Highlights and faint attempts at scribbling

Had highlights put in today, in order to get that essential summer sun-kissed look - and very nice they are too - if we actually had any sun ... The lovely thing though was that Lynda (hairdresser) had been on holiday with her husband, and both had read A Dangerous Man (http://www.flamebooks.com) and really enjoyed it. Hurrah! She also said that she'd left it in the hotel library and it had actually been borrowed by someone. Also astonishing. Though I suspect it might have been a member of the American Far Right who will now ritualistically burn it in an attempt to stamp out the sin and evil of the world. Now, that would certainly be some publicity for sure! Though as it also makes for the second straight male reader who's enjoyed the story, maybe there's hope for 21st century tolerance levels after all ...

I've also been attempting to scribble down more to The Bones of Summer, but honestly it's been a hell of a hard slog today. Though I have written an ending, of sorts. I'll probably change it once I actually get there. I just don't have the energy - post-birthday blues, I imagine. Damn it. Just when I needed a bit of emotional get-up-and-go for the horrendously busy weekend which lies ahead. How I long for a weekend where nothing happens, or even an evening in! Though there is tonight - but we have to do the cleaning, and that always puts a dampener on leisure time. Double damn it.

Oh and I forgot to say how much I enjoyed the ballet on Wednesday night - Northern Ballet's version of "Sleeping Beauty". It was great - they set the story on two planets with a political agenda, and had wonderful scenes where the Red Planet visitors would turn up in their space ship and blast off again after decimating the Blue Planet natives. Bliss. A wonderful combination of two of my favourite things - science fiction & ballet. What more could you want? And the scene where the hero and his sidekick were walking through the woods towards the maze was stunning - the trees walked in the opposite direction so the journey looked so much longer. Ace. Oh and I loved the murder scenes and the dance with the knife too. Well, I would, I suppose.

This afternoon, I have to stare at the computer screen again and do a lot of sighing. It's that sort of bollocky writing day indeed. Then, I need to pop into Godalming to get some lavender oil, after which I'm playing golf with Marian - though actually I'm hoping for rain, as I could do with being very antisocial at the moment. Double sigh!

Oh, and I've practised my introductory speech for the Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) launch event tomorrow one final time. I might take some calming pills tonight, to try to ensure some sleep - how I hate any form of public speaking; honestly it's a nightmare! - though I've already just now taken a Destress pill, so no doubt I shall soon be completely asleep. Lordy lordy, but I must remember to factor in those afternoon naps I used to have, in the days when I was writing more. I really miss them.

Today's nice things:

1. The haircut
2. Lynda and her husband enjoying ADM
3. Writing an ending to The Bones of Summer.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Because I'm worth it!...

Happy birthday to me!
Happy birthday to me!
Happy birthday to me-eeeeeeeeeee!
Happy birthday to me!
Yay!

What a lovely day I'm having. Thank you soooo much for all the good wishes, cards and virtual cards which have been crowding my inbox and hall table since yesterday. I'm really grateful! I even had a virtual cake (thanks, Gillian!), virtual singing (thanks, Jackie!) and a virtual scary dancing frog - I think (thanks, Sue!). I have had chocolate for breakfast and chocolate cake for a very late lunch. So I am - for once - at home in my skin. As the French would say if they were ... um ... English.

And I have had - hurrah!! - the birthday strop. In a subtle, yet elegantly vicious kind of way, double hurrah. I mean: what birthday is truly complete without the Birthday Tantrum?? It just wouldn't be the same ... The cause being the receipt of a birthday card from the two university acquaintances (yes, they've definitely been downgraded from "friends" now) who wouldn't speak to me because they couldn't deal with people with depression. Well, sod that for a game of soldiers, say I. So I tore the thing into shreds, along with its envelope, and recycled it. And wrote a birthday poem:

Vanishing Acts

So your card arrives –
a sop to twenty years of friendship
and several months of silence –
and I tear it up,
both card and envelope
splintering paper blood and anger
across your names.

When I drop the pieces
in the recycling bin –
always mindful of the environment
even in the face of
your shallow-hearted, elegant
brutality –

I think about spitting
on you both;
I’ve always appreciated
a spot of good high drama,
you see.

But in the end, you’re just not worth it
to me.


I was soooo tempted with the spitting bit (for those moments, m'dears, when simply nothing else will do ...), but I didn't want to upset the very sweet recycling men. See how socially aware I am even in my incandescent rage!...

I also got a very lovely rejection - bizarrely - from Penny Thomas, the Fiction Editor at Seren for Maloney's Law, which - as it's so lovely and as I've decided now to not go the mainstream publishing route with it, I thought I'd include here:

"Many thanks for sending Maloney's Law to Seren. I'm so sorry it has taken us such a long time to get back to you (actually, it was only six months, so I thought it was unseasonably short - I sometimes don't hear anything for a year/18 months) - we are a small company and have been inundated with manuscripts in the last few months. Another reason for the delay is that I have been quite tempted by this novel. It is seductively written, with a strong clear plot and that all-important page-turning factor. In addition, your characters and their relationships are at once credible and intruiging. Unfortunately Seren has not yet really stepped into the thriller genre and, with my lists currently full well into 2009, I don't think I am able to find a space for a change of direction at present."

Thanks, Penny - it's one of the nicest rejection letters (actually, I've never had a novel acceptance letter as such - Flame emailed me for A Dangerous Man) I've ever had. And the terrible, soul-shaking sting you get from the "near miss" is for once pleasantly absent, I imagine from having made the decision not to pursue mainstream publication for Maloney's Law further.

This morning, I've had my usual counselling session. Kunu was impressed with my new feeling of power, from having ditched my real family and found myself a virtual little sister (how are you, Caroline (http://www.myspace.com/caroline_biesse)? Hope you're having a good day too!). And we've decided that church structures are just too disempowering for words - way too much of the awful "we love you because that's our duty as Christians and not for your own sake" - I mean: what is that attitude???!! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. It's somehow very dehumanising, which is I'm sure not at all what Christ actually meant. I think I've said this before, but the older I get the more I'm convinced that Christ didn't come to earth to make us Christians at all, but simply in order to encourage us to be more human. More of who we can be. Anything that dehumanises us (and the church, in my experience, often does just that) or makes us less than we can be is surely against the overarching will of God? Anyway, I've decided that I'm going to create a new religion which will meet with fellow believers in each other's homes between 6pm and 7pm on Wednesday evenings. It will consist of half an hour of angry ranting at God and the general populace, involving real good solid adult tantrum stuff, and then half an hour of quiet meditation. It'll revolutionise the middle of your week, get you in touch with your inner selves and - bliss! - leave the ruddy weekends free. What more could you want? Actually, even Kunu looked quite interested. Maybe I'm on to something here?...

After counselling, I had an hour and a half of Clarins facial - bliss! Then I went shopping. Hell, it's my birthday and I'm worth it! So I bought six pairs of glittery stud earrings in different colours from "All That Glitters" in Guildford (what a marvellous shop!) - from a lovely woman who wished me a happy birthday and hoped I'd enjoy the rest of my day. Thanks, I have. I then hit Marks & Spencer, and bought 5 tee-shirts and 2 shirts, all at very reasonable prices and in a wonderful range of light summer colours, and all from the men's section. My, but the boys do get the best colours, you know ... They don't know how lucky they are!

On my way home, I popped in to see Gladys, who's had a bit of a fall this week, but was in spritely mood, in spite of the pain. She'll be soooo glad to see the back of Blair. Which at nearly 92 isn't bad going. And I've bought a short story collection from Salt Publishing (http://www.saltpublishing.com) - thanks, Jen (http://www.myspace.com/jenatsalt)!

Presents received from the noble Lord H:

One box of Lindor milk chocolates (bliss!)
The DVD of "Casino Royale" (oh, Daniel, how will I ever watch anything else now?...)
The DVD of "The Queen", with Helen Mirren
Mark Haddon's "A Spot of Bother"
Anne Tyler's "Digging to America"
Murakami's "Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman" (short stories)
Julia Glass' "The Whole World Over"

Plus money from Mother (which I've already spent! See above ... Thanks, Mum!), who also bought me a very peculiar floral toilet bag, which I suspect might be for her own virtual daughter - you know, the fluffy, female one she always wished she'd had ... Bloody hell, perhaps my mother and I are more alike than I'd suspected, and we both have virtual families?? Now, there's the start of a (rather scary) novel ...

Tonight, I'm in the pizza, garlic bread, ice cream, and more chocolate zone, plus as much champagne as you could sink the Titanic with - and, hey, it's nearly time for Lord H to come home! Hurrah! Have a great evening, all!

Today's nice things:

1. Birthday tantrums
2. Birthday presents
3. Birthday dinner (Hmm, is there a connection here, do you think?...)

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Backs, ballet and books

Bought cakes on my way to work today, as it’s my birthday tomorrow but I don’t work on Thursdays. So I will be Mrs Popular for a day, hurrah! The office signed a card for me, which was very sweet, and also sang “Happy Birthday” when I’d sat down at my desk, which was also very sweet – if rather disturbing. I don’t think we’ll be entering the next series of “Britain’s Got Talent” in the choir category … Though of course, if you’re reading this at all, Carol, you’re a solo star in the making!...

The car’s gone in for a service & MOT today, so Lord H and I have swapped cars for the day. Must try and remember that his Renault Laguna is built like a tank, compared to my little Fiesta (goodness, how typical boy/girl couple we sound, all of a sudden, at least in our car choices …) so I can’t swerve into the parking spaces as I can with my own. Hope poor little Rupert (yes, I do name my car – don’t you?) is okay, and safe back tonight. I do worry about him.

