The photocopying queen and some poetry thoughts

Had real trouble getting anything out of this morning’s meditation, but here it is – such as it is – anyway:

Meditation 134

Too many words
for me to carve
a journey through;

the meaning buzzes
round my ears
but does not penetrate

skin.
I stand immune
to wax, honey

or any memory
of the glorious hive
and must walk, today,

blinded.


And, while I’m thinking of words, I must say that yesterday’s programme about John Donne was glorious in the sense that you get the man and his poetry – but who the heck was the idiot who decided that Fiona Shaw would be the best person to read Donne’s work??? Don’t get me wrong – I love Fiona Shaw. She’s a marvellously intellectual actress and I have a lot of time for her. But that’s just it – she’s intellectual and a woman. Donne’s poetry (whilst of course being intellectual) is straight-down-the-line passionate, physical and out-and-out male. It should have been read by someone like Antony Sher. He could have given it the welly and oomph it needed. Sigh.

Anyway, this morning I have been photocopying for Britain and sorting out next week’s potential disaster areas. Apart from that, it’s been hugely quiet in the office – which is nice but dull: Chaplaincy Ruth and Andrea are on half-term as usual, the boss and Ruth are on courses, so in the big room there’s only me. I think I might do a Scottish jig at some point and see if anyone notices. Mind you, the builder is around putting up shelves and dealing with our clock, so I don’t want to frighten him away …

At lunchtime, I braved the rain and walked into town – mainly to get a key cut and try to see if I have any money left. Surely it must be pay day soon? Oh, tomorrow: hurrah.

Tonight, I’ll pop into Gladys on the way home and run the gauntlet of her existential but ultimately ineffectual fury that I should dare to visit at all, and then it’s the joys of Springwatch and a programme on Milton. I hope they get someone more suited to Milton’s poetry to read it this time. We live in hope, eh. In the meantime, I continue on with my strangely intense short story about letters and deceit. And I’ve written a poem about teaspoons, as you do. Hey ho.

Also this evening, I'm taking part in the Eternal Press authors chat at the Rites of Romance Yahoo Group, so I've posted various details about and an extract from Painting from Life there and hope they enjoy the read. Plus Sophia who runs the group has got some excellent questions for us all, so I've enjoyed answering those - thanks, Sophia!

Today’s nice things:

1. Poetry
2. Programmes about poets (no matter who reads the work, I’m grateful it’s there at all)
3. TV
4. Short stories
5. Chatting about Painting from Life.

Anne Brooke - pondering poetry
Cancer Research Race for Life - improving women's health

A five-star review and murder will out ...

Am thrilled to say that the Rainbow Reviews site have given Painting from Life a five-star rating and their comments are here and below:

“This short story is lyrical, fluid, and quietly unsettling; the style perfectly suited to its subject ~ an artist's obsession, the end of a marriage, the evolution of a relationship between elderly Peter and the unnamed protagonist that defies classification. That relationship is intense, deep-rooted, life-changing, but every attempt to label it is rejected ~ the artist denies that it is sexual, Peter denies that it is filial, but the two of them are drawn together, their lives entwining to the exclusion of everything and everyone else. A masterful piece of writing, and a haunting story that lingers in my memory.”

Many thanks indeed, RR - much appreciated! Talking of writing, here’s this morning’s meditation:

Meditation 133

A power given
only to be yielded

to the one
you look for.

Sometimes it is a yoke
to weigh you down,

a sword at your head
to threaten you.

Dark nights
and needy voices

fill your every thought
as you wait

for the only thing
you have known:

moonlit desert;
the singing breeze;

bitter taste of locust
on your tongue.


I seem to be getting rather more involved in the Gospel of John than I’d anticipated – it’s opening up more for me than I thought it would, so far anyway. Let’s see what happens tomorrow though.

At work, I’m catching up on emails and filing. Odd how that dream of the paperless office never came to much – I still have enough files to blockade in the whole of Senate House, should it come to that.

Took the University Writers Group at lunchtime – the last one of the academic term, though we do still have a July date to look forward to. I decided to play a game with the gang involving either powerful jobs or illicit post (the mail variety) today, and I think it went all right. They were certainly lively anyway, and we had a couple of new people, both of which is good. However, I must admit my head is still full of the mammoth weekend edit of The Bones of Summer, so it’s tricky to live in the real world right now. I’ll miss Paul and Craig, now their story arc is done.

Tonight, I’m on the shopping run (groan …) and then it’s the joys of Springwatch (how can we have survived without it for so long??) – I’m hoping for a glimpse of a polecat and more baby bird feeding. It brings out the compassionate side of me, you know – which doesn’t happen often, so one must make the most of it. Oh, and there’s a programme on about John Donne, which I must watch. What a fantastic poet and an utterly fascinating man. I can’t wait.

Finally, it's true what they say about murder will out ... Much to our general shock & awe, the photographs of our recent Egypt Gang murder mystery weekend are now on the hotel website and can be found (prepare yourselves, folks ...) here and here. By George, Carruthers - I think they arrested the wrong people ...

Today’s nice things:

1. A five-star review of Painting from Life
2. Poetry
3. University Writers Group
4. TV
5. Photographs of some very strange people ...

Anne Brooke - making plans to leave the country, fast ...
Cancer Research Race for Life - helping fight cancer

Bones edit and the Surrey County Show

Apologies for the very brief list-like blog today, but due to copious editing I am time-poor. As they say.

First off though, here's this morning's meditation:

Meditation 132

In the night
something draws him

to a space
where questions

can be asked
and answers

not truly given,
hearing instead

a flow of words
that sparkle and shift

like moonlight:
fragile, beautiful

and just out of reach.


Beyond that, I have done the following:

1. Completed the final edit of The Bones of Summer and returned it to Dreamspinner Press. Pause for general rejoicing!

2. Lord H and I have had a whistle-stop tour of the Surrey County Show and admired the donkeys and rather bizarre flower arrangements. Does nobody believe in sticking them into vases of water any more? (Flowers, not donkeys ...)

I will also do the below:

1. Watch Springwatch on TV (in 20 mins and we haven't eaten yet, or made a shopping list for this week or done the recycling, so you can see my problem).

2. Watch Ashes to Ashes.

3. Attempt to get my normal non-editing life hat on ready for the rest of the working week. Wish me luck!

Today's nice things:

1. Finishing the Bones edit
2. Poetry
3. Surrey County Show
4. TV.

Anne Brooke - packing it all in in record time, one hopes ...
Cancer Research Race for Life - helping people live

The glory of the edit and the joys of Spock

I am being organised and focused today, or trying to. Ho hum. But I must admit that when I'm seriously editing, the rest of my life does rather get put on hold. However, here's this morning's meditation:

Meditation 131

The price of commitment
is blood
and torn flesh,

something given
willingly
by the one

who wants to stay;
sometimes the open road
does not enchant us.

We've also managed to show our faces at church this morning, and what wonderful belting hymns we had today. Ah, they don't make them like they used to, you know. There's something about All Hail the Power of Jesus' Name that really stirs the blood - the perfect processional hymn indeed. To the right tune of course, not (sadly) the one that appears to be on the web, sigh ... Also a pleasure to have in the pew behind us an old man who had the most glorious baritone singing voice - like listening to a torrent of the best honey pouring over a mountain. He turned out to be a retired bishop (of all things), so good to know the church can occasionally, even these days, make a good musical choice.

For most of the rest of the morning and all this evening, I've been working away on the final edits to The Bones of Summer, and am now proudly at the start of Chapter 16, page 110 (of 192 pages), so am pleased with how it's gone so far. And I'm learning a huge amount about how different the American language and spelling is to the UK's. It's an eye-opener for sure. Though it is exhausting.

I've also continued to take part in the online gay fiction celebration weekend at the Literary Nymphs Yahoo Group, and have posted a second, rather more intense excerpt of Painting from Life, and erotic extracts of both A Dangerous Man and Maloney's Law. The response has been positive, so that's a relief (as it were).

But the BIG EXCITEMENT of today is that I have finally, finally, finally gone to see the new Star Trek film with Lord H, and I have to say it is utterly and incredibly brilliant. I loved it and can't recommend it to you highly enough! I have fallen in love with Spock all over again, and the whole thing was clever and witty and sharp and warm. Not to mention very very exciting. Great stuff. The moment the DVD comes out, I'm there with my purse open, geared up to watch it all over again. If you haven't gone to see it - and even if you don't like Star Trek - just go. It'll be worth it.

This week's haiku is:

You unknit the day
so it falls like bright raindrops
on my weary skin.

Oh, and while I'm thinking about it, a BIG thank you to all you wonderful people who've donated to the Cancer Research Race for Life - it's very much appreciated and the team is very grateful for your continuing generosity. It's stunning.

Today's nice things:

1. Poetry
2. Good hymns
3. Editing Bones for publication
4. Gay fiction chats
5. Star Trek!
6. Haikus
7. People's Race for Life generosity.

Anne Brooke - waiting for the mother ship to summon her home ...
Cancer Research Race for Life - helping those with cancer

Stories, Bones, birds and chat

I'm very happy to say that Cynic Magazine have accepted my short story, An Unholy Affair, for publication in August, hurrah! Always good to have something to look forward to over the summer is what I say. Meanwhile, the good people at Dreamspinner Press have emailed me the final edits to The Bones of Summer, so that's what I'll be working on over the next few days.

