Flowers and discounts

Book News:

There've been a couple of nice reviews for psychological thriller A Dangerous Man this week, which have really cheered me. One 4 star review at Goodreads (thank you, Sungrave), and one at KazzaK Book Reviews and Therapy, who says, amongst other comments and much to my delight:

"I recommend this book to those that are interested in a well written book about fragile psychology, tenuous control, with real cause. It is an intense (LGBT) book where romance is not the all encompassing theme, rather individuals' complexities are, and how easily tragedy can collide with everyday life. A Dangerous Man is a very powerful and haunting book."

Many thanks, Karen!

Over at Amber Allure Press, throughout the whole of July there's 25% discount on all my books, so do pop over and choose some summer reading. At the very least, it will take your mind off the weather.

Plus if you leave a comment on my article about the power of dreams at Long and Short Reviews, then you're automatically entered in their monthly book competition - so don't miss out. And it will make me look less like Billy No-Mates, so thank you in advance!...

My most recent meditation poem is:




Meditation 676
Biblical lists
have a deadening force
that causes my head
to forget them.

There are so many names
and long ones of course –
I’d have looked like a fool
if I’d met them.


The Sunday haiku is:

In scented sunshine
bright flowers sparkle the air,
making me dance too.


Life News:

Lots more garden excitements this week. Our pink hydrangea is finally in bloom, my Inky Fingered coleus has tiny blue flowers at the top, and we have tiger-striped lilies in one of the beds, well gosh. Not only that but today's trip to the glorious Rake Garden Centre netted us a delphinium, a tray of dianthus, a tray of cosmos, some antirrhinums, a Vanilla Scent nemesia, two Iceland poppies and some blue bedding plants. All these are now in the garden, and it all looks lovely. Bliss. Really, one can never have too many flowers ...

This week's cake is Classic Cherry cake, and I have to say it's much tastier than it looks - what a relief! I think my cherries have sunk though (as it were), but I've never known anyone's cherries actually rise. Hey ho.

Friday was golf in spite of the rain, and I think I was better than last week, but only just. I blame the weather, myself. And yesterday was a big party day - as my lovely friend P came for the day and we had a good look round the Godalming Food Festival. She bought some fabulous soap in the shape of cupcakes, and I indulged in strawberries (now our own harvest is over, I don't want to miss out ...) and also a Japanese picture from the charity shop for K.

Then in the evening, we celebrated our vicar's 25 years of priesthood with a really very good service (where everyone read superbly, I must say) followed by champagne and nibbles. Personally I think every church service should be followed by champagne and nibbles, and perhaps we could even introduce them at the altar rail instead of the wine and wafers, but I appreciate that's probably a minority view, ah well ... Anyway, well done to J and his long-suffering wife V, and here's to the next twenty-five.

Anne Brooke
The Gathandrian Fantasy Trilogy
Gay Reads UK
Biblical Fiction UK
Lori Olding - Children's Author

Chilling, writing and who I'm most definitely not!

Have spent most of the day being wonderfully lazy, hurrah! Well, I felt I deserved it after yesterday's excitements. And I probably also needed to recover from yet another disturbing dream last night - actually more of a nightmare I think. Bizarrely I and another girl (though I somehow managed to be the consciousness of both) were on a journey, but our fellow-travellers were being kidnapped by strange women dressed in black with machine guns. The girl and I were desperate to avoid this fate, but were unfortunately captured anyhow. Not entirely sure what happened to the girl, but the nasty women operated on me by removing a kidney and inserting a container full of purple liquid instead - as they wanted me to carry it over the border for them, thus avoiding the border-guards. Ye gods, what the hell is all this about??? I woke up in a right state in the middle of the night, and poor Lord H took a while to calm me down. Anyway this morning, I have no unusual scars so it looks like (a) I haven't been operated on by aliens, and (b) I still have both my kidneys. Thank the Lord for that then ...

Today, I've added another 1000 words to Hallsfoot's Battle and am now nearly at the end of the Gathandrian Library scene. Which is a relief as I do really need to begin to move on from there before old age sets in. Still, that's now 53,000 words, so I'm slowly slowly scrambling up to the big 60,000 marker.

Talking of writing, I've been rather amused today by a reviewer who managed to give a proper old beating to Maloney's Law who could obviously Do No Right for her. The amusements came when I realised that (a) she didn't appear to like gay fiction much, or the women who dare to write it; and (b) she was distinctly snippety as it wasn't anything like Ken Bruen's writing. Well, I'm afraid (a) is simply one of the genres I write in; and (b) is a great great relief, as I absolutely hate Ken Bruen's books (dull, pompous, overly complicated, if you're asking ...). So, double phew and put out the bunting that Maloney is nothing like that and I remain the innate genius I always knew I was, tee hee! There's a huzzah factor to every bad review, after all ...

And I've finished Joseph Brandstetter's The Little Dog Laughed. Another five-star sassy treatment of the gay PI genre and a pleasure to read (much like Maloney then). I particularly enjoyed the shock ending - what on earth will Dave Brandstetter and Cecil do now?!? To be continued, however, as there are still four books in the series to go ...

Tonight, I will be glued to the results programme of Strictly Come Dancing and hoping that Jodie's utterly beautiful waltz keeps her deservedly in for another week. Go, Jodie, go, girl! You have my vote for sure.

This week's haiku (about this week's nicer dream!) is:

The end of the dream
disturbs me; I close my eyes
and dream it better.


Today's nice things:

1. Relaxing
2. Writing more of Hallsfoot
3. Knowing I'm nothing like Bruen!
4. TV.

Anne Brooke
Anne's website - a good read guaranteed ...

D is for Dream and the search for the green heron

Some strange dreams last night - all of them (as Lord H kindly pointed out) having to do with the letter D. First of all I was stuck in a cave or potholing (something I'd never do in real life, I assure you!), having some kind of adventure. There was a big explosion and I was trapped underground and ... well ... died. I then fastforwarded to my funeral, where Lord H was obviously rather devastated. I didn't like that idea at all, so (in my dream) I decided to dream it again, and this time I managed to survive the explosion, and solve the mystery, and everyone was happy, hurrah. In the second dream, Lord H and I were planning to get a dog (we're not too keen on dogs, so I can't work that one out at all), and asked some friends what to do about getting it through Fireworks Night. One friend said that the best thing to do was close all the windows and doors, turn the TV on really loud and stare into the dog's eyes whilst swaying. This would make it think it was a robot and it then wouldn't be afraid of loud noises. Hmm, so that's clear then. What can it all mean???

