agent - I simply can't take the agonised half-hope that by default having an agent brings, alongside the terrible sense of gloom when reality sets in.

With all that in mind, last night I went through my list of favourite websites and blogs of successful writers I keep on my system and deleted those who I don't think are doing or will do me any good, or who are making me feel even more despairing about the writing life (through, I hasten to add, no fault of their own) than I need to be. So if anyone out there discovers they've lost a blog follower, I apologise in advance if it's me, wish you all good luck in your career but I suspect you don't need the support as much as I need the space.

Anyway. Enough. To today. I had a lovely lie-in and didn't get up till 8.30am. Which is an extra two hours snoozing, hurrah. I then added some more words to that key battle scene in Hallsfoot's Battle, which brings me to the higher echelons of 116,000 words. I have a rough idea as to how the rest of the scene will go until the final victory arrives, but I'll take it slowly and see how it pans out. Oh, and here's this morning's meditation:

Meditation 122

What is lost
can a second time
be remade.

Damaged stone
can be recut
and vanished words

rewritten.
All through everything
you have done

or failed to do –
the tears at night
and the dim courage

of dawn,
God has never
ceased to listen.

Which somehow, bearing in mind the day's thoughts, probably makes sense. Of some kind or other. This afternoon, I popped up to the hospital as the neighbour isn't too good at the moment and had another chat with Gisela who was also there. Poor Henry though - I have a feeling he was rather overwhelmed by the amount of chat and general noise G and I can produce, but hell that's Surrey Gals for you, eh! I also took the opportunity to visit Tesco's next door to the hospital on the way out and bought lasagne and garlic bread and birdseed. Well, you have to keep those essentials in stock always, you know. It's astonishing I didn't buy chocolate really, but in my defence we do seem to have vast quantities of chocolate in the flat right now.

Tonight, I'm hoping to get round to watching my video of Boy Meets Girl, then there's Ashes to Ashes and I absolutely must video Compulsion, the bonkbuster sex-fest with Ray Winstone that's on the other side. Lordy I can't miss that. I would say it's because it's an update of that wonderful Jacobean tragedy, The Changeling, which is so utterly my period, dahlings. But that would be lying - hell, it's got sex in it. What more could you want??

Today's nice things:

1. Taking steps to alleviate pain
2. A lie in
3. Writing Hallsfoot
4. Poetry
5. TV.

Anne Brooke
Race for Life - supporting Cancer Research

Eyes, books and boilers

Had an interesting email (at least in terms of the wider literary scene) from the agent today - who says that apparently publishers are now taking much longer to respond to submissions (even agent submissions) than ever before and that even the New York agents are noticing the change. So it appears that The Gifting is not particularly unusual in having been out for six months with no feedback - as it's now the case that up to a year is rapidly becoming the norm. So, in my case, they probably haven't even got round to opening the envelope yet. Hell, they must be busy and - in this current economic climate - reluctant to open anything at all which might cost money. Hey ho. But at least I am not alone then. And hey I can write another novel in a year - though not a fantasy novel! There's a silver lining to every proverbial, eh ...

Oh, and talking of books, a lovely Goodreads reader has given Maloney's Law a five-star rating, double hurrahs and crack open the champagne! Of such unexpected pleasures is a writer's life made, I can tell you ... Thank you, Shannon.

Other good news today is that the Yvonne Arnaud Theatre have accepted our sponsorship of seats A13 and A14 in the circle (where we almost always sit indeed) for three years, which means that our names will be carved on the back of them, hurrah. So at last I have managed to get my name on a plaque - something I've been longing to do for years! And yes I know that people will be sitting on us (as it were), but it's the best I can do ... So, if you want to know what Lord H's real name is (and no, we don't share the same surname either), you'll have to get yourself down to Guildford and stare at the theatre seats. We will sit on them for the next three years with pride.

Anyway, this morning I've had my regular annual eyetest and - yes, it's finally come upon me, I fear - I'm now of the age where I must wear variefocals. The ultimate in professional glamour, of course. The optician and I were hoping to get away with another year before I'd need them, but my eyes have other ideas, dammit. So I have chosen a suitably glitzy frame (ho ho) and will wait to see what turns up in two weeks - though I suspect that now it won't be till after Christmas. It should at least save me from having to carry round my reading/computer pair and my driving/TV pair together all the time.

This afternoon, I've had my 9th session of physio and things are looking pretty good on that front. I've booked my last appointment the Thursday after my holiday and hopefully that will be it. Helen the physio is a definite miracle worker. In the middle of all this excitement, I've added another 1000 words to Hallsfoot's Battle, which brings me to 63,000 in total. I've got some major ideas for the scenes involving Simon and the mind-executioner too - which will I hope kick all expectations into touch, including mine. We'll see.

I've also finished Fiona Robyn's poetry collection, Small Stones: a Year of Moments. It took me a while to get into it as you do really need to slow down and chill - the collection is a series of short pieces taking you through the months focusing on one particular moment at a time. If you see what I mean. Some of the pieces I thought were stunning and very humane, as well as being utterly perfect in their length - but I do think that others needed to be longer and it was, in their cases, an opportunity missed. Well worth a read though for sure. The woman can certainly write.

Talking of writing, here's this morning's meditation poem:

Meditation 17

Carve
a special day

out of the lunacy
of the working week.

Give yourself
what the world refuses you:

time to rest,
time to think,

time to breathe.


Tonight, the gas man is coming (hurrah!) and Lord H & I will look at what boiler and new system options we want to keep us warm through the rest of the winter. Lordy, we just need something that works! And as quickly as possible, dammit.

Today's nice things:

1. New glasses
2. Theatre seats
3. The Gifting maybe not being such a sad case after all ...
4. Maloney's Law five-star Goodreads rating
5. Hallsfoot ideas
6. Books
7. Poetry
8. The possibility of warmth to come.

Anne Brooke
Anne's website - perhaps not as hopeless as originally thought ...

Writers and Meetings City

Carried on typing up yesterday’s minutes this morning and attempting to sort out the teething troubles on my new computer, ie no printing facilities, emails that go through copious spellchecks before being sent and my missing screensaves. After all, how am I supposed to get through the day without seeing the front covers of all my books drifting before my eyes??... I can’t survive without at least some ego massage, you know.

Anyway, this lunchtime, I have had the University Writers Group – very enjoyable as always. I think it’s best if I take my calming pills beforehand though, not being a natural leader. And I have stolen an idea from the adorable Nik Perring for the homework, so thanks for that, Nik!