And I’ve been thinking lately about scaling down the attempts to break into the world of the mainstream published. I’m just starting my seventh book now, and in my seventh year of writing fiction, and there have been no bites from any of the “big boys” so perhaps it’s time to accept that it simply isn’t going to happen. The constant attempts to chip away at the very thick glass ceiling that seems to exist around me have also, particularly over the last two years, been very debilitating and have really taken away a lot of the enjoyment I get from actually writing. I absolutely loved writing my first novel, The Hit List, and though I think it’s my worst one in terms of quality (which is probably better than it being my best – I like to think I’m improving after all), I’d love to get back that enthusiasm and sense of freshness that powered me through it. And yes it’s lovely to have been recently published by Flame Books (http://www.flamebooks.com) but I think they’re finding it hard to sell decent quantities of A Dangerous Man which must therefore be tricky for them too. After my attempts to be smiley and nice to people with ridiculous and surely unjustified amounts of emotional power at the forthcoming Annual Writers’ Conference (http://www.writersconference.co.uk), we’ll have to see.

The same goes for my poetry, which I’ve been writing for about twenty years now. I get accepted so rarely in magazines these days (though I was doing better – perhaps writing better? – a couple of years ago), that I think it’s time to revisit my once a month submissions schedule. I might scale down to trying once every couple of months. Rejections are soul-destroying enough, after all. Why put myself through it more than I absolutely have to? And I certainly won’t be sending collections out anywhere again. In my experience, people have enthused and promised to come back to me, but then after a year or so they just seem to disappear. I’ll stick to the self-publishing route. It just makes me feel a lot happier. Apart from the lack of sales of course. That’s always a bummer.

All this writerly thought and potential decision-making does make me feel sad, I have to admit. It’s hard to win awards for my work and yet get shunned by 99% of the publisher world – with the honourable exception of Flame! And also not forgetting Goldenford though there of course I do have a directorial say. But, for my own peace of mind, I do have to begin to think practically. And number my sales in the tens and fifties, rather than the hundreds or thousands.

Went to my back exercise class at lunchtime – the last of the academic year, at least for me as I can’t do next week’s. I’m hoping to get away with a light regime this session as I’d like to be able to move without aching tomorrow. I’m such an old crock, you know … Though now they tell me that they might put an extra week on, so is there, even in Health, no mercy?! Darn it, eh!

And I’ve just given up on Linda Fairstein’s Death Dance. I lost interest by page 103, to be honest. I think it was all too fast-paced and exhausting, and I didn’t care enough. I also preferred the sub-plot and had no interest in the main plot about the ballet dancer. Sigh.

Talking of which, tonight, Lord H is taking me out to the ballet at Woking – we’re going to have dinner at the theatre and see “Sleeping Beauty”, so that should be great. I love the ballet. I could have been a ballet star, you know, except that I have no sense of grace or balance. Or indeed any kind of skill or talent in that area. Ah well, another vocation cruelly snatched away, ho ho …

Today’s nice things:

1. Cakes at the office
2. The back class
3. Sleeping Beauty.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Conferences, bullfinches and champagne

We filled up all the available buckets and pans with water last night as Southern Water had promised us a drought between 1-6am today while they did something peculiar with our system. As last time they switched us off, it took nearly 3 days to return (though to be fair we were warned about it), I wasn’t convinced. But more fool me – the water was back to normal at 6.30am, so I take all my grumbles back. However, we now have buckets of water we don’t know what to do with (we don’t have a garden), and it seems a shame to waste it. Ah well.

My delegate information for the Winchester Writers Conference (http://www.writersconference.co.uk) arrived yesterday – I’m on the courses I wanted (mainly poetry ones) and I also seem to have got the three one-to-ones with publishers I was looking for too. Ye gods, how brave – and foolish! – I am. Though, no doubt, by the time I get there, they’ll have read my offerings and downgraded me to the rank of unmarketable no-hoper to be seen by one of their own authors. At least, that’s what usually happens. I am after all the definitive Z-list author – I couldn’t possibly catch a sniff of any upgrade, surely … Still, in a remarkable display of hope over much painful experience (for which I should at the very least be given a knighthood – perhaps Sir Rushdie’s will do?), I’ll be taking along Thorn in the Flesh, as it’s probably my most accessible unpublished work. Ho ho. Well, it’s got a (fairly) straight female lead. Which is rare for me in the serious stuff, I have to say.

Anyway, this morning, I was much cheered by the sight of a male bullfinch flying into next door’s tree, followed I think by Mrs Bullfinch, though I couldn’t quite make her out. Such is the place of women indeed. So I’m going to have to rush home tonight, and listen to the “bullfinch” track on the birdsong CD. However, Lord H says bullfinches are rather quiet, from memory, so much like husbands then. Ooh! Here’s a haiku. Early too, how nice! It will save so much time and frantic breakfast scrabbling for words at the weekend …

In one respect only
are bullfinches like husbands:
they don’t say much.


No idea if it’s true in the bird-world as we haven’t checked the CD yet, but heck I like it anyway.

Today, I typed up more minutes at work – this time it was the Mentoring Board stuff – it was heavy going yesterday, so I hope I can raise the energy levels for it today. Plus I popped into town at lunchtime to get Mother’s anniversary present, which is coming up fast. Hope she’ll be well enough for it – it would be such a shame if she wasn’t, particularly as she’s had to rely on Marriage Number Two to get her to the grand old 25 years’ spliced category. Dad pegged out too soon, dammit … She’s never really forgiven him for that, you know. Sometimes, we Essex Women (though Mother is only an Honorary EW, being really from The North …) just want an excuse to get our silverware for free.

Oh, and I’m wearing my nice dusky pink soft jacket from Per Una today – and Andrea has already said how nice it is. And yesterday, I wore my soft stripy blue one, and she liked that too. I’m obviously having a Good Clothes Week. Hurrah! Believe me, that rarely happens.

Ruth popped in this afternoon, between exams, and looking frazzled, poor thing. Only one more to go though and she’ll be free, hurrah! Exams – don’t think I could ever do those again. It would be too much like revisiting my past (yukk!), though I have to say that up until very recently, the onset of summer did make me go twitchy (well, twitchier than normal) at the related thought of revision. Horrors.

And good news on the Pink Champagne and Apple Juice front! Sue & Frank (thank you both!) have updated the site at http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com to include lots more film actors for the different roles. I particularly loved the idea of Alexei Sayle as Mr Sanguini – a stroke of genius indeed! Do pop by and have a look – you won’t regret it!

Tonight, Lord H is doing the shopping, and I’m hoping to get some more done to The Bones of Summer. Up to 4000 words now. If I get to 5000 words, it’ll almost seem like starting a new novel, rather than fiddling around with scenes and shiny new characters and generally pretending to be a writer. And then if I get to 10,000 words, I’ll know I’ve begun in earnest. On the other hand, I also really need to catch up on last week’s video of “My Name is Earl” sometime. Such a great series!

And we’re having chicken & chips for dinner – bliss! Chips, hmm …

Today’s nice things:

1. The bullfinch sighting
2. The Pink Champagne site update
3. Getting compliments for clothes!!

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Anger management and a big welcome to The Gawain Quest

Woke up feeling really tense and bad-tempered today. Must be the after-effects of having such a nice weekend. Mind you, I’m still cheered by the fact that Lord H rescued me from a bathroom spider last night – he wrapped it in kitchen towel, squashed it and then placed the kitchen towel plus dead spider on the floor. When I asked him why he didn’t just put it in the bin, his answer was that we still needed to have the fun of jumping up and down on the darn thing, whilst yelling. Which we duly did. And, yes, it is very cathartic. Though possibly not very good for the neighbours. Spiders? Bah! Death to the enemy, I say!

This morning, I have fiddled around with emails and a thousand and one minutes (again!), and attempted to look professional and concerned when asked anything to do with work, but frankly, m’dear, right now I just don’t give a damn. Must be Monday – can you tell? Oh Lord, when oh when will retirement arrive?? How I long for the day! It’s also rather dull here at the coalface without Ruth – she’s doing her accountancy exams this week, so I’m unlikely to see her. Or at least not for long. So it’s very quiet. Sigh.

But today’s Good News by a long chalk is that our next Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) book, The Gawain Quest by Jay Margrave, is now available from our website to purchase. It’s a medieval thriller about a charismatic hitman who goes on a royal mission to find the author of a very rebellious poem. Can he complete his mission in one piece? And what exactly is the mystery of the castle?? Find out more at http://www.goldenford.co.uk! Go on – you know you want to … After all, it’s this year’s big summer read! And a very classy novel to boot. And I should know – as I had the pleasure of editing it. Besides of which, I know a good book when I see it. Buy early! Buy often!

Thank goodness for reflexology at lunchtime though – it really helped the tension thing, and I feel much more relaxed now. I think I fell asleep several times, so I must have needed it. Took me an age to get back to the office afterwards though – as the builders have blocked off even more paths – but am I bovvered? Um, no … And if the builders go on in similar vein over the next few days, we shall be cut off entirely from the outside world and forced to scale over barbed-wire fences and scaffolding in order to reach our desks at all. Please send food parcels. Groan.

Tonight, Lord H is at theology – doing the 19th century and the Oxford Movement, which is one of his favourite eras of the church history. All those bells & smells – it brings out his inner Drama Queen, you know! And I intend to stare at my computer screen and work out what on earth Craig is going to do next in The Bones of Summer. He’s just had one shock, and now he has to work out what to do about it. Poor guy. And where on earth does that leave Paul?? Ah, the plot thickens … Or it would if I had the faintest idea what I was doing.

Oh, and I also need to draft some questions about gay fiction for the very talented M L Rhodes (http://www.myspace.com/mlrhodeswriting) to answer – as she’s kindly agreed to help me with my article. Many thanks, ML – it’s very much appreciated!

The bad news is that the relaxed feeling has worn off and I now feel as riled as hell. Again. Bloody hormones - bollocks to them is what I say. Could really do with punching someone or taking a boxing class, but that's not possible, so I had to be content with mashing the potatoes really really hard, until even Lord H began to look worried. I suspect he'll be glad to be out of the flat tonight. God, it's like having a very angry little person in my stomach and I can feel the waves of tension radiating outwards from said person even as I type. Damn and bloody damn. No bloody wonder I don't write much feelgood stuff.

And I've just finished Carol Shields' Unless. I suppose it's probably a work of genius, but frankly I found it all rather tiresome, and I have retitled it Unless I'm not Mistaken, This isn't Really a Novel but just a Series of Vignettes Linked Randomly Together. Though even I realise that's not the catchiest of titles. Anyway, it's a shame as, normally, I quite enjoy Shields' novels - though I think her short stories are where she really seriously rocks. But there you go: can't win 'em all. And I do think it's a shame that the MC's husband, Tom, was such a shadowy, meaningless figure. And yes I do know it's a subtly feminist work, blah blah, and all the men in it are therefore prats, blah blah but really all that's a bit old hat, isn't it?

Hmm, time for some more Pimm's, I think?

Today’s nice things:

1. The publication of The Gawain Quest
2. Reflexology
3. Writing.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com

Feathers and fathers

Happy Fathers' Day to all fathers out there, first off. I managed to remember to send my stepfather the chocolates he's allowed to eat (ie the ones Mother doesn't eat first ...), so I am a Good Stepdaughter today, hurrah! Mum is apparently taking him out for an airing, which includes a concert and some tea, today, so we took bets on how long it will be before he grumbles about something. My money's on the first half hour. Lord H however says that we misjudge the man - and in fact all it is is that Jim's (stepfather) inner happiness quota is very deeply hidden. Indeed it is ... Jim, of course, swears blind he never grumbles, but Mother and I know better, aha!

Oh, and Mother has her MRI scan on 28 June, so I'm hoping that things are clearer after that. The doctors do seem pretty on the ball, I must say - which is a miracle in our family, as in the past they've failed to diagnose both my father and my grandmother until it was way too late for either of them. Thank God that medical knowledge seems to have come on a little since the 1970s ... However, the plus-side of both those serious cock-ups is that my mother and I now know all the early warning signs of diabetes! You never know - it could come in handy some day. In the meantime, I've advised her to eat blueberries a lot as apparently they're good for colon cancer. We hope this means they help hold it back rather than encourage it on ...

This morning, I had another lazy lie-in (hurrah!), followed by the ritualistic cleaning of the car. Lord H also helpfully gave me a brief run-through of the different bird calls of a thrush, a blackbird and a robin. Never say that here in downtown Godalming we don't know how to have fun, eh ... Once I'd got those sorted out, we spent the rest of the day at Pulborough Brooks in Sussex - the bird sanctuary which Lord H visited last week. It was great! We joined the RSPB (http://www.rspb.org.uk), and then did the two mile ramble through the sanctuary, stopping for ages at each bird hide. We saw: herons (including two in flight), swans, moorhens, a robin, blue tits, great tits, a skylark, a blackbird pair, deer plus one fawn, lots of rabbits, one stoat (and therefore one terrified rabbit, but it survived ...), and loads and loads of LBJs (Little Brown Jobs - aka birds that don't stay still for long enough for you to identify them, but they're ... um ... brown). We also listened to the whole of the birdsong CD, so I am now totally confused. I think there's going to be a whole lot of UB in the future (ie Unidentified Birdsong) ...

Tonight, I'm planning a little writing, and then we'll probably watch the "Dalziel and Pascoe" video we've saved from the week.

This week's haiku:

Swallows fly the nest,
new wings dancing in sunlight.
They leave us bereft.

Today's nice things:

1. The possibility of Jim being less grumpy for a whole day!
2. Pulborough Brooks
3. Writing.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Facebook, golf and time travel

Am feeling very modern today - have finally set up an account on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com) last night, so have at last entered the modern world. Mind you, I don't have many friends on it yet - 3 so far to be precise - so if anyone out there is on Facebook and prepared to take pity on me, please do. I'd be very grateful.

Meant to be very literary this morning, but have done sod all - sorry. Might do some writing later on, but will have to see how it goes. I did do a little more to The Bones of Summer last night, so am feeling more enthused about it now, thank God. I was beginning to think I'd run out of steam. But I have started Chapter Two, and even typed the words, "Chapter Three", so there's hope for it yet. I think Craig is going to be like Simon in The Gifting - subtle and someone who matures with time, or rather typing. There are so many ideas about it running through my head, it will be interesting to see which of them turns up on the page. Sometimes, I do wish I could be one of these sensible writers, who plans to the enth degree and knows what's going to happen before I type it, but I'm just not. I guess I have to live with that. At least it's never dull, eh?

Golf with Marian & Siegi this afternoon - we had a great time, though our golf was crap and it pissed it down during four of the holes. How I hate the rain when I'm golfing! I just can't concentrate when my golf gloves are wet through and the rain is dripping off my cap. But lunch at Marian's was fab - spaghetti bolognese and loads of really good chat, so that cheered me. We'd nipped home to change before going to Marian's - as we were soaked through - and I decided to wear a light green top I don't wear very often (I am, as you know, the Queen of dark clothes which hide me from the world ...) - and Marian was very impressed. She asked me why I didn't wear that kind of thing more often, and when I told her, expressed surprise that someone with my strong personality and opinions would want to hide away at all. Strong personality and opinions??? And there was I thinking I was such a sweet young thing ... Ho ho. Shows what I know then. Marian did ask again about church though - so I just said we weren't going for a while, and were seeing how we felt over the summer. When I do go to church again - and I feel I will, in time - I'm definitely not going to get involved with it. That way madness lies - as Lear would say ... I simply want to be pew fodder and leave the commitment stuff behind. It's just too damaging otherwise.

Anyway, we spent ages at Marian's, but managed to get back in time for "Dr Who", which was fantastic!! How I wish I could time-travel - it would be so great. And would mean you could get away from people you didn't want to see or talk to, or meetings you didn't want to be in at work. Wonderful. And it was also a delight to see The Master back again. I was sooooo in love with him when I was younger. Which of course may explain why I write the books I do - I do so love the evil, dark side of life. I would probably have got on very well with Macbeth (nice bloke - knows his own mind. What more could you want in a man?...). And if someone could tell me who the glorious (younger) bloke was who played the regenerated Master in "Dr Who", I'd be very grateful - he was seriously hot.

For the rest of tonight, I will try and do some more writing, but I'm hoping for a relatively early night too, as I'm absolutely knackered. Too many late nights during this week, and my eyes have their own suitcase. Each.

Today's nice things:

1. Golf
2. Lunch
3. TV

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

The birds have flown ...

Oh, great excitement and trauma this morning! The baby swallows on Springwatch (http://www.bbc.co.uk/springwatch) have finally flown the nest. I was peacefully getting ready at around 8am when a great shout from the computer room brought me running to Lord H's aid, assuming he was having some kind of crisis. He wasn't - instead, the first of the swallows had fledged and the remaining four were looking bemused: What was that then? How did he do that? Can we do that? Ooh, I don't know, Cyril. (Lord only knows why one of the swallows was Cyril, but he just was ...). Anyway, Lord H and I stood gloopily holding hands in front of the computer screen (and occasionally attempting to give one of the little birdies a nudge with the mouse), watching the rest of them work it out and fly away. It's so nice to see it happen on what is, after all, the last day of the Springwatch webcams. Mind you, I shed a few tears, I have to say. I mean now the baby swallows are gone, what will we do with the rest of our lives? How will we find meaning again? Lord H rose to the occasion (as ever) by suggesting chocolate. It worked too.

I must also say how good yesterday's counselling was. We talked about family - and Kunu thinks that my appalling lack of confidence might stem from being disempowered in the family and never really having a voice. Well, I was the only girl in a complete generation of boys (including the dreadful cousins ...) and the youngest born, to boot. So I suppose I'm not entirely surprised - and actually when she said it, something inside me went yes. I don't think I ever really had any confidence (apart from in academic stuff) until I met Lord H. She also thinks that's why I've always had trouble with my religion - when I became a Christian at the age of 18, I was simply swopping one overpowering, rather unhelpful traditional structure (the family) for another (the church), and not really moving on with the whole growing up as a person thing. Bloody hell, but she might be right too. No wonder, now I'm in my kick-ass "what the bloody hell have I been doing all these years??" forties, I'm kicking over the traces. Family and church, both. Sharp operator, that Kunu, you know ...

Anyway, she's suggested that, given the unhelpful setting of family and church that I spent my childhood in, and given my rather active imagination, I would find it useful to make up my own ideal family - and see how that makes me feel - and also do the same experiment with what might have happened if I'd become a Christian later in life, when I was more settled. Actually, the family exercise is easy: I would have loved to have been born in the late 70s, rather than mid 60s (which was such a cusp period - we were the generation who never knew if we were metric or imperial, new money or old, this or that ...); I wanted to live in the town rather than the country; I would have definitely been the eldest child of the generation, and my immediate family would have consisted of one younger sister and no brothers; my father wouldn't have died when I was 13; and my mother ... well, I'll have to think about that one! She's a law unto herself. Anyway, Kunu was impressed by how quickly these initial ideas came to mind, but I shall have to think of it some more. And do the Christian exercise as well.

Actually, over the course of yesterday evening and today, it is funny how much more confident - empowered even, if I dare use such a "counselling" word - I feel, if I imagine myself with that sort of background. Weird indeed. In fact I felt so confident that after counselling I immediately popped into Marks & Spencer and bought myself two natty little cardigans - sorry, soft jackets (including a gorgeously assymetrical and dusky pink one) from Per Una. Lord H was impressed.

Talking of family though, Lord H reminded me that, as I'd briefly gained an extra grandmother during our marriage, a new sister isn't too unusual. A few years into wedded bliss, he came home from work to tell me that his grandmother had died. To which my response had been: you have - well, had - a grandmother? You never said ... And he swears blind he tells me everything ... Sigh!!

Anyway, today, Marian and I played golf, and I was just cooking on gas. My tee shots were fantastic, hurrah! I think it must be my new sister. She's making all the difference, you know. I think I'll call her Teresa ... Hmm, I feel there might be a novel in there somewhere. Worryingly ... Oh, and I popped into see Gladys on the way back home, but she was busy eating lunch, so I'll try again next week.

The rest of the afternoon, I have drafted my article - or rather my opinion piece - on straight women writing gay fiction. I've given it a light-hearted note with, I hope, some hard-hitting points. Now all I have to do is sell the bugger (as it were), ho ho. So, to treat myself for my hard slog, I'm now going to pop into Godalming and have a whizz round before Lord H gets home. Maybe I'll take Teresa with me. I mean she'll need some new clothes now she's arrived, won't she?... Oh lordy lordy, somebody pass me the smelling salts. I've flipped this time for sure ...!

Today's nice things:

1. Golf
2. The bittersweet departure of the swallows
3. Writing my article.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

The definitive Z-list feeling

Ye gods, but I'm feeling pretty Z-list today. It's the subtitle on the Blogger version of this journal (if you're reading that one) - someone once complained about it, but I kept it as it does seem to fit. Anyway, today, I am surrounded by writers who have already done it all, or are about to do it all, and are having utterly marvellous fulfilling times. And frankly, it's shit. Sorry, but it is. I know I'm supposed to rejoice in the wonderful success of others, but hell it's bloody hard sometimes. I honestly think that the older and more worn round the edges (and indeed the centre) that I get, the more invisible I become.

Anyway, bloody hard graft morning today - did the Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) minutes, sent them out, and the first response I got was a distinctly stiff command (not, I suspect, from any of the directors themselves, but from one of their administrators ...) not to send them to the address I was sending to as my email was Not Office Business. Well, sorry, but I'm doing my best, people. And the director concerned did actually ask me to use that address, so I was only doing what I was told. For once ...

I've also practised my Writewords (http://www.writewords.org.uk) poetry reading for the July event, and put together a few well-chosen (I hope) words for introducing The Gawain Quest (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) at the 23 June launch. And practised them too. Not only that, but Flame (http://www.flamebooks.com) have encouraged me to write an article on why straight women write gay fiction, so I've done a skeleton outline for that and made a couple of enquiries to possible article buyers. Ooh, and asked those women I know who write in that genre for any points they might want to include. However, I'm told that several pieces already exist in the same vein, so will probably change it to more of an opinion piece. We'll see. But it's a bloody hard slog - I'm not a natural at this game at all, I fear. Still, I'll do my best.

Then, lunch with Robin - which was lovely, as ever, but I was sooo hoping that she might say something about A Dangerous Man (which I know she's read now). However, there was nothing, and I was way too scared to ask. Yes, I know that shows how needy and desperate I am - but bloody hell, live with it! I am needy and desperate! After all, I always make some kind of comment on her concerts that I attend - even if I haven't enjoyed them (I'm not a great fan of requiems, though Lord H enjoys them), I can find something positive to say. Sigh! Still, we had a good time nonetheless

Just off to counselling now - Kunu couldn't see me this morning, so I'm popping in at 5.15 instead. How I hate the change in routine, but suspect I need the session. God, how I need the session! And after that, I'll be going straight to the Guildford theatre to see Ayckbourn's "Bedroom Farce", so hope that'll cheer me up. We'll eat at the theatre too. Salmon - yummy!

Oh, and poor Mother is having another cancer scare - bit of a bummer really, as she was so looking forward to her July holiday, which she'll now have to cancel. But I'm encouraging her to rebook for later in the year, as it'll be something to look forward to. Must admit we've been here before in terms of operations etc - being Mother, she's more pissed off by the fact that this time all the young doctors appear to be female, and she was so hoping for a nice young man - as ever, eh ... But we'll hold our breath and hope for the best. The good news is that they've caught it earlier than the last bout - thank God. Must rush and do my own essential checking then - groan! What a family indeed ...

And I do so wonder when Myspace (http://www.myspace.com) are going to allow me my blog comments facility back. Double sigh - was it something I said??

Today's nice things:

1. Lunch with Robin
2. Writing the launch party introduction
3. The theatre.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com

Watches, swallows and MCs

Lord H has lost his watch– well, we couldn’t find it anywhere last night. He was comforted by the fact that he’d already set the alarm for 6.30am so it was a matter of waiting till it started beeping and then trying to find it. Good plan – if it had worked. But come 6.30 this morning and no beeping. The watch isn’t in the flat then. So it’s either in his car, at work or somewhere along the walk he took yesterday lunchtime. I’m not that worried, to be honest, as actually it’s been broken for weeks (no strap now) and he’s been carrying it around in his pocket anyway, and ignoring my helpful wifely suggestions that a new watch, with a strap, might be nice. Well, I’m only trying to be supportive. He did look for one for a while, but never found anything he liked, so gave up. It looks like now he’ll have to find one, if the old version doesn’t reappear somewhere …

And those baby swallows on Springwatch (http://www.bbc.co.uk/springwatch) are now so ridiculously large that any moment I fear they will bring the whole nest down due to their combined weight. Lord H said that yesterday one of them was clinging on to the outside of the nest beating its wings desperately to avoid destruction. Well, fly, baby, fly – it’s what your wings are for!!! Honestly, it must be like having teenagers – leave the ruddy nest, why don’t you!! It’s time you were gone …

Oh, and I’m feeling quite chuffed as, at last night’s Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) meeting, Jennifer asked me to introduce her and say a few words at the launch party for The Gawain Quest on Saturday 23 June. I was really touched – I’ve never been asked to be an MC before. It feels quite nice – and I shall be more than happy to do it (though I’ll probably be terrified on the day and have to take 10 calming pills, as ever …) as I love the book and I had a wonderful time editing it for her. Such a class act. But then again, in my opinion, all our Goldenford books (yes, even mine!) are class acts and deserve a far wider readership than they actually get. I can guarantee that if you get yourself over to http://www.goldenford.co.uk and have a look through our list, there’ll be at least one book there that you or someone you know will love. Go on: I dare you. You won’t regret it.

Have spent this morning typing up the minutes of yesterday’s Student Affairs Committee, or attempting to, anyway. Felt like a bit of a trawl today, I must say. But then again, I’m shattered, so have no energy for this kind of stuff. Still, we struggle on. Went to my back exercise class at lunchtime, hoping some energy might appear there. Or, at the very least, a different type of exhaustion.

And this afternoon, I took the minutes of the Mentoring Advisory Board. I am seriously minuted out now – sometimes I do wish these things could be spread out more, so that one could catch one’s breath before the next one, but it’s not the university way. And it’s all the more tricky as I only work here Mondays to Wednesdays, so a full-time meetings schedule has to be shoe-horned into my part-time hours. I’m a mistress of logistics really.

Tonight, Ruth and I are going straight from work for supper at Penny’s, an ex-work colleague. Have stored the wine – and the map (I’m hopeless at directions, even though she only lives in Guildford …) in the car, and am hoping not to be too late home. Consequently, I am wearing my “going-out” shoes, which are nearly sparkly, rather than my usual black work shoes. Everyone has commented, probably because I usually dress not to be noticed, and am the Queen of Dark Colours.

STOP PRESS: Just back from Penny's now - we had a great time. Really chilled and soooo relaxing. Wonderful!

And I've just found out that Flame (http://www.flamebooks.com) have joined forces with The Writeout Club (http://www.writeout.co.uk), who are going to be stocking some copies of A Dangerous Man at their stall in the Royal Festival Hall, London. Astonishing! Michael goes posh - whatever next??? Thanks, Sean - you're a marketing star indeed.

Oh, and did I get any fiction writing done today? No chance. Sigh!

Today’s nice things:

1. Michael going posh
2. The exercise class
3. Supper with Ruth & Penny.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com

Meetings Galore

Groan. The time of year has rolled round once again for getting my car MOT & service done – as I have to renew my tax disc by the end of June. Honestly, I have no idea why they give you only a bare two weeks to get this sorted out – don’t they know people have busy lives and have to book things months ahead just in order to fit them in these days?? Last year, we really pushed it to the wire. And some. Anyway, Lord H has nobly said he’d book the service etc at a garage near him, so I’m hoping it will be done fairly soon. And at the same time he can add huge numbers of Husband Points to his already pretty full slate. Hurrah!

Not much going on at work this morning really, though I did have a nice walk around campus at lunchtime. And I’ve even remembered to post a birthday present to a friend in time for their birthday next week. Have cheated once more though, and simply given him a copy of A Stranger’s Table (http://www.poetrymonthly.com), as I’d really like to shift more copies before the autumn is upon us, with or without filthy lucre changing hands. Sigh! I must make a mental note that for my next poetry collection (anticipated c2009, I think), I will have to make a big splash of donating all the proceeds to charity; it’s what I did for my 2004 poetry collection (Tidal) and that sold like the proverbial hot-cakes. People are evidently happy to pay £4 to a good cause, but not for good poetry. Ah well. A lesson for us all indeed.

Oh and it looks like our new Mentoring Handbook is ready to print. Hurrah! It’s been a heck of a long time coming, but will be worth it, I think, for next year’s intake of mentors. And it looks so good too – Carol & I are quite proud of our A5 binding expertise – and in colour too, hurrah!

This afternoon, we had the Student Affairs Committee, so I had to put my secretarial hat on and look efficient. Ho ho. Nice to have a meeting that isn’t cancelled before I can get there for once. Suspect it’s the June flurry of meetings before everyone flees to the hills for July and August. Ah well, welcome to the academic life.

Tonight, we have a Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) meeting, which I shall again have to minute. To be honest, I hope it won’t go on too long, even though I know next week sees the launch of Jay Margrave’s marvellous historical thriller, The Gawain Quest – which is hot hot hot, and you must at least check it out, preferably buy it – just click on the Goldenford URL above for more information. Anyway, I’d like to get back home fairly early, as my next real night in is Friday, and it’s therefore a long, hard social trawl to the weekend. God, but I love being at home …

And one of my old uni friends has emailed me to say that the reason why two others of the old group haven't answered my not-so-recent-now communication about how things have been over the last year is that they didn't know how to respond to someone with depression. Well, bollocks to that, I say. Large ones. It ain't no effing excuse, m'dears. If someone had been as honest and open, and put myself as much on the line, with me as I'd been with them, even if I didn't have a bloody, bollocky, fucking clue how to respond, I would have least have tried. Either by email, phone or letter. As far as I'm concerned, they can take their so-called "friendship" and stuff it up their arses. Where it obviously belongs. Because I'm just not interested in that kind of friendship. At all. Lordy, lordy but when did things get to be so shallow? So. I have now crossed out their names from my address books, and we all move on. Deep breath, eh ...

Today’s nice things:

1. Lunchtime walk
2. Being efficient with birthday presents
3. Lord H’s husband points!

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com

Reflexology and the Right Shoes

Sigh. I really tried hard to like “Talk to Me” on TV last night – which apparently was supposed to be the next “Cold Feet”. Um, it isn’t. Unlike the glorious CF, TTM is clichéd, dull (serious yawning …) and full of characters too much up their own arses to be remotely likeable. Loveable doesn’t even come into it, to be honest. I mean, I seriously didn’t care about the totally unrealistic love triangle at the heart of it – as far as I’m concerned, they’re all as bad as each other and should simply go off and get on with it. Off camera, and so I don’t have to watch any more of their ridiculously self-obsessed lives. Heck, if anyone’s going to be self-obsessed around here, it’s going to be me. I can do without the competition. And as for the (dull! dull!) relationship between teacher and pupil, oh yawn … we’ve heard and seen it all before. So, as you can see, that was an hour of my life wasted and that I won’t get back again, and I’ll certainly be giving it a wide berth next Sunday …

Anyway, to cheer me up, Springwatch (http://www.bbc.co.uk/springwatch) has switched on the camera showing the Golden Eagle this morning – hurrah! Which is probably the closest I’m likely to get to a Golden Eagle that isn’t in a zoo. Delightful really. However, Lord H and I were puzzled as to why the chick (if you can call something that size a “chick”) was black and white, and not golden at all – he thinks that perhaps it’s not old enough to get its colour licence yet. Which makes a kind of strange sense, in its way …

However, I am devastated by the loss of the four moorhen chicks to an unknown predator. Wicked, wicked Nature indeed – it can be a nasty piece of work, you know. But said moorhen now has two extra chicks, so here’s hoping those don’t vanish too.

Ooh, and we’re thinking of joining the RSPB, as Lord H had such a fun time at the RSPB sanctuary yesterday, and is keen to do an owl hunt etc, as they have events. Ye gods, but we’re turning into twitchers for sure. This might be something which happens in one’s forties – so be warned if you haven’t got there yet …

Here at the coal-face, I’ve caught up with emails, and have even managed to persuade the University printing service to do some flyers for me. At least I hope I have. I wasn’t entirely sure that the woman I was explaining my requirements to was actually taking anything in or not. We did get a bit stuck on her apparent non-comprehension of what a bold typeface might be. Hmm. Perhaps it’s my funny Essex accent?...

I’ve also just finished a weary phonecall with the National Trust, trying to get them to send me two car stickers, so we can have free parking – now that they’ve changed the system and are charging everyone. Damn it. Never saw that flagged up in the literature, I have to say. Must have thrown the first lot of stickers away, without realising how vital they would be. Anyway, my first phone call was hopeless as the lady at the other end couldn’t hear me at all, so I had to redial. And before I could even get to what my enquiry was in my second phone call, I had to tell them my name, my NT card number, the first line and postcode of my address, how many people were on my card, how many cards the household had, my hair colour, how many pounds I put on last week and when my last dental appointment was. Okay, I admit I made up the last three, but even so!! What’s wrong with just asking me what my name is and what my query might be?? Surely the rest of it can be done afterwards. By the time they’d asked me what they could do for me, I’d actually lost the will to live. Again.

At least, I have booked a reflexology session at lunchtime – that should calm me down. And prepare me for whatever rigours the afternoon might hold. Though, actually, it’s fairly quiet at the moment – as my boss, Ruth and the Dean of Students are all away today. Hmm, suspicious, eh? I’m sure there’s a story or two there, if I can just winkle it out …

And I’m doing a lot of coughing. Must be the recovery process, don’t you know. Damn nuisance though – I keep waking myself up.

Oh, and I’ve written a flash fiction piece for the Writewords (http://www.writewords.org.uk) challenge, which this week is based on the theme of “The right shoes”:

The Right Shoes

‘What on earth are you wearing?’ Adrienne pointed one trembling hand at her daughter as Tiffany prepared as usual to make her way to the Dog & Duck that Saturday night.
‘Whaddya mean, Mum?’ Tiffany stared at her mother and continued chewing her gum. ‘It’s me usual, innit?’
Adrienne gasped and shook her head, her diamante earrings jangling. It wasn’t her daughter’s party outfit of skin-tight leopard-print leotard which upset her. Nor even the inch-thick make up, which her adorable Tiffany surely didn’t need anyway. Neither was she remotely concerned by the lack of skirt or by the fishnet stockings with “Take me now” embroidered on each thigh. After all, she’d been a teenage mother herself not that long ago …
No, what worried her – nay, shocked her, indeed – was the footwear.
‘I mean, look at them shoes!’ she shrieked.
Tiffany’s gaze dropped to her feet, and her gum-chewing ceased.
‘Oh my gawd!’ she yelped. ‘’Ere, I’m wearing two right ones, Mum. No wonder they felt so weird. What’s Darren gonna say now?’
‘I dunno, darlin’,’ Adrienne guffawed. ‘I mean, I know a gal’s gotta have the right shoes on every occasion but, babe, you’ve left me speechless this time!’


Ah, my Essex days – they haunt me, you know … You can take the girl out of Essex, but you can’t take Essex out of the girl. As they say.

And I’ve just finished A M Homes’ This Book Will Save Your Life. Hmm, it certainly tries hard, but isn't as good as it thinks it is. Which is a shame, as the characters are wonderful, but they are unfortunately lost in the desperately frenetic actions and the sometimes meaningless and certainly bizarre events. I think that about 30-40% of the events could have been cut, which would at least have allowed the characters to breathe and become more themselves - it might have been a great book if that had happened! Though I do have to say the ending is rubbish - tremendously unsatisfying. Sigh. My advice is if you want to save a life, take a First Aid course.

Tonight, Lord H is at theology class, doing the 18th century and Wesley. One of the Wesleys anyway – heck, there were so many of them, weren’t there? And I’m intending to type up the scribbles I did to The Bones of Summer yesterday and maybe do some more if I have the energy.

Today’s nice things:

1. Golden eagle chicks (well, one chick really)
2. Reflexology
3. Writing.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

The outside world and more bird antics

Ye gods, but it took me ages to get to sleep last night. My night-time routine (mental note: I really have to get a night-time routine sometime ...) must be truly shot to pieces. Also I was horrendously thirsty, but couldn't be arsed to get up for a drink. Must have been all that Lucozade having its evil revenge at last. Still, at least I'm back on the water today, so things are returning to normal. Hurrah.

We are still glued to Springwatch (http://www.bbc.co.uk/springwatch) - goodness, but those baby house sparrows are simply mouths on stalks. Incredible really. I must admit to having a soft spot for sparrows - I did a project on them in primary school and remember my father spending many hours stock still in the garden, attempting to get a decent photograph of one for me. He never did manage it but, hell, it's the thought that counts.

And I've finally finished off the cleaning which Lord H nobly began yesterday. So the flat looks less like something had died in it. Thank God. And I have rediscovered my birthday present list which I kindly gave to Lord H at least a month ago and which he unaccountably misplaced. I have now put it on his side of the dining table, so he can't miss it. Ho ho.

This morning, Lord H has decided to visit an RSPB santuary in Sussex somewhere, so the bird keenness continues. I'm hoping he's going to take some pics and come back and explain what they should all sound like too - he's taken the birdsong CD with him after all. In the meantime, I have bravely left the flat for the first time since Wednesday. Goodness me, but the outside world is strange. It took me a hell of a long time to get up and down the stairs and out to the car - which appears to start, thank goodness.

All that excitement has been enough for one day, and I have since been collapsed on the sofa, sipping water, and not writing. Sigh. Might try for another sentence or two before the sun goes down, but I don't want to strain myself. Tonight, I'm planning the watch the video of "The Last Detective" from last week (or was it the week before?) if I can fit it into my action-packed schedule. And there's also a new series on, "Talk to Me", which looks like it might be quite hot. We'll see.

Oh, and sad confession time - I've written a poem which mentions "Star Trek", as I am of course an ardent fan and know quite well where my true existence lies ...

Beyond the stars

Sometimes I wonder
if the life I’m living
is not in fact my true one,
but part of some Star Trek
holosuite game
and my real life
lies out there
somewhere beyond the stars.

It would explain a lot.

As several times
I’ve caught myself muttering
“computer: end game”
or “freeze action”
but with no success so far -
I just keep on being here.

Still, there’s hope.

For it’s my considered opinion
that I’m currently residing
in a rather long-winded
temporal anomaly
and when Mr Spock,
ably assisted by the good Captain,
finally arrives
I’ll see I’ve only really been gone
five minutes.

Till then
I stare upwards at night
where the aliens roam
and wait for the mother-ship
to summon me home.


Talking of which, I've also practised my Writewords (http://www.writewords.org.uk) London Literary Circle poetry reading - the first pass through seemed okay and fits into the 20 minutes allocated, so I hope I'll be fine. My big fear is to remember not to rush it - I tend to be a fast talker anyway, so I have to keep remembering that reading work aloud is a totally different animal. I hope they'll like it.

And this week's haiku is:

The older I get,
the longer illness takes me.
No more birthdays then.


Today's nice things:

1. Springwatch
2. Being well enough to go back on the water
3. Poetry.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Dopey day

Lord, what a dopey day today. I seem to have had about a zillion hours sleep (which I suspect I needed) and only managed to drag myself out of bed this morning after 10am. Getting up is such an effort, you know ... But at least I managed to have a bath and get dressed by early afternoon, thus showing a great improvement on yesterday "getting dressed time" of gone 3pm. Somebody pass the smelling salts ...

Hey, and I managed to eat breakfast too - hurrah! A normal one. Though I suspect lunch will be a no-go area. Lord H has gone to the Cathedral today to stock up on more theology books, and then will be popping into Guildford & Godalming to stock up on essential girly items that I haven't managed to get this week. What a hero. I also really need to do something for my stepfather for Fathers' Day (next weekend, folks, if you've forgotten ...), so have added that to the Lord H list too. Poor chap.

While collapsed on my sofa (well, it's been a busy morning - all that getting up, you know), I've been flicking through the latest brochure for the Landmark Trust (http://www.landmarktrust.org.uk) - as Lord H is keen to take a few weekends away (with me, I hope, though he hasn't actually said that!!) over the summer. They have some absolutely glorious buildings, but no TVs - which, to a person of my pathetic attention span, is quite frightening. But I have to be careful to avoid buildings with beams and/or thatched roofs in order to clamp down on the possible spider content. Mind you, last time we stayed in a Landmark Trust property, it appeared to be home to a colony of moths the size of tigers, so I ended up getting Lord H to inspect each room before I went into it. I spent a large part of that holiday hiding under the bedsheets and screaming while Lord H ran around the room attempting to kill an insect almost the size of his own head. Needless to say, that wasn't a terribly relaxing week ...

... but not as terrifying as the other Landmark Trust property we stayed in, somewhere in Derbyshire, which I swear was haunted, and I kept getting up in the middle of the night rigid with fear and praying a great deal. Though I do accept Lord H's explanation that I did spend that week with a particularly virulent kidney infection (my, how the doctors loved me when I got back) and was therefore seeing all sorts of peculiar things in the woodwork. And visiting the bathrooms a great deal. My, what fun we have on our hols indeed.

And I've put "Springwatch" (http://www.bbc.co.uk/springwatch) on my favourites list, and keep dipping in to watch the latest excitements. My goodness, those baby swallows have enormously large yellow beaks. I swear that their heads make up 90% of their bodies when their mouths are open. Scary stuff.

I've also just finised Megan Taylor's marvellous and lyrical How We Were Lost. It's Flame Books' (http://www.flamebooks.com) latest offering (so, sadly, I am knocked off my "new" perch at last ...) and well worth a read. A poetic, gripping and ultimately terrifying view of childhood and the family. I particularly loved the constantly shifting family relationships, especially Janie and her sister, and Janie and her dad. Great stuff.

Ooh, and Lord H has just come back from the shops, loaded with goodies, and has even bought flowers for the invalid. My, his Husband Points are overflowing today. At least, I think the flowers are for me - unless of course he knows a barrel-load of other sick people!

Tonight, I'm doing some more serious slumping - I'm beginning to fear that I may have lost the ability to write at all, groan ... - and will be glued to (a) "Dr Who", (b) the sofa, and (c) my essential Lucozade bottle. Thank God for fizzy orange goo drinks when you're sick, eh?

Today's nice things:

1. Sleep
2. Megan Taylor's How We Were Lost
3. TV.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

On the mend ...

... I think. Hurrah. But am about as lively as a squeezed-out sponge. Still didn't feel able to go to bed last night, though I managed to get 4 hours' sleep on the sofa early morning, so that was a relief. How I wish we'd bought a three-seater sofa though ... but where would we put it in our flat?? The plus side was that I caught up on the late-night wedding stories and, yes, Peter and Carlton did get married, and their costumes did turn up. Phew. As did Peter's estranged father, who was really quite sweet. And cute too - or maybe that was me being ill? Anyway, it was all wonderful and totally Cilla, and I cried like a dolt. That said, I had been put out of my misery beforehand by the kind-hearted Sarah (http://www.myspace.com/henna_rouge) who knew one of the bridesmaids, so my sick person's viewing wasn't as agonising as it might have been - thanks, Sarah!

It must also be the way I'm feeling right now, but I have to confess that I got totally wrapped up in "Springwatch" on TV last night, and am now desperately worried about the choughs (sp?) and the baby owls. Goodness me, I never knew Nature could be so stressful ... Oh, and I watched "The Graham Norton Show" for the first time too (so I'm no longer a Graham Norton virgin ...) - what a hoot. Loved it. Must watch again.

And I managed to eat a small salmon starter from Waitrose last night (I love salmon - under the right circumstances, I'd probably kill for it ...), and then had the other from the pack of two this morning for breakfast. So at least I've eaten something. And bizarrely that seems about all I can handle right now. Bloody hell, but when sick I do eat some weird stuff. I can remember the Christmas of the Nasty Flu many years ago now when I survived for 5 days on a diet of water, chocolate mints and Mills & Boon novels. And was none the worse for it afterwards, either, when I went back to normal. Apart from never wanting to read another M&B novel again, that is. Though I suspect that's just common sense. (And yes, I know they're very hard to write and the people that write them should be given medals and praised to the skies - but they're just bloody hard to read as well. I mean, what's the point??)

This morning (at least "morning" for normal people), I cancelled my golf game with Marian, and am in the process of cancelling all my weekend stuff too. Or as much of it as I can. There just ain't no way I'm going more than twenty feet from the flat if I can possibly help it. Unless Colin Farrell turns up of course. And then I might simply invite him in - though he'll have to deal with the mess.

The rest of the time, I have lounged around, watched "Loose Women" (oh, I'm hooked now, I'm hooked, God help me ...) and finished off Philippa Gregory's The Boleyn Inheritance. What can I say? The usual classic, gripping Gregory novel. Buy it now. Read it now. You won't regret it. I particularly loved the way Anne of Cleves grows so much throughout - it's a pleasure to see.

Oh, and Lord H will be so pleased, as I've just now had a bath and got dressed. Hell, I've even washed my hair. And put some make-up on. I've opened the curtains too! When he came back home yesterday evening, his eyebrows shot up at the realisation that, whilst he'd been at work, his wife had been replaced by a clapped-out pig on heat with hair you could fry bread on. Dressed in a stripy pink dressing-gown too. Oh, what a delightful image indeed - I must use it one day in my dreamed-for periodical, "Knackered Woman". It can be on the front cover of the inaugural edition ... Anyway, I hope that Lord H's homecoming tonight will be marginally less stressful for him.

Tonight, I shall do sod all. Frankly, having a bath has used up my day's supply of energy and I suspect it will be time for a nap fairly soon. Again. I think the grand finale of "Ugly Betty" is on though, so I can't miss that. Bloody hell, but the cleaning can wait.

Today's nice things:

1. Salmon starter x2
2. Philippa Gregory's book
3. Feeling a little more human, and less like a walking (for "walking", read "staggering") bundle of sicknesses - hurrah!

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Sick. Very sick ...

This will be a short blog, I'm afraid, as I'm sick. Having one of my nasty sinusy sessions again so was up all night last night, though I think maybe I did get about a couple of hours' sleep. Maybe. It's hard to tell as my brain is slush and I'm having trouble making any kind of logical connections. To anything.

Actually, it's a bit depressing, as I haven't had one of these bouts for a while, and I was beginning to hope. As you do. You know how it is. Or rather, it would be depressing, if I had the energy to be depressed. If you see what I mean. Bugger. This is dull. Sorry. Still, it's true to life, as I am excrutiatingly dull today and my head looks - and feels - like it's been put through a mangle backwards. And the mangle won.

On the plus side, I haven't been as toe-curlingly bad as I've been in the past, (though it was touch and go at one point this morning, I can tell you!) so maybe I can come out of this sooner rather than later. You never know. God, I hope so.

That said, I have had some more lucid moments - which found me early on in the night and then again this morning managing to get together a running order for the poems I've been asked to read at the Writewords (http://www.writewords.org.uk) inaugural London Literary Circle meeting on 3 July. Thanks, Jools, for asking me by the way - I'm really grateful. I'm hoping I might even sell one or two more poetry books at the event - you never know. It would be nice to have my sales of A Stranger's Table in double figures before I get to the latter side of the year for sure! For the reading, I've decided to concentrate on poems about religion, sex, lesbianism and depression. That should get 'em rolling the aisles. Possibly trying to escape ...

For the rest of the day, I've cancelled everything - though honestly it's been quite hard to talk as it just makes my sinuses worse. Dammit. Oh God, groan, moan - get over yourself, Brookie, already! Sorry ... Anyway, so no counselling with Kunu, no lunch with Robin and no theatre tonight - though I'm happy for Lord H to go on his own, I suspect he might end up staying in. Oh, and no food. Don't do food at the moment. Nasty, rotten stuff.

And no writing - Craig remains trapped at the breakfast table with Paul. Possibly forever, poor bugger. He's still enjoying the view though. Thank goodness.

Have watched crap TV most of the night - was glued to the wedding stories thingy on at midnight. I'm so glad the lesbian wedding managed to go ahead (don't listen to the voices, Val - you know Lisa loves you ...), though I'm now really worried about the two gay nightclub owners - will they ever be able to afford the rings? It's a mystery. My crap TV viewing has also continued through the day - though I have to say "Loose Women" at lunchtime was great. Haven't seen that one before. Must see it again. It raised my sadly depleted interest levels and stopped me thinking about myself for a second or two. Now, there's a novelty - I'm sure Lord H wishes he knew how to make me do that more often ...

I'm not convinced I'll be sleeping any better tonight either. We'll see.

Today's nice things (oh God - do I really have to do this??? Oh well, here goes ...):

1. Um, thinking about poetry
2. The lesbian wedding
3. Loose Women.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Secretarial City and anniversary cakes

Madness in the office today – though a kind of organised, fairly contained madness, which was nice. I do so love it when there’s a secretarial panic on – it makes it all worthwhile. Anyway, I rushed around in a fairly logical way organising a meeting for tomorrow with the Guildford School of Acting, who want to come in to talk about our Freshers’ Week DVD script ideas. This meant throwing myself on the mercy of the adorable Helen from Catering – where would I be without her? – who rushed around and got me a room, the required numbers of glasses and biscuits too. What an angel.

Not only that, but we’re also doing a massive photocopy for next week’s Mentoring Board, which all has to be in hard copy. Don’t ask me why – as it seems most odd to me as these days I email 99% of stuff out, thank goodness. But for some reason, with this one, we have to photocopy for Britain (something to make an Olympic sport perhaps?... and yes I do hate that logo too ...) and then hand-deliver round the campus. What joy! Still, at least it gets us out of the office – usually – as this time I won’t have to do the hand-delivering, as I won’t be in on Friday. Ah well. So I am simply the Photocopying Queen.

Ooh, and as tomorrow is my third year anniversary at the University, I’ve bought cakes for the office for today. Which – hurrah! – include some utterly gorgeous chocolate chip cookies which are like heaven in the mouth (sorry, too poetic by far, I realise – but I felt I had to emote at this point) and make up 1000% for missing out on my chocolate chip biscuit earlier in the week. Ha! And it also means I am Mrs Popular for a while. More hurrahs.

Other work excitements - we've all got a wedding invitation from Carol (who marries Mike in August), which I'm thrilled about. So I shall have to get Lord H to buy me another frock - and maybe even a hat! I love hats. But rarely wear 'em. Sadly, I do look best in the kind of hats worn by the Cavaliers during the Civil Wars, but I fear that won't suit at all ...

Did my back exercise class at lunchtime – I do enjoy it. It makes me almost feel like a normal person doing normal things. Astonishing really. The tutor is pleased with me as I appear to be improving. Or maybe she’s feeling kinder, as I am the class no-hoper after all. In a fit of enthusiasm, I have actually purchased an exercise band from her so I can (no, don’t laugh … as I know perfectly well this won’t happen …) continue my good work during the week. Naturally, I have purchased the weakest strength version as I am so utterly pathetic at pulling the darn thing in any direction – which turns out to be Medium Strength, as the Wimp Strength is only for toddlers. Sigh. Seems ageist to me. But I am cheered with the fact that the Medium Strength band comes in a fetching shade of green, which goes charmingly with my eyes. Ho ho.

Oh and, groan, the boss brought his small child in today at lunchtime – which always makes me feel twitchy as I don’t like children, especially when I’m not prepared for them. Still, I managed to make a fairly good job of politely ignoring the alien in our midst until the boss took the child away and attempted to get us all to say bye-bye to it. Honestly, I don’t like to be prejudiced, but what is it about parents that makes so many of them turn from reasonable people who allow others their likes and dislikes into people who assume that you will actually want to relate in any way to their offspring? And, while I'm on the subject, why do parents put on funny voices when speaking to the little people anyway? It’s a mystery to me. The upshot was that when chivvied along to say bye-bye to Small Child, I must admit I didn’t play up to the role, instead simply smiling in a strained fashion and turning away. Hell, I’m in my forties now – I don’t have to pretend. And yes, there are some little people I’m quite fond of (few and far between, and possibly fewer than my friends with children actually imagine …), but only because I’ve got to know them better as people, not because they’re children per se. And I still wouldn’t want to be with one on my own – so, if you’re reading, ignore the soft spot I have for Charlotte & Sam, and don’t put me on your child-minding list, Jane H – honestly!!...

Sigh - the London Magazine has sent me a sharp, no-nonsense note rejecting my poetry offering. Actually I'm not really that bothered as I didn't expect any interest - it was a wild-card shot over the bows in the first place, as I know I'm way too 'umble for their 'igh-class clientele (ooh I say, pass the caviare, do, Carruthers ...). But they could at least have been friendly. Buggers, eh?

Tonight, Lord H is out shopping as it’s his turn, and I plan to ring Pauline (hello, Pauline – if you’re reading this, I’ll be ringing you sometime, I hope), my Kent friend. Am also hoping to get some more done to The Bones of Summer as Craig is feeling twitchy at being stuck where he currently is. Though, rest assured, he thinks the view is good … Hmm, Lord preserve us – pretentious twaddle, we say! I am rapidly becoming a fictionalised element in my own autobiography. Ye gods, somebody pass me a reality pill.

Oh, and I'm not feeling too good - double bugger. Am snorting like an old horse and sounding pathetic. Hmm, no change there then.

Today’s nice things:

1. Secretarial busyness – hurrah!
2. The wedding invitation
3. Anniversary cakes!

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Birds, postmen and Guildford Writers

Forgot to say (or perhaps I’m too ashamed to confess it), but Lord H and I bought a birdsong CD at the end of last week’s holiday, so we could wow our friends with our amazing ability to distinguish a woodpecker from a sparrow. However, there are 99 tracks on it, plus a booklet (which unfortunately doesn’t include pictures of said birds, which might have been more useful), and we’re so far only up to track 12. Well, there’s only so much constant tweeting you can take really. But I do think I have recognised a blackbird since listening to one on the CD. And I now know that if you’re walking in woodland and hear something you haven’t heard before (birdsong, people, birdsong …!), then it’s probably a great tit (as it were), as they have a notes range so vast that no-one can log it all. It also surprised me that birds of the same species can sound so different, as they’re all little individuals. Just like people really. Astonishing. A statement which probably goes to show just how birdist I have been in my life.

This morning, Lord H performed another of his shapeshifting tricks – he left the flat looking entirely like his usual self but, by the time I was waving him off down the path, he’d changed into the postman. Suspicious, eh … I fear the mother-ship may be calling him home. However, fear not as, once the postman had vanished next door, Lord H turned up as himself again, pointing helpfully to his head so I could know it was him. Mornings in downtown Godalming are so exciting, you know.

Oh, and on the radio this morning, I heard a lovely song – “Grace” – by someone called Simon Webbe (whom I’ve never heard of, which probably just goes to show how ignorant I am). Sorry. Anyway, must get the CD sometime – I loved it.

It’s a bit flat at work at the moment. Yesterday’s flurry of activity has obviously stunned all my usual correspondents into silence. I’m waiting on a barrel-load of people to reply to my pleas for attention, but am held in a vacuum until they do. Welcome to the Secretarial World, eh? ’Twas ever thus.

Took my usual stroll round campus at lunchtime, and stopped in at the new exhibition at the art gallery. Sat by the lake for a while too – it’s such a good place to think in (if you get my meaning). Watched the coot (or are they moorhens? Who can tell?…) family – the youngsters were picking grasses from the parent bird, when really they should be old enough to do it themselves by now. Hmm, we obviously have more in common with the bird world than we thought. And there was also a grey squirrel rolling in a soil bath at the bottom of a nearby tree – perhaps we should all do this occasionally? It certainly looked like fun. Oh, and I thought I heard a tweeting from the bush behind me that I’m sure I’ve heard on the birdsong CD– but just couldn’t remember which of the tweeters it might be. Darn it. I think all this nature rambling must be due to age - when I turned 30, I suddenly developed an undying love for Dutch flower paintings (which I'd always hated before) - now I can't get enough of them. Give me a Dutch flower painting - even a postcard will do - and I'm your friend for life. In the same way, I think my 40s will be the decade of the bird. You have been warned ...

On the PR front, the Goldenford (http://www.goldenford.co.uk) article that appeared in The Guildford Times a couple of weeks ago has also apparently appeared in The Cranleigh Times, so our fame is spreading … Today Cranleigh, tomorrow the world.

Oh, and I’ve written a poem – which is something of a relief as I haven’t written one for a while and was getting twitchy. Again.

Shedding the skin

These days
I want to do less
and my pleasure lies in saying no.

While others fill their days
with lunches, hobbies, evenings out,
an ever-widening circle of friends,
my first and strongest instinct
is to open the closed fist
spread the fingers wide
and simply let it all go.

Watching my life
spin outwards to nothing,
a distant echo
of who I used to be
comes back to me
but I don’t remember her now.

If to be myself,
I have to release
what I thought I was
or might be once
then maybe that’s what I’ll do
anyhow.


Double joy - the A Dangerous Man reviews from Erastes (http://www.myspace.com/erastesdotcom) and Becky (http://www.myspace.com/edie1964) have finally turned up on Amazon and can be found here: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Dangerous-Man-Anne-Brooke/dp/0954594568/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/202-0915331-5590251?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1181061968&sr=8-1. Many thanks, guys, I'm really grateful!

Tonight, there’s Guildford Writers (http://www.guildfordwriters.net), so that should be fun. Am planning to take the first page of The Bones of Summer along and get some feedback on that. I suspect I’ll be asked what my plans are for the book, as somebody usually asks me that whenever I start something. Um, and my answer is always the same – I’ll know when I write it, as it’s just as much of a mystery to me as it is to everyone else. It’s all done by smoke and mirrors, you know. That said, as usual I do have an end scene in mind, though I haven’t written it yet. I need to get the guys some way nearer it before I do that one (and even then no doubt it’ll change when I finally get there myself).

Today’s nice things:

1. Amazon reviews
2. Writing a poem
3. Guildford Writers

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com

Reiki and gin

Groan. Back to work today. Honestly, it’s not that the job is horrible – it isn’t – but the weight of despair that lies on one’s back on the dreaded Return to Work Day gets worse with age. I used to be okay about this in my 20s, even though the jobs I had then were utter and insurmountable crap, but now even the thought of it has me pinned to my bed, dragging my feet round the flat and weeping in Lord H’s arms before the dreaded 8.30am occurs. Lordy, but what an eventful morning indeed. Still, at least Lord H is used to this kind of thing, and reminded me that I am entitled to gin tonight if I survive the day without screaming and gibbering in a corner. Hmm, as of the time of writing, there are still five hours to go though. Hope I make it …

I have however managed to deal with all my outstanding emails before the noon-tide hour arrived, so am basking in Appropriate Secretarial Smugness (ASS for short …). I have also managed to sound normal and non-weepy when asked about how the holiday went – so am definitely deserving of tonight’s gin. And I remembered biscuits (from Sandringham, dahlings – of course!) for the office, so I have ticked all the right First Day Back boxes, hurrah. I’ve been good too and only had a Fruit Shrewsbury biscuit (which I don’t really like), so will rapidly be promoted to Food Martyr Status Level A. Double hurrah. Don’t wait up though – as I suspect I’ll succumb to a Chocolate Chip one soon. Damn and double damn - this afternoon all the ruddy chocolate chip biscuits were gone!!! I live in an office of gannets and vultures for sure!

This lunchtime, I had my first ever Reiki healing session – thought it might get me over the Day One hump. As it were. I’ve asked Emma (therapist) if it might make me 6 foot & blonde, but she appeared doubtful. Ah well, dreams are free, eh? Actually, it was really good – I felt very relaxed this afternoon. I could certainly feel the energy levels whizzing round. Emily said she had a strong vision of the colour red while she was doing her stuff. Can’t say that surprises me – it’s always been my colour. Darn it!

And I’ve been extra-whizzy and chased all the Faculty-to-be admin people begging for a Student Care Services slot in their induction week programmes – not sure I’ll get much response, but two seem keen already. Phew! We should get some kind of outing for our new DVD then … but sadly I don’t appear on it. Cries of relief from the crowds indeed.

Tonight, Lord H is out at theology (the 17th century & Cromwell – handy then!) class and I’m planning to do more to The Bones of Summer – I really have to get Craig & Paul beyond their first night together and into the family disaster/crime part as otherwise my head is in danger of exploding. Not a pretty sight then. And, at the very least, Paul does deserve breakfast, poor chap. He did have such a rough time in Maloney’s Law after all.

Ooh, and there’s a repeat of “New Tricks” on TV later on, so will probably watch that, and try to make a dent in the ironing at the same time. That’ll raise the level of my wife points. Surely?

And I’ve just finished Ansley Vaughan’s (http://www.ansleyvaughan.co.uk) very raunchy e-novel, A Personal Statement – really enjoyed it, so thanks, Ansley! The naughty (oo-err, missus!) side of Parliament (question: is there any other side??!) is always good to see, and the two male leads were great. Also loved Jack Wickham – and hope there’ll be more of him – and Pascal – soon?

Oh, and I wrote a piece of flash fiction for the Writewords (http://www.writewords.org.uk) challenge - the rules were to have something bovine with the word "blue" in it:

Bull’s-eye!

The tension in the room could be felt by even the most unreconstructed chauvinist. ‘Bull’s-eye!’ yelled Jackie, as the dart flew home. ‘Got it!’ The air around her turned blue as several hardened drinkers – male of course – swore at the humiliation. Surely they would never be able to hold up their heads in Barnsley again.


Oh, and I had the gin. It was grand, thanks.

Today’s nice things:

1. Reiki
2. Gin
3. Ansley’s book.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Post-holiday blues

Is it just me or is getting back into the normal routine post-holiday just hell? It feels like a non-day really, the calm before the storm of work. A space between two definite engagements. Groan. I was vaguely thinking of popping into the Quakers again today, but couldn't be arsed, frankly. So I have had a super-non-spiritual day tripping my way down the primrose path to sin. As it were. I think that might be some kind of Medieval image, but can't think where it comes from - possibly Chaucer? Who can say?

Lord H has been busy typing up his latest essay, which he has to give in tomorrow. Tomorrow! I ask you! I should rename him LastMinutedotCom. Anyway, he's done it and I've proofread it now, so honour is satisfied. Thank goodness we didn't have anything planned though.

Have also done some of the ironing whilst watching my video of last week's "New Tricks". Not enough jokes in this episode, I think - I missed the usual quick-fire routine, but it won't be the same without it, as sadly it was the last in the series. Hope they start a new series soon. We've also got "The Last Detective" on the video, but probably won't watch it till later in the week, if there's time, as Lord H is still playing around with the essay.

Oh, and I finished a couple of books whilst on holiday: Peter Gaunt's Oliver Cromwell was utterly marvellous, and I really must get the full biography, as this was only a shortened version. Well worth a read if you're into historical biographies, or just into Cromwell. As I am. I also read Jon Mcgregor's So many ways to begin. Having loved Mcgregor's first novel (If nobody speaks of remarkable things), I was really looking forward to this, but I didn't find it quite so inspirational, to be honest. Being Mcgregor, it's probably still a work of genius, but really way too depressing to take on holiday. I think you have to be feeling emotionally strong to read it and, as I haven't felt emotionally strong since 1975, that was a bit of a bummer.

Have also just today finished off Richard Grayson's The Silicon Valley Diet - gay short stories. With bite. Very quirky, but probably way too post-modern for me to get the point of them. Good writing indeed (though being me I could have done with more sex - and you people thought there wasn't enough sex in A Dangerous Man (http://www.flamebooks.com/product.asp?prodId=32) - ha! I say, ha! Michael definitely sees more action than anyone in TSVD!...), but I may have missed the quintessential meaning of it all. So no surprises there then.

Tonight, Lord H and I will be glued to "Midsomer Murders" on TV - but how I wish they'd put it on earlier in the evening. I've already squeezed in one nap today, and feel I'll still have trouble lasting the course. Ah well, I never was a great mover or shaker - even in my teenage years, I was the one curled up with a good book and a lemonade come 9pm on a Saturday night. Which may explain why I'm currently living out all my wicked stuff by writing it. Hey ho.

And I've thought about writing more of The Bones of Summer, but can't raise the energy levels. Bugger, eh?

This week's haiku:

Over level plains
wind turbines glide like giraffes:
beauty built by man.


Today's nice things:

1. TV
2. Reading about Cromwell
3. Finding a gay male writer who writes less sex than I do - aha!

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk

Holiday & review

We're back! Had a great time on hols, once we'd finished with the rainy days. And in fact even they weren't bad either.

Holiday highlights included:

1. Lord H's comment that if people simply pressed the "off" button on the wind turbines, then everything would be much calmer. Not sure he's got the hang of what a wind turbine does. (I love 'em, by the way. They're soooo elegant - like giraffes in Prada).

2. Playing on the only hilly golf course in the whole of Norfolk (flat place, Norfolk - err, not where we were, dammit ...).

3. Staying at a hotel where the 1970s were still in vogue. Anyone for prawn cocktail, Black Forest gateau and asking the menfolk if they'd like extra vegetables (but never asking the same of the womenfolk)? Ah, the memories ...

4. Mango icecream - delicious.

5. The hotel counting green beans wrapped in bacon as a vegetable. Bliss.

6. Seeing 101 National Trust properties, plus Sandringham and two other posh houses. At least.

7. Going to Ely, visiting Oliver Cromwell's home and falling in love with him all over again. What a complicated, humane, cruel and fascinating man, and usually all in the same breath too. Love 'im. Bought the latest biography, and will probably buy another shortly. The ultimate East Anglian loser fallen on hard times who made good. Aha! Proving there's surely hope for me yet - just don't put me in the same room as an idiot king.

8. Being followed by mad people around Norwich Cathedral - is it the inbreeding, I ask? (Pause for brickbats from Lady Sister-in-Law, who lives in Norfolk ...)

9. Finding a lovely National Trust windmill on the Norfolk Broads, where we could just sit and stare out at the water. Total relaxation ...

10. Being with Lord H on our own - utter bliss!

So, back to 1001 emails, 1000 of those being Spam (no, I don't want to give extra pleasure to my woman, thank you - even if I had one. I mean, if we lived in Norfolk, she wouldn't have time for that kind of thing anyway, as she'd still be a 1970s cleaning slave ...).

And a lovely review from http://www.myspace.com/book_of_the_moment about Pink Champagne and Apple Juice (http://www.pinkchampagneandapplejuice.com), which I reproduce here:

"Pink Champagne and Apple Juice is the story of twenty something Angie Howard, who more than anything in the world, wants to escape her small hometown in England, and make a life for herself in the city. Despite her mother's attempts to keep her home, Angie boards a train and tracks down her estranged Uncle John. At one point Angie had been close with her uncle, but one day after a fight with Angie's mother, John vanished from their lives. Though surprised to see her, John agrees to give Angie a place to stay, neither of them knowing how important a role they will eventually play in each other’s lives. Pink Champagne and Apple Juice is a fast paced amusing story which offers a peek into a world that you won't soon forget. There is a little of everything tossed in: love, scandal, betrayal … and don't forget it all takes place in a transvestite nightclub. The story moves along quickly, and a few times I actually laughed out loud. Angie is a character you can't help but relate to; she's trying her hardest to make her dreams come true and just can't seem to catch a break most days. I think we've all felt that way at some point or another. Aside from being humorous, it’s honest and heartfelt. It flows, and I enjoyed it from the first page. If you're looking for something a little different, look no further."

Many thanks indeed - much appreciated! So glad you enjoyed it, Book of the Moment (Reviewer)!

Ooh, and I've had some lovely comments from the Writewords (http://www.writewords.org.uk) gang on my first couple of pages of The Bones of Summer, which I uploaded on site last weekend - thanks, guys!

Best go and do some unpacking now before "Dr Who" turns up - can't miss that second-parter, after all.

Today's nice things:

1. Holiday
2. Being with Lord H for a whole week uninterrupted - hurrah!
3. The Champers review.

Anne Brooke
http://www.annebrooke.com
http://www.goldenford.co.uk