Anyway, today, Lord H and I got up at the crack of dawn and drove down to Hythe, near Folkestone, for the simple purpose of spotting the green heron that seems to have been blown there from its usual habitat in America and has been there for the last week. I was convinced we had no chance, but bloody hell we saw it!! What an amazing bird!! And so good at posing for ten minutes on a branch about 10 feet from our noses. Utterly amazing and magical, and one of the best things that's happened all week. You can find out more about this wonderful bird here and the picture is just exactly what it looked like too.

Fresh from that triumph, we drove to Dungeness RSPB reserve and walked round the trail in the wind and driving rain. My new coat works, you'll be glad to know - and thank goodness I remembered the hand-warmers. Lord H and I both needed them. Highlights there were the 4 or 5 marsh harriers which were flying all over the reserve together - astonishing to see so many of them in one place - but one of the women there told us they'd bred there for the last two years, which would explain it. Must have been a family. We also spotted a dunnock, loads of shovellers, teal, gadwall, a (grey!) heron or two and the usual suspects. My, but it was chilly and not many people around, surprise surprise. Only sad fools like us then ... Did I say we've seen a green heron today?

Back home, I am limbering up for Strictly Come Dancing (come on, John! Come on, Jodie!) and a Chinese takeaway from Waitrose. And dreaming of herons of all colours. Lovely.

Today's nice things:

1. Seeing a green heron (did I mention that?)
2. The marsh harrier family
3. Strictly Come Dancing.

Anne Brooke
Anne's website - almost as good as a green heron, you know!

Thriller of the Year

Wonderful news today! The lovely Lisa Glass, author of the dark and supremely gripping Prince Rupert's Teardrop, has chosen A Dangerous Man as her Thriller of the Year on the Vulpes Libris Book Blog site, and you can find her comments here. You'll need to scroll down just a little as Lisa is 2nd in the Picks List. Many thanks indeed, Lisa - I'm more than grateful! Michael is quite chuffed too - and will be happy to give you a special discount of his services at any time. Naturally. The choice is yours ...

Meanwhile, last night's strange dream involved me learning how to swim. Something I've never been able to do - like whistling or climbing a tree. Anyway, my first attempt went pretty well, but I think I was overconfident the second time around as I couldn't seem to make any headway. Hmm, why does that sound so much like my life? Ah well.

Today, Lord H and I have visited The London Wetland Centre and have finally got round to joining The Wildfowl and Wetlands Trust. It was great to potter around, and we managed to see pochards, shovellers (I really love shovellers - well, I know what it's like to have a big beak ...), teal, gadwall, nine herons all in a row (which seems very Christmassy, weirdly), long-tailed tits, a woodpecker and a flurry of parakeets. Highlights of the day included (a) a man wandering out of the Ladies' loos looking utterly confused, presumably at the strange lack of urinals; (b) two old ladies asking us what a great crested grebe was, and we were actually able to tell them; (c) explaining what parakeets were to a young family who asked us; and (d) pointing out a woodpecker to a woman desperate to see one. Lordy, but we must really look like experts by now. In one day alone, we have educated the young and enlightened the old. Our job here is done, Carruthers ...

On the way back, I nipped into Waitrose to get a paper and food for tonight. Not to mention food for tomorrow. While Lord H popped into Halfords to get a headlight bulb for my car which is distinctly one-eyed at the moment. As I trundled round the aisles, I bumped into the vicar who promises that tomorrow's 1662 service will be a cracker. So I hope it lives up to the fanfare - we shall see! He was also impressed by my binoculars and thought it a great way to spot bargains before anyone else does. Now there's a thought. Taking binoculars to the shops could be the next Godalming trend, you know. You heard it here first.

Tonight, we shall be glued to Strictly Come Dancing and trying to work out who'll be next for the chop. I hope dear old John Sergeant manages another week, though I fear the worst. And I'm most looking forward to seeing what Cherie does. She rocks.

Today's nice things:

1. A Dangerous Man being Thriller of the Year
2. A day out with the birds
3. TV.

Anne Brooke
Anne's website - which contains a Thriller of the Year book, you know!...

Golden dreams and mental health

Had the best night’s sleep last night that I’ve had for well over a week. Still feel tired though (dammit), but serious bliss, nonetheless. I was beginning to think I’d lost the ability to sleep properly at all. Mind you, the fact that the cold seems to have all but cleared up and I can therefore breathe again does help.

Had a wonderful, but bizarre, dream too: I was part of a husband and wife private detective team (with me being the man, as ever …) in a fantasy setting. We’d had to move from Paris (a city I’ve never enjoyed, but never mind – it was perfect in the dream) to London because of my job but, although the work was good, it wasn’t as enjoyable as before. I don’t think the cases we were getting were as exciting. Anyway, on our latest case we had to take a trip back to Paris to try and solve it and, once there, everything fell perfectly into place. The streets and buildings were beautiful and – for the first time – I could hear the song of the voices in the city in my head, in a way we never could in London. I remember saying, in the dream, to my wife that it was as if the voice of London was dead and only Paris was truly alive. And I could also see the golden statues move – both London and Paris had these magnificent golden statues, known as angels, but in London they were always still. In Paris, they were alive. The first one I saw was a statue of Hamlet striding across a square back into his usual place. I was so excited that the wife and I agreed there and then that we had to come home to where we belonged. All very strange – and what on earth can it mean? Hmm, maybe I feel another novel coming on, Lord preserve us …

I also thought the Alistair Campbell breakdown programme which I watched yesterday was fascinating and extremely worthwhile. Mental health issues do indeed need to come out of the closet and be what they are: a part of the lives of rather a lot of us. The section that I found myself responding to by punching the air and yelling “yes yes, that’s exactly how it is!” was when Campbell said that the worst thing about depression was that it was utterly impossible to explain it to anyone else or to even formulate sentences about it in one’s own mind. Indeed, depression is truly the enemy of communication. And the worst question you can ever be asked (and I know as I’ve been asked it and it always leaves me gibbering with inappropriate rage and frantic with frustration – though not to the person’s face, thus far …) is that old chestnut: “what’s wrong?” That’s the point of depression – we don’t know!! And it’s not at all that anything specific is actually wrong – the problem is the person. And that’s always been one of Lord H’s many plus points – when I’m going through a down time, he’s never once, even in the early days, asked me what was wrong. He just seems to accept that is how it is, for now, and we just have to trog on through it as best we can. Believe me, that’s a rare gift to have.