This afternoon, I have minuted the Nursery Management Group, even though most people didn’t seem to be there. Which means we’ve had a heck of a lot of biscuits to eat up. Ah it’s a tough job, but someone’s got to do it. I brought back a secret supply of them for the office and have already demolished the chocolate chip cookie option. Mmm …

And tonight, to crown my Meetings Extravaganza Day, I will be minuting the Goldenford meeting. Upcoming Goldenford things to look forward to: the event in Woking Library on 28 May, the talk in Freiburg in Germany on 12 June and our stall at the Writers Conference at the end of June. Ye gods, it’s all go over the summer! It’s astonishing we have time to write books at all.

Ooh, and I’m interested to see that, following the agent’s submission of The Gifting to the Powers That Be yesterday, Penguin in the States have been looking at my website. In shock and amazement, no doubt. However, the balance of the writing universe requires that for one vaguely hopeful thing offered, another crueller one is given. And so I am not entirely surprised to see that the latest critique of Thorn in the Flesh on the as yet unenterable Authonomy site seriously doesn't like it. Hey ho. Mind you, I'm always rather chuffed to be called "muddled, fragmented and confusing". Dahlings, it's so me!

Today’s nice things:

1. University Writers Group
2. Goldenford
3. Putting the words “Penguin” and “looking at my website” in the same sentence – heck, I’m all for (very) short-lived bursts of hope and glory!

Anne Brooke
Anne's website
Goldenford Publishers

The Gifting, web adventures, and just how big is my nose!...

A little bit of good news today when my agent emailed me to say that he thought the second draft of The Gifting was a lot better than the first, hurrah! He’s promised to be in touch with me later in the week, after the wild traumas of the London Book Fair, so I shall gird myself for more edits to come. No doubt.

This morning, I’ve spent vast swathes of time sorting through the meetings for the coming year, and they’re all slowly slotting into place, like some kind of giant and very alien jigsaw. Still one or two pieces that are floating in the ether though … And I’m back to typing the boss’s changes to various sets of minutes and publicity, so the schedules are filling up, ho ho. Ooh, and I’ve signed an educational online petition and had a confirming email from 10 Downing Street – how very exciting! At last I am mixing with the Great and the Good – if only virtually …

Still, in spite of all the excitement, I had time for a leisurely coffee with Sally at lunchtime and caught up with what’s going on in our lives, not to mention planning the Health Centre Fayre on Wednesday. It’s all done by smoke and mirrors. Honest.

This afternoon, I have attempted to update the name of our Student Advice website and ended up ditching the entire thing. There were a few minutes of utter, throat-constricting panic before the Blessed Aileen (May Her Name Be Praised) of IT resurrected it for me. Such a relief. Thank you a thousand times, Aileen. So I can now cancel my one-way ticket to Borneo. Apparently, this is a University First and no-one in Aileen’s years of service has ever attempted to do it before. Glad I still have the capacity for surprise then. And, hey, at least they can always rely on me to attempt the impossible with only a gung-ho smile and a cheese sandwich for company.

Oh, and dammit but we’re back to semester hours, so no 5pm finish tonight. Ah, that last half-hour is a desert of time indeed. Groan.

Tonight I’ll put on my flak jacket and go and see Gladys. I’m hoping we’ll both survive the experience. Once I’m safely back home, I’m planning to pluck out a few more lines from my dwindling Pot of Inspiration to add to The Bones of Summer. Possibly. And I absolutely must watch the last episode of “The Fixer”. They’d better do a new series – and soon!

And, last but not least, and rather scarily, I appear to have made it to Page 44 of the Winchester Writers’ Conference PDF guide, which you can find here. Thanks for the tip-off, Denise. Heck, but just how big is that nose of mine! I blame my grandfather for it all. And yes, Goldenford will be there this year so do come and visit us. Even better, buy a novel! I’ll be there on the Friday only, so book early to avoid disappointment …

Today’s nice things:

1. John liking The Gifting more
2. Coffee with Sally
3. TV.

Anne Brooke
Anne's website
Goldenford Publishers

Running to keep up

All hands to the proverbial today as shed-loads of gubbins hit my desk in the last week before my holiday. Bloody hell, isn’t it always the way? It was just one thing after another – actually, no, that might have been nice. It was just the fact that everything came at once which was sending my blood pressure soaring. Big time.

First of all, we’ve decided to create four different groups out of two, so there was a lot of rejigging meetings, putting others on hold, cancelling people and resurrecting them (ah, the power I have here in the workplace, m’dears …). Plus I had to collate information from one set of minutes and put it into another, with a different focus. Joy abounding, eh! Plus I needed to arrange a computer workstation assessment for a new staff member, factor in the sudden realisation that I’m on an all-day training course tomorrow so have even less time than I originally thought of, attempt to look like a normal member of the office whose head isn’t completely in her novel edit, oh and remember to breathe too.

Phew!

Add to that the fact that my home email has broken and I have missed several important emails since last Wednesday at least, possibly before, and BT don’t seem to want to sort it out (damn them!) – so I am having to deal with some stuff at my work email or hack into my old address, groan. Oh, and my reading glasses broke last night – I was staring at the computer trying to do some PR for Thorn in the Flesh when the frame around my left eye suddenly snapped and the lens fell out. Luckily the rather sharp end of the frame which remained didn’t go into my eye itself. Honestly, you pay all this money and all you get is crap. At least the optician will mend them for free – they ruddy well ought to! So, for a while, I am back to being blurred. Sigh.

Mind you, the good news is that John re-sent me his response to part one of The Gifting as it was one of the emails I hadn’t received – and he appears to like it a lot better now. Double phew! So I shall trudge on with the edit and attempt to get it finished and to him by March. That being the case, I shall – as far as I can – be cancelling as many engagements as possible this week in order to get as much done before our holiday. February might well turn out to be just as busy as January was! And there was I thinking I might be able to ease off a little. Ah well.

Oh, and I really really needed my reflexology session at lunchtime – I felt about 80% more unwired afterwards, and believe me I was pretty wired up when I went in! Emily is a miracle-worker.

And bloody hell but I have to do the shopping tonight. Damn it!

Today’s nice things:

1. Reflexology
2. John liking the initial stages of The Gifting rewrite
3. Editing.

Anne Brooke
Anne's website
Goldenford Publishers

A lovely surprise and some confident decisions

The post arrived this morning and contained two lovely surprises, hurrah! The first being a packet filled with sweets, chocolates and pens from PD Publishing and a note saying it was a late Christmas gift wishing me all the best for the year. Thank you very much indeed, Linda & Barb - a lovely thought! And it's really cheered me up - hey, I must be a real writer; my publisher buys me gifts ... A lesson also in how to get the best out of your writer which I suspect both Flame and my agent might do well to learn from ... Because I now feel very much that PD are working with me, rather than against or at me, and I'm all fired up to give them the best book I possibly can. What better writer management can there be?

The other nice package in the post was the Open Day form from Glyndebourne, which we have now filled in and posted straight back. We even get to do a singing option from "Carmen", double hurrah! Already, I am reaching for the cigarettes and attempting to look sultry, ho ho.

