Thursday, October 02, 2008

Sick of hospitals and sick of waiting

Not a good day today, I'm sorry to say. I suspect this will be a rather short blog as I'm utterly wiped out in terms of energy. So, hey, there's always a silver lining for my reader then ...

Most of my day has been spent ringing PPP, ringing the hospital and ringing the Surrey Park Clinic. Over and over and over again. All I want is for someone - anyone, please! - to give me a code for a D&C operation, as PPP won't speak to me, or even acknowledge my presence without it. It was actually so incredibly stressful that at one point I couldn't stop shaking, so lay down on the bed and cried for a while. I still feel incredibly tearful now, as it's late afternoon and nothing's been resolved. I desperately, desperately want it to be sorted out by tomorrow as I can't bear the thought of starting the working week next week, knowing the op is on Thursday and I'm still struggling with the admin side of it all. I think that, if I don't hear anything from anyone today that's remotely helpful, I'm going to drive to the Clinic tomorrow and just sit there sobbing until someone gives me the fucking code. I mean, for God's sake, how hard can it be?? Give me the fucking code, for crying out loud!!!! I'm not even worried about whether it will or won't be what they end up doing to me next week - I just want the code so it goes on PPP's paperwork and is therefore an option I can have. I don't know why everyone is making it so bloody difficult. Fuckers, all of them. Even the nice ones.

Not only that, but I am utterly and completely arsed off with waiting, waiting, waiting. I'm waiting for publishers to reject The Gifting so I can get on with finding my own small publishers, selling my usual 50 or so copies and then having done with it. (Though actually I've already sent a partial MS out to a couple of small fantasy/gay publishers as I really don't see why I have to sit around doing nothing with what I know is a damn good book ...). I'm waiting for my agent to acknowledge receipt of my email with The Bones of Summer in it. I really don't want to have to contact him via Facebook again simply in order to get a response. I understand quite well that I'm barely in the category of pond life - people don't have to keep rubbing that fact in ... Plus I'm waiting for both him and PD Publishing to acknowledge receipt of my email of a couple of weeks ago telling them I was going into hospital. And I'm sorry but if I get an email from someone I know telling me they're going into hospital, then I do acknowledge it and ask after them - it seems the least I can do ... I do know everyone's too busy these days to communicate, but surely it's not too much to expect? Hell, more fool me then. I'm fed up with waiting - it's crap. Such a bloody, bloody waste of time and spirit.

Honestly I hate the writing business. It's horrible, horrible, horrible. Sometimes I wish I'd never bothered to put pen to paper for that long-ago first novel after all. Fuck it eh. It's been a bad writing week too. I've only managed a few hundred words of Hallsfoot's Battle today and I can't get my head round what I'm supposed to be doing. Neither can I find the energy to care.

Sorry, but I can't be bothered with Writerly Facts - I'm too arsed off to think about them. And I'm too arsed off with finding today's nice things too. I can't think of any. Sigh.

Anne Brooke
Anne's Nearly Pondlife Website

23 comments:

litlove said...

Oh poor, poor Anne! I came over to see how you were doing, having just given my introductory lecture to the little darlings ('You must set aside time to work, time for extra curricular activities and also time for quiet relaxation', I said 'Sod that, we're going to party' said 70 pairs of shifty eyes), and I'm shattered just from that. I don't expect you have the reserves to be dealing with this kind of administrative stupidity, but let's face it, who does? You have my absolute sympathy for the book stuff, too. I haven't even got anywhere yet and I can see how impossible it is to get answers out of people.

I'm going to go over to amazon right now and order one of your books and write you a lovely review.

Hang on in there. You need your code and then everything will look a bit better.

big hugs.

Litlove xx

Jilly said...

I am really sorry to hear all the problems you're having with PPP and the clinic - you'd think they would have a list of codes they could refer to. D&C isn't exactly rare in any case so I'm surprised they don't know it off by heart. Have you tried the consultant's secretary? They're usually a mine of information.
As for writing - think I'd be sending out a synopsis to everyone I could find. If they don't like multiple submissions - tough - they shouldn't take so long to reply.
Hugs xxx

Anne Brooke said...

Oh hell, sorry, LL - I'd forgotten about your introductory lecture - I'm sure it wasn't as scary as you say!!! Maybe those eyes were simply gazing at you in adoration or hope - you're the only thing standing between them and madness, you know ... Time for chocolate for sure though - and well done you on getting to the end of a day. That's cause for celebration enough! Thanks so much for the good wishes - much appreciated.

And thank you too, Jilly - yes I think one of the many people I've sobbed down the phone to today was the consultant's secretary - she was the nice caller! Post blogging, I've even had the consultant on the phone, plus someone else from PPP. I think the latest is that they might not do either a D&C or an ablation, but hell at least I have a code!!! Of sorts - though it's probably really a code for This Is A Hormonal and Stressed Patient - Handle With Care, or similar.

As for now, I'm having chips. In fact I'm having a chip orgasm - they're the nicest things I've dealt with all day - apart from your good selves of course.