Anyway, it’s been busy in the office today – loads of meetings of all different types to arrange and yet more timetabling to sort out. It’s like a giant three-dimensional code and only I have the key to open its mysteries. I just don’t know where I’ve put that damn key at the moment, sigh. One can only hope it will turn up.

I stayed at my desk at lunchtime again, although I do think my stomach is getting better. Walking doesn’t hurt quite so much – though I suspect (after last night’s brief inspection of the area) that the tummy button scar is likely to take the longest to heal. Ah I fear that there’ll be no golf this Friday, Carruthers …

Tonight, I’ll pop into see Gladys on the way home. She’ll probably have forgotten who I am by now – though that’s probably a good thing of course. UPDATE - a nice quiet visit as she was pleasantly sleepy. A much appreciated change from the last time I saw her for sure. And I’m planning an evening of antisocial sloth, aha. So no change there then.

Today’s nice things:

1. Sleep
2. Strange but wonderful dreams
3. Campbell’s views on depression – so true!

Anne Brooke
Anne's website

Timetabling, drama and royalties news

Lots of strange dreams last night about baths which I couldn’t really make a lot of sense of. Always good to be clean, I suppose … Still, at least I did get to sleep at a reasonable time, hurrah, so feel less like a squeezed-out sponge with no soul. If sponges even have souls, that is … Meanwhile at work, the saga of the info talks timetabling continues – some of it is gradually falling into place, or simply falling perhaps, I think, but it’s hard to say. At the moment it feels as if I’m still battling for survival in the middle of a rather large jungle. And I’m not sure which direction the enraged puma will leap from next. As it were. Ye gods, but my mind needs to chill out more for certain. Even I’m not quite sure where that image is going … Anyway, all the different talk timetables seem okay for this week at least, and possibly even next, so probably best to leave it there and not look too far ahead where the undergrowth is thickest. I’ll do that when I’m feeling stronger.

Chaplaincy Ruth brought in a dramatised Bible readings book today, which we’ve had fun looking at. It brings back happy memories of when Pauline from Kent and I used to spend Sunday evenings with a bottle of wine and reading aloud the plays of Wilde, Shakespeare or Shaw. Or anything else we could get hold of really. With the two of us dividing all the parts between us and battling over both of us wanting the more evil roles. It’s possibly the strangest activity I’ve ever done with a friend, but I have to say it was one of the most enjoyable. And I have fond memories of it still. Ah, I should have been an actor, you know, but I grew too tall.

I walked into town this lunchtime to try to sort out having a flu jab with Superdrug, who offer it cheaply during October – I don’t want one before the operation, but I don’t want to miss out either, so I hope they can book me in for a couple of weeks’ time possibly. I can’t miss my flu jab – my winter would be unbearable without it! UPDATE: The nurse there advised waiting until a few weeks after the op and said Superdrug would be offering the jab up until Christmas, so I’ll have to think about it again in November. Ah well, always good to have something to look forward to in the diary indeed.

Oh and PD Publishing have emailed to say that the first quarterly royalty statement for Maloney’s Law is in the post, presumably to the agent. Hmm, something else to worry about then – as my usual poor sales, which up to today I’ve managed to keep from the agent, will from now on be pretty obvious, I assume. Groan. Still, at least that does mean he’ll have to contact me in some way, even if only to wonder why he’s representing me at all … Which I can understand, to be honest – authors like me who aren’t commercially successful by any measure are not what the up-and-coming agent needs on his books. Anyway, all I can do is wait for the news, whatever it may bring, to filter through at some point, I suppose. Sigh.

Tonight, it’s Claudia and the Strictly Come Dancing gossip again, and I might try to watch the video of Jodi Kidd in Who Do You Think You Are too. We’ll see.

Time since The Gifting submission with no response: 4 months, 1 week, 4 days
Time since The Bones of Summer agent submission: 3 days

Today’s nice things:

1. Feeling less exhausted
2. Remembering drama evenings
3. TV.

Anne Brooke
Anne's website

Strange dreams and naked men

Yet more strange dreams last night. This time, Lord H and I were in some kind of bar which had a room at the top filled with bees. There was something ghostly going on, and we kept having to try to find the bees and contain them in some way as this would help solve the hauntings. It was all very mysterious and quite surreal really. We never did quite get to the bottom of it.

And talking of bottoms, Lord H has very kindly emailed me a set of pictures from the naked Italian rugby team calendar. Hmm, lovely, that man does know me so well. Perhaps too well! Here's my favourite:




Sooooo cute. And hey, never say I'm not good to you!

I have to say though that last night's production of "Born in the Gardens" was sadly lacking. We felt very disappointed. Nothing wrong with the actors, but the material they had to work with was rather poor. And hugely dated. I don't think it quite knew if it was supposed to be comedy or drama and was therefore a ragbag mixture of neither. Dull too. Still, at least the chocolate ice cream in the interval was top-notch. Thank the Lord. Still, it does astonish me that the Surrey Advertiser gave it such a glowing review. Why???? Honestly, sometimes, I think I'm living in a world very different to everyone else's and the world and I are most definitely having different experiences. It happens with books too, but more of that below ...

Anyway, this morning, I have spent a pleasant couple of hours having tea at Ang's with Jane H (hello, both!). I am astonished at Ang's ability to maintain control and calm in the face of one active toddler and one set of baby twins, but yes we did manage to have conversation of sorts. As you know, I am sadly lacking when it comes to children however, but I did my best. I hope!