And I've made a few confident decisions about The Gifting - which I honestly think have been encouraged purely by today's chocolates surprise. I would never have had the confidence for this otherwise, I can tell you.

Firstly, I have edited John's report on it and removed the sarcastic comments, irrelevant details and hurtful - rather than helpful - remarks. I have also added in one or two supportive and encouraging phrases at the end which I believe he, as an agent, should have included. Nothing too over-the-top - I'm not a fool - but just enough to give a decent writer (ie me) the chance to regroup and tackle the mountain. Interestingly, what I found myself left with when I'd completed this assignment was a fairly exciting (and of course challenging) set of steps to take to make the novel into what I believe it could be. It makes me want to do it. It gives me the tools to do so.

The fact does remain however that I shouldn't have had to take this step to get to a good working report. I should simply have had a good working report sent to me, by my agent, without the need for this stage in the process. In the edits I do for others, both at Goldenford and Mighty Erudite Press, I like to think I produce good working reports that people can use to change things and I give the necessary encouragement that will allow them where necessary to improve their novels or poetry collections without falling into despair. That is what I believe my job to be. That is what I understand by professionalism. Naturally, I'm only human and there are times I fall short of that standard - for which I'm sorry - but it's the approach to editing I try to offer and the one I expect in return.

That done, I have sent the revised report back to John, asking him to check that he approves of the content and if he wishes anything else to be added. I've also asked for facts, communicated in a reasonable fashion, that I can work with, rather than "digs" I can't. After all, I've had more than enough of undermining sarcasm from my previous agent (She Who Must Remain Nameless ...) and I don't wish to go through that experience again. As John seems, in all other respects, to be a nice human being who's thought of as being a genuine "Good Egg", I'm hoping this is just a one-off, as I do think that in the not-too-distant future we can still do decent business together. I work best if the stick is laid down and the carrot positioned just out of reach. And, hey, sending me some chocolates is bloody good too!

For the remainder of today, I have therefore been working on The Gifting. I have rewritten the prologue, lengthening it and adding within it a hell of a lot more action and tension. I have also begun (a) writing scenes for two other major voices to broaden the focus, (b) turning Simon from a 1st person voice to a 3rd person voice and balancing his scenes with the others, (c) upping the plot twists, (d) considering further characters for the journey and (e) dramatically increasing the number of direct battle scenes. Bloody hell, I think that's enough to be getting on with, don't you?

So tonight, I'm planning to watch the video of last week's "Sense and Sensibility" before Part Three comes upon me tomorrow. And naturally, I will be glued to "Primeval" with no interruptions allowed. There's nothing like dino-bunnies to get you going on a Saturday night.

Today's nice things:

1. Gifts from PD Publishing
2. Feeling confident enough to turn an unhelpful encounter into something I believe I can work with and, I hope, stating my case firmly but fairly
3. TV - as ever!

Anne Brooke
Anne's website
Goldenford Publishers

Wonderful new website!

Bloody hell, but my new website has actually gone live. Sound the trumpets and begin general huzzahing!! You can see it here. I’d be delighted if you felt able to pop in and leave me a message via the contact form! And while you’re there don’t forget to admire Lord H’s stunning nature photography, which appears with some of the poems and on pages of novels with no front cover. Yet. So huge thanks to Lord H for designing and inputting it all – though I did work out how to do changes towards the end of the process, you’ll be relieved to hear … - and a thank you to Zen too for finally getting it live. (Of UK Hosts, we will of course say no more).

This very exciting news has also come at the right time as it’s stopped me mulling over the horrors of the first Monday of the year – Mondays are bad enough without having a whole year-full of them to look forward to after all. To cap it all, I was late in – no excuses; I simply couldn’t get myself organised to leave the flat on time. But this morning I have been making up for this cardinal sin by clearing out my emails and preparing more papers for the glut of January meetings ahead.

At lunch, I popped into see Gladys in hospital – she’s looking physically better, thank goodness, but still very confused and unhappy – old age is a terrible thing when you’re ill. Or maybe it's just a terrible thing full-stop. Sigh. And I shall no doubt spend this afternoon getting twitchy about what changes John will be asking me to do to The Gifting.

UPDATE on this: actually he hated it. And I have to say he didn't say it in a particularly pleasant way either. Though bizarrely for the first time ever, I don't mind on either count. Perhaps my writerly confidence is somehow growing after all?? Oo-err, missus! His main complaints were that it's not commercial enough, he doesn't like the MC (well, I didn't write it for him, to be honest, so I'm not terribly traumatised by that) and it's too romantic. Um, I feel - if I dare say it! - that the proverbial plot has been well and truly missed, as I've never been commercial. That is the whole point of me and my stuff!! I am not commercial. I don't write sympathetic men and there's nowt wrong with romance either. Still, it's not an entirely unhelpful critique, as he has at least made some suggestions for improving other aspects, which I am happy to do, and he did admit it was well-written. But it's a relief that this time I'll be able to have responsibility for The Gifting myself, whether it ends up self-published or taken on by a small publisher - I feel more at ease that way, to be honest. And the other good thing is that it takes away the hanging deadline of having to get it back to him for further mauling, ho ho! It took him long enough the first time round really, hush my mouth ... Ooh, isn't it time to mention my new website again? – it's here - still!

Tonight, I am trudging round Tesco’s stocking up on supplies – I swear that there is absolutely no food in the flat. How did that happen??? I have obviously taken my eye off the domestic ball and am hereby (hereby? hereby??) reaping the whirlwind. My, how I love a cliché glut – it does so cleanse the system. And (did I mention my new website? Ah yes, I thought so …) I have sent flowers to Lord H at work today to thank him for all the slog he’s put into designing and setting the site up. So I hope they arrive before he leaves! You can usually rely on Interflora, mind you. UPDATE - they did, hurrah!

Tonight, I’m planning to smile in a sad obsessive person way at the website (in case you’ve forgotten it by now) and maybe watch some TV. Possibly. If there’s time ...

And I've just finished reading J Philip Newell's Echo of the Soul. It was something of a trudge really. I think it could have been cut by at least half - maybe I'm just not spiritual enough but it did feel as if he were saying the same things over and over again until my brain seized up. And, though I surprised myself for thinking this, the constant quoting of poetry didn't help - it just didn't fit the points being made. Or perhaps it was all too deep for me??

Today’s nice things:

1. Hey, guess!!
2. Feeling strangely relieved that I can now deal with The Gifting myself
3. Lord H!

Anne Brooke
My wonderful new website - here!
Goldenford Publishers

The mythical hoopoe and the other route home

Managed to act like normal citizens of Surrey today and actually went to the Epiphany service at Shackleford. Which had rather more people than usual due to the terribly unfortunate incident of the sister church in Peper Harow experiencing a rather large fire on Christmas Eve. They're apparently looking for people who left quickly after the Carol Service on the Sunday. Um, that would be Lord H and myself then ... We're hoping that Shackleford Church isn't a shadow of its former self by this time tomorrow, or we may indeed have to flee the country. You heard it here first.