Hugs galore

Axxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Emma K-F said...

Oh, Anne, huge hugs and basket-loads of virtual chocolate! I’m really sorry to hear that you’ve had such a crap day and also that you’ve had to do more than your fair share of waiting lately. Damn all those thoughtless heel-draggers! As always, I’ve enjoyed catching up with all of your news from the last month or so, but I was sad to read about your recent health problems. I do hope you get everything sorted out tomorrow so that you can have a stress-free weekend. :-) Enjoy those chips – you deserve them!

Lots of love,

Emma xxx

Jackie Luben said...

Sorry to hear about the problems, Anne.

I hope everything sorts out.

Anne Brooke said...

I know - health's a bugger!! But I've had chips - chips are nice. And a chocolate ice cream, damn that diet. Thanks so much for the good wishes, both - well, all really.

Hugs

Axxx

wordsmith_for_hire said...

Hugs. No idea what PPP is but I do know what a D&C is and I also know how bloody frustrating it is hanging on the end of a phone waiting for someone to speak to you and treat you like an intelligent person instead of ignoring you. I've also found that sprt of situation really stressy and gone for a weep - it doesn't change much but it helps to unload the emotion.

Chin up lass, we're all rooting for you - health, books, the lot.

Anne Brooke said...

Thanks, WFH - much appreciated. Sorry about being obscure - PPP is the private health people who cover me via Lord H's company for this kind of thing. It does actually sound like a wonderful operation too - maybe I'll add it to my coding. No no, dammit - I couldn't stand another bout of phone calls!!

Love & hugs!

Axxx

Susan:Lover of Books, Films and Good Coffee Shops Everywhere! said...

Hi Anne, so sorry to hear about your crappy day. I hope you have got the code by now but, if not, have you tried emailing/faxing them - sometimes a strongly worded letter does the trick or could your GP put a rocket up their bums?

I have just googled 'PPP Healthcare codes' and it's come up with this http://www.axappphealthcare.co.uk/maia?h=offers/specialist_head&f=offers/specialist_footer&u=specialist_utility&n=offers/specialist/specialist_schedule_nav&t=schedule_of_procedures_top&b=offers/specialist/schedule/schedule_of_procedures

It contains links to a PDF download which it says contains 'codes'. Not sure if this could help but worth a look.

Sue
X

Susan:Lover of Books, Films and Good Coffee Shops Everywhere! said...

Link didn't come up properly.....trying again

http://www.axappphealthcare.co.uk/pdf/members/schedule_of_procedures.pdf

Anne Brooke said...

You've found them!!! You're a genius!!! I never ever would have thought of that. Thank you soooo much - you are now my Healthcare Co-ordinator and I am sending a lorryload of paperwork to you for co-ordination even as I speak. Run, Sue, run for the hills ...

Huge thanks!! I might even add some more spurious codes in and have all sorts of bits & bobs sorted while I'm there. You'll never recognise me afterwards, you know ...

===:O

:))

Axxx

Anne Brooke said...

It came up ok in my email notification - so I clicked from there - thank you!!!!!!!

Axxx

wordsmith_for_hire said...

Ah, cheers Anne, re PPP. I had a similar issue earlier this year when I went private on my ex's insurance and had to get authorisation codes or some such. Then they tried to bill me thrice for the bloody excess, months after I sent the cheque! That sort of hassle is the last thing you need when unwell and in need of nurturing rather than torturing. xxx

Anne Brooke said...

Oh lordy - poor you. What a ruddy nightmare. All you needed for sure!!!

==:O

Hugs galore

Axxx

Susan:Lover of Books, Films and Good Coffee Shops Everywhere! said...

Wow! I guess one should never underestimate the power of Google. I wasn't sure if they would be the current/right codes or not. So glad to be of help :-)

Sue X

Susan:Lover of Books, Films and Good Coffee Shops Everywhere! said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anne Brooke said...

Indeed, the power of one woman and her google is always astonishing!! Am I even allowed to type that???... Thank you again!

:))

Axxx

wordsmith_for_hire said...

Ah, not poor me. I'm fine. Had a kidney scare but it turned out to be minor (although admittedly was frightening at the time). But mine's over. What matters now is you. I hope Lord H is bringing you gilded trays of Green & Black's and whatever else is required to keep you feeling loved and sane while you wait your op. Have had a D&C myself - not nice but you don't feel a thing and you'll feel so much better after, so hang in there and make sure you take enough time off to recover afterwards. xxx

Anne Brooke said...

Kidney scares are not nice - I had one myself a few years back, just before I went on holiday, darnit!

Mmm, more chocolate - great idea!

Love & hugs

Axxx

Nik's Blog said...

Sorry I'm a bit late to this, Anne. Big hugs.

Nik xx

Anne Brooke said...

You're never too late, Nik - you're always perfectly on time. Big hugs back!

Axxx

steadycat said...

I hope everything is back on the upswing. You sounded really miserable. :-(

Anne Brooke said...

Thanks, SC - better now for sure! Hope you're okay too.

Axxx