I have also managed to add another 500 words to Hallsfoot's Battle and I think I know what Ralph is supposed to be doing now. He just has to work out how best to use the magic emeralds. Hmm, don't wait up then - as if I don't know yet, then he certainly won't ... I've also managed to squeeze in an hour or so's essential nap, as I desperately need to catch up on my sleep. Especially with the traumas of tomorrow to face (working on a Saturday! Long car journeys - my favourites!!...), groan.

And, cleverly, I've managed to finish two books on the same day. My, how sad I am that such a coincidence makes me so happy, but what the hell, eh. I've finished the gloriously sharp "Nightwork" by Joseph Hansen. The best of the Brandstetter (gay PI) series so far, to my mind. Hansen is so punchy and precise in his prose that it's a joy to read, and of course Brandstetter is great as a character. It's a mystery why they don't produce it as a TV series or something. Hell I'd watch.

However, from the sublime to the ridiculous: I have finally (thank God!) finished the over-hyped, hugely dull and totally self-obsessed "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elisabeth Gilbert. Deeeep deeeeep sigh. I mean bloody hell but if anyone's going to be self-obsessed round here, it's me. Though God save me from being dull. Honestly, I have no idea why everyone rates it so much: um, irritating woman eats a lot, tries to find herself and then finally gets laid. That's it really. In a nutshell. It does have two pages I really found moving, but in a book of 348 pages, that's not great returns. My advice is: don't bother. Serious yawn.

Tonight, we've really got to clean the flat and there's a ton of TV comedy to catch up on. Which is great, as I could do with a laugh. And as a special treat, here's a nice hot Italian rugby trio to end with (as it were):





Today's nice things:

1. Tea with friends
2. Writing more of Hallsfoot
3. Reading one good book
4. Hot Italian rugby players.

Anne Brooke
Anne's website

Snippety people and lots of rain

A really miserable day today – certainly in terms of rain. Summer (ho ho) is most definitely over and autumn has its claws in us for sure. I even turned the heating on last night and this morning, though I do have a bit of a cold right now, so I have an excuse. Lord H doesn’t like the heating on till at least January, you see, but if I look pathetic enough he usually relents around about November. But hey now it’s on, I might try to keep it that way …

Meanwhile at work, the tension is really beginning to mount in terms of the new academic year (Gawd bless it). People are usually snippety the week before Freshers’ Week until the week after it, so we all get tearful then. Unfortunately they appear to be getting rather snippety now, which doesn’t bode well for the rest of the month, dammit. In fact, one of the emails I received today was so snippety that the Marketing department rang up to sympathise. They obviously don’t know that we’re blamed for everything here at the campus coalface … Mind you, they were impressed with my reply to the aforementioned rudery, which (to my mind) was witty but firm. Anyway, I sorted out the problem, so hopefully the twig-beating that is no doubt lined up for me will be lighter than expected. Still, it’s all so upsetting though. Sigh.

And, really, all I desperately, desperately want to do is goooooo hooooome and sleep. More weird dreams last night though. This time, I was taking a train to Prague with Jane W. She managed to catch it, whereas I was left arguing with the ticket office man. In the end I scrambled aboard another train, with Lord H who had miraculously turned up, and we were frantically looking for seats and trying to work out where the train was actually going when I woke up. Lordy, but my mind is obviously a total no-go zone. Maybe I should just take more calming pills last thing at night??

Anyway, at lunch the weather cleared up enough for a stroll around the campus. Complete with woolly hat, fingerless gloves and scarf. Though then the sun came out so I looked like a complete idjit as usual. I am the height of Surrey fashion, you know. Obviously. Oh, and I’ve sent the final complimentary copy of Maloney’s Law out. Honestly, it feels nice to be doing something at least – most of the publication game is a question of sitting around and hearing absolutely zilch. And bloody hell when you do hear something, it’s a “no”. It’s so ruddy disheartening. At all levels.

During the afternoon, Ruth and I succumbed to the lure of Starbucks (at the moment, this is a weekly indulgence, but soon I suspect it will become daily). There’s nothing like a decaff Cappuccino to make me feel at one with the world. But can the world cope with that?...

Tonight, I shall pop in to see Gladys, restock her birdseed and attempt to look like a normal human being. Heck, she probably wouldn’t notice if I had two heads and was speaking Klingon. Perhaps I should try it? I do own the Klingon Guide to Tourism (Buy or Die) after all.

Ooh, and I’ve finished the very rough draft of my first long poem. So that’s quite satisfying, but my goodness what a heck of a lot of editing pen I’ll no doubt use on it. Should be a haiku by the time I’ve finished, eh. And talking of poetry, here are a couple of poems I've been thinking about:

The comfort of family

I suppose you'd want to be with them,
when it came to it,
whatever happens after

and if you were planning to die
then you'd take them
with you

gunshot and blood
and all the memories you carry
set free at last

making your own peace
from pain, fire
and the final silence of ashes

in the comfort of family.


and another one:

It strikes me 


that a large proportion of adult life
is made up of the wise management

of boredom.

Shame we never teach this

to the children.


And, at the end of a very prickly day, it’ll be a relief to sit down in front of “Mutual Friends” on TV. Ye gods, I just can’t wait.

Today’s nice things:

1. Campus stroll
2. TV
3. Poetry
4. Starbucks decaff Cappuccino
5. Being at home this evening.

Anne Brooke
Anne's website

Near social disaster and the Number One Talent Spotter

Thoroughly enjoyed last night’s opera at Glyndebourne – Carmen is one of my favourites and they did it fabulously. The best Don Jose ever, I thought – he certainly knew how to act. The woman playing Carmen was pretty good too. But the near social embarrassment of the season was that in the short interval (as opposed to the long interval ...) I was chatting to Lord H near the shop when I saw a woman standing nearby whom I vaguely recognised. I couldn’t remember whether I knew her from work and, if so, which job it had been, so rather than blanking her I gave a half-smile and took a couple of steps towards her to have a casual chat. Um. It was at that point that I realised it was actually Sheila Hancock. Arrgghhh!! Being the totally cool customer that I am of course, I gave a strangled squawk and veered off in another direction. Mind you, I suppose she must be used to that kind of thing. But can you imagine the trauma if I’d got so far as to start the conversation???