That said, I am actually quite sad about Peper Harow Church. It's a lovely old building, but it's going to take about two years to get it back to anything like it was before. Such a shame, whether or not one is religious - these buildings are part of our culture and history, more than anything. Still, there is a part of me that's keeping a distance from the whole thing; I really don't want to get involved in the way I was before.

Anyway, back to the Epiphany service at Shackleford - which was very enjoyable indeed. Once I'd found the right pitch, I was fine from the second hymn onwards. But I missed my note in the first hymn and after that, m'dears, there's really no hope of finding it again until the next attempt. In that respect, my hymn singing is much like my parking abilities; if I fail first time, I simply must move on. If only for the sake of those around me. The sermon wasn't bad either - the vicar took the story of the wise men returning home "by another route" and made it a plea for us all to be prepared to be changed by our experiences and be more open to what they might be trying to tell us. Wise words, I thought.

And taking them at face value, Lord H and I did indeed return home by another route, though more in the practical than the spiritual sense; we had a quick detour to Alton in search of the mythical hoopoe which is currently living there, hoping that at Epiphany it might manifest itself at last. Ho ho. It didn't. Though we did find a fair amount of weeping birdwatchers peering hopefully through bushes and groaning. And there were some nice chaffinches, blue tits, great tits, coal tits and some lapwings. But my attempts to point these lesser birds out to the general populace didn't go down too well with the hoopoe-obsessed brigade. I fear I may well wake tonight with a lapwing head on my pillow. Still, at least it'll save making breakfast.

For the rest of the day, I've been editing Luther's Ambassadors for Goldenford. Some great twists and links in there - I really love it. If you're a fan of the historical novel (with just a breath of fantasy), then don't miss out. It's a gem.

Tonight, I shall ring Mother and attempt to sound normal. After which, I'm planning to video "Sense & Sensibility Part Two" and watch "Foyle's War" on TV with Lord H. Ideal Sunday viewing really.

Oh, and I've actually been contacted again by my agent telling me that he's hoping to get the edits of The Gifting to me sometime tomorrow. Tomorrow! Ye gods! What the hell do I do now?? I've been waiting for it for so long (since August - though to be fair the poor chap has been sick) that I think somewhere within I've actually discounted the whole thing. I can't even remember what the ruddy book is about now. It's almost as if I never wrote it at all, sigh. I'm also suffering from the inevitable Writers' Panic at the fact that the agent has called it "enjoyable" and "interesting", but nothing more. Which, to me, equates roughly to "bland" and "oh God, what word can I dredge up to make my client feel better without causing her to jump off the nearest cliff?" I fear the worst, people. Perhaps I should rewrite my 125,000 words of gay fantasy into a nice snippy little romantic comedy? Or even a haiku? Further deep sighing, not unmixed with a few panicky tears ...

Talking of haikus, this week's effort(recycled from yesterday's blog but, hey, nobody's perfect ...):

Farlington Marshes:
Salt spices my tongue;
the cry of wild birds, keening;
The smell of the sea.


Today's nice things:

1. Church - unusually
2. Not seeing a hoopoe - hell it was fun even to get out
3. Haikus - even if they come from novels ...

Anne Brooke
Some website or other - hell, who knows ...
Goldenford Publishers

Reflexology, Amazon mysteries and tackling Christmas

Spent the morning catching up with emails and organising meetings on top of the meetings that have already been organised. Just in case there aren’t enough. All this is made more exciting by the new system for booking catering – which has snuck up on us without trumpeting its approach. Instead of the usual email, there’s a lovely new form where you have to try to remember project codes without being prompted. A challenge too far for a Monday really, but I think I sussed it. In the end. I’ll know if I’ve done it right by whether food actually turns up on the day or not. My, how I like to live dangerously – I now have visions of starving academics weeping over empty plates.

And the new Starbucks is finally open! I haven’t tried it out yet, but will have to see if I can squeeze into the enormous queues sometime this week. Ruth is shocked that I would opt for a decaff – but, ye gods, I’m hyper enough without needing help. Can you imagine what I’d be like with caff??

I’ve also posted the requested copy of The Hit List to Jill Weekes so hope that gets to you okay, Jill. Thanks again for asking about it!

Had my reflexology session at lunchtime – wonderful, as ever. I won’t be able to go again for three weeks, so I’d better try and make the temporary sense of calm last. Talking of temporary feelings, the Monday morning sense of existential dread was particularly fierce today, but seemed to ease off at around 11am, thank goodness, rather than the usual high noon. Hmm, is it my hormones?? It’s a mystery …

Another great mystery is why Amazon have started describing all Goldenford and indeed all my books as being out of stock. Sigh. Just when I was hoping we might sell a few too. I’ve queried it with them but don’t expect an answer this side of the New Year. My advice is if you’d like a Goldenford book (and really what could be nicer …?!), click here and if you want to find out more about A Dangerous Man, click here.

Tonight, I tackled the first of my Christmas shopping (well, apart from things for Lord H of course, who is a special case) at Tesco. Yes, I am that mean. Sorry. I don’t really like Christmas, so will try almost anything to add it to my usual routine shopping rather than making special trips. Anyway, Tesco are good for biscuits and sweets, so it will cut a swathe through the list, I hope. Mind you, I’m cutting down on present-buying this time as much as possible and trying not to send cards to people I haven’t seen or contacted for a year, as why bother if the relationship really isn’t there? Yes, I know – I’m going to have to say it: Bah! Humbug! Phew, thank goodness I’ve got that out of the way.

I’m also planning to do some more to The Bones of Summer if I get a chance this evening – now I have a plot in mind, for the next few pages at least, I don’t want to lose the buzz.

And here’s a poem:

Mondays

are a triangle:
I'm squeezed

tight

at one end,
scrabbling

for meaning
and a life.

The day launches me,
unwilling rocket, into the vast

unknowable expanses

of the working week, with the weekend
an unimaginable dream.


Well, that’s just how it is sometimes, you know …

And my agent has at last contacted me! Rejoicing indeed - though subdued rejoicing, as the poor chap isn't terribly well. Back problems have prevented him answering any emails - rather than a desperate desire to cut off all contact with yours truly. Or maybe it's both?? Anyway, I hope he gets better soon and, in the meantime, I shall attempt to stop panicking and acting like a complete nervous wreck (on the other hand, I am used to that ...) and resign myself to hearing nothing about anything this side of the New Year. Heck, I'm used to that too!