Anyway, here's this morning's meditation:

Meditation 130

It is not the gathering
that pierces you

but the letting go,
the rediscovery

of spaces
you had thought

were filled forever
when coin, flesh,

feather vanish
and only your voice remains,

unprotected, unsung.

For most of today, Lord H and I have been freewheeling across the country watching birds. Our first port of call was the Arundel Wetland Centre where we went warbler-mad. We managed to spot a willow warbler, a reed warbler and a sedge warbler - all three new birds for this year, hurrah! Plus there were dozens of baby ducklings, baby coots, baby moorhens and baby Canada geese, etc etc. So very pleasing indeed. Also pleasing was the marvellous slice of chocolate cake we had for lunch, which seemed to cure the headache I spent most of the morning nursing, thank the Lord. On the way home, we also had a quick spin round Pulborough Brooks where we added a another bird to the "New Birds This Year" List - a little egret - one of my favourites.

Back at the ranch, I've been involved in not one, not two, but three author marketing virtual events. First off, Rites of Romance Chatters have been hosting an Eternal Press authors' day, so I've been marketing Painting from Life at that.

Secondly, Love Romances Cafe has been hosting an event for writers of GLBT (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender) fiction, so I've been talking about Painting from Life, A Dangerous Man and Maloney's Law there.

Thirdly and finally, Literary Nymphs Chat have started their three-day m/m (male/male) fiction event, so I've posted information on my work there too. Tomorrow, I think I'll do another posting, probably with a greater emphasis on sex and sensuality (hey, a great almost-title for another Austen novel there, I think!), as both are of course ideal for Sundays ...

Tonight, I'll be glued to Primeval, in between making sure all my literary balls (as it were) remain in the air for as long as possible. A writer's life is certainly never dull, eh!

Today's nice things:

1. An Unholy Affair being accepted for publication
2. Getting the final edits for The Bones of Summer
3. Poetry
4. Birds
5. Three virtual author events!
6. TV.

Anne Brooke - juggling for Britain
Cancer Research Race for Life - aiming to raise £300 before 6 June!

A less than confident woman and a good review

I've now read Ingrid Trobisch's book, The Confident Woman (sub-title: Finding Quiet Strength in a Turbulent World). To be honest, I was hoping to get more from it than I actually have, but in fact it's been rather a struggle. Her particular brand of Christianity seems so terribly wholesome and irritatingly pure that those of us (such as myself) who are limping along sullied by the mud and grit of the world (and undoubtedly rather enjoying that same mud and grit even) can never hope to keep up. At times the book made me feel as if I wasn't a real Christian at all, and at other times I felt like giving it a thorough shake whilst screaming: 'For God's sake, woman, that's not how my life is!' Oh how I long for a real book about spirituality for real women that relates to where we are and where we're likely to stay. I feel I might be waiting some time though. Sigh.

That said, there were a couple of points towards the end where I feel that Trobisch did say something I could relate to. There was a good section about taking time and stopping, and also about having patience with ourselves, that I felt was worthwhile. I spend a large part of my life being hugely impatient with myself and trying to handle a head that fires off with all sorts of ideas and thoughts and worries in all sorts of directions all the time, so the concept of how to relax is a total mystery that I definitely need to uncover. She also startled me in her section on the prayer-filled life by using the quote from Isaiah 30:15: In quietness and confidence shall be your strength. Yes, an obvious one for this type of book, I know, but it's something someone said to me a long time ago in one of those moments out of time when everything in your life goes still. And I haven't forgotten it, though mainly it lives in the back of my mind and I've always failed to live up to it. So maybe the book was worth it just for that reminder.

Whilst on matters spiritual (of a sort), here's today's meditation poem:

Meditation 129

When the laughter thins
and the joy

is something
you can only remember,

not taste,
then feel on your skin

the cool promise
of water

and what might lie
within it.

I've had one of my poems, Surrender, published by Eat A Peach Poetry Journal and you can find it in their latest issue, though you'll need to scroll down to see it. I'm also thrilled to say that Painting from Life has gained a good review at the Obsidian Bookshelf, so thank you, Val, for that. Very much appreciated.

This morning, I've managed to get out and play golf with Marian, which was fabulous. The weather was stunning (I even took my jumper off, well gosh) and we both played better than our usual level of game. Which was also fabulous, hurrah. My swing seemed much freer today (if I dare type such a line ...), so let's hope that trend continues. This afternoon, I had my Alexander Technique class, which I've missed over the last couple of weeks, so my back now feels much less scrunched up than it's been recently, thank the Lord.

Meanwhile, I'm continuing with those final scenes of Hallsfoot's Battle and I think Simon's at last got the hang of it all. Or he's got the hang of something anyway. About time too. He and the mind-cane may yet be friends. You never know. Though the mind-executioner may still have a few tricks up his sleeve. If he was currently wearing a sleeve, that is.

Keeping on the subject of books, I'm not sure that the hugely talented Mark Wagstaff has quite convinced me with his latest offering, In Sparta. Not that it's not an immensely powerful tale about bombs and the city - it is. And not that it's not sharply and powerfully written - it is. Mark's a genius with the pen, if you like dark, gritty and painful. And he's amazingly truthful about how it really is at work (this year's best lines about office life: 'Sometimes, my only ambition was to pick loose skin off my fingers till it was painful and dry.' and 'I was always horrified to learn what my role would be.' Oh yes, yes and yes. Welcome to the world of the office ...). But the rather gross (and I use that word advisedly) sex scene did, I admit, put me off at a time I desperately needed to be kept within the story - I'm not sure it was necessary in quite that manner, though it was of course well written. I don't object to having main characters have sex with prostitutes (hell, I've written about prostitution myself), but it was the type of sex that went on that pushed me out of the world he was creating. And that's a danger writers should always be wary of. Normal sex would have been fine! Alongside that, I didn't quite get the character of Terri. The change between who we think she is and who she actually is possibly arrived too suddenly and, again, it made me feel uninvolved. Still, the story itself is a cracker, and Wagstaff's always worth watching.

Tonight, I'm looking forward to Have I Got News For You? and Reggie Perrin, whilst of course keeping a close video eye on the last episode of Boy Meets Girl. Ooh, and there's pizza and ice cream. What could be nicer?

Today's nice things:

1. Books, however they make you think
2. Poetry
3. Surrender being published
4. A good review for Painting from Life
5. Golf
6. Writing Hallsfoot
7. TV.

Anne Brooke - still puzzling over confidence and faith ...
Cancer Research Race for Life - meeting our target but hoping for more!

Scrabbling through the undergrowth to a landmark word count ...

... sound the trumpets and put out the bunting, people, but today I have hacked away (oh in so many ways) at the iron-clad mountain of words and I am now well into the 120,000 word range of the little beggars that make up Hallsfoot's Battle. Ye gods and little fishes indeed! Crack open the champers and I'd like a round of applause. Ah thank you, thank you ... I'm so touched (also in so many ways). Phew, eh. Trouble is there's a tad more to go before I collapse like a used-up sponge across the great wall of THE END. Hmm, is that too many metaphors, do you think? Ah well, you know what I mean. Still, it's a landmark and I'm happy.

This morning's meditation was rather tricky but in the end I came up with this:

Meditation 128

Under the trees
the air pauses

in that flow
between one part

of your life
and the next.

You taste the richness
of wild fig

on your tongue
and wonder

who it is
that beckons you.


Multiple kudos to anyone who knows where in the bible that comes from, or at least which passage inspired it. As a clue, it's new testament, which is unusual itself as I normally focus on the old - it's more meaty for poetry, to my mind. But I liked the sense of space when I read the scene and it set me thinking.

For the rest of the day, apart from scribbling away on Hallsfoot's Battle (did I say I'm now well into the 120,000 word levels? Hurrah!), I've also been involved with a fair amount of literary marketing/PR type stuff, so never say I don't know how to multi-task. I've managed, with invaluable help from Alex Beecroft, Erastes and Mel Keegan from the band of GLBT stalwarts to work out how to upload pages onto the new GLBT Bookshelf. It was hugely scary at first, but after a few tears and tantrums, and some therapeutic beating of poor Lord H's chest, it looks like I've done it, so thank you, all! I've loaded Painting from Life, Maloney's Law and A Dangerous Man, all with pictures and links, so at least they look nice.

On top of that, I've also been taking part in the Eternal Press authors' day at the Love Romance Yahoo Group. And that's been a lot of fun - the questions we've been asked are fantastic and I've loved thinking up the answers. It's certainly made me think in a lateral way about my writing and the books I produce, which can only be a good thing.

And I'm delighted to say that the lovely Charles at Ink Sweat & Tears webzine has accepted for future publication both the tankas I wrote yesterday, so that's hugely pleasing. Plus I've submitted my mental health-focused short story to the publication I was aiming it for, so we'll have to see what they think ...