Had quite a strange dream last night too – Lord H and I were going to University and had our first day at Van Mildert College in Durham (weird, as I did go to Durham University, twice, but never to Van Mildert …). I was rushing up and down corridors, desperately trying to find out where to buy food from or whether they did meals in-house. I then went to see if there was any post for us and found that Mother had sent Lord H a mug and me a book, though we never unwrapped either. Lordy but it must mean something – but who knows what??? Mind you, this isn’t as scary as the dream Ruth apparently had about me last week in which I had a child – a child???! Lord help us all indeed …

Meanwhile back on the ranch, I am still chasing up Freshers’ Week arrangements, and my emails are getting slightly more strained and tearful now (hmm, does this link in with my dream, I ask myself??). Ah, there’ll be more of that in the next few weeks, believe me. However, to ease the stress of it all, I brought in cakes to celebrate my hole in one last week (did I mention that at all?...) so it’s easing the traumas of Monday for us. It is, after all, the last week of vacation hours so the last week we can leave at 5pm. It’s 5.30pm from next week till the finale, m’dears. Sigh. It’s that last half-hour that gets us every time, you know …

I’ve also sent off the review and complimentary copies of Maloney’s Law to all and sundry, so here’s hoping people enjoy it. Had my usual reflexology session at lunchtime, which was total bliss. I think Emily even came in specially, which was sweet of her. What a star.

Ooh, and I appear to be Joint Number One Talent Spotter on the new Harper Collins Authonomy website – but not for long, I’m sure. The books are doing pretty well in the gay charts too, but sadly not in the charts publishers actually read. Ah, ’twas ever thus … Still, I shall bask in my temporary glory while it lasts. And if you want to know what to read, hey, I’m the one to ask.

Tonight, I’m fighting my way through the shops, though thankfully the list isn’t as long as it usually is, and then it’s a repeat of “New Tricks” on TV, hurrah. They’re such class, you know.

Today’s nice things:

1. Not making a complete idjit of myself (for once) at the opera
2. Sending out Maloney into the big wide world
3. Cakes (for my hole in one, in case you’d forgotten …)
4. Reflexology
5. Being a Number One Talent Spotter – briefly
6. TV.

Anne Brooke
Anne's website

Clinics, strange dreams and writers

Up while the nightingales were still around today – and what a glorious day it is, weather-wise – and into work early due to my morning appointment at the Surrey Park Clinic. This time they’re taking the tumour marker blood test (oh joy) so here’s hoping they don’t find anything drastic. Though if they discover my old school tie, that would be very useful, as I was never entirely sure where that went … Apparently too I should start taking more of the oestrogen HRT just to see if I balance out a bit. Little does the poor doctor know that a state of utter imbalance is actually normal for me. Ah well.

Ooh, and I had very weird dreams last night. I was a little old lady somewhere in the tropics (all jungle and savannah – do they even go together?? Is savannah even a word??), fighting off strange spirits who took over the minds of scary men and started pursuing me. Finally the latest scary man died, but the strange spirit came out of him and went into me. Thus making me an equally strange and deadly little old lady, who could then go off and terrify other people. Just like a normal day at the Uni then. And so very me, dahlings.

Back in the real world (ho ho), I took the University Writers’ Group at lunchtime – the last one of the academic year – and it was fun. We managed to look at the manuscripts on offer and discuss ways into writing too. All that in an hour, goodness me. I didn’t set any homework today as I’m sure they all need a rest over the summer. Plus the chance to work on whatever they want to. Next year, when we start again in September, we’ll be affiliated with the new English Department and meeting there, so that’ll be good. Should shake up the feel a bit and keep us all on our toes for sure!

I had my usual weekly meeting with the boss this afternoon rather than this morning (due to my appointment), so I’m hoping all will be made clear at that point about the various projects I have where I don’t have a clue what to do next. Hmm, that’ll be most of them then. Lordy only knows why the University keep me on at all – must be something to do with Care in the Community … Or maybe they just see me as a scary little old lady?

Talking of which, tonight, I shall pop into see Gladys on my way home, and will be bringing her a fresh carton of birdseed. Being hyper-efficient, I have even remembered to pop in a pair of scissors to open it with. Saves having to tear it apart using only my bare teeth and a hell of a lot of swearing. On the other hand, that would be something for Gladys to join in with. These days, she likes a good swear. Don’t we all.

Ooh, and the lovely and talented Catherine Edmunds has given A Dangerous Man a very kind review which you can see here. Thanks, Catherine - I really appreciate that.

And – hurrah! – it’s “Bonekickers” tonight on TV. It’s so wonderfully bad it’s a work of genius. I can’t wait.

Today’s nice things:

1. Weird but interesting dreams
2. Writers’ Group
3. The review of A Dangerous Man
4. TV.

Anne Brooke
Anne's website

Nightmares, visits and books

Woke up hyperventilating like a hot pig way too early this morning, after a distinctly Dr Who-ish and rather terrifying nightmare. Lord H and I were in the desert which was full of large statues, some of which were in a museum also in the desert. I knew beyond any doubting that the large statue in front of the building was coming alive and intended to kill people. When it finally started walking, nobody would listen to my attempts to warn them - so Lord H and I went inside the museum where smaller statues were coming to life too. We attempted to find out if they were dangerous or not by communicating with them. But when they started to attack us, I tried to beat the thing to death, but it just wouldn't die. Thank the Lord I finally woke up! Haven't a clue what that all means, but hell it's been a difficult week and I do tend to have rather vivid dreams. Still, at least it meant I didn't have to wait for the alarm. There's always a positive side.

Back in the real world, I've spent most of today writing up yesterday’s minutes and sorting out the final versions of all the other minutes that seem to be outstanding at the moment. Plus worrying about the mysteries of the Personal Tutors’ Handbook updates – something which I feel is never going to please everyone, or possibly not anyone. It’s such a mysterious life, you know.