Today’s nice things:

1. Reflexology
2. Getting home
3. Writing.

Anne Brooke
Anne's website
Goldenford Publishers

Birds and dances

Lord H and I have spent a day at Pulborough Brooks on their Beginners' Birdwatching course today. Well worth it - especially for the tips on field craft and quick lesson in birdspeak. I've learnt not to rush up to open fields yelling where are the birds then? Don't they know I'm here? and to hide behind things to watch, rather than standing in a clearing and jumping up and down whilst yelling ooh look a bird! I'm just so excitable, you know.

I've also learnt that a stringer is someone who's not sure about a bird identification and a pegger is a peregrine falcon. There you go then! It's a whole new world out there really ... The afternoon walk was good too - birds spotted: a pegger (see above - and utterly fabulous), a redstart and a flock of redwing. And Lord H thought he saw a fieldfare, but I missed it and he was fairly stringy about it (also see above!).

And, as ever, lunch was great and the cafe there has to produce the best apple pie and custard I've ever tasted. I'm torn now between having my ashes scattered at the cake counter in John Lewis, Kingston or having them scattered over the apple pie at Pulborough Brooks. I've achieved Nirvana in both places. Ah, decisions, decisions.

Tonight, I've just finished watching "Strictly Come Dancing". Poor Kate - I thought she did well and deserved better. Alesha was fantastic and did the best dance this series, but I still voted for Letitia, as how can you not love Letitia? She's wonderful.

And still no word from the agent. Alas, I fear I am soon for the chop. Is it just like the teenage years all over again, when a nice boy dumps you but doesn't let you know? I dread to think ...

Today's nice things:

1. Pulborough Brooks
2. Apple pie
3. Strictly Come Dancing.

Anne Brooke
Anne's website
Goldenford Publishers

Books, calendars and editing

Busy morning today – rushed around doing lots of glorious copy-typing (I really do love it – you can take the girl out of the typing pool, but you can’t take the typing pool out of the girl …) and hardly noticed when the Magical Monday Time of 12noon appeared. Astonishing! I also discovered that the boss’s wife has much better handwriting than the boss, and so documents she’s commented on are far easier to read. I did suggest that he might like to think of dictating his thoughts to the wife (a la Milton dictating to his daughter) so I could understand them in the future, but I’m not sure that suggestion will be taken up. Thank goodness I’m the right side of review time, eh!

Meanwhile, Ruth is having strange dreams about gutting fish on a fish farm. Does this say something about our student care approach? The mind indeed boggles … Anyway, lunchtime found me at the usual weekly reflexology session – what would I do without them? It makes everything worthwhile, you know. And I’m also starting to look at a venue for the Thorn in the Flesh book launch, which I’m hoping will take place in February/March 2008. I’m quite keen on the Godalming Museum, as the book is set in Godalming, and it’s friendlier than the Godalming Borough Hall though not as large. We’ll see. I may yet end up back at the Guildford Institute. At the same time, I’m working out what my Thorn dedication and acknowledgements should be. I always like to have them. Lord knows I need all the help I can get – novel-writing is a funny old business.

Oh and I’ve found the ideal Christmas present for Mother – the Men doing the Housework (with very little on …) calendar here. Mmm, maybe I’ll get one for me too. Mind you, I’ll have to get her and my stepfather the Farmers and Lady Farmers naked calendars as well – they always look through to see if they spot someone they know … And what could be better than supporting the British Farmer - they're a needy beast (I should know - I'm a British farmer's daughter and stepdaughter!) so buy early, buy often! And talking of Christmas, if you're looking for a book, my advice is to get yourself to the website of the best small publisher in the south and pick whatever takes your fancy. There's loads of choice - it's cheaper than going through Amazon, there's something for everyone and heck it'll put a smile on my face at Christmas!

Tonight, I shall be editing more of Jackie’s novel and also – possibly – watching the Stephen Poliakoff drama on TV. And I hope to get back to some of my own novel writing later in the week – ho ho. If only I had any ideas. I’m really not sure where I’m going with The Bones of Summer, if anywhere, but I’d better think of something. And soon!

And whilst I’m on the subject of fish, here’s a poem:

Fisherwoman

Fish spin
on the knife
in your brain.

Their mirror eyes
stare back
as gills, guts,

blood slide
oozingly
to the floor.

You don't know
where they come from
or why they seem

so familiar
but their smell,
their history

clings to you
as they vanish
into the sea.


And alas I fear I've lost all contact with my agent. I can't even get him to reply to comments I put on his blog, poor chap. Even now he's probably fleeing the country, attempting to escape from my no-hope career. Ah well.

Today’s nice things:

1. Copy-typing
2. Reflexology
3. Poetry.

Anne Brooke
Anne's website
Goldenford - you know you want to ...

A glorious cycle of song

Sorry. Couldn't resist the title, even though it's taking the blessed Dorothy Parker out of context. Enjoyed last night's opera, even though I didn't feel at all well during it, especially the first half. Still, you can't really go wrong with a Britten - particularly all that yearning homoerotica which is basically a major part of his "The Turn of the Screw". Marvellous! And, my goodness, how that young boy (taller now by far than when I saw it last year of course) just has to trust the red-haired man during that bath & winter scene. Though - was it just me expecting it? - or did they not take it quite so far to the edge as they did before?... Still, just goes to show: never trust a red-head. They're a peculiar people.

Am feeling rather better today however - thank the Lord! Though still snorting like an old horse. Lord H has gone shopping for some Tunes or Fisherman's Friends (oo-err, missus) in case I need them this afternoon ...

.... when we're off (again!) to our last Glyndebourne of the season - the St Matthew Passion. Just the thing for a Sunday then - and at least I don't have to worry about the plot. Talking of plot, it does amuse me when - as yesterday - the cast of an opera are singing in English and yet they still put sur-titles up. Don't they trust us to listen? On the other hand, some of the poetry in yesterday's libretto is stunning, so always good to have a glance upwards on occasion. Oh, and today we'll be eating in the Mildmay restaurant - so not quite the hired hands kudos that we had for carrying yesterday's picnic to our spot of choice and setting up for us. And God but he was seriously cute! Glyndebourne must have decided to hire them dark and more-ish and with sexy foreign accents this year. Mmm, lovely. Perhaps next year we'll plan more picnics ...

Oh, and other exciting news - John tells me that he's sent the signed contract for Maloney's Law back to PD Publishing so it looks like we're getting there - slowly but surely! I think I see a light at the end of the tunnel, Carruthers! Let's hope it's not an oncoming train.

This week's haiku:

August

is for poetry.
I can't possibly do plot
until the autumn.


Hell, that's my excuse anyway.