Tonight, I'm easing off a little (hell, I deserve it! - I've reached 120,000 words today, did you know?...) and plan an evening of reading and doing puzzles. Well, there's not much on TV that grabs me. Wickedly however, I've opened the tin of chocolate biscuits that we apparently have to finish by the end of May (how can they have been in the flat so long without being noticed?!?), so I feel they might be demanding a fair amount of my attention too. Mmm ...

Today's nice things:

1. Getting to the high 120,000 word range in Hallsfoot, hurrah!
2. Poetry
3. Marketing on wiki and yahoo groups
4. Tankas acceptances
5. Chocolate biscuits.

Anne Brooke - having a real champagne moment
Cancer Research Race for Life - gearing up for 6 June

Worthwhile books, ducks and the mysteries of Twitter

What a bright and Haydn-y morning today. Just to start us off, here’s today’s meditation:

Meditation 127

The dead
do not need
your blood
or the scatterings
of your skin.

Ask instead
where the life is
and follow it.


Thinking of poems, I’m pleased to say that Pens on Fire webzine will be publishing two of my meditation poems in July, hurrah! Naturally enough, the universe hates imbalance so at the same time a piece of flash fiction has been rejected (sigh – the idjits …), so I’ll try to turn that round and get it back out of the virtual door soonest. But the really good literary news for today is that the coffee-table book of photographs and poems/stories in support of The Alzheimer’s Society is now available, and includes one of my own haikus attached to a gorgeous photograph of water. The official press release is as below:

“Photographer Katherine Elizabeth Lewis has collaborated with author Nik Perring and 18 other writers to produce a beautiful limited edition book to raise money for the East Cheshire Branch of the Alzheimer’s Society – and it was put together, from start to finish, in just four weeks! The high quality book features 20 of Katherine’s photographs along with 20 stories, poems and haiku inspired by them. These stories and poems have come from a terrific mix of contributors; you’ll find work from local writers alongside more established ones, including three former Cheshire poet laureates, short story writer Tania Hershman (who received a special mention in this year’s Orange Prize), best-selling novelist Caroline Smailes, and award winning short story writer Vanessa Gebbie. The book is priced at £14 and is available from the photographer and from Nik Perring. And every penny of profit it makes will be donated to the East Cheshire Branch of The Alzheimer’s Society, who support people with any type of dementia, their carers and families. If you have or care for someone with memory problems please get in touch with your local branch, who can be found by clicking here.”

I do feel this is a very worthwhile cause and the book itself is a classy production with some marvellous little vignettes, so worth every penny. Thanks for putting this together, Nik & Katherine, and it’s a pleasure to be included in it indeed.

Meanwhile, on Twitter, I’ve been tweeting the initial extract of Maloney’s Law for a good few weeks now, to which the response has been … um … none. Ah well. Now that Painting from Life is available in paperback and eBook, I’ll start tweeting that instead. It’s so hard to know whether this sort of marketing attempt is worth it or not – probably not, on balance, but hey at least it gives me something to put in that empty slot on the Twitter board.

Meanwhile at work, we’re trying to sort out agendas for a raft of upcoming meetings but the goalposts keep changing. The moment we think we’ve got them sorted, something else comes up. By the time we get there, my agendas will be so long they could probably wallpaper the meeting rooms, sigh.

Oh but we’re all greatly cheered in the office today by this item of charming news about a man in the States saving a brood of ducklings. You absolutely must watch the video – it’s fabulous! Joel Armstrong, Duck-Man Extraordinare, is definitely my Hero of the Month. In fact I was so moved that I wrote a tanka (Japanese-style verse with 31 syllables divided into lines of 5/7/5/7/7 – and yes I did have to look it up too) about them. I quite like tankas. So much so that I then wrote another one about a moorhen (it’s obviously a day with a strong bird focus …). Might even try to write more of them as and when (though I suspect that’s the limit for today) – there’s certainly extra room to breathe compared to a haiku, that’s for sure.

Tonight, I shall pop into see Gladys on the way home, and then I’m planning to watch the poetry programme on television tonight. Even though it has Simon Armitage in it, and really I can’t stand his stuff. Hopefully there won’t be much of it (bitch, bitch ...).

And I’ve very much enjoyed Kate Williams’ biography of Emma Hamilton, entitled England’s Mistress. It’s lively, fascinating and well worth the read. I loved Williams’ very human writing style and she paints an in-depth picture of the woman and the age she lived in. Emma’s like a historical version of Posh, but with a barrel-load of wit and compassion. Great stuff.

In the meantime, if you haven't already donated to my attempt to raise money for Cancer Research, the link is here. And many thanks indeed to those who've already given. Not long now till the race on 6 June!!

Today’s nice things:

1. Poetry, of all shapes and sizes
2. The Alzheimer’s coffee-table book
3. The duck-man
4. Poetry on TV
5. Books.

Anne Brooke - something of a charity case herself
Cancer Research Race for Life - please give generously!

Poetry, coots and the Archive Queen

Thrilled with getting back to my routine, here’s this morning’s meditation:

Meditation 126

When the dream
explodes in your blood

and the bright star
you lived by

turns crimson,
you can do nothing

but carry the knowledge
of destruction,

tasting it
deep on your tongue.

It’s a fairly quiet day at the office today – though as always the spectre of meetings is lurking and the parental guidelines document is drifting around at street corners looking suspicious. Mind you, I’ve got a heck of a lot of filing to do and the boss has finally uncovered his archiving bucket. Joy indeed. Thankfully, I’ve had to put in a new order for extra archiving boxes as there’s nowhere to put it, so at least I can hold off that doubtful pleasure until another time, hurrah …

Oh and the office quote of the week (from next door’s office, I hasten to add – we probably have a couple of years or so to go yet before we get there) and said in humour is: This office is a hub of menopausal sweat. Brilliant! I feel it’s a line I might well use in a book one day …

Went for a walk round campus at lunchtime – we appear to be in April weather mode: one minute sun and the next rain. My dears, I really have no idea what to wear. But as that’s pretty normal for me, I’m not too bothered. Anyway, it was nice to sit by the lake and watch the rapidly growing-up but still highly fluffy baby coots. That cheered me greatly.

I’m hoping to pop into the hospital after work to see how the neighbour’s getting along. I’m seriously out of the loop, what with being out of action for a week. UPDATE: Henry seems much better so that's good news indeed. Am hoping the improvement continues.

And I’m still pondering on my mental health short story – it’s rather surreal and obsessed, but heck I should probably be used to that as well, eh. UPDATE: I've finished the first pass through - I think I'll let it lie for a while and see how I feel about it in a few days.

Today’s nice things:

1. Poetry
2. Quote of the week
3. Lunchtime walks
4. Baby coots
5. Short stories.

Anne Brooke - the archiving Queen
Cancer Research Race for Life - please give generously to help beat cancer

Cancellations, False Colors and book groups

Look! I’m back reading my bible, so I must be getting better, thank the Lord – here’s this morning’s meditation:

Meditation 125

Add nothing
to what you see

and take nothing away.
Leave the earth

as you found it
and let your breath

be a whisper
on the wind

heard only by God.

At work, the boss is ill, poor chap (it’s not really been a good year so far for office illnesses …) so I’ve cancelled his meetings for today and hope he’s on the mend tomorrow. One of the meetings to fall by the wayside was our monthly Care Services Steering Group, so I’ve kept the sandwiches order (it’s too late to cancel them anyway) and will bring it up to our new offices as an informal get-together for whoever is around. UPDATE: Not many were around but hell we ate them anyway. What heroes we are.

Tonight, it’s the University book group, so I’m planning to go to that. We’re discussing the marvellous Kate Fox’s Watching the English which I loved, so hopefully they’ll be some lively debate there. You can never trust the English, after all – we’re a funny lot. UPDATE - it was wonderful. A really good discussion, made all the more interesting by the presence of an American lady in the group. Fascinating stuff indeed.

Talking of good reads, I must say Alex Beecroft’s GLBT historical romance False Colors is a total and absolute pleasure. The plot is marvellous and terribly exciting – and heck I don’t even usually go for seafaring novels, but there’s a perfect and very real level of detail there which meant I felt part of the whole scenario without being overwhelmed by it. The characters were gripping, well-rounded and very human – even the minor characters felt real. Plus the level and detail of sex was just right. I can thoroughly recommend it and look forward to more. In fact, I’m hoping to do a more in-depth review of this one, plus take a brief look at the new GLBT historical romance line from Running Press (from whence it comes) for a future Vulpes Libris article, so watch this space … In the meantime, I’m working on a short story with the theme, Lost and Found. It appears to be shaping up into a tale about mental health or the lack of it. Hmm, how I like a challenge, eh. Why can’t I write happy at all these days?...

Finally, I’m delighted to say that Every Day Poets will be publishing my poem, Blutherbung, sometime in the near future, so that’s lovely news, hurrah.

Today’s nice things:

1. Poetry
2. Informal sandwich chats
3. Books.

Anne Brooke - the queen of cancellations ...
Cancer Research Race for Life - where every penny counts!

Gardens, sculpture and stories

A very lazy morning today. I must say that one of the good things about being on the mend but not quite well yet is the fact that you don't have to stick to your routine. Hurrah. Though you still have the safety of it to run to if you need to. Double hurrah. So this morning I thought about going to church, but decided that sneezing and coughing on the old folk was probably not a wise idea still, so had a lie-in instead. Bliss.

The good literary news of this morning is that I have finally tracked down the paperback version of Painting from Life on Amazon US. You can find it here. As you can see, the reason I've been struggling is that they have no idea how to spell my surname. Sigh. Still, I'm way too terrified to complain in case they unilaterally ditch me anyway for being too gay a writer, so I shall say nothing. Discretion is the better part of the proverbial, after all.

Before lunch, Lord H and I decided it would be a good idea if I did attempt to leave the flat before work tomorrow - I haven't seen the outside world at all since Wednesday, alas. So we've been for a brief but very relaxing walk round the Birtley House Sculpture Trail. Just beat the rain too. What stars we are. The House itself is actually an old people's care home and looks very charming - so Lord H and I are booking our places there in advance. Before the rush starts, eh.

For the rest of the day, I've struggled and groaned in the effort to squeeze another few words out for Hallsfoot's Battle and have just managed to get myself into the 119,000 word range. I really can't do any more though - it's making my head implode and, before long, I shall start to hate it and curse that wretched Simon in truth. Bloody scribes, eh - you can't trust them. Right now, I feel like printing the whole damn thing out and stamping up and down on it whilst foaming at the mouth and yodelling. Which is pretty normal for me at this stage in a novel, I must admit. But rather disconcerting for Lord H. Ah well.

I've now read Erastes' historical gay romance novel, Transgressions. The writing is certainly smoother than her earlier novel, Standish, but the characters in Transgressions don't really grab me, I'm afraid. This may of course be because I was so in love with the dark and mysterious Rafe, and the amoral, charming and criminal Fleury in Standish that nothing afterwards will ever be the same and I still think of them and wonder how they are even now - but I do feel that David and Jonathan (not a good naming idea, in my opinion) in Transgressions were simply too nice to be gripping. I wasn't wholly convinced by the Jonathan-as-witchfinder story arc either - though it was delightful I admit to be back in my home county of Essex for a large section of that. All-out favourite passage about Essex was:

"This is a strange county and it has more legends and evil associated with it than any other I know. It is also home to these mists which are strange, changeable and too thick to be natural."

Superb and soooo true! We rural Essex Gals have always been strange, changeable and too thick to be natural. It's part of our genes. I learnt how to drive in those dang impenetrable sea mists - and even now I'm pretty handy if I find myself in a car in a fog. It's all done by feel and instinct, you know.

Tonight, Lord H and I hope to finally get round to watching the video of Compulsion which we recorded some weeks ago and which I have been too ill or too busy to watch ever since. So I am gearing myself up for angst, naughtiness and trauma. Sounds like a normal Saturday night in my home county then ...

This week's haiku (with a hint of desperation):

Career of the week:
coughing, sneezing, spluttering
Queen of the Lemsips.

Today's nice things:

1. The paperback version of Painting from Life now being available
2. Sculpture parks
3. TV
4. Haikus.

Anne Brooke - definitely too thick to be natural
Cancer Research Race for Life - helping you help women with cancer

Back to the battle, a gay solution and a competition prize

Still getting there on the health front today, slowly slowly. A lot of coughing and snorting - in fact I'm thinking of applying for a job as an old horse, should one be up for grabs anywhere. Really, I'd be brilliant. We've also been continuing to laugh a lot at MPs. Such joy to know that the criminals are all safely gathered in one place: Parliament. Ho hum.

We're also smiling at the Church Times which, as always, manages to grab the last word on the religious issue of the day - in response to the recent appalling news about the London conference encouraging homosexual people to be "turned straight" (Lord preserve us from such idiocy, we cry ...), one of their literature-focused columnists suggests that in fact the world would be a lot more pleasant and far more moral if there was a programme to turn us all gay - then Macbeth would have shacked up with Duncan rather than murdering him, Jane Eyre would have managed to talk Mrs Rochester down from the roof and Romeo would have settled down happily in Verona with Mercutio. There's much to be said for it indeed - where do we all sign up??

Meanwhile, I've finally got myself back into writing more of Hallsfoot's Battle and am now at 118,500 words. Mind you, I'm getting hugely twitchy now and I just want to (CAPITALS DELIBERATE) GET THIS DANG FIRST DRAFT FINISHED and have a bloody good lie-down. Please??? I'm sooo nearly at the end of the wretched battle scene, then I have to finish the mopping up, get Simon, Ralph, Johan and Annyeke in the places where they should be and I'm done. Honestly, it's as if I can glimpse the finish line in the distance, but the sweat in my eyes is meaning the whole damn thing's a bit blurred and I'm not sure I'll get there in one piece. Or, more accurately maybe, it's like a piece of classical music Lord H and I were listening to on the radio a few days ago where just as you thought they'd played the final chord, there was another ... and another ... and then another. And only THEN was it over. Writing the end - or trying oh so desperately to write the end - of Hallsfoot is hugely like that. Goddammit. I'm tired, I've had it up to here and I need to start something else. Soon.

But there's more positive literary news too, thank the Lord. The lovely people at First Edition Magazine are offering a complete and signed set of my novels as a competition prize in their June edition - which is out now in WHSmith's, hurrah! My name is even on the front in a big red circle, so that's lovely. I'm just hoping and praying that some kind people out there might actually enter the competition (the answers are easy and can be found either in my interview in the May edition or on my website, hint hint ...) -as the humiliation if nobody enters and they have to ditch the books or (worse!) send them back to me doesn't really bear thinking about. Though of course I am doing nothing else but thinking about that scenario, sigh ...

Tonight, I'm gearing myself up for the joys of Primeval and then we must watch as much of Eurovision as we can bear. The honour of the country, don't you know. Ho ho. It won't be the same without Sir Terry however - and I really don't think much of that dreadful UK entry. I tried to listen to it on YouTube earlier in the week and could only manage about 30 seconds without losing the will to live. So, bearing in mind the undoubted influence of my cultural opinion on the music (or indeed any other) business, that probably means the damn thing will be an outright winner. Lord preserve us once more.

Today's nice things:

1. Church Times articles
2. Limping to the finish with Hallsfoot, slowly
3. Being a competition prize - at last, at last!
4. TV.

Anne Brooke - aiming high at nul points ...
Cancer Research Race for Life - all donations very gratefully received

A novel to die for

Have stayed in the flat today with a major focus on getting better, so cancelled golf with Marian, which was a bit of a shame. But in the end I think it was a wise choice as I do feel on the mend more now. If seriously tired.

But the good news is that I am now included as a regular reviewer on the Vulpes Libris site, so that's lovely. And in preparation for being able to get in and book review posting time, I've spent the morning writing up a full review of Caroline Rance's wonderful novel, Kill-Grief, and here's a very brief taster of that review:

".... The novel tells the story of Mary Helsall, who arrives in Chester in 1756, carrying her own bitter secrets but determined to carve a future for herself, despite the men who lay claim to her, body and soul. The setting is so densely and sharply described that it becomes a character in itself, and carries equal billing with the marvellous character of Mary. In essence, it's dark and rich and strong, like the best brandy, and I can thoroughly recommend it ..."

More like this please, Caroline ...

Other than that, I've spent a large part of the day asleep. I've eaten one bowl of cereals and one half-coated chocolate chip cookie. That was nice. I'm drinking bucket-loads of Lucozade. And I'm doing an awful lot of coughing. In fact, I think I may well be the best cougher in Surrey. Possibly the UK. My tissue supply might be running low too, but I shall worry about that tomorrow.

Oh, and I forgot to say that for some reason the US tax office have rejected my claim for literary tax relief, so I have to fill in the forms again and send them off. It appears I may not need to go up to London and go through the whole process a second time though - which is a blessed relief. But I think if this attempt fails, I may well simply grit my teeth and accept the double tax whammy. After all, it's not as if I actually earn anything to make a third try worthwhile - but for the sake of those wonderful people (thank you hugely, Clare & Sharon!) who talked me through the process and emailed lots of support, a second go will be had. Watch this space ...

Finally, Chris Brown from new media agency, Chris Brown Media is kindly helping me with an upcoming book trailer for A Dangerous Man as a low-cost way of building up his post-University portfolio - so thank you, Chris, and I'm looking forward to seeing what you might come up with.

Today's nice things:

1. Writing a review for Kill-Grief
2. Books
3. A Dangerous Man potential book trailer.

Anne Brooke - down but not yet out
Cancer Research Race for Life - give generously to help others ...

A nearly Foxy Lady and an interview request

Another fairly brief blog, I suspect - should I start cornering the market in the potential new fashion of Haiku Blogs, I wonder? - as I must admit I've taken rather a turn for the worse today. So I haven't gone up to London to see Jane W and the Baroque art exhibition at the V&A, as planned. Bummer, eh. Instead I've lolled around, attempted to cure my galloping head cold and my apparently unstoppable cough in the usual ways and have also done a hell of a lot of sleeping. Still, it's not so far as bad as my horrifying two-week bout of illness in April, so I'm hoping it stays that way. There's always a silver lining, eh.

Anyway, to the nice news: first off, the lovely Rosy Barnes, author of Sadomasochism for Accountants (a book with far more than just bite ...!), has kindly asked me to join the regular team of foxy book reviewers on the Vulpes Libris review site, so I'm thrilled to be asked and more than thrilled to accept. Thanks, Rosy! I hope I can live up to your top-class foxy act indeed.

The other nice news is that Writers' News Magazine will be writing a piece about me and Painting from Life for one of their forthcoming editions - so thanks, Emma, for the interview and I shall look forward to seeing that for sure.

Sticking to matters literary, I've been sort of middlingly-whelmed by the Peter Robinson omnibus of short stories (entitled Not Safe After Dark as a collection) and its accompanying one Inspector Banks novel (A Necessary End). There are about 800 pages in total - and I was deeply confused about the chapter numbering system in the novel I must say as it seemed to follow a scheme entirely of its own - and all of them were ... um ... okay. Ish. There's nothing hugely bad about it (though the updated follow-on short story of Measure for Measure was simply gross and totally unnecessary), and there's nothing hugely good either. It's um ... fine. It passes the time if you don't want anything challenging, gripping or moving to read. Good then if you have an apparently high illness factor, like me! But it does beg the question as to why this sort of white-noise literature can be published when so many really good, kick-ass writers can't find a publisher for love nor the proverbial. It's a mystery. One I suspect the (not terribly pleasant) Inspector Banks really couldn't solve. Sigh.

Today's nice things:

1. The chance to be a foxy lady - at last!
2. The Writers' News interview
3. Sleep.

Anne Brooke - a throat like barbed wire but she means well
Cancer Research Race for Life - donating where it matters

A quiet day and another review

Today I’m still quite croaky and sneezing a lot, but it’s better than yesterday, hurrah. Hey, I might even be allowed back into normal society soon. Hmm, can normal society (whatever that is) cope with that??

However, I'm cheered greatly by a very kind review of Painting from Life by the very talented Sharon Maria Bidwell who says the following on her blog today:

"I adored this short story of love as we seldom examine it; that love has many forms and many uses, fulfilling a variety of needs, all different, all necessary to our well-being. The first thought to strike me hard was that Anne Brooke paints beauty into a lined, lived-in face, and I’m very grateful that she does in a world where beauty is so often marked not by time but the skill of a surgeon. This very fact gives the story a depth right from the start that is missing in many books. The second thing to strike me was how descriptively she illustrates the problem all creative people face between living their day-to-day lives and spending time with their muse...and, in some cases, preferably with their muse. There’s a quintessential eeriness to this story reminiscent of the unfounded belief that the camera steals our souls along with our likenesses...for why else does an old man grow weaker as the artist paints him, except from human frailty and life, of course. This story leaves a disturbing, bittersweet taste, yet is undeniably haunting and memorable. Well worth the read!"

Thanks very much, Sharon - I really appreciate that!

Back in the office, we’re all having a lot of fun with the new national sport of laughing at MPs and their expenses. We thought we might set ourselves up as moat cleaning experts and wait for the money to roll in. Actually I really rather fancy a moat. Though I’m not sure it’s something I can justifiably ask Estates & Facilities to provide. And if Lord H and I started digging one at home, I’d only worry about the neighbours falling into it. They’re not in the first flush of youth, after all. Ho hum.

At work, I’m busy writing up the notes that the lovely Rosemary took at the rather complex meeting I missed on Monday. I must say her handwriting is a hundred times better than the boss’s, so that side of it is a joy. But I do think they seem to have discussed much the same things that were discussed at the meeting last month, but in a different order. Ah the life of a Minutes Secretary is a rollercoaster ride, don’t you know.

I was planning to stay inside where it’s warm at lunchtime, eat my special Starbucks prawn sandwich and read a book – but I forgot to bring the book, dammit. So I’ll have to find something else to distract me. Mind you, my spirits were raised by my first Starbucks decaff cappuccino in the new office. Wonderful – tastes just as nice as it did in the old office. The only problem is the longer walk rather more open to the elements to get it, but hey that’s splitting hairs.

Tonight, we’re staying in and I’m medicating with Lemsip whilst wondering why once again there’s nothing on TV. I’ll have to do a Sudoku instead and wait for the schedules to improve. From the look of next week’s Radio Times though, it isn’t going to be soon. We’re also fascinated by the local candidates for the upcoming European elections – all the usual suspects are represented and then there’s also about six or seven parties with a variety of names, all of whom basically hate Europe. How very Surrey. Oh, and let’s not forget the one sad representative of the Roman Party. What the heck do they stand for? A return to the Empire?? Who knows …

Today’s nice things:

1. A review for Painting from Life
2. Laughing at MPs and their moats
3. Prawn sandwiches
4. Decaff cappuccino
5. Sudokus.

Anne Brooke
Cancer Research Race for Life - please give generously!...

The secret life of sex writing

A small but perfectly formed (if I even dare say that!...) blog today:

First off, am very pleased to see that my article on writing sex is now at the Strictly Writing website – so it’s the place to go for hot tips on ... um ... sex. As it were. Enjoy!

Meanwhile, I’m back at work. Sneezing a lot and generally being avoided. I decided against wearing a big hat, just in case people got twitchy … And I’ve managed to deal with – or at least print out and put in a pile - all 103 of my outstanding emails, hurrah. Plus a big vote of thanks has to go to Ruth and Rosemary who, between them, dealt with my two meetings yesterday. What stars they are indeed.

Had a late lunch and popped to Tesco to pick up some items which Lord H (who kindly did the shopping yesterday) didn’t get. Also remembered to buy some lunch as I didn’t fancy my usual rice and fish concoction today. Too damn healthy. Bring on the ruddy chocolate. In so many ways, eh ...

Tonight, we should have been going to see the Star Trek film, but really I don’t want to infect the whole of Guildford, so am staying at home instead. Not a lot on TV, but I might just watch it aimlessly anyway. Doesn’t have to be on. Though I do have a couple of poems floating round my head, so it's probably best to try to get them onto paper before my brain implodes. Better out than in, as they say. Ho ho.

Today’s nice things:

1. The sex article
2. Coping with emails
3. Resting and, hopefully, getting better
4. Poetry.

Anne Brooke
Race for Life - helping Cancer Research

Reviews, poems and sniffles

Dammit, but I'm ill again. Was up at 3am having Lemsip and have taken the day off work. Fortunately, I don't think it's anything more than a sudden and rather virulent head cold so there's none of the usual nasty stuff. But it's a bit of a bummer and I feel hugely guilty as I was supposed to minute two meetings today, so it means someone else will have had to do them and everyone's up to their eyebrows with work anyway. I really can't afford to be ill. I'm hoping to be well enough for tomorrow so am medicating up to the limit. At least I'm sneezing now, which is always a good thing.

Mind you, the lovely news is that I've had two very positive reviews for Painting from Life, so that's cheering me up:

The first is from regular Livejournal reviewer, Elisa Rolle, who starts off her review like this: "Painting from Life is a story of obsession, like it should be when you are talking of art, since only a work born from an artist who suffered to create it is worthy of that name. But in an almost Dorian Gray twist, the artist of this short story takes strength from his art while his muse is slowly dying ...". The rest of her review can be read here. Thank you, Elisa!

My second review is from another regular GLBT fiction reviewer, Ann Somerville, who calls Painting from Life "a story about love in its purest form" and the rest of Ann's review can be found on the Unique Logophilos review site. Many thanks, Ann.

And, to add to the general literary rejoicing, my poem, Sun-dance, has just been published at the Ink Sweat & Tears webzine, so thank you once more, Charles, for accepting that one. Much appreciated.

For the rest of the day, I've caught up on the missed episodes of Primeval and Boy Meets Girl (the video failed to work properly as the reception was rubbish, sigh ...) - both of which were well worth it. I particularly like the way BMG is shaping up nicely to be a rather snazzy study of male/female behaviour and gender assignment, with a light touch. Nice one. Mind you, it took me a while to work out how to get the i-player on the ITV website to work, but I got there in the end.

Later I might try to squeeze in a nap before I actually have to go to bed - if you see what I mean. I think I need it. Otherwise, I'm planning absolutely nothing but an attempt to get better, hurrah.

Today's nice things:

1. Two good reviews of Painting from Life
2. Sun-dance being published
3. TV catch-ups.

Anne Brooke
Race for Life - helping women with cancer

Surviving murder and a little writing success

Must say the murder mystery weekend was certainly an experience. I'm not sure that the hotel, the actors or the other guests were quite ready for the combined and barely contained lunacy of the Egypt Group (as that set of friends has been named), but we all muddled through relatively unscathed. I suspect it's one of the those things you just have to do once. If you know what I mean! However, honour was satisfied, as Chris from the EG (well done, Chris!) cracked the case and won the bottle of champagne by a stroke of pure genius. Whereas the booby price (a lemon for me, hurrah!) went to Yours Truly for an off-the-wall and I think brilliantly inspired solution to the murders, in which the true culprits were the camel and Mustafa in a tale of ambition, lust, revenge, despair, loss, grief, love and ultimately redemption. Just sounds like the usual weekend then, really ... Anyway, it was great to catch up with the Egypt Group, as ever, plus we managed to create a group salute (no, I really can't describe it) which we then taught to the acting troupe. Never say I'm not meant to be in the world for a purpose. Not only that, but Lord H and I spotted sky-larks, a red kite and swifts, so I think that at least two of those are new birds for this year.

Oh and we all had a trip out on Saturday afternoon (free non-murder time!) and had a great time at the Yellow Hat Tribe Gallery which is a truly wonderful place with a lovely artist who was very happy to chat with us and who is a genuinely nice woman. I bought teatowels, cards and a marvellous canvas bag. The yellow hat motif and what Irene Tyack makes of it can't help but make you smile.

Back home, I discover that I have a rejection from some people with apparently very poor taste for a selection of poetry (what can they be thinking??!), but also that two of my stories have been published over the weekend, so that's perked me up for sure:

The first is a romantic comedy - The Driving Force about a kind-hearted taxi driver and a rather confused couple.

The second is a somewhat darker piece of flash fiction about the end of a relationship - The End of Winter.

I suspect that you'll either love one and hate the other, or hold to the other and despise the one. As they say.

And let's not forget this week's haiku:

Directing traffic:
red kite over the M4
with triangle tail.

Today's nice things:

1. Murder Mystery weekends
2. The Egypt Group, and all who sail in her (as it were!)
3. The Yellow Hat Tribe Gallery
4. Story publications.

Anne Brooke
Race for Life - helping Cancer Research

Something's afoot ...

Am still recovering from yesterday's amazing Eternal Press online launch party. It was really something. I can honestly say that it's the first time a commercial publisher has actually celebrated the publication of one of my books, rather than letting it slip into the market with half a shrug and a rather embarrassed giggle. And Painting from Life is not even a novel, but a short story. It's made such a big difference to how I feel about it - and I haven't even had to run around organising anything myself. Hell, but that's really really nice. Thank you, Eternal Press - from now on, I'm a huge fan of Canadian publishing.

This morning, Marian and I should have been playing golf, but the sudden downpours put an end to those hopes. Though, bizarrely, I noticed that half an hour after we should have started playing, it was nice and sunny again. Typical eh. But, to be fair, I did need the extra time gained from the day, if only to get my writing (rather than my celebrating) head on - I'm now at the 117,500 word level in Hallsfoot's Battle so it feels nice and normal to get back into it again. I'll be taking the whole lot of them to the great Gathandrian Library in the next phase - it just seems right to have the final battle scenes there. I also have vague ideas as to how that will be, and I'm hoping both Simon and Annyeke can step up to the mark. With or without the mind-cane. We'll see.

And I must say you must all absolutely dash out now and buy Kate Fox's marvellous non-fiction book, Watching the English. It's wonderful - light and bright and wise and funny. And oh soooo true. I can't recommend it enough. I've been laughing out loud at some of the passages, seeing my own and other English people's behaviour in a whole new light and generally thoroughly enjoying the experience. It was a shock to realise that other nations aren't like us - how can this be??? Lordy, even that last statement shows how very English I am, ho ho ... Anyway Lord H also reminded me, just after I'd started it, that we've actually met Kate Fox. Pause for a very English class-ridden but utterly true story - we'd been invited to the races at Goodwood (oh, dahhhlings, you mean you haven't been?? How utterly shocking ...!) as a thank you for an event I'd arranged for my previous company, and Kate Fox gave a presentation on the English at the races. She was very funny, very astute and totally charming - just like her book. Go buy it now.

This afternoon, Lord H and I are donning our deer-stalkers and picking up our magnifying glasses as we'll be spending a weekend with our lovely Egypt friends at a murder mystery event at the Sudbury House Hotel. Oh please please, let me be the one that finds the body and let there be a knife!! That would be so excellent, ah in so many ways. Hmm, go with a friend, come home alone ... It should certainly be an eye-opener. I reckon Lord H did it, you know. He has that slightly mad Pope look in his eye. If you don't hear from me again, tell the police all you know ...

Have a great weekend, whatever you're doing, and I'll catch up with you on Monday! One hopes.

Today's nice things:

1. Eternal Press parties
2. Writing Hallsfoot
3. Books
4. Murder Mystery weekends.

Anne Brooke
Race for Life - supporting Cancer Research

Painting from Life launch day and other writing excitements

Goodness, what an exciting day I'm having! There's so much news I really don't know where to start. Let's try and keep it simple, eh.

First off, Painting from Life, my short story about erotic and artistic obsession, has just been published and you can find out more information and read an excerpt on its page at Eternal Press.



You can also enjoy the book trailer, and as yet another special treat, here's the blurb:

"Love is never what you think. When a painter goes beyond the degree of intimacy that provides the connection between him and his newly-discovered muse, he is forced to undergo a re-evaluation of the true meaning of love. In a strange twist on the Dorian Gray theme, perhaps the artist steals the subject’s essence as love and art meld into one."

Not only that, but the online launch party, including excerpts, insights and competitions, has lasted all day and if you like you can still join in the fun at the Eternal Press Readers Yahoo Group. There's still time to open that bottle of virtual - or indeed real - champagne!

The second literary excitement is this:

My upcoming novel, The Bones of Summer, now has brand-new cover art - which I'm hugely pleased with, and a brand-new blurb, both of which I attach below:



"When Craig Robertson's religious fanatic father disappears, Craig is forced to return to the home he'd left behind after an underage affair in order to look for answers. His new lover, private investigator Paul Maloney, agrees to help so they can continue to enjoy their fledgling relationship. During his initial search, Craig finds items that belonged to Michael, his lover in that long-ago ill-fated affair, and soon discovers that Michael has disappeared as well. The search becomes an investigation into Craig's past, and, because of distressing gaps in his memory, he's terrified of the truths he might find. Finally Craig tells Paul his deepest fear: that Michael is dead and he himself is responsible. While Paul refuses to believe his lover is a murderer, Craig's obsession with uncovering clues grows, and their fragile relationship begins to disintegrate. Now on his own, haunted and stalked, Craig has to face down the horror of his memories if he wants to have any hope of a future at all."

My goodness, that'll be a rollercoaster ride for sure - in so many ways. I can hardly wait till it's published on 22 June!

So, really, I've spent most of my day being involved in the Painting from Life virtual launch party, doing loads of marketing and updating my website and everything else online I can think of. With all that, I didn't have breakfast till gone 11am and didn't get dressed till 12.30pm - shame on me ... Sounds like a typical writer, eh - but I've been busy, honest. That said, I've also managed to squeeze in making a book trailer for The Bones of Summer, which I'm very pleased with and which I'll upload nearer the time. That'll be the third video I've made, so I'm becoming quite the Ang Lee of Godalming. Ho ho.

Oh and I've booked tickets for Lord H and myself to go and see the hugely exciting new Star Trek film next Tuesday - I can barely contain myself!

Tonight, the launch party continues, but I must find time to pack as we're away with our lovely Egypt friends on a Murder-Mystery weekend in Swindon (gosh!) at the weekend, so I must make sure to take a magnifying glass and a deer-stalker in order to look for clues ...

Today's nice things:

1. The publication and launch of Painting from Life
2. The Bones of Summer cover art
3. Book trailers
4. Booking the Star Trek tickets.

Anne Brooke
Cancer Research Race for Life - just £35 to go to match our fundraising target!

The Bones of Summer cover ...

here's a sneak preview:



You can find out more about this gay crime book at The Bones of Summer website page.

Anne Brooke

Painting from Life book trailer!

It's launch day for my mysterious short story, Painting from Life, hurrah!

So, as a special treat, here's the book trailer:




More details to follow when the launch party starts later today!

Anne Brooke

Rocks and a pair of wicked women

Now, there’s a title to conjure with, eh. Something of a mad rush to get to work today, but here’s this morning’s poem:

Meditation 124

Across the river
everything will be different

and heaven will live
on your skin.

Pour out
the blood you shed

like water
onto waiting ground

and listen.

On the subject of poetry, I’ve also written a poem about leaving the city. It’s nice to do a non-meditation piece every now and then. Just to see if I can. And I’m very happy to say that two of my stories have been published either yesterday evening or today. Firstly, there’s my Biblical short story, The Rock, which can be found here , and a comic piece of flash fiction about a rather wicked woman (or two), Woman on Top, can be found here. I hope you enjoy both the reads – they’re very different.

Oh and there’s strange news about Maloney’s Law on Amazon US and A Dangerous Man at Amazon UK – some kind reader appears to have bought a copy or two of each and for a brief period yesterday both actually had a bestseller list ranking. That’s not there now, mind you, but it was lovely while it lasted. So double gosh and thank you indeed to whoever bought them.

Meanwhile, at work, we’re settling into our new lives and even the printers are working, hurrah. Plus we have a lovely water machine in the new shared kitchen which provides filtered cold water at all times. Bliss. Mind you, on the negative side, I’ve had to return to those corrections to the long-running parental guidelines document. Not sure I’m making entire sense of them either, but I’m doing my best. UPDATE: I did them, ye gods and little fishes, and have now sent them out to various people for comments, so let’s see what comes back …

The office move means that my lunchtime walk around campus was slightly different, but I’m sure I shall get used to it in time. I’m nothing without my strict geographical routine, you know. Anyway, it was very relaxing to sit by the lake and admire the one and only duckling there appears to be (what happened to the others?? I fear the worst, Carruthers …). I’ve also thoroughly christened the new office by having my first decaff Starbucks here. Ah, it makes it a home from home, you know.

Tonight, I’ll pop into hospital to see the neighbour on the way home – I’m hoping he’s on the mend now, poor chap. And as far as my erotic short story goes, I’ve got the first draft written (hurrah!) and I need to start the edits tonight. I do like the ending I’ve given it – which is not what I anticipated when I started it off at all, but I think it works.

Today’s nice things:

1. Poetry
2. The publication of The Rock and Woman on Top
3. Brief Amazon bestseller rankings for Maloney and A Dangerous Man
4. The new office
5. Lunchtime walks, revisited
6. Starbucks
7. Short stories.

Anne Brooke
Race for Life - so nearly at the £250 aim for Cancer Research

The big move and the joys of reading

Before we get into the general kerfuffle of the day, here’s this morning’s meditation:

Meditation 123

The blessing
and the curse of God

focus, it seems,
on war
or the absence of war.

You would have thought
there’d be some other measure

for happiness.

Talking of matters literary, it's lovely to see a mention for A Dangerous Man in The Obsidian Bookshelf reviewer perspective. Even now Michael is preening himself for being in such good company ... Oh, and my article on the joys and importance of reading for writers, and indeed everyone else, is now up at The View From Here Magazine so pop along and find out all about my peculiar youthful reading habits (which probably explains a lot) and more. Go on, you know you want to ...

And I've thoroughly enjoyed reading Fiona Doloughan's chapbook, Repetition and Difference. Very lyrical and also accessible indeed - it reminded me a lot of Keats. Which is always a good thing. And I thought the haiku sequence was stunning. As Fiona is a member of the English Department at the University, I'm afraid the book isn't available commercially (which is a crying shame, to my mind), but I can thoroughly recommend her poems, should she ever decide to go public.

Apart from that, my whole day has been taken up with moving our offices from Oak House to the posh venue of Senate House third floor. After the initial panic, it’s actually been surprisingly okay and at 4pm I am actually set up on my desk, with a working phone, a working computer and a lamp, hurrah. I can’t print anything but hey I’m not worried, yet. I even have all my fluffy pens and snowstorms on the desk smiling at me so all is relatively okay in Anne’s world, double hurrahs. Nice offices too, though the kitchen is smaller. But hey we have a toilet that we don’t have to go outside for, so that’s a definite plus point. It almost balances out the sadness of no longer being near Starbucks, eh. Almost.

The main problem that’s arisen is for some reason they started repainting the boss’s new office this morning, so he wasn’t able to unpack anything into it until later this afternoon, dammit. Not the ideal plan really. What was wrong with repainting last week exactly?...

Mind you, I’ve managed to get some computer work done and dealt with most of my emails, so I have a halo of office competence hovering over my head. Won’t last, I can guarantee it.

Tonight, I’m going to pop into see Gladys on my way home and run the gauntlet of the nurse door opening procedures, groan. After that I’ll be collapsing in a heap on the sofa. I can’t decide whether to catch up with last night’s video of Compulsion or get some more done to my erotic short story. Ah decisions, decisions, eh …

Today’s nice things:

1. Poetry
2. A mention for A Dangerous Man
3. The reading article
4. The new office
5. An indoor toilet
6. TV/short story – whichever comes first.

Anne Brooke
Race for Life - help beat cancer

Rejections, career thoughts and a literary sex-fest

Was rather sent reeling by a rejection by the last publisher I'd sent my poetry chapbook, Salt and Gold, to yesterday. I don't know why - I'd fully expected to be rejected, as my poetry collections always are. So I don't know why I was so horribly upset but I was. God knows why I even bother thinking of commercial publication for my poetry anyway. I mean they only sell out when I'm paying the money raised to charity, as in my first collection, Tidal. My second collection, A Stranger's Table, sold the grand total of eleven copies and the rest I gave away to friends as presents. One writing friend (so really there's no excuse and I'd never dream of doing this, ever ...) even said she'd buy a copy and give me the money later, and then after a couple of days she returned it, saying she'd read it, had thoroughly enjoyed the collection but she'd finished with it now and didn't need to pay. Lordy, no wonder I actually have very little confidence, no matter how much I walk the walk. As it were. But really, I should have learnt my lesson from all that. I think what I'll do from now on is simply self-publish my poetry collections online, and then people can ignore them or read them as they fancy. Without me having to put myself through the mill like this. It's not pleasant, believe me.

All this trying to find a way through the poetry minefield has reminded me that I started writing fiction in 2000, and said then that I'd give it ten years of trying to find a commercial publisher before having a very big rethink of the attempt at a writing vocation I've been trying to follow. Well, it's 2010 next year, and maybe I have to start preparing myself to tackle that rethink. Not that I haven't found a commercial publisher - I have. Three times. Four if you count the eBooks. But none of my previous publication "successes" have actually been at all successful. By any measure. Yes, several people do enjoy what I produce - and I'm hugely grateful to them for that. But I've never made any money from A Dangerous Man at all, Maloney's Law is selling very poorly and a couple of key gay reviewers have really disliked it which I don't think has helped, and the eBooks of Pink Champagne and Apple Juice and Thorn in the Flesh are also selling poorly. Or, more truthfully, not selling at all.

I do have the upcoming release of The Bones of Summer in June, but I'm trying not to be too hopeful about it as previous experience tells me that - for whatever reason, and to be honest I don't know what that reason is - I'm not as popular a writer as other gay fiction authors, and I simply can't keep up with their sales or readership levels. Meanwhile, there continues to be no news on the sale or otherwise of The Gifting. For that book, I plan to send it out one more time only over the summer, to a small publisher. If that fails, for my own sanity (not to mention Lord H's), I need to draw a line under it, self-publish it, if only for my own sense of completion, and then move on. As and when that scenario occurs, I also believe it to be time to part company from my agent - I simply can't take the agonised half-hope that by default having an agent brings, alongside the terrible sense of gloom when reality sets in.

With all that in mind, last night I went through my list of favourite websites and blogs of successful writers I keep on my system and deleted those who I don't think are doing or will do me any good, or who are making me feel even more despairing about the writing life (through, I hasten to add, no fault of their own) than I need to be. So if anyone out there discovers they've lost a blog follower, I apologise in advance if it's me, wish you all good luck in your career but I suspect you don't need the support as much as I need the space.

Anyway. Enough. To today. I had a lovely lie-in and didn't get up till 8.30am. Which is an extra two hours snoozing, hurrah. I then added some more words to that key battle scene in Hallsfoot's Battle, which brings me to the higher echelons of 116,000 words. I have a rough idea as to how the rest of the scene will go until the final victory arrives, but I'll take it slowly and see how it pans out. Oh, and here's this morning's meditation:

Meditation 122

What is lost
can a second time
be remade.

Damaged stone
can be recut
and vanished words

rewritten.
All through everything
you have done

or failed to do –
the tears at night
and the dim courage

of dawn,
God has never
ceased to listen.

Which somehow, bearing in mind the day's thoughts, probably makes sense. Of some kind or other. This afternoon, I popped up to the hospital as the neighbour isn't too good at the moment and had another chat with Gisela who was also there. Poor Henry though - I have a feeling he was rather overwhelmed by the amount of chat and general noise G and I can produce, but hell that's Surrey Gals for you, eh! I also took the opportunity to visit Tesco's next door to the hospital on the way out and bought lasagne and garlic bread and birdseed. Well, you have to keep those essentials in stock always, you know. It's astonishing I didn't buy chocolate really, but in my defence we do seem to have vast quantities of chocolate in the flat right now.

Tonight, I'm hoping to get round to watching my video of Boy Meets Girl, then there's Ashes to Ashes and I absolutely must video Compulsion, the bonkbuster sex-fest with Ray Winstone that's on the other side. Lordy I can't miss that. I would say it's because it's an update of that wonderful Jacobean tragedy, The Changeling, which is so utterly my period, dahlings. But that would be lying - hell, it's got sex in it. What more could you want??

Today's nice things:

1. Taking steps to alleviate pain
2. A lie in
3. Writing Hallsfoot
4. Poetry
5. TV.

Anne Brooke
Race for Life - supporting Cancer Research

Butterflies, birds and Basildon Park

Another day in the country today, though a different part of it, hurrah - but I did manage to get today's meditation poem squeezed in before we set off:

Meditation 121

Beyond the river
everything crystallises
into the possibility
of truth.

Flesh and bone
solidify dreams
and what is written once
will be written again

in fire.

Then it was a quick turn-round and an equally quick coffee and chat with the downstairs neighbour's daughter (hello, Gisela!) before making our way to Dinton Pastures Country Park in Berkshire. Which took rather longer than it should as we, somewhat foolishly, decided that the quickest route would be through Reading. Hmm. My advice is if you ever at any point in your life think that the quickest route to anywhere (apart from Reading itself) is through Reading, then think again. The signs are crap and the roads are worse and, thanks to my less than top-notch navigational skills, we actually ended up in Oxfordshire. In the Chilterns. Ho hum. However, the plus point is that, due to my complex set of detours, we did spot a red kite, which is our first one for this year, hurrah! So every cloud, etc etc ... And when we finally got to Dinton Pastures itself, it was a grand place indeed. With loos, which is always vital, I feel. Rather too many dogs for my liking though (I don't mind dogs - well, no, actually, I don't like them at all, but that doesn't fit in with my next phrase - but I couldn't eat a whole one) but still a very pleasant walk. We spotted some sandmartins and common terns (both new for this year in this country, though we did spot terns in Istanbul earlier in the year), and several orange tip butterflies. I love orange tip butterflies. Small and white and it looks as if their wingtips have been dipped into marmalade. Wonderful.

We then drove (with roughly equal amounts of confusion) to Basildon Park. Lunch was fabulous - full-on roast turkey followed by treacle tart and custard at very reasonable prices, though we did seem to enter the restaurant via the back passage (as it were), which confused everyone. Especially us. We then did a quick tour around the house - the Octagon Room is amazing and the Library is very cosy indeed. Though Lord H did point out that they didn't have as many books as we do - which may indeed be true but theirs are more neatly filed at least. He also stood in front of a picture showing a Classical soldier holding his headgear and opined: "Ah, the typical portrait of a soldier admiring his helmet ..." - which forced me to exit quickly from the room in question before hysteria set in. Thankfully, the rest of the folks around us seemed to take it seriously and nodded in agreement, but I fear that once word gets round, we may have our National Trust membership forcibly removed. I'm already known as the Woman Who Laughs at Jelly Moulds (found in every NT house across the land, sigh ...), so we may indeed be in injury time. Honestly, I can't take Lord H anywhere twice. I daren't ...

Anyway, moving rapidly on, and suitably fortified by essential English stodge (where would we be as a nation without it?), we set out on the full Park walk. Hmm, I wish now I'd taken the more genteel Park Walk. All I'll say is that was a bloody long four miles, Carruthers ... I was beginning to lose hope of ever seeing civilisation again, though at least the bluebells were good (though not quite as stunning as Mother's Essex bluebell wood offering). My feet are now utterly exhausted, dahlings. Still, I'm sure it's good for me. Isn't that my exercise ration for the month?? Oh and the joy about Basildon Park is they have a really, really good second hand book room where you can pick up whatever you like for £1. Wonderful. I purchased two books I've been meaning to read for a while, so that's saved me some money at least.

Tonight, I might do some more to Hallsfoot's Battle, but I'm not going to stress out about it too much. If it happens, it happens, eh. And here's this week's haiku:

At the division
of the paths, the wind blows through.
Hedges, fields, hills, sky.

Today's nice things:

1. Poetry
2. Birds
3. Butterflies
4. Sunday lunch at Basildon
5. Books
6. Hallsfoot - if I get to it
7. Haiku.

Anne Brooke
Anne's website - taking the slow road, whether she likes it or not
Race for Life - help support people with cancer

A day in the country and a fashion disaster

Lord H and I have spent a day in the country with Mother, having the Easter I was too ill to enjoy when it was actually here. If you see what I mean. Mind you, I got up early enough to be able to write today's meditation piece, so here it is:

Meditation 120

The words I read
tell me of poisonous snakes,
scorpions, desert, hardships
and time,

then rivers bringing forth wheat,
barley, grapes, figs,
pomegranates, olives
and honey

but today their meaning
slips over my skin,
like an uncaught memory
for that woman I used to be.

I find I quite like list poems these days - they're very grounding. And as my head is mainly somewhere in the vicinity of the ceiling most of the time, then grounding - of any kind - is good.

Anyway, it was also good to catch up with the Poison Poppet and Mr Grumpy once more (hello, Mother, if you're reading this, as you know appear to have found my blog, arrgghh!!...), Gawd bless 'em both. The day's huge, huge embarrassment - and indeed I hardly dare type this for the shame it will bring upon my head - is that when I arrived at the Essex Home for Crazed Folk, I realised that my mother and I were wearing exactly the same trousers - the blue cord pair from the Edinburgh Woollen Mill. Not only that but we discovered that when we'd bought them, we'd also bought the purple pair as they were on a special half-price offer. Lord preserve us. For nearly 46 years, I have based my whole existence on the absolute truth that I am nothing AT ALL like my mother, IN ANY WAY whatsoever. Now I find that we're virtually twins, except that I'm at least two foot taller than she is. Oh, the shame ... Truly, I fear I will never live this one down.

In the afternoon, when I was sure nobody would be around to see my obvious fashion disaster, we had a rather pleasant walk in the local bluebell wood. The smell from the flowers was gorgeous and there were huge numbers of them - literally a proverbial carpet of blue. Lovely. There was one point though when we caught sight of a rather fierce looking dog, with no obvious owner in sight - so naturally we sent Lord H on ahead to see if he'd be eaten. Husbands can be very useful, you know ... Anyway, the dog legged it, so we were able to pursue our rather Jane Austen-like walk unscathed. Phew.

Meanwhile, at the Crazed Folks' Home, the house martins are back and beginning to nest too, so that's good to see. Apparently they didn't turn up last year for some reason, but have now returned in full force, so Mother has messes on the window and early morning shrieking to look forward to once more - how like the home life of our own dear Queen indeed. Ooh, and I must say a huge thank you to PP and Mr G for generous contributions (offline) to our upcoming Race for Life charity event, which is slowly growing and now stands at £185. It would be great to make our £250 target, but I'm hopeful as there's still about a month to go. As a reminder, it's for Cancer Research, so a very good cause, if anyone out there is so inclined. For which thank you.

Tonight, once safely home, we have sat fascinated and terrified (at the same time) in front of a stonkingly good episode of Primeval. Great stuff indeed - in spite of the fact that it was very like Jurassic Park in lots of ways. We also felt it probably had enough going for it to be a series-end two parter, but it was not to be, alas. Still, great stuff for Saturday night viewing and we hope for more like that, please.

Today's nice things:

1. Poetry
2. Catching up with the old folk
3. Bluebells
4. House martins
5. TV.

Anne Brooke
Anne's website - at the cutting edge of something, but Lord knows what

Golf, war, and a dark gritty read

Couldn't really get a grip on today's Bible reading, I have to say. Usually something hits me fairly instantly but this morning it took a while, and I'm still not so sure about the piece I eventually dragged out of my head. Anyway, here it is:

Meditation 119

In front, a land
of corn, wine, olive oil,

and behind you
memories of war.

You walk the narrow line
between gift and submission

and wonder
when the first, false step

will bring down the clouds.

Oh and welcome to May. In the real world, that is. In the World According to Anne's Watch, it's actually the 31st April, so I'm in a kind of no-woman's land at the moment. Same old, same old, eh. I will have to rely on Lord H putting me into the right time zone when he comes back from work. It's way too complicated for me to do it myself.

Meanwhile, there's a couple of good slices of writing news, hurrah - first off, Laughter Loaf ezine has accepted my flash fiction piece, Woman on Top, for future publication. And Grey Sparrow Press will be publishing a couple of my meditation poems in the autumn. Always nice to get good news indeed.

I managed to get into the mid-levels of the 115,000 word range in Hallsfoot's Battle before golf, so I'm obviously having a focused day today. I'm into the final battle showdown now, and though there's more to come in the closing chapters, that'll about wrap up the action of it. So I should get into the 120,000 word range in total, which is where I wanted to be. Roughly. And all that just has to explain why I did so well with golf today. The best I've ruddy played all year, I think (double hurrahs with bells on!), and Marian was on top form too. And, yes, I did manage to beat her, but not by much. Plus the weather was great and it was just a fantastic day to be out on the greens. Lovely.

This afternoon, I've enjoyed my Alexander Technique lesson - apparently I'm looking taller, so that can only be a good thing. Well, I do try to remember how to stand and sit and stuff in between lessons, and do those back relaxation exercises, so something should be working. Mind you, I can't go again for three weeks, due to holidays etc, so by the time I go again, I'll no doubt be back to my previous height ... Ah well.

I must also say how much I've thoroughly enjoyed Clare London's gay crime/relationship novel, Freeman. Fantastic writing - dark and rich and gritty (just how I like my men, eh ...) - and a main character to die for. Freeman is hugely intense and focused and very much a product of the shadowy world he lives in. The twists and turns in the plot are excellently done, and the character himself has many secrets, some of which are revealed at the end and some of which are not. I like that - the reader doesn't have to know everything. The slow-burn romance is good too. It reminded me in some ways (if I can be so bold - hell, I'm going to, so you'll just have to put up with it ...) of A Dangerous Man, so if you liked that, you'll love Freeman. A definite recommended read. Don't be put off by the cover - which, to my mind, doesn't quite fit the sheer kick-ass punch of the story.

Tonight we have a whole plethora of TV, my dears. What is a girl to do?? I think I'll watch Have I Got News for You? and Reggie Perrin, and video Boy Meets Girl ( the new gender-swap comedy which looks quite watchable) and Pushing Daisies. With luck that'll give me something to gaze at over bank holiday, as there's (I warn you now!) sod all on TV on Sunday night, sigh ...

Today's nice things:

1. Poetry
2. Flash fiction and poetry acceptances
3. Writing Hallsfoot
4. Golf
5. Alexander Technique
6. Freeman
7. TV.

Anne Brooke
Anne's website - going for the dark, rich and gritty options, always