Took the University Writers’ Group at lunchtime – didn’t feel as jittery about it today as I usually do, probably due to the calming pills I took this morning. I never feel confident enough to chair this kind of group, but people do seem to keep coming to it. And we get some marvellous pieces of work, so it’s always an inspirational hour. At least for me.

And Ruth bought a radio for her campervan at last. Apparently she and Douglas have been making do by working their way through the musicals and have now come to the end of their combined repertoire. Thus raising the need for a radio. I suggested that it might be more fulfilling to record their own efforts and simply play them on loop, but Ruth has kept faith with the shop-bought option. Shame!

Tonight, I’m going to pop in to see Gladys for the five or ten minutes she can bear me – though it’s usually only two minutes before she starts shouting, sigh … I’m going to try a new approach this time – I thought I’d take some birdseed from home (which we never use anyway as we don’t have a garden) and fill up the bird-table outside her room. I know she likes looking at the birds when she can, so at least I can be doing something useful rather than just pissing her off. I'll keep the birdseed in the car and fill the table up whenever I visit, as the seed I took for her before seems to have vanished. Anyway, it’s a plan. UPDATE: It worked, sort of. She didn't start shouting at me until four minutes had gone by. I think I confused her by not saying hello initially and just doing the bird-table thing straight off. Sigh. Still, I suppose that's progress, but I have to admit I'm not really liking the hugely crotchety and difficult old lady she's suddenly turned into. Is it something nursing homes put in their tea? Perhaps it's a new Government directive? Hell, it wouldn't surprise me. In the meantime, the vicious, mean and downright nasty part of myself wonders why Gladys didn't die, and Penny live. Again, it's a mystery.

Once back at home, I might even try to add a few sentences to Hallsfoot’s Battle as I haven’t done any for so long – or that’s how it seems – and I’ve forgotten entirely what’s supposed to be happening or who anyone is. Still, that’s never stopped me before. Besides, there’s nothing on TV. Again.

I've just finished Dai Vaughan's Germs - a collection of 77 short stories which is well worth a read. They're all very short so if you don't like one, another will be along pretty damn soon. Hurrah! Some of them were utterly superb and some left me utterly confused, but there's something very human about them. And Story 53 - entitled "Manna" - was the second totally perfect short story I've ever read in my life. Bliss. The other, to my mind, is "Blackthorn Winter" which appears in Esme Ashford's On the Edge, a collection published by Goldenford. High-Five to us then!

Today’s nice things:

1. Having a day when nobody appears to have died, thank the Lord
2. Writers’ Group
3. Books.

Anne Brooke
Anne's website
Goldenford Publishers

Happy birthday!...

... to Lord H who is just as young and vibrant today as the day I first met him! But without the Salman Rushdie look-alike beard. My dears, it just had to go ... And what a lovely day we're having - though possibly rather bizarre. But hey that's just us, eh!

Today's favourite present is definitely the Terry Wogan book, Wogan's Twelve. It even has a picture of the delightful Fran from Sir Terry's morning show, and I think we're all now in love with her. Me included. What a babe. And she so suits her voice. Marvellous.

Lord H is enjoying himself today (careful, people, careful ...) by nipping into Godalming to make the most of the sunshine and spending this afternoon in Croydon on the first of his Open University tutorials. Well, it takes all sorts, you know. While he's away, I have been having a thoroughly good time with the edit and am now onto page 309 of 465. Hurrah! Managed to get Annyeke's discovery scene in the proverbial bag and even had time to edit one of Simon's stories. Double ruddy hurrah!

Oh, and while I think of it, I did have a very strange dream last night, which will vastly amuse Jackie and Irene, not to mention "Torchwood" fans. I was in the wonderful world of Torchwood, having various adventures, in a setting which was near the sea, with clifftops and a very big house. Lovely day it was too. In the dream, I was Ianto (there's a surprise - I so relate to the hard-pressed office bod, every time ...) and was following Captain Jack up the clifftop to see what was happening at the house. When he turned round, much to my surprise, he'd turned into Jennifer from Goldenford who was wearing a lovely grey winter coat and talking very excitedly. Weird, eh. Lord H says at least I as Ianto wasn't in the middle of kissing the good Captain before he shapeshifted - that might have been a girl-on-girl action sequence too far ...

Lordy, but I need a holiday. Obviously I am working too hard. Which is good news, as Lord H and I will be in sunny Penzance here as from tomorrow till next Thursday. So no blogging till at least Friday, I'm afraid, but I hope you all have a wonderful week.

Oh, and if you're looking for something to read, I can thoroughly recommend Patrick Gale's Notes from an Exhibition. The bloody best thing he's done so far, in my opinion. I was expecting the worst as, with Gale, you tend to get one good book followed by one rubbish one and so on - and his previous one was good. However, NFAE is a cracker - powerful story, great characters, wonderful and realistic interaction and deeply moving. Oh and the best bloody ending I've read in a long, long time. It moved me to tears. Good ones. If there is a weak point, it's Winnie, and Rachel's childhood, but I see why you need those and they're well enough done. I particularly loved Hedley, Garfield (really!) and Antony. Great stuff. More please.

Anyway, tonight it's champagne, sausages, chips & beans, followed by chocolate cheesecake and cream. Or possibly chocolate brownies - we haven't decided yet. I promise to add some salad though, but hey it is Lord H's birthday choice! Cholesterol City, here I come ...

Today's nice things:

1. Lord H's birthday
2. Editing
3. Books.

Anne Brooke
Anne's website
Goldenford Publishers

Writers and the quiz dunce

Funny dreams last night – I dreamt I was walking down our road, but it was in the Jurassic period, so there were huge numbers of strange leaves and trees instead of houses, and dinosaurs playing in a field. With other people. Odd indeed. I must remember not to work till 11pm too often. Mind you, it wasn’t frightening – just rather unusual. But what does it all mean?? I dread to think.

The first frost on the car today, groan. However, noble Lord H had already scraped it off by the time I came out of the flat, so he gains huge numbers of Husband Points, which I’m sure will last right till next year. Still ruddy cold though – but I accept he can’t do much about that. In fact, it’s so cold that I’m sitting in the office wearing my scarf and fingerless gloves. Amongst other items of clothing of course. If I want to go to the loo, I have to add my coat and hat, and run like crazy before I freeze. Hey ho. The exercise must be doing me good.

Meanwhile, we’re all gearing up to tonight’s office quiz. And we already have a proposed team name: Central Team Totty. Not sure what the boss will think though … However, it’s certainly better than some of the other names we came up with, which modesty forbids me to mention. Ho ho.

I have the last of the University Writers’ Group meetings of the year this lunch hour, so I’m hoping that will go well, ie that people will turn up and bring something to discuss. Though I do have a writing game or two up my sleeve to get them started. And some homework for over Christmas. Cue evil laughter. Actually, in the event, we didn’t have many members, but we had a great time. Talked a lot about the ups and downs of the publishing business (Anne’s Hot Writing Tip: no, agents don’t always know what they’re doing and, no, they don’t always know what readers will like. Don’t Be Fooled …). We also managed to fit in a very productive five-minute writing exercise, during which we all wrote something we hope to use later. Even me. Hurrah! That doesn’t often happen – as I usually think Lord, I can’t use that again. How come everyone else is so good??! Must be the Christmas spirit helping me out, eh!

Come 4pm, I’m off to help Ruth set up the quiz room, and hoping that we don’t end up bottom. I’m hopeless at quizzes – my mind goes blank. Which is probably its natural state, so it’s not entirely surprising. And tonight I’m hoping for an earlier night. For once!

Update! - our team came bottom! Groan. I am indeed a quiz dunce. Mind you, I did get the Oscar Wilde question, most of the art questions and the Captain Oates question all right, so I am not entirely without honour ...!

I have also sent the first 40 pages of The Gifting (hey, anyone out there remember that??) to the new Flicking Lizard press as I feel I have to do something with that novel before the year is out or my brain will implode. Otherwise, I fear it will be forgotten entirely ...

Today’s nice things:

1. Strange dreams
2. University Writers
3. The quiz.

Anne Brooke
Anne's website
Goldenford Publishers

Champagne blogs and wildcard poems

Strange dreams last night – all about being in the Plagues of Egypt with Lord H and trying to run round the huge house we were in shutting all the windows to stop the flies from entering. I think we managed it too, even though the windows were sash windows and immensely tall. I did feel sorry for the people outside though, but there wasn’t a lot I could do about it. Ah well. Hmm, weird or what? What does it all mean …? It’s a mystery.

Meanwhile back at the ranch, I made a start on getting a skeleton file going for the support services annual report – not that there’s much I can fill in under the headers yet until the guys get their act together, but at least it shows willing. Plus I’m bumbling along changing the website to have the right info on for Student Advice. Goodness me, but I almost sound like a real Secretary there. Hush my mouth.

Plus we’ve been making guesses as to where Colin has been whisked off to for his 50th birthday surprise holiday. I guessed Bulgaria, and was winning till today when Carol came back and guessed Italy. Damn it as now we know he’s in France. So much for my winning streak, eh …

Oh and the glorious Sue has updated the Pink Champagne blog to include review news and the article I had broadcast last year, Ten Things I Know about Life, in No Particular Order … - so do pop in and have a look round. Visitors always welcome! And many thanks, Sue! Ooh, and not only that, but we've managed to sell three copies of Pink Champagne and Apple Juice via Amazon this month - hurrah! Thank you to those three discerning readers - a thousand blessings on your houses indeed.

Went for a walk round the lake at lunchtime. Managed to catch sight of a small brown bird, which could have been a sparrow or possibly anything at all, really. Who can say?

Thinking ahead, Jools from Mighty Erudite Publishers has arranged to meet up with me in Guildford on Saturday to discuss the possible creative consultancy job she might like me to do – so I’m looking forward to that, though I will have to wear my wedding outfit for the meeting(!) as Carol’s wedding is at 1.30pm. So I suspect I will look like a complete idjit, but heck I should be used to that by now … At the same time, Jools has sent me a couple of poetry collections to check out. One looks interesting but similar to lots of stuff around at the moment, but the other’s a completely wildcard long and luscious poem called Jerusalem, which I suspect I’m going to fall in love with. If I’m not halfway there already. It’s wild – I really hope she publishes it, even though I appreciate the market will be tricky. Sod the market is what I say – it’s quality that counts.

And on the University career front, the Pro Vice-Chancellor (Lord H’s question: is there an Anti Vice-Chancellor?...) is setting up a new group to look at induction & welcome for students, and has asked for me to administer it for him. Ha! That makes me feel good – I thought he might have had enough of me doing the Student Affairs Committee for him, but obviously not. Then again, maybe I’m just the scariest minute-taker in the village …

Tonight it’s “Heroes” and “Will and Grace” on TV. Double bliss then. Though I shall video “W&G” as I couldn’t possibly stay up to the ridiculous hour they schedule it for, or my eyes will drop out.

Finally, I must admit to feeling rather low and twitchy today – Lord knows why. Might be all the new things happening at work, post-restructuring, or socially. I don’t know. Anyway, it’s a pain. I took two calming pills this morning and I’ve just had a Rescue Remedy spray, so let’s hope they kick in soon, eh. We hope.

Today’s nice things:

1. The Champers blog
2. My first few glances at the Jerusalem poem.
3. TV.

Anne Brooke
Anne's website
Pink Champagne and Apple Juice
Goldenford Publishers

An afternoon with Antony Sher

Last night was great - the Royal Academy's (http://www.royalacademy.org.uk) "Citizens and Kings" exhibition was wonderful. I felt really calm wandering round. The star picture for me was "The Death of Marat", which took my breath away. I stared at it for ages. It's the one they're using to advertise on the website and which I attempted to be witty about yesterday. Hell, it's had its own back. I couldn't take my eyes off it. I've bought the catalogue so I can keep staring. I think it's something to do with Marat's arms and the whole bath thing and the true story behind it. Like a secular Pieta indeed. And there was also a good scattering of female artists of the time, which to our shame you don't often see. I was particularly taken by Vigee-Lebrun whose paintings hit you in the eyes with sheer luminosity. In front of her picture of Charles-Alexandre de Calonne, I thought: yes, you liked him, didn't you? You got on with him and the two of you probably had a laugh together while you were painting it. The affection shines through the canvas. Great stuff indeed. Slight amusement at the end of the exhibition when I picked up our stuff from the cloakroom; I strode right up to the counter, completely and utterly not seeing the small queue to the left and started collecting my stuff. When I gazed round, I suddenly saw one of the men in the queue, coloured up and started apologising but, quick as a flash, he came back with: "don't worry about it - it's good to know who the kings are and who the citizens are", and then we all got the giggles. Love it! And lovely to see Jane W too - I can really talk to her. Also the curry was grand.