Today's nice things:

1. Glyndebourne
2. Feeling a little more normal (though still v. tired)
3. No work tomorrow - hurrah for bank holidays!

Anne Brooke
Anne's website

Golf and a request for The Gifting

Good grief - miracles will never cease! I've just got back my Highly Commended certificate for The Gifting in the Annual Writers' Conference novel competition - and it includes a request from Piatkus Press for the first three chapters and synopsis. They apparently really liked Simon and the plot. The two things TLC hated then ... An interesting request indeed, and I didn't even think Piatkus did fantasy - let alone gay fantasy ...

So, having sent the rehashed MS to John Jarrold yesterday, I now have to follow it up today with a request for a partial to be sent out. Heck, at the very least it looks impressive. Plus I'll need to rejig my synopsis - which I've cunningly made look smaller by means of choosing a smaller font and using one-and-a-half linespacing instead of double. Deceit: thy name is woman. I'm getting Lord H to check it through to see if it makes sense in terms of the action, and then I'll send it to John later on. All things being equal.

And yes, I very much doubt Piatkus will take it, but hey I'd be an idjit not to try.

Golf with Marian and Siegi was fun, if hot. Some of our shots were spectacular - both good and bad - but that's the way the great game falls really. I didn't think we did too badly in the end.

Plus I've ordered a replacement mobile phone - which involved doing battle with O2 who refused to believe my workplace postcode (doesn't exist on their records apparently) to the extent that I gave up trying to persuade them that I do actually know where I work and told them to deliver to Lord H's work instead. It also amused me that the man I spoke to asked me to verify what the code on my account was, and when I told him I didn't have one, agreed that I was perfectly correct in saying that. Well, why bother asking me for something which doesn't exist then?? Sigh!...

This evening, I have done the extra poetry editing on Martin Burke's "Jerusalem" for Jools at Mighty Erudite Publishers and sent that off to her, so I hope it looks okay. Plus Lord H and I are attempting to make preparations for tomorrow's Glyndebourne visit. Best get my glad rags out then and pull that stomach in!

Oh, and I have made the decision to ask Authors Online to take my first novel, The Hit List, out of publication now, as it's ancient history, nobody's buying and, frankly, I have better things on the market to offer. It'll save the holding fee for this year then.

Today's nice things:

1. Getting the request from Piatkus
2. Ordering a new mobile phone
3. Golf.

Anne Brooke
Anne's website

Saving the universe ...

... with only a smile, a golf ball and a reasonable typing speed. But, Lordy Lordy, what a hell of a lot I've done or experienced(!) today. I've:

1. Finished (just now) the editing of The Gifting and sent it off by email to John Jarrold for his (possible) delectation. And, hell, but I don't think it's as crap as everyone makes it out to be. Bollocks to the critics, I say.

2. Played (extremely bad) golf with a merry laugh and a bright smile. I hope to God my next game (tomorrow) is a damn sight better though.

3. Shopped in Godalming, an outing which included buying bread and butter for tomorrow's golf lunch, lightbulbs (we are living in semi-darkness at the moment), the local paper (which has a 5 page spread of the Foot & Mouth crisis, together with an advert for a local country fair ... hmm, I think not, people), the Radio Times (don't bother - there's sod all on), herbal teas and a prescription update for my essential nasal spray (breathe, woman, breathe!). Amongst other things. I also booked a table for a gals' night out meal on Monday for approximately the right time - hurrah!

4. Visited Gladys - who was very low, and therefore glad for my loud voice and bad jokes. It takes her out of herself, you know. And at least, with me around, she doesn't need her hearing aid quite so much. Good to know my vocal foghorn comes in handy at times.

5. Heard from agent (see above) who tells me that the contract from PD Publishing has arrived - hurrah! - and he is sending it on to me for signing.

6. Heard (again) from agent, telling me that Hodder have rejected Thorn in the Flesh as they say the writing is not rich enough and there's too much padding. To steal someone else's line: please pass me the pitchfork and I shall stab myself here and now. And there was I thinking I was doing subtle, sparse and modern, Ah bollocks to it, eh.

7. Offered Thorn to Flame Books, who emailed back immediately to say that they weren't doing more crime for a while. Ah, I think they're slowly washing their hands of me, you know. I am very old news of course, in publishing terms (if you don't sell well within a month of publication these day, you are yesterday's girl, you know). But, surprisingly, I find myself quite pleased about this, and so I have ...

8. Asked Jennifer & the gang at Goldenford Publishers if they want to take it instead. After all, it's set in Godalming, so at least has local colour in it, plus the July 2006 London bombings. Here's hoping, anyway.

9. Done the cleaning.

10. Cooked pizza and garlic bread for dinner (eating? You think I have time??)

11. Solved world poverty.

12. Fed the hungry.

13. Healed the sick.

14. And raised the dead.

Sorry I haven't yet solved the Foot & Mouth, or Legionnaire's crises we're currently having around here, but heck I've been busy! Oh, and I've been shortlisted in the Writers' News retirement poem competition as well - just forgot to slide that one into the list!

Today's nice things:

1. Finishing the rewrite
2. Golf
3. The poetry shortlisting.

Anne Brooke
Anne's website

Reflexology, holidays and Goldenford

A busy morning today sorting out the emails from last week. The nearer we get to the new term in September, the more queries arise – understandably. Not to mention the Freshers’ Week Student Care Services presentations which I’m in charge of organising. A true exercise in logistics, that is. It’s all done by smoke and mirrors, you know. Arrgghh!!

But, joy of joys – we’ve booked a few days away this weekend – hurrah!! Thanks to Lord H finishing his theology essay early (what a hero indeed), we can go and spend a few days in the south-west looking at birds and generally milling (I hope!) before Mother goes into hospital next week. I think we both deserve it for sure.

Had my usual reflexology appointment at lunchtime – it’s just sooo relaxing. I think I fell asleep several times, so must obviously have needed the nap time. One of the true highlights of my working day really.

Ooh, and Ruth is back, which is marvellous – how I’ve missed her – and is regaling us with tales of Botswana, hippos and canoeing. She’s the adventurous, derring-do type, you see. I’d be way too terrified for any of that … My idea of a holiday is wall-to-wall champagne at all times and decent chocolates left (in foil) on my pillow at night.

Other top work news – the blinds I broke have finally been replaced – obviously Ruth’s imminent return galvanised the workmen into action where my pleas went unheard … However, now the cords are at Ruth’s end of the window rather than mine – I am indeed entirely stripped of my office responsibilities and gutted to the core. The only good news is that I still have charge of the window pole, aha!

Today’s the day that my agent is negotiating the Maloney’s Law contract with PD Publishing so I’m hoping that goes well and everyone ends up being happy with what’s agreed. Um, including me. Funny how these things seem way out of my control, even though I’m the author. It’s the way of the world, I imagine. Though John has been very clear and helpful in going through the contract, I must say. And, actually, being a Secretary for so many years has at least taught me that my voice may well be the last listened to, tee hee!... Anyway, that said, good luck, John & PD – hope it’s a pleasant few conversations for you both.

And tonight, I’ve got a Goldenford meeting, so will minute that and hope to write up over the next couple of evenings before we’re away.

Today’s nice things:

1. Booking a long weekend away – hurrah!
2. Reflexology
3. Catching up with Goldenford.

Anne Brooke
Anne's website
Pink Champagne and Apple Juice
Goldenford Publishers

The Editing Queen

Have edited for Britain today. If this were an Olympic sport, I'd definitely go for gold. Have now gone through the whole of Thorn in the Flesh, and sent the repolished article off to John. Who is still in negotiation with PD Publishing about Maloney's Law. So many of my crossable extremities are crossed, that walking is becoming well nigh impossible, you know. A writer's life, eh ...

Due to all this uncustomary excitement, I missed the first of the Diocesan summer schools this morning, but to be honest I'm not that worried about it. There wasn't any counselling today either, as Kunu is busy and can't see me till next week. Actually a whole day in the flat has proved incredibly grounding. I can understand what hermits see in the lifestyle. And I've been able to have an utterly delicious afternoon nap - something that has been missing from my action-packed schedules for way too long.

I have also bravely killed a spider in the kitchen by dint of spraying it with half a ton of fly spray until it was literally on its last leg, and then gathering it up in a few large slices of kitchen towel whilst screaming, before putting it in the bin and spraying another few tons of fly spray after it for good measure. Goodness me, what a very long sentence, but I had to do the act all of a piece or I would have lost courage entirely. My daily supply of courage is, after all, exceptionally small.

This evening, I might well send off a poetry submission (even though I know I said I'd be going easy on these) as Phil Carradice, the poetry tutor at the Writers' Conference did seem keen that we should all send him something. So it would be silly not to. That's my excuse anyway.

I'm also intending to chill, watch last night's video of "Will and Grace" and generally not do a great deal. Though I may well have a beer. Bloody hell, I deserve it.

Oh, and there's more satisfactory news about Mother - who doesn't have to have any pre-operation treatment (hurrah!) and is going into hospital on 16 July for a week to ten days. Here's hoping she doesn't have to have any post-operation treatment done either. In the meantime, I'll have to stock up on my supply of grapes and rude novels to keep her mind off the cute young doctors, and get my visiting head on. Mind you, the shock of seeing me more than once in a three month period (never say this family is not regular ...) might well send her entirely over the edge. Sigh!

Today's nice things:

1. Finishing the Thorn edit
2. Dispensing death to the arachnid
3. Having an evening in - hurrah!

Anne Brooke
Anne's website
Pink Champagne and Apple Juice
Goldenford Publishers

The secret life of shops

Shops are strange places indeed. Lord H came home last night with a pack of kiwi fruit emblazoned with the legend “Wash Before Eating”. Well, I have yet to find anyone who actually eats the skin of a kiwi fruit, but there you go. Lord H thought they’d be better off adding a label saying “Open This End” for the hard of thinking. Could be useful for eggs too.

Waving goodbye to Lord H this morning was something of a shock actually. I’d said goodbye at the front door and then rushed to the bedroom window in the usual way to wave as he goes down the path but, instead of his tall figure and elegant charm, I saw a grey-haired, elderly figure limping along. Goodness me, I thought, Lord H has aged since I last set eyes on him – are we in a temporal anomaly here in downtown Godalming? Luckily, I recognised the neighbour just before ringing the Husband Shop to see if they have a newer model …

Managed to get some more synopsising/timelining done to The Gifting last night. Am now about to start Chapter Thirteen (of Seventeen) and, with about 100 pages to go, the end is surely in sight.

Oh, and at work I’ve finally met the wonderful and supremely efficient Helen from Catering – whom I have been emailing at least every five seconds for about two years now and who is actually only in the office opposite (though it’s a secure office so we can’t just walk in …). We are indeed already in the virtual society – in so many ways! Anyway, she’s just as lovely in real life, so great to meet you at last, Helen.

Being the end of term, there’s a big 3-day bash on at the Students’ Union, which is just next door to our offices, and the Estates guys are already preparing for it. This seems to involve caging us in completely, supposedly so that students can form an orderly queue to get into the Union, but my theory is that they’re trapping us inside the block so we’ll never be able to go to the loo again at all. Legs crossed, gals!...

Sneaked out at lunchtime to do some shopping – it’s the end of term this week so the car park is easier to get back into as the lecturers are beginning to flee to the hills, and it will save time this evening – when I’ll only have to get the chilled goods – as I want to crack on with The Gifting. That is, if I can stop Lord H from being a Super-Husband and secretly doing shopping when it’s not his week for doing it. Sigh! Not that we’re a super-regimented household of course – after all, I’ve long since discontinued the enforced dawn get-up time and the morning salute. I like to think of myself as a benign dictator. Ho ho …

Oh, and I’ve scribbled a poem:

Summer madness

I don’t do
beaches,
tanning
and certainly not bikinis –
perish the thought! –
and I’m not that partial
to lazy afternoons by the pool
or in the garden –
if we had one.

No.
Summer madness
will find me
scouring the shelves
for sun-cream,
hiding out under trees
or lurking indoors
until the autumn chill.

Oh to be blonde
or brunette and be free!
It’s different for redheads
you see.


And at last the office has found a use for the ball of string that Ruth ordered three years ago and which we’ve been teasing her about ever since – so more fool us then! The mentors will be using it today in their Fun Day for the races, so we have been silenced and Ruth is cultivating her Smug Look, aha!

I’ve also drafted a brief synopsis (more of an outline really …) for my next novel (assuming nobody wants The Gifting of course, as in that case, there’s little point in writing a sequel straight away) – working title: The Bones of Summer. As you can no doubt tell, it’s in the crime genre. Better give it to my agent (http://www.johnjarrold.co.uk) sometime then to see what he thinks. I’ve taken the basis of it from a short story I wrote last year – which is something I usually hate doing as I think short stories are what they are and shouldn’t be stretched into novels. But for this one, I’ve put the character into a different situation six years on and he’s also reacting with Paul Maloney from Maloney’s Law – so it a quasi-sequel … almost. Anyway, we’ll see.

I've just finished reading Martin Seligman's "Authentic Happiness". Hmm. Started off well enough but got very flabby in the middle, to my mind. And his quasi-theological ending lost me entirely. I think he might have needed a reality check pill there ... But at least I do now know what my key signature strengths are - love of learning, and humour apparently - so I must remember to use them every day to achieve quality of life. Ho ho. Somebody pass the encyclopedia ...

Tonight, I’ll be working my way through Simon’s life again and attempting to act like a normal human being. Is it just me, or do all writers get this obsessive need to complete when fiddling around at the end of a novel? Thank goodness it’s counselling tomorrow, eh? Heck, I obviously need it …

Today’s nice things:

1. Laughing at kiwi fruit
2. Realising that my husband hasn’t suddenly shapeshifted into a frail eighty-year-old
3. Sorting out The Gifting.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Of humility and excellence

Was working through the personal strength questions in my "Authentic Happiness" book this morning whilst on the exercise bike (and, yes, I was peddling ...) and have found out that my humility score is excessively low (no surprises there then) but my appreciation of beauty & excellence score is rather high, thank you very much. Pause for bowing and self-congratulatory applause ... Lord H attempted to cheer me up about my appalling lack of humility by suggesting that perhaps having a low humility score is, in fact, a good thing as a high humility score would mean you could be proud about it, and then the whole point would be lost. He looked suitably smug when I told him about the beauty/excellence result and said that of course I would get a high score for that as I had been married to excellence for thirteen glorious years. Hmm. Nice to know that our humility scores may well be similar indeed.

This morning, I have played golf with Marian. Now there's a game where humility and excellence go side by side, and are sometimes experienced in the same breath. Well, in theory anyway - haven't had much of the golf excellence quota for a while now. Surely it's time for our luck to turn?

I attempted a little bit of writing, but am really fiddling around the edges of it today - am spooked by my super-active weekend and the need to keep upright and look friendly at all times. But, hey, maybe this is what Widening Participation is all about? - even sociopaths are allowed into the outside world on occasion. And I do have some fun things to look forward to: today I'm off up to London shortly to chew the writing cud over coffee with Clayton (http://www.myspace.com/dwbsoho) - and I'm sure Clayton's shop will be excellent, and I will be suitably humbled by the experience. Though I am trying to look neat (fashionable is only a distant dream, I fear ...) and comb my post-golf wild hair into some kind of control. I don't want to let you down, Clayton! It will also be nice to revisit some of Michael's (http://www.flamebooks.com) old hunting ground; I'm sure his voice is stronger today, and suspect he knows he's off to the big city soon. Characters are like that - they know more than you think, dammit ...

And, after that, I'm meeting Bryony (an old schoolfriend) for pizza and catch-up. My mother is very pleased about this, as she's always loved Bryony (ah, such a nice girl, dear - why can't you be more like her? ...). I am also pleased, as we can talk without having to chat, hurrah! If you see what I mean.

Oh, and I've had some communication with my agent (http://www.johnjarrold.co.uk/about.html) today. We've decided (I think) that the only way to squeeze me into any major publishers' schedules is to rename me so I sound like dubious minor royalty (is there any other kind?). So goodbye Brooke and hello Baron Blackthornton-Smythe. Ah, the Baron - a fine old gent, you know, and a dab hand at croquet. Strangely, I can picture him already - tall and lean, 50s, silvering hair, piercing green eyes, and a butler who is secretly in love with him. Bloody hell, somebody pass me the anti-psychosis pills - I think I feel a plot coming on ...

And welcome back to Wayne (http://www.myspace.com/wblackhurst) who has been missing from Myspace for way too long due to Orange problems. Welcome back, Wayne - we've missed you!

Today's nice things:

1. Golf
2. Meeting Clayton ...
3. ... and meeting Bryony.

Anne Brooke (AKA The Baron)
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Second Amazon review and A Stranger's Table request

Great joy this morning to discover a second five-star Amazon review (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Dangerous-Man-Anne-Brooke/dp/0954594568/ref=sr_1_4/202-0915331-5590251?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1176559428&sr=8-4) for A Dangerous Man (thanks, Sue! Great pseudonym too!...), which I reproduce below:

"I thought the novel was suspenseful, unsettling and well paced and took me into a world that is totally alien to me; that of gay men and the art world. Although the main character, Michael, is not your normal type of hero - in fact he is a very dark personality indeed - I felt a real empathy for him and I found myself rooting for him until the end (even when he had stepped over the boundary into criminality). The final chapters of the book are gripping as the shadows that have been stalking Michael come to the surface and threaten to ruin his all too brief taste of success. There is a sense of foreboding as the reader realises that there is surely tragedy ahead for Michael and the people who surround him. I thought the writing throughout was excellent, particularly in the final more violent scenes, and I found it easy to visualise what was being played out in front of me. I was sorry to be coming to the end of the novel so I left the final few chapters until later in the day to savour reading them - what a sign of a good book that is!"

Glad you enjoyed it, ... um, Poohbunny(!), and thanks for putting it up there. Much appreciated!

I've also, much to my delight, had a request for A Stranger's Table (http://www.poetrymonthly.com), which has cheered me no end. Hey, someone out there likes poetry! So, many thanks, Richard - and a signed copy will be in the post to you on Monday. Finally, as the ultimate hat-trick, I see I am in this month's edition of Writers' News (http://www.writersnews.co.uk), and that Michael and Flame (http://www.flamebooks.com) are mentioned, so that's lovely too. All three of us are very pleased, I'm sure.

The rest of my day so far has been spent lolling around aimlessly and squeezing out some more words to The Gifting. I've also attempted to contact my agent, but at the moment it seems to be a one-way track so I'm not holding out a great deal of hope (John? Are you there? Come out if you're still in the building ...). Perhaps he'll show greater interest once I've completed the novel, especially as fantasy is his genre of expertise - there's always that hope anyway! And, of course, as I'm very much a Z-list author, I imagine there's not a deal of point in him spending much time on me until I can deliver the goods. So, don't wait up then, at least not in terms of the big publishers, methinks ... Sigh.

And I've just watched An American in Paris on TV - lost of fun with Gene Kelly, the joys of tap-dance and some good one-liners, though I could have done without the ridiculous dance schmalz extravaganza at the end. A wasted ten minutes there, to my mind. Though I loved the character of the cynical concert pianist - great!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Lord H has entered one of his periodic silent zones (more silent than usual anyway ...), during which he speaks to no-one, particularly me, and mooches round the flat sulking. I've learnt over the years that he's best left to it, and am hoping that he emerges from the male cave in a day or two. Question to the boys: just what is it you do in that darn cave anyway??! Last year, he actually managed a week, but then again I was out a lot in the evenings that time, so may not have noticed as much (bad wife! Bad wife!...). Still, we'll see, and if I want idle chatter, I can always switch the TV on. Or ring Mother (yikes! That's worse!). Mind you, the good thing is that during such times, he does get a lot of DIY done, and even now is doing something peculiar with a new bookcase. So it's not all bad news and lettuce. (Lord B-I-L: if you're there, and have any good family tips, don't keep them to yourself!!...)

Tonight, I'm hoping they'll show Dr Who and it won't be kicked out due to overtime in some silly sports match or other (pause for brickbats to be lobbed!...). And I might try for some more scribbling. Might even get to the end of a page - who knows?

Today's nice things:

1. The Amazon review
2. The request for A Stranger's Table
3. Being in Writers' News magazine

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk