Church and the Lazy Queen

Much to my surprise, I actually had a great time at last night's wedding evening do. Emma looked fab in her dress, the disco music was just my era and I rediscovered my Essex Girl disco roots. Hurrah! Though I have to admit to not dancing round my handbag - for the sake of Emma's blushes. And, seeing as we're both married to men who definitely don't dance, Pauline (Emma's mother) and I discovered the delights of quasi-Lesbian dancing. Bliss! Good job we're about the same height then. All in all it was grand - though thank the Lord there are no photos to prove it. At least not of me.

This morning, Lord H and I have visited St Nicholas' in Peper Harow to pay our theological respects. It was surprisingly full for a church that exists in the middle of absolutely nowhere down a private lane and near a duck pond. But pleasant enough - although I think I preferred St Mary's in Shackleton (their sister church). However, the pews were more comfy for Lord H and the hymns were nice. I got the giggles at Communion however - I was in line before Lord H and, upon kneeling, realised that the communal kneeler wasn't as firm as they usually are and all but overbalanced on the old gent the other side of me. I just saved us all from going down like dominoes, but was too late to warn Lord H who landed on the kneeler, rebounded upwards and nearly did a forward roll over the rail and into the sanctuary. Now, that would have been grand. I didn't dare look at him until we were safely back in the pew ...

Anyway, the rest of the day I have spent watching "Will & Grace" - a superb send-up of "The Sound of Music" which had me chortling into my ironing board (yes, I've finished the load at last!) - and napping. A girl can never have enough naps to my mind. And you'll be pleased to hear that the imminent sherry crisis (I finished off the bottle on Wednesday) has been solved by Lord H nipping into Waitrose and buying another couple of bottles. Phew. That should keep me going till the weekend then.

I might do a little more to The Bones of Summer - I really do have to lead Paul and Craig into the sex scene I've already written, as otherwise the poor dears are just floating in white space. And we can't have that, can we?

Tonight, there's a film on TV we're planning to watch - "A Cock and Bull Story" - which is supposed to be very funny. If it is, then it'll be ideal Sunday night viewing. If not, well, there's always the sherry.

This week's haiku:

I chop potatoes
and think of poetry. Breathe
starch and soft rhythm.

Today's nice things:

1. Emma's wedding (well, it counts as today!)
2. Giggling in church
3. Napping.

Anne Brooke
Anne's website

Cardboard policemen and contracts

Ye gods, I have a contract!!! Pause for screaming and running round the flat ... John has sent me the contract for Maloney's Law from PD Publishing and I have signed it and will send it back to him first thing Monday for onward transmission. I'd also like to take 100 photocopies of the darn thing and make them into this year's Christmas card, but Lord H tells me that's not what cool writers do ...

It's such a lovely grey colour with a purple splashy logo too - I love it. I love it so much I think I might take it to bed with me. God, but I am soooooo sad. I know.

Meanwhile, back in the wilds of Surrey, the Surrey Advertiser's front-page news is the theft of Farncombe's two cardboard policemen by two teenage girls. Yes, you did read that correctly - as part of Farncombe's new focus on community policing, they decided to give our next-door village its very own British Bobby. Two of them actually. Except that they were ... um ... cardboard. Which must really have put the fear of God into Farncombe's gang culture (and yes sadly there is one ... - the Farncombe Massif - or is it Massive? - if you're interested). Now of course, the Farncombe Massif Molls (assumed!) have stolen them and they are going to be charged with the dreadful deed and gain criminal records for their pains. Ridiculous. What should happen is the two girls in question should be feted and given the Keys to the Village or a medal for community service. At least. If I'd had the guts, I would have stolen the damn things myself. Cardboard policemen deserve all they get - and some! However, there is one good thing: the whole incident renews my hope in British youth culture. There are young people out there with sense, spirit and the will to act ...

This morning, Lord H and I have visited Lightwater Country Park in an attempt to see some woodpeckers. Lord H assured me that there are always woodpeckers there and whenever he goes (it's near work), great flocks of them fill the skies and fly from tree to tree in front of his very eyes. Well, um ... not today they don't, missus. Nairy a one, I fear - not even the sound of one. Unless they're all disguised as wood pigeons. Or cardboard policemen. Sigh. Anyway, we did see some long-tailed tits in silhouette and a Barnacle Goose. Which was fun. And the park itself is lovely.

Tonight, we're off to the evening wedding reception of Pauline's daughter, Emma. In Kent - which is a bit of a drive, so I'm hoping not to stay too late. Lovely to get an invite of course - but I'm not a great fan of parties, as you know. Very exhausting. Though it will of course be nice to see Pauline and the family.

Oh, did I say I actually got the contract today???!!

Today's nice things:

1. Getting the contract for Maloney's Law (did I mention that?)!!
2. Laughing at cardboard policemen
3. Lightwater Country Park (even sans woodpeckers).

Anne Brooke
Anne's website

Mighty Erudite and the art of the wedding

Met Jools of Mighty Erudite Publishers today for a bacon sandwich and a coffee in Guildford. We were half an hour later in meeting than anticipated as I was waiting like a dork outside the House of Fraser whilst poor Jools was inside wondering where the hell I was. Sorry, Jools! And thank goodness for mobile phones, eh! I also looked possibly more of a dork than usual as I was dressed in my wedding outfit, though I wasn't actually wearing the hat. Just carrying it in a suitable (Macy's!) bag. Anyway we had a great chat about the publishing company and her first two authors scheduled for an October launch, I got really excited about it (and still am), and she seems to like my editing work and wants to use me again. So that's really good news, hurrah! And phew!

Anyway, after that, I met up with Lord H (complete with summer blazer and his own head-gear), put my hat on and headed off to the Carol's wedding. Lord H's comment: how unusual it is to be going to a wedding which has a boy and a girl in it. We can't remember the last time we went to one of those ... And very nice it was too. The bride looked beautiful (ace dress!)and giggled all the way through, we sang two nice hymns I could really belt out (in my own inimitable fashion ... Life Tip: don't stand next to me at a wedding), we muddled our way through some choruses, and I got quite choked up during the vows. As ever, eh. Honestly, I am just a complete slush-bucket under this cynical, bitter exterior. No, really ... There were nibbles and drinks in the church afterwards, and then we slipped away as we weren't going to the evening do (parties are hell to sociopaths like us, you know!).

So we have a free evening - hurrah! Which will be filled with Chinese food, beer and there's a new psychic drama on TV later on, so will be watching that for sure. I love that kind of stuff. So, all in all, a good day - shock! horror! And, bloody hell, but the sun is shining too. Astonishing.

Today's nice things:

1. Meeting with Jools
2. Carol's wedding
3. Psychic TV dramas.

Anne Brooke
Anne's website
Pink Champagne and Apple Juice
Goldenford Publishers