However, I feel shattered today. I really have to attempt to get an early night sometime or I can see it's all going to go to pot. As they say. Had strange dreams in the night too - about being back at University again (as a student) and having no idea what I was supposed to do or how to get to speak to my tutors - typical stress stuff. And in the middle of it all, a woman was walking by holidng a baby tiger. God only knows what that was about. No wonder I could hardly get myself out of bed this morning.

Went to Guildford for my regular Clarins facial today, and stocked up on some stuff, which I really shouldn't do as I'm trying to save money this month. Lord H picked me up and we made a quick detour so he could give his theology essay in at last. Hurrah! Just hope he's got the right house to deliver it to. Then back to the house to get some cleaning done, and then to the Cathedral for lunch. Rather busy today, as some of the refectory was being used for a graduation lunch. Consequently we made room on our table for two lads who had nowhere else to go - and got absolutely no acknowledgement, smiles or conversation from them at all. What is it with some people? If someone makes room for me under any circumstances, I feel the least I can do is say thank you. Rude buggers! Probably one of our Science student lot - they have no finesse.

Then into Guildford again - where I bought more books in Waterstone's, when I really shouldn't have but what the hell - and onto the Yvonne Arnaud theatre to see Antony Sher in "Kean". I love Sher - I think he's one of the best actors of our generation and I try to catch his stuff whenever I can. "Kean" was incredibly good and made my toes shiver while I watched it. My knees too. It's sooooo good to see a real play well done. Honestly, it's one of the best things in life. I was tempted to hang round the stage door afterwards to get his autograph, but was overcome with an attack of shyness, so slunk (slinked?) away instead. Am really regretting that now. Damn it!!

Back home, we've finished off the cleaning (almost) and then glued ourselves to the sofa to watch the first episode of the latest series of "Dr Who". Loved it - it was great. I think the new woman assistant is going to be seriously hot. I loved her.

Tonight, I might do some more scribbling to "The Gifting", or maybe type the stuff up that I did on the train to London yesterday - we'll see. Oh, and I've just finished Erastes' (http://www.myspace.com/erastesdotcom) homoerotic historical novel, "Standish", which I really enjoyed. Two great main characters and a gallop-along plot (does that make sense? Hell, you know what I mean). The sex scenes were good too - especially in the way they showed character. Love it when that happens. Also I particularly liked the secondary character of Fleury, and hope he might have his own book one day - he could definitely carry it! At the same time I've also finished Spencer Johnson's "One Minute for Yourself", which was okay-ish, but not as meaningful for me as his "Who Moved My Cheese?" which I thought was really good. Ah well, can't win 'em all.

Today's nice things:

1. Reading "Standish"
2. Antony Sher in "Kean"
3. The "Citizens and Kings" exhibition (which was yesterday, but never mind).

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Church hell - again

Decided to be noble and actually go to church today. Big mistake. I would have been better off staying at home and not wasting my morning. Still, with Lord H doing his head server duties, it did mean I was able to skulk at the back and not go up to Communion. Or pretend to sing any of the hymns or say any of the words. So I suppose it wasn't all bad news, eh? And I know everyone's very well-meaning, but was it really necessary to crowd round me post-service like children exclaiming over a sick animal?? Hmm, I think not, people! It's enough to send me screaming for normality to the Buddhists ... Though, that said, Hilary was nice, and did say some sensible things about useful drugs - so thanks for that, Hilary. However, the way things are at the moment, I doubt I'll be going again for a while.

And none of this was helped by the struggle of getting through yesterday's dinner with my old university friends. Nice food though, Jane M - but I'm not really up to it right now. At one point, I felt very railroaded into agreeing to have yet another (oh God, no!!) pre-Christmas gals' social event shoved into a week where I actually want to be (a) at home with my loved one on our own and (b) quiet. It made me feel incredibly angry that they assume I'll want to do things I would have wanted to do twenty years ago. Well, frankly, I can't be arsed to have yet another social evening when I pretend to be something I'm not (which is how they seem to prefer me to be) and make them laugh a lot. Hell, find your own jokes, gals! Actually, I think the way forward is to back out at the last minute. It's what everyone else does after all. That said, I am looking forward to the dancing classes Keith W and I have decided to book for next year. And I think I've managed to get us out of going out on New Year - hurrah!

All this made my dreams last night very, very angry ones. In fact I woke up, shaking with it. It felt way too big to fit into my "anger box" - Lord H said I could always squash it into the corners, but will I be able to close the lid? It's a mystery! At one point in the dream, I remember I was a man at work who had suddenly flipped and was beating up someone I know, and then having to bring it all back under control again and think how to apologise and explain it. Hell, wouldn't it be good if you could beat people up in real life? Without the bloody repercussions. Bliss!

This afternoon, I've been cheering myself up by watching the video of "Strictly Come Dancing". Hurrah - Mark & Matt are still in! I was sorry to lose Claire & Brendan though - I really liked them. I soooo wish that ruddy tosser, Vincent, and his no-brain partner, Louisa, would go. I really can't stand them. And I'm not convinced their dancing is all that good either - and neither is Baby Bunton's, to my mind.

This week's haiku:

Spaces in my heart
let the poems through. They bleed.
Sunlight destroys them.

(Hell - on a day like today , what did you expect - sweetness and light??!!)

Today's nice things:

1. Getting out of bloody church - at last!
2. Strictly Come Dancing
3. Being at home with Lord